When the most festive mailbox you've seen is right down the street from the house; take a picture of it, run it as a cover image, and wing the rest.
Dreamy
It really sucks right now if you don't recognize that mailbox as the leg lamp—an iconic lamp from a 1983 movie A Christmas Story. If this is your first time seeing the leg lamp then you don't know where phrases like "double dog dare" and "you'll shoot your eye out" originate—you're missing out. I'm not even sure how to properly follow that image.
England
How's that for a wtf moment? My buddy in England sent me that—a Morrison's super market social distancing monitor in West Yorkshire. He lives in England but he's Irish so although he's P/C programmed like a Brit, he takes direction while asking the attendant to pose for the camera. Brit's won't do that—they just take direction.
Not that there's anything wrong with P/C! I'm just a culturally bred American from Los Angeles where social distancing monitor's won't fly, like asking a cop for driving directions. Like asking a cop for anything actually. There's things you can do in LA you can't do in England and vice versa. A few examples, shall we?
What I meant by 'wing the rest'
Two common responses to two common questions asked in both England and Los Angeles:
Excuse me, what time does the bus arrive?
England: You'll be assisted by people you've never met, they genuinely appreciate your company. They're pointing and explaining the bus schedule to you, downloading apps to your phone while showing you alternate times and routes. They won't leave until you fully understand the bus schedule and don't be surprised when they bring you a cup of coffee.
Los Angeles: "Do I look like a fuckin clock to you asshole?!"
Excuse me, are you familiar with the area? We're looking for a good curry or maybe some Thai food.
England: Before you get to the part about curry, you'll know their family heritage and when/where their ancestors settled. By the time they tell you their favorite curry and Thai restaurants in the area, you've already exchanged phone numbers and they offered to pick you and your wife up tomorrow, treat you to supper, and tour you around the countryside.
Los Angeles: "Do I look like a fuckin clock to you asshole?!"
Another example—the #blm protests. In LA, there's helicopters, tier gas, German Shepherds and riot police in swat gear. In England, not so much. I snapped this picture of a protest on the corner of Water Road in Todmorden city center at the beginning of the year.
"Down with this sort of thing!"
I miss England. Europeans in general, as well as Asians, are a really hospitable and welcoming culture compared to Americans but Brit's set the bar. Good luck paying for soopah ('supper' with an English accent) in England!
In America, we call it 'Dutch.' Don't ask me why. Splitting the tab is normal in America, it's common for a server to ask "separate checks?" Listen up, my fellow Americans in attendance—in Europe, the Middle East, and the UK, they call that 'the American way.' Dutch call it 'the American way' too. The only way to pay a tab over there is arrive at the restaurant first—turns to a game.
Pura and I would show up 30 and 40 minutes early just to get the tab and we were only successful once. When they've refused to allow you to purchase a meal three or four straight outings, you get creative.
Arrive before them! Give the manager a couple hundred bucks to cover the tab—it's the only way
Your soopah company will get pissed (it's part of the game) when they learn the check's been paid and they'll insist the server return your money but stand your ground—stay strong! Both them and the server will try to convince you to accept your money back. This may be your only opportunity to buy dinner and you're almost done—stay strong!
Stand Your Ground
I love that picture. The lady posing in the image above, the one standing on the wrong side of the clearly identified line, her. She was just telling a gentleman less than 10 seconds ago which side of the line to properly stand—shit show.
"Can't you see the tape? Hello!" In her cranky old, crotchety, Dr. Phil watching, crybaby snitch voice, "you're standing too close to the register, sir!!"
"I know exactly where I'm standing, lady. Same place you're standing—my business! Now stand in your own business would'ya!"
It was fantastic! They went back and forth a few times. It was just the two of them, the attendant and myself—front row to free entertainment at the convenience store. As soon as he finished and paid, they gave each other a you don't know shit look, he walked out the door and she stepped over the line to conduct business at the register.
Can't Make This Stuff Up
That's the train station parking lot in Todmorden, England. Kind, welcoming, between Brit's and Greeks, it's a tough call. Both cultures go above and beyond common hospitality when introduced to a foreigner. As far as I know, however, Brits are the only culture to own/operate the politically correct automobiles described above.
Still wingin it—still goin. Times like this I like to reread my content from the beginning and remind myself how we got here. It was the leg lamp mailbox that did this! For those curious whether or not it lights up at night, of course it does. It wouldn't be a leg lamp mailbox if it didn't, it would just be a lampshade on top of a leg mailbox.
¿Really?
It was the smoothest transition I could think of
When we went to California a few months ago, I made a few stops around the neighborhood. It was election season around the country. How many people were involved in the manufacturing of that sign you think? I'm assuming someone running for school district office is named Black and Black's opponent posted that sign.
You also got the person who designed it. The print shop who produced it. All the little hands out there driving around strategically placing it where more eyes see it. All those people involved with the same sign and not one time did someone suggest an alternate way of saying Vote No Black School District in....
Like working an underground converter station at Twin Towers—government facility in downtown Los Angeles. You're working for the city so you know all the requests, approvals, hurry up and waiting required to properly spray paint nomenclature on a pothead.
Station operator formally submits a request.
The request makes its way through management and passes across several high priority desks before reaching final approval.
Approved—signed, sealed, delivered.
An email with detailed instructions and transaction identification is forwarded to the sign department.
Received.
Government Ped. A
(Ped. - "Pedler") The computer engineer on the receiving end at the sign shop transfers the instructions to a wall monitor and a stencil is designed, double-checked, sized accurately, 3D printed and ready for field use.
Stencil's sent out to the field engineer who, upon personally approving the custom stencil, coordinates a time between station operations and the painting crew. Government Ped. A line needs de-energized and grounded so the painter can enter the station safely and paint the nomenclature on the pothead.
Switching complete. System grounded.
Painter receives authority to enter station before meeting his electrical safety observer whose only job is to keep the painter from potentially hurting himself on energized equipment while inside the station.
Station operator hands stencil to the electrical safety observer who then passes the stencil to the painter.
Painter's in position. Stencil's in position. A few touches of white spray paint and about a month of bureaucracy later—Government Ped. A is identified.
Painter leaves the station. Safety observer signs out, bullshits with security for a minute on his way out the gate and the operator energizes Government Ped. A.
Control Center's notified the system's in service and Government Ped. A is back online.
All those hands. All those notes, desks and computer screens with who knows how many eyes staring at that stencil. Everything from the original request form to the painter himself, all government employees, and nobody mentioned government has two N's in it.
Awtokrect
That’s a nice Leg Lamp mail box and a smooth led splice on that switch. I see it says “Ped. A” or “Ped. B” So that is a goverment Ped A or B but not a Ped O??? 🤔🤔
That led work is probably 80 years old too.
I never located Ped. O. I never looked and now that you mention it, I should've paid closer attention—woulda made a good or terrible comedy piece.
Thanks for reblogging this one @splatts.
Ya dude, I used to run into those in downtown Fresno. I actually have a led straight splice at the shop that I got from under the Fresno County courthouse. When I left Fresno I remember there only being 2 guys in the area that could led splice. I was able to be taught by one guy to do a led to plastic splice. Basically led to brand new cable transition splice. It took forever to just do one. What a cool experience.
They called in medium voltage in my world, those parallel 500's in a plastic coated flex, seen it? Man, one of those splices takes half a day.
What the heck do you wireman call high voltage then. LOL. I Remember removing some old cable that had all 3 phases in one piece of cable. I was 3-250kcmil copper separated by paper soaked in PCB oil, then a led shield around that, then this weird tape stuff that acted like an outer jacked. I had to snatch up a piece of that too. I will have to take a couple photos and send them to you when I go to the shop.
I know exactly what you're talking about. That paper jacket. Then the ones with the semi-con and the splice material for it.
Yeah man, it changed depending whether or not I was in the utility local or an inside local. Inside, anything over 240 is high voltage.
In that particular utility local, 24 and under was low voltage, 25-12.5kv was medium voltage and everything over that is high.
They got really odd politics too that I never grew accustomed to. Their own training program, civil service code of ethics—the whole 9.
'Tier' gas...??? Was that a test to see if I read at least that far...?!?!?!?
OR
Some sort of play on words that I failed to grasp Mr. @dandays ? Abstract humor?
OR
Tired eyes? Like mine are right now, from steering at a cornputer screem for far too long?
I don't know...??? In any case; HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and the lovely Pura😎
You passed.
Good morning @angryman, Happy New year sir.
Let me know if I need to adjust any typos, I've been looking at this screen for way too long.
#gover.
Don't 'adjust' ANY typos, my friend... it's all good, "Just the Way you Are" Fa-la-la-la-lah... La-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...
MERRY NEW YEAR
Leg Lamp, a first for me. Now I know the phrase, double dog dare, a favorite back in the day. If someone double dog dared you, you had no other choice but to take the dare. Foolishness abounds when you are in your formative years.
Last year during our travels, on occasions we would have to request some assistance with directions from a stranger. Before poosing the question to a stranger, we would spend several minutes sizeing up different people, wondering which ones would tell us to go f--k our selves and which ones might be somewhat civil.
On two different occasions we thought that the person we had asked for help was geniunely concerned with our demise, but in both instances, they directed us in the totally wrong direction. I guess that was how they got their rocks off.
That's is one of the things that we love about living where we do, people are always ready to lend a hand. Last winter I ended up sliding into a ditch and being that I was about three miles from home, with no phone service, on a lightly traveled road, in the dark, I figured it would be a long walk home. Before I got 100yds from my truck, a guy came by, which was a miracle in itself. He told me to stay put and he would return with his tractor to pull me out. Within 20 minutes he returned and had me back on the road again.
Maybe he was originally from England or Greece?
The, vote no black, sign is another indication of just how out of touch people really are.
If that sign was placed in the wrong neighborhood, buildings and cars would have been set ablaze.
As always, your sense of humor is entertaining!
I'm shocked you've never seen it! Man you should consider changing that immediately, as in tonight. It's a classic. "I can't move my arms!" That's another classic line when Ralphie's little brother is so motherly bundled up, he couldn't move. He falls down outside, can't get up, old movie but apparently made an impression on me.
Well I'd like to personally thank those two people who sent you in the wrong direction otherwise we wouldn't be able to talk about it now. "Thanks, assholes!"
You know it's stuck when you need tractor assistance. Man what a ride that must've been! What happened? How'd you end up in a ditch? Was it a turn or what? Did the truck sustain any damage?
That sign.. I can't believe nobody said anything.
I swear even if this platform collapsed dude, I'd still fire these off to you and farm-mom at random times, roughly twice a week I guess is what I typically do, cuz I enjoy putting them together and I wouldn't enjoy it if genuine people like yourselves didn't appreciate it.
The pleasure's all mine @thebigsweed. Thank you for the reblog.
Will have to check out the movie for sure!
The ditch thing was in the winter with snow on the roads. There is a short cut that knocks off about two miles from the general store back to the house. Headed downhill and around a sharp turn the truck decided it didn't want to go where I wanted it to go.
It all happened in slow motion, I was only traveling 10mph, and as I'm sliding towards the gully, I said to myself, you knew you should have taken the long road home.
Appreciate it is an understatement, we thoroughly enjoy most, all of what you share. 😁. They don't have that crossout thing on replies hay, or otherwise I would have crossedout all. 😁
Nice
Lewvlay! (English for "lovely")
Hey, @dandays.
Sounds to me like you know where you would like to live. Or at least hang out most of the year. :)
Haven't made it across the Atlantic yet. High up on my wife's bucket list is a tour of European castles, though, so maybe will make it over there once they're through with their Pandemic restrictions experiment and research.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm also getting that there can't be enough variations of leg lamps. Still need to get around to watching A Christmas Story. You know, find out what all the hype is about. :)
re: goverment
Hunh. Sure it's not govmint?
Maybe they actually recognizing that governing isn't so much what those in power want to do as it is control every aspect of your life, and that's what "gover" means?
Furiously looks up gover on the internet. English surname. Means "one who goes gently or quietly." Aha! Just what they would like us to do!
Yeah, that LA police officer bit. You've mentioned them before. Not cool. I know some (one lives next door). Maybe it's different when they're the neighbor?
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Seems I'm a little lopsided in the Upvote department. Thanks for the heads up @hivebuzz. 👍🏿
You're welcome @dandays, thank you for your participation on this platform!
I am in the camp that can't stand that movie, but I can appreciate it for the cultural icon that it is. 😂 So the mailbox is pretty bad@$$.
You're really not making me sad I've never visited California...
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Well if it isn't my favorite Plankster, good morning @plantstoplanks.
"I can't move my arms!" Another classic line from A Christmas Story.
The weather, that's IT! You'll never hear me complain about Ca weather. But the longer I'm away, the more I can say with certainty that's IT!
What a mess
Ahh shoot, totally missed the niceties there this morning. Where are my manners? 😜 A very good morning to you and Pura, as well.
So hard to tell these days with lockdown restrictions varying from one street corner to the next. They gotta be around here somewhere, I'm sure they'll turn up, it's early. You probably set'em down somewhere before bed.
This time of year I'm lucky if I know which way is up. The last week of the year always seems like time has warped as it equally flies by but then also seems to drag on. Just me?
I don't know if it's time or what, but something's definitely warped.
Christmas already seems like forever ago. And I almost just asked you if you and Dave are doing anything this weekend thinking today was Saturday.
That's why I love your writing so much. It was perfect...
@edprivat if you're gonna boost my confidence with compliments like that, you really need to stop by more often.
I saw you posted one, I'm headed there next.
Im gonna get that confidence on steroid!
I thought drawing was your craft, but it's obvious now that you are meant to write. Just keep up the good work, very inspiring
That, that's what I'm talking about. You go right ahead and keep'em comin.
Saw your other message, good call with that song. 👍🏿
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