Znakomaya rasskazala.

in #introduceyourself5 years ago

Tverskom sude znakomyy obzhaluyet shtraf za neuplatu parkovki rubley.

Sud'ya I vam ne nadoyelo obzhalovat' shtrafy. Tut odin muzhik khodit, obzhaluyet shtraf rubley, delo zaputannoye pipets, ya uzhe gotova yemu rubley dat', lish' by on otstal.

Gulyal segodnya po Nevskomu.
Podbezhali dve molodyye smuglyye devchonki odna v suvenirnoy armeyskoy plyushevoy shapke, vtoraya v sharfe.

Smeyalis', boltali neponyatno, bla-bla-bla-selfi. Selfanulis' so mnoy po pare raz.
Prizhimalis' bol'shimi myagkimi sis'kami. S fan-aydishkami, bolel'shchitsy zhe, aga.

S*izdili iz karmana poltory tysyachi.

Dumayu, nikakiye eto byli ne kosta-richanki. Obychnyye tsyganki maskirovku i vorovstvo prokachivayut...

Drugu syna na leto bylo dano zadaniye po biologii: pronablyudat' za zhizn'yu soyki i pauka i napisat' nauchnyy otchet. Moy syn reshil pomoch' drugu. Nizhe privozhu rezul'tat etoy pomoshchi (stil' i grammatika originala sokhraneny):
DESYAT' DNEY IZ ZHIZNI PAUKA
Poymal zdorovuyu mukhu, nachal sosat'. Kakaya-to pauchikha popytalas' zakhvatit' gnezdo, prishlos' skinut' vniz. Nikogda ne zhenyus'.
Mukha vysosana. Poshel progulyat'sya po listu, vstretil konkurenta. Podralsya, prognal.

Kakoy-to chukh zasadil v banku: yele vypolz cherez dyrku v kryshke. Zapolz v gnezdo, prospal 3 dnya. Nabrosilas' yashcheritsa, zapolz pod kamen'. Noch'yu vernulsya v gnezdo.

Poymal skolopendru, no vo vremya yedy chut' ne skleval vorobey, koye-kak upolz v gnezdo. Vetrom sneslo v ruchey, chut' ne utonul, vybralsya na bereg.

Sizhu v salone, zhdu, kogda osvoboditsya moy master, naprotiv, - vidimo kholostoy muzhchina s synom (let 5), iz serii «shilo v odnom meste».
Rebetonok, pokazyvaya na menya pal'chikom, «tikhon'ko» tak, na ves' salon.

Krasnyy kak rak papa. Misha, nel'zya tak govorit', ne tykay pal'tsem, pomolchi, ne pozor'sya.
Misha, ne obrashchaya vnimaniye na papu, u kotorogo dazhe pyatki, navernoye, pokrasneli. Nu, paaapa, nu srazu zhe vidno, chto totya khoroshaya. A seychas yeyo nastrigut i ona voobshche budet krasivaya… kak pterodaktil'! Nu ty khotya by mul'tiki yeyo pozovi posmotret'.

syh5i.jpg

Bednyy papa otkuda-to iz-pod kresla ob"yasnil mne, chto rebonok pomeshan na dinozavrakh, i «krasivaya, kak pterodaktil'» — eto kompliment.
Kakoye zhenskoye serdtse ne rastayet ot takoy galantnosti. Prishlos' posle strizhki idti s papoy Igorem i synom Mishey v kino, smotret' mul'tik.
A v salone s tekh por vse mastera, vklyuchaya manikyur i pedikyur, sprashivayut, sdelat' li menya krasivoy, «kak pterodaktil'»…

Pap, a pap, smotri kakaya totya! Eta… Kak yeyo… Nu kak ty lyubish'… Nu blondinka s chornymi volosami… I nogi u neyo normal'nyye! I ushi! Davay ty na ney pozhenish'sya!

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Hi @jerdtys
Nice to see you on steem :)
God luck and have fun over here :)

If you want to come and see my blog - feel free to follow me - I take photos, a lot of.
i will follow You and see what you got here to :)

Welcome to steemit @jerdtys.

Welcome the new steemians. Have a great day!

Hi @jerdtys
Welcome to Steemit

As a follower of @haccolong this post has been upvoted by @hoaithu's Curation Trail.
This is free upvote first when you follow @haccolong

To earn more rewards with your Steemit account. Check through some of the ways at this post.

I will continue with random upvotes in the future & wish you lots of luck. :)

cry_e.gif

🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

Why do you downvote good posts?

Serial downvotes, low content, spam account.

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