Yesterday my mom, who is living in The Netherlands, asked my twin sister and I, who live in Portugal, a fascinating vaccinating question. This took place in the family Whtspp group, that also includes our father, brother and sister, who are all living in The Netherlands.
To be more precise, my mom asked how the ( needle ) 'pricking' was going in Portugal.
Both my twin sister and I, at the same time, made a word joke.
My sister replied that all hedgehogs had been taken care of and that the mosquitoes would be next up. I replied that there were few mosquitoes so far this Spring.
Apparently my mom wanted a more serious answer and we weren't willing to give this, as our stances - and living situations - are very different these days and even more so, since last year. Let's say that we didn't leave The Netherlands without a reason, in the Spring of 2018. We have a very different view on the virus and the measures taken by governments worldwide and are aware of each other's point of view as it's pretty hard to hide it.
Also, my twin sister and I live far from the city / big cities, pretty much in the middle of nature.
A little later, my father hopped in with one little remark that made me feel pretty crappy.
It was something along the line of:
If you two don't get vaccinated, I can't see you.
This remark stuck with me for a while and made me feel pretty bad without knowing why exactly.
A little later, my brother reached out to me, one on one, to ask me what is was about the vaccines that makes me distrust them.
My Ego wanted to start head butting, by telling me that my brother just wanted to start an argument and win it ( something he's pretty good at ), talk me into getting vaccinated but I decided to ignore my Ego and trust that he was merely curious, wanted to understand me better.
It's fair to say that, since the virus took over the world ( especially figuratively ), there has been a lot of tension in our family and a lot of head butting. Up till yesterday, I couldn't feel but get annoyed, frustrated, angry, sad whenever the subject came up in our family app.
The text chat I had with my brother, yesterday, actually took away a lot of that tension. I replied to him, he came with his reasoning. We didn't just ignore what the other said but also tried to find points of agreement and mainly made an attempt to understand the other person.
In short, we didn't butt heads like prehistoric animals.
At the end of the conversation, both of us agreed that it had been good to chat about this and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't say the same about my parents though. I feel I might need to have a conversation with them about this one day soon ( perhaps after my mom has read this blog post ), to clear the air. There's still a lot of tension.
It's not like I don't want to see them, it has been almost a year and that is longer than ever before, but, as long as they expect me to get a vaccine first, it won't happen.
As I told my brother, I'm not an anti-vaxxer ( and I won't stop people from getting it ) but I am not a proponent of a vaccine that has been developed this rapidly, with no idea what the long term consequences are going to be for those that take it, a vaccine that is more or less forced onto us, if we want to maintain or retrieve our freedom ( whatever that means these days ).
All of this makes the REBEL inside of me extremely rebellious and wonder what happened to all those who used to be rebels in the past.
I am a family person and before the world changed so drastically, I had a pretty good relationship with all my siblings and my parents. I'm not saying that it's bad now. Far from that. But, it's fair to say, that the gap was growing and the same goes for the gap between me and some people that I've been friends with for a long, long time.
It's interesting that, when "The Thing" first hit, early last year, it seemed like we were all becoming more united ( we were all going through more or less the same ) but, since then, different camps started to form and there isn't really a middle way, it seems, nor is there a way back.
Nevertheless, I told my brother, several times, yesterday, that I feel that the truth is always to be found somewhere in the middle ( let's say between extreme conspiracy theories and the picture that the media paints us ).
Being a very sensitive person, it's clear to me that both extremes feel bad ( doesn't extreme always feel bad? ). Also, we all create our own truth and the only way to stay sane in times of extreme fear, is to focus on the positives, as much as we can.
I could make this a way longer post, but I mainly wanted to point out the importance of honest communication, the opposite of butting heads.
What about you? Have you felt an increasing gap between you and your family or friends ( from the past ) since "The Thing" took over the world? How are you communicating about this difficult topic with those close to you? Is it possible to not butt heads?
Much love from Portugal,
Hypersensitivosaurus ( sometimes knows as Vincent Nijman )
Still in the process of leveling up toward SuperZENsitivosaurus
The dino picture above this write up was drawn by me yesterday and colored today with water color. I am the raptor on the left, my brother is the triceratops but, in all honesty, it could be any one, even you and one of your family members or two people on the block chain butting heads.
The level of fear often precludes dialogue, and most people don't realize that they're acting on the unconscious prompts of that fear, that there's no rational sustenance for their opinions about the current crisis and that it's pointless to have those opinions thrust on others.
The whole virus-lockdown-isolation-vaccine response is entirely a male narrative and originates from a far deeper well of ambition, doubt and dread than we see on the surface. I never cared to give it any energy and moreso even after dealing with the virus myself.
It's awesome that you could find common ground with your brother. As for your parents, they'll come around eventually, but there's a lot of soul-searching that needs to happen, which has nothing to do with viruses or vaccines, and it can only be done individually. Hope you clear that up on your own terms soon enough. Un fuerte abrazo!
Thank you for your thorough, wise and understanding reply, as per usual, Javier. Un abrazo!
I have thought about it many times, you can't imagine the long discussions I have had with family and friends about these issues. That I get to the point of not touching them and just go on my way.
I'm very sorry that there is such a gap, I think that's what we feel when we only focus on a single topic. For example, my brother and I are very different on political issues, we have argued a lot and even raised our voices. That, in spite of those heavy discussions (bad energies) did not let us drift apart, we feel that simply each one thinks as he/she wants and believes what he/she wants, without hurting the other. But, we still have our differences on these issues.
I haven't been vaccinated yet, but I want to. And yet, I have never attacked or contradicted anyone who is against, not vaccines (because anti-vaccines are extreme and I don't touch those topics with them), I talk about those who distrust these vaccines that were born yesterday for today, so, understanding your doubts, feeling that same doubt as you, I still want to get vaccinated.
Because I think that this is not going to make me anyone's enemy and that no one is my enemy for not getting vaccinated, I never like extremes, it is harmful and toxic to want the other to think like you. And I confess that I used to be this kind of person, I was an immature person in my past, but life is about learning while I live it and I learned. Like you, like many people I have the pleasure of knowing at HIVE. We grow up, we mature, we understand things that we didn't understand before, but we still have our doubts and everything must be questioned, we must not stop doubting.
Thank you for sharing part of your life with us, it is a beautiful gesture on your part and I wish all the good to your life, always. ♥
Thanks for your thoughtful reply, Johnny and for sharing your personal story.
My believe is that we should do what feels right, follow our gut feeling / heart and make our own decisions, based on love, not on fear. I feel that many people make their decisions based on fear, these days.
I love this post a lot. Hi Vincent's Mum, if you are reading this. I can imagine the 'pricking' joke must have been frustrating for you, but it was pretty funny.
I am in your camp, Vin. I think it's the Libran twin thing we have going on. I am in neither camp, but feel rebellious when people tell me what to do. Not that it gets me anywhere either. I think I'll get the vaccine, I'm not that worried about it to be honest. I just want the world to open up, and whilst it sucks we're being forced to take something for that to happen, I can't see any other way. I totally get people who don't want to take it, as I dont want to either.
I think it's crazy that people are either 'if you get the vax, I can't see you' or 'if you don't get the vax, I can't see you'. It's divisive indeed, and threatening. I dont think it's their fault, it's just this crazy Thing that the world is moving through.
I reckon there are a lot of family whatsapp these days, having the same conversation in varying forms.
I knew you, as a fellow intuitive Libra would be able to enjoy the joke and understand my point of view.
I thought my entire family always felt like this but things have changed. I will see how much of my freedom I lose if I don't get vaccinated and will decide later on.
No doubt about that. It's the kind of theme - especially after going on for 15 months or so - that makes one want to leave Whatsapp entirely. I felt that, again, today.
Big hug!
Sorry to hear your family feels that way. I still don’t understand...if he gets backed why do you need to in order to meet??? What’s the logic here?
My family has actually started to see things more my way which is not so different from your way. The truth lies in between somewhere. I think you have a very moderate take on this but moderate seems to be radical these days.
Japan on the other hand, I’m not sure how they feel. It feels pretty split in the middle but people don’t express it very openly so the conversation tends to go towards whichever opinion is expressed first.
I still don’t deal much with
Exactly that.
I replied to him with:
And, after a remark by my 'Dutch' sister, where she pointed out the restricted life of my parents, since the start of all this, I added:
And, as you just wrote:
"moderate seems to be radical these days"
It sure seems like it.
I appreciate you passing by and joining in on the conversation. Interesting to hear that your family, back in The USA, is slowly becoming more like-minded ( concerning this topic ) and, what Japan concerns, this doesn't surprise me at all.
'moderate seems to be radical these days' - oh yeah, I'm with you there!
I'm sorry to read this Vincent, I know this is more or less the situation with your family.
I have found out, from my mom, that one of my brothers has a very different view on this whole pandemic. But I'm not surprised since we are not in contact anyway. I know he thinks I'm very irresponsible. My mom is more relaxed, even though she is vaccinated. She doesn't tell me to get vaccinated though, she knows that will not happen. I'm welcomed there anyway.
But just out of curiosity, if your parents are vaccinated then it should be 'safe' for them to see you, right?
Let's try and catch up soon.
xx
Thank you for your understanding :<)
Nice to hear about your mom's stance, especially knowing how close the two of you are these days.
That is exactly what I feel. It's safe to see people who aren't vaccinated, if you have been vaccinated yourself. That is, unless you wouldn't believe in the ( effect of the ) vaccine. In that case, why would you even get it?
Exactly 🙂
Great discussion to see you had with your family! It’s sad that these things are being pushed so hard on people, didn’t we grow up to not give into peer pressure? Lol. I like your approach and it’s nobody’s business or decision except oneself to make it and I don’t think a single person has the right to ever question that, regardless of the situation.
I appreciate your comment, as always :>)
Reveal spoiler
It’s sad that these things are being pushed so hard on people, didn’t we grow up to not give into peer pressure?
It seems like people have suddenly forgotten all their principles. Nowadays we see even our own blood / family as a threat to our health. It's as if the world became a dangerous place over night, after having been safe up till then.
I don't know what happened to people's psyche but, at the same time, we all know that throwing our televisions ( if we still owe one ) out of the window is the one and only cure ;<)
I was saying to hubs last night that the TV is the cure too.
I dreamt of destroying a TV, throwing it on the floor and breaking it, days ago.
Big raptor or tiny triceratops? XD Either way raptor is gonna have a sore noggin x_x
Sounds like everyone is now being subjected to the nonsense that parents subject themselves and each other to (vaccination is a seriously contentious issue). Done this one to death already and still don't feel like doing it again -_-
Things have been fine with my family but we're the sorts that generally ask for or offer advice where applicable rather than telling each other what should be done.
The triceratops is slightly bigger. My brother is about an inch or an inch and a half taller than I am.
Great to read this.
From memory velociraptors are slightly bigger than turkeys and triceratops were a bit bigger than cars hence my confusion XD
haha! I know. Interesting to hear that your memory goes back to the prehistoric though ;<)
It goes all sorts of places, I have on several occasions wondered which ones are actually mine XD
In Austria you don't have to get vaccinated but rules are the same for all, in order to live a "normal" life you have to be tested or healed or vaccinated. All of these 3 work for everyday situations.
I am ok with getting the shots since I am healthy and I have to travel a lot and continous testing fucks up my nose :D
Also it is very time consuming. I will tell you about long term effects if any will occur...
wish me luck :)
I will wish you luck indeed and understand your reasoning behind getting the shots. And talking about the nose thing, that's a sensitive issue for me as I have had hundreds of heavy nose bleeds as a kid and sticking stuff in my nose reminds me of those days.
Yeah at some test stations they really ram that thing in, till you feel it in your brain. Whatever it is and will be a shitty situation for quite a while.
I nearly missed this.
I find the comment from your father about not seeing you unless you've had the vaccine odd. Even Fauci himself has said it won't stop from getting the virus, merely reduce symptoms, so it's not like you having it would protect him, only (hopefully) him getting it himself will reduce his risk of bad symptoms.
My relationships with family and friends hasn't changed, although I believe my sister and mother's has developed some tension, because my mum kept sending my sister a lot of what she'd term conspiracy things. With my sister being in the UK I think she felt like my mum had no real comprehension of the circumstances over there.
Interesting to read that there's mums who don't take mainstream media for granted either. Not that that really surprises me. Yeah, it's so very different per country and I can only imagine how much of a gap there can be between continents.
The latter is the main thing, as my dad is a lung patient, since 2018 and a heart patient since 2009. Especially his 2018 diagnosis, when I was in Portugal for mere months, has been a pretty huge wake up call for him, to go live a healthier life.
Trump himself could tell you with hands as small as that of T-rex, you're unlikely to win any major argument. Sorry, I'm always looking for humor, I know your pain. My own parents didn't come to visit me during the 10 years I lived in Cambodia. After sacrificing years of savings and time away from life's goals, our only aim is to introduce my Cambodian family to my American family, and spend a few weeks there.
Because of there lack of desire to see me and my family, it means we must go to them, something exponentially harder for us to do than for them to meet us. My father said recently that I brought all this hardship on myself, and I should've just stayed in the USA and not left for a better life abroad in 2010.
As the Fresh Prince of Bel Air said so wisely, sometimes "parents just don't understand."
@NaturalMedicine supports wellness of body, mind, soul and earth on HIVE.
Come say hi via Lotus Chat or drop by our Hive Community - we'd love to have you!