The Sun Will Rise Again

in The Ink Well3 months ago (edited)

Life seems like a routine for Belle Flores though it has only been weeks since she started working at the local hospital. She was never late and would often arrive on time, but today was a little bit different, she has prepared way too early for work. She hopped on her old car and drove towards a hill nearby. She needed a time alone before facing her responsibilities. As the sun began to set Belle arrived at the top of the solitary hill, she lit herself a cigarette and stared at the darkening horizon. If only she had more chances in life, Belle thought, than staying at the hospital her grandfather founded. This said 'legacy' has been slowly killing her. If her father hasn't died early, she would have been living her best life than filling his place at the hospital.

(Image by dakzxz from Pixabay )

But her thoughts came to stop when she heard someone wailing at the sun near her. She stared at the young man so confused as he bitterly wept at the setting sun. She once thought it was only her imagination but as the young man's face become clearer and clearer she realized that person was real and not just her imagination, he looked somewhat mystical but unlike those guys in historical movies he doesn't look like he was acting nor in involved in a cosplay. She listened to his long litanny that his archaic language seemed to be understandable to her now. He wanted the sun to comeback, Belle heard. She kept staring at the man, the man seems to not notice her till the sun finally set and the young man noticed her and began to look at her direction. They were staring at each other for a long time curious at each other till she realized the place has began to get darker as the street lights began to lit up for the night. She look back at the sun and she found out it was gone, her eyes went back to the young man and she found out he left already. Belle snuff-out her cigarette and began to stand-up, she had seen enough and it is time to head to work. She went back to her car trying to forget what had just happened, but she couldn't help but felt weird about it as she drove towards the hospital. She believe the man was a ghost and it has been her first time to see one.

She arrived at the hospital earlier than usual. The silence creep her out, with no people seen on the hallways, with an almost empty parking lot, and a full glowing moon. Belle knew it was nothing to be scared of but as she walked alone on the empty hallways and beyond what she thought was empty brought her a sudden scare. A figure has been gazing at the moon in silence. There was a familiar stature of the wailing man at the end of the hallway but as she came close to the person she realized she was wrong, he was Mr. Arao Dimagiba, the person who helped her grandfather established the hospital. Belle greeted him as he noticed her presence but soon found out he was seeing her for a check-up, and Belle felt bad thinking about the wailing man as she remembered him that night.

'Are you crying over the moon, again?' Belle asked the man as he stared back at the full moon. She was so unsure of what to call him, she thought of calling him uncle but they weren't close enough, so she chose to say things off the topic.

'Not going to do that sort of thing.' Arao answered raising an eyebrow over what she just said and Belle saw that mysterious glint in his smile, she stared at it for a moment but realized it was gone.

She lead him for his check-up and started browse over his medical history. She was confused at how his leukemia was left untreated when he had his own personal doctor. Deep shadows covered his dark sunken eyes, that despite his positive demeanor, life has slowly drained on him. She was informed few days ago that Dr. Lukas Ponce, his personal doctor was out of country, but Belle didn't know that Arao would visit sooner and would choose to visit the hospital that night.

'Please let your family know that you are staying over for your tests.' Belle informed the man.

'Just give me my medications.' He muttered.

'You need to take this seriously, Mr. Arao.'

'I am well.' Arao happily replied but the deep creases of his eyes told Belle that the supplements weren't enough, and as he began to laugh his lifeless cheeks suddenly had glow in it and he smiled once again that as his teeth was showing Belle could not help but stare at him because she knew there must be something wrong with the man. He can't be smiling when he is dying. Belle was even more confused when his smile got even more unusual.

'You need to be serious, Mr. Arao, or do you wan't to just die like this?!' Belle said what she wanted to say. She can't have a dead patient at her first few months as a doctor.

'I survived for a long time this way, what's the use of your treatments?!' With that his smile dropped and he never looked the same way again. So Belle gave him the prescription he needed with only iron supplements and melatonin on it. She sent him off after she helped brought supplements from the hospital's pharmacy.

'Call me when you needed help, Mr. Arao.' Belle told him. She waited for him to get into his car and drive away but instead he remained standing in front of her staring intently at her concerned face.

'Do I know you?' He pondered questioning her.

'Sorry, I forgot to mention, I am Belle Flores, grandaughter of doctor Flores.' Belle told Arao yet as what she had observed, he might not know her as it had been a long time since they first met and that was when she was a still a little child.

'Both my grandfather and my Dad died but I know they would like to take care of you in this hospital.' Belle told the man.

He chuckled over what she just said.

'I don't need your help.' He insisted.

(Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay)

The moon shone so bright that night that looking up at Arao's moonlit face has been too bright for Belle's eyes that she forsake the fangs coming out from the sides of his mouth.

'Treatments is not really the solution most of the time and only a few would survive in choosing to undergo treatments but cancer is curable, Mr. Arao, if there is still time, let us help you?' Belle extends her help yet again all her efforts are denied.

Arao can't help but smile at what he just heard, everything she just tell him sounds funny to him that his devious smile appeared on his face. He no longer looked human as he denied all things the girl said because she never understood he doesn't need her help when treatments is not what he needed.

'I never helped create this hospital, don't feel obliged to help me.' Arao stated getting himself ready to leave.

'As my grandfather's friend, you are welcome here. Let me know if you are in need of help?' Deep sadness laced Belle's words because she hoped she was there in her Dad and grandfather's trying times, she doesn't want more death anymore when she know she could help.

'I'll let you know.' With that, Arao left leaving Belle's sentiments behind.

'Don't worry about that person. He doesn't even listen to his doctor, how else would he listen us..And!? He's so old already, it's his choice if he wants to go die.' Claire said as she went to fetch Belle from the parking lot. Claire learned a lot after being on the hospital for a long time and they still had patients to care for and things to stay away from, and Arao are one of those things.

A few months later Belle received a phone call from Dr. Ponce informing her that Arao is severely ill. She went over to his place after Dr. Lukas Ponce told her the address. Unlike her nightly work at the hospital, she went there in the morning bringing with her a bag full of emergency supplies. She was greeted on the door by a help, she once thought the place was rather lively because the guy was rich but as the door closed, Belle found out that the place was void of happiness as darkness inside the home came creeping in. The old mansion was illuminated by light bulbs and some of them was out of light. She was told to wait on the living room yet as she waited for half an hour she began to look at the portaits above her. There was an old sketch of a person that as she gaze at it intently she found out the person rather looked familiar like she'd seen him before. 'I know this guy!' Belle blurted out but realized the drawing was from 1500s.

'He's Arao.' A man answered behind Belle.

'Let me tell you about him.' Dr. Ponce stated motioning her to also sit down.

'I've seen him on the hill before. I thought he was a ghost, I can't beliece he was still alive!? How was Mr. Arao, Uncle?' Belle asked, but before Dr. Ponce could answer a tray of snacks was served in front of them at the table.

'He was beginning to feel better until this happened.'

'What do you mean, Uncle?' Belle asked.

'Arao is not human but he began to feel like human again, and he collapsed. We had him under close supervision, we don't know when will he wake up butwe knew he will sleep again for a long time. He might not see me when he wakes up and I'm afraid my son may make the same mistakes if it will be his time to take my place.'

'It is Arao's dream to be human again, to feel the sun again even if it takes him a long time. Please help us this time, Belle.' Dr. Ponce added.

Belle finally found out why the treatments won't work. She knew that Arao is still human and that he should have been treated like one, and not as if he was a monster. There are things that Belle weren't allowed to do as a doctor but she needed to treat Arao as a human first before she could help him get cured, and that is what she will do when she knew she still had the time.

*Arao/Araw - Sun or The Sun


A mysterious vampire story! I love the beginning, especially the two figures staring each other and the howling, which is really otherworldly. The whole hospital backstory and her father was really interesting too! There was certainly a mystery as the reader tries to figure out if Arao is a good guy or a bad guy!

I did find it a little long though, if I'm honest... it could do with a bit of careful editing to strip down for clarity.

I was curious in what went wrong too, thanks for telling where it was😄

The advice from The Inkwell below might help too. If you want me to show you with a passage I'm happy to help. You definitely have the ideas! Hive is a great way to learn...

A small tip here, for one. I think you'll like it!

'I've seen him on the hill before. I thought he was a ghost, I can't believe he was still alive!? How was Mr. Arao, Uncle?' Belle asked, but before Dr. Ponce could answer a tray of snacks was served in front of them at the table.

Why the snacks? Is it just to try to make the setting more real? If so, great. But make the description say something about character and add/or to the themes. Instead:

'I've seen him on the hill before. I thought he was a ghost, I can't believe he was still alive!? How was Mr. Arao, Uncle?' Belle asked. She felt suddenly cold, aware of the night creeping at the windows.

Every detail should work to build these things. Careful too of your tenses - be consistent about past (Bella remembered) or present (Bella remembered). Past is easier as a new writer. 😃

I can't believe there was a better way to improve the story, thanks for the input😄😄 I'll internalize and apply these because these are the part(s) that needs improvement😸

Belle has an interesting history, which has intertwined her life with responsibility and duty. You paint her background nicely here, drawing us in with curiosity. However, we also feel that this story would flow better with some editing. Many authors find it helpful to use Google Documents to catch grammatical errors and streamline their stories.

Additionally, we believe you might learn from an article in our catalog of fiction writing tips called Show, Don't Tell. This is a fascinating story, we hope these tips help you see how you could have elevated it even further! Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.

I love Belle's attitude towards Arao. Have a nice evening

Thank you! Your words meant a lot❤