Since the year is about to end, I lately have the habit of checking up who I used to be. Thanks to blockchain, I get to read everything about me in the past vs the present me.
From what I gather, these days, I don’t get to say I enjoyed sipping coffee in the morning, waking up to some form of a routine, enjoying the weather, speaking gratitude and writing it. In a nutshell, my life was way more “zen” than it is today. But I kinda like some aspects of my current life.
These days, the moment I wake up and the moment I go to bed, there’s always something to work on. Now, I don’t even make my coffee anymore. I always rely on Starbucks because it's convenient and the place that they offer is way better than working inside my room. It's as if I suddenly associate my room as some sort of living hell in comparison to before when it was my safe haven.
I feel that these days, I don’t have the freedom as I used to, to speak freely, to ramble, to just let me write something or what I think about our current political climate and what have you. Maybe these days I just choose to discuss it discreetly instead of openly.
Another thing that changed this year and the previous year that made me so grateful is that I was someone who
used to only spend 25$/month all inclusive. I had an old phone, no proper internet, not even a tablet, no investment, nothing. If I bought some unnecessary shit, definitely, I would be starving for the next several days. Back in the day, not eating was something easy.Rambling day 6
To today, I have almost everything I wanted including a business and some side hustles. Another thing that I notice is that instead of saying I wanted to die from the last couple of years, I want to live.
Perhaps, that’s the turning point that changed everything in my life. From someone who used to get near-death accidents each year to someone who is thriving and living somewhat healthy. Now, you can say, I am not that suicidal anymore and I have more reason to be living these days.
I started crossing my bucket lists and there’s some of them that I haven’t managed to get this year. Maybe soon, the following year.
So maybe it’s not the same. I am not the same. I am happier and I feel better about myself, my living condition, and the people around me. I now have the courage to do more, to face the things that life may throw at me for I have been in the deepest and darkest moments of my life.
~ Mac
That’s wonderful! I’m glad that you seem to be out of the dark funk that we sometimes find ourselves in. Being able to do things for ourselves is important and certainly can help get us up and out of those dark times!
Keep up the awesome work and keep on living! Fuck the naysayers!
Fuck the naysayers for sure! Though I got into some more problems recently, I am just better at managing it. I guess, you know that's life. As you age, you just get better at managing the struggles.
Some get better, like you! I know some unfortunate people who don’t get better or get worse at it hahaha. I would like to think I’m getting better at the struggles but don’t want to jinx that :D
Wow! I do remember those days of your life... I mean the posts you used to post were dark at that moment. But now, it seems like like has its’ good days for you. And honestly I’m very happy for you dear. 🙂💚
Thank god things have turned out well for your...
See, you remembered it. Those days were dark. It's not that I don't have problems these days but let's say I am better at managing and accepting it. We only live once !
It’s awesome to see you thrive dear... keep it up! 💚🙂
In the west, we call those moments of deep existential angst, the dark night of the soul. We all go through them to some degree, then we come out with the realization that life is too short and too precious to waste. 🙏
This is the exact dream I had yesterday. In my dream, there was someone who asked me, what would you do if you know your life is going to be short? and I answered, I am going to make the best of it.
I'm glad you pass that stage of your life! Hoping that could pass that too, and proudly say I wanna live just like you do. I just wanna say that it's okay if your habits are changing. Some things are really meant to change, hehe. 🤍🤍🤍
You will get there! as we grow up and seeing more shit, we'll realize we get better at managing the struggles. I hope you can happily say you choose to live because everything that you wanted, will slowly find its way.
Can't really wait for that moment. Hoping it'll be soon. Thank you so much for the encouragement! 🤍
This makes me feel immeasurably happy 🤗 May next year be even better xx
It's been a long way; at least it feels like it. I hope next year will be even better for you 😊 as well, xx much love and hugs!
It nice to take these assessments, it helps to self improvement, as you realise the difference, you can adjust what needs to be adjusted. I'm glad you are happy and you feel better! A better next year hopefully my friend. !PIZZA !LUV
Right back at ya! hopefully it'll be better for you next year also.
You're still going to be alright and going to try your best next year to be a greater potato.
Add to your bucket list, visit the Philippines and go diving.
hahaha It's on the list for so long, since high school even. I just crossed 2 countries and more to go. I just kinda hope the border is open and it's easier to travel around.
the last time we met, i have never see any sign you are in this position. You are so lively back then.
or you already started to get pass this stage?
at least you have already see better things now Cem, keep it up.
The reason I went on a long travel before, including to Bali was that I wanted to be happy or happier as I used to. I was distracted for a while when I was in Bali but once I went back, it got worse each day. Then pandemic happens and some other shit happening. Now, maybe I am just better at managing things.
at least you are on a better stage now. let the past be your teacher and guidance to your future.
keep on fighting and keep on going cem. You have done much better than my self
I don't know if I am doing better or worse but like you said, the past is a good teacher!
Yhat is right you should be happy always boss
yep
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