It was meant to be our first trip away together in four years, yet instead of traveling to Copenhagen to see Ricky Gervais live (my Christmas present), I will likely be catching up on work, while simultaneously cutting back my hours for percentage furlough. I am yet to learn the deal, as the meeting with my supervisor is in about 30 minutes.
This picture is from a trip we did to Copenhagen back in 2013, which feels like a very long time ago with so much happening between. It wasn't long after this I started my business, we bought our first apartment together, my wife took a job in another city, our daughter was born and then - all travel ended for us - and it has been a lot of "survival mode".
While I know she still loves me, I also know that over the last few years, we haven't spent nearly as much time together being a couple as we should - it has all been rushed, work, hospitals - life. It is a common predicament I believe, but perhaps it is actually not and other couples cope with it all in a much more effective way than us. It feels like we do okay under the cards we have been dealt, but it is hard as we never can know the hands that others hold.
Speaking of holding, for the last three years I have been writing life as I see it out onto the blockchains as a way to process, but also a potential pathway to creating the space that we can get away. I have been holding all that I have in hope - but hope is not strategy. I do have a strategy of course, but it is so long-term that the feedback and milestones are few and far between - which is why I set myself much closer goals.
My near-term goals are all action related - not result orientated. Write consistently regardless of conditions or outcomes. Work when there is work available. Spend time with family when there is the space. These are daily - and much of it overlaps or ties in together. While I love the writing process, the ability to earn something on it that could have a much higher value later is definitely an incentive, as it gives me the space to work differently and spend more time with family. Different work is the end goal - not no work. Work that is family inclusive would be ideal.
One of the great things about having all of the renovation work ahead is that it is something that my wife and I must do together, at least in the planning, if not all the execution. It is working as a family to build our home into something the family appreciates and loves - like any relationship - it takes work.
I feel that a lot of the relationship work is forgotten in the younger generations as there is the sense that the relationships are cheap and easy to find. Why fix something up when there is something new around the corner? We have made ourselves disposable. But like a classic car or house, there is value in the investment and long-term relationships offer life experience that short-term likely cannot - a deeper connection to each other, the world and an external reflection of ourselves in another that is only possible through experience spent together.
Tomorrow was a trip away for a couple nights, but there is a lifetime ahead and most of life is not a holiday - it is the daily grind, the chores that have to be done, the maintenance of what one owns. If you can't be happy together in the grind, the long-term relationship is likely built on shaky ground.
Taraz
[ 1st generation Hive ]
Always remember, in the tricky meetings, there is always the option of killing your boss and wearing his/her skin and telling everyone you have promoted taraz for his fine work.
This almost happened! In another dimension.
many couples are doing like that. They never did lovey dovey things because they're focus in something. But if they're not doing like that all the time. It doesn't mean they don't love each other. They just thought that there were things need to prioritise for now. After it, it's about their love life when everything is settled.
But travelling with you love one's is an amazing feeling.
It isn't just the lovey dovey stuff, but there has to be a level of intimacy (beyond physical), and that takes time to develop, especially if it is going to last. I love travelling with her and it is going to be interesting when we finally get to try as a family :)
Well put. Love this !
I am surprised @meesterboom didn't focus in on the "grind" part :D
I was more about the death of a Boss man. I can almost see the film now. Yakuza style mayhem as you prowl about the corridors of power taking em all DOWN! :OD
Taraz Wick
Yes indeed!
There's probably at least some people like that but I don't think that's necessarily the case in general, I think it's more that people who don't want long term relationships are able to go out and do their thing without as much societal pressure to conform and settle down. And with the younger kids (high schoolers and straight-out-of-school tertiary students) well they're relationships tend to be like fireworks anyway XD
I have a lot of people around in the 16-30 range, and most don't want long-term relationships - those who are in "relationships" don't seem to have much of a commitment to them. Perhaps is is just the scandinavian lifestyle ;D
I've noticed this too with the yout... if it gets hard it seems easy for them to move on.. I go with the diamond theory.. let the pressure crush that carbon into the hardest thing imaginable!
Honestly though, sounds like you got it worked out..
The "diamond theory" - I like it!
adversity creates strength!
😉