There's someone in my life that is always late no matter what.
That person is my mother.
I love her dearly but she has always been late everywhere she has gone for her entire life.
When I was in elementary school and we were supposed to be there at 8:00 she would have me there at 8:30.
Was there a recital that I had to go to? You are guaranteed that I would be 45 minutes late.
Dentist or doctor's appointment?
Literally any place, anywhere, any time.
Late.
Fortunately for her, she worked for herself most of her life so it didn't matter if she was late.
Nowadays she is retired and we get together every once in awhile to have lunch.
I always make sure to be 10 minutes later than I say I'm going to be.
Since I work every day, my time is valuable.
People don't change that often and she hasn't either.
Today I found myself staring at my watch.
The time was 2:45 and I had been sitting in my car for 35 minutes with the air conditioning running.
I got up to look around and found her sitting in her car underneath some trees in a distant area not even close to the restaurant we were supposed to meet at.
"Why are you sitting here where you cannot see me and I cannot see you?"
"It's shady over here."
Fair enough....... at least she was here.
Lunch was pretty good too.
How do you deal with someone that's always late?
Follow me @jeezzle
Calculate the person's avg late timing and use that as a guide?
I don't view time quite the same as many people do, but I'll share mys perspective if you'd like. :) I feel that we are all always where we need to be when we need to be there. Those that choose to share time with you obviously value you and dictating when and how they share that time isn't exclusive to either party. I don't promote vindictive behavior, but if you feel it's disrespectful or bothersome to you, then you need to discuss it with her and if your perspectives don't align then maybe it's time she is the one left showing up after you stopped waiting around a few times until they come back into alignment. Just my thoughts.
Well I am a Buddhist and I believe that at least in part..... time is an illusion. However, I cannot deny the fact that there have been times when I have been left waiting.....which is especially bad in the hot Texas weather. She and I have had the talk and the basic decision was that if she's 20 minutes late or more she will buy lunch. I personally would never make a date with someone and be 20 minutes late but then again we are different people.
LOL this coincides with my post from today perfectly. How much is that free lunch worth?
Spending time with my mom is priceless because one day she will be dead and I will never be able to have lunch with her again after that day. That didn't stop me from accepting the free lunch today though even though it was only $5. 40 minutes in the hot sun? Probably worth about $25 to me if I had to pick a number.
It's good to know that they time we share with others is priceless. Keeps priorities in perspective.
I am usually late. This may get improved a little but rather can not change :)
Punctuality is key to success.
I agree.
They probably need to change their diet. If they eat heavy foods full or carbs and sugar them they are going to be sluggish and tired. They should also go to bed early and get up early. If they can't then they aren't motivated and you should probably let them go. Also, if they drink a lot (or do drugs) they should cut down on that in a major way.
I'd say the biggest problem though is they probably aren't motivated. They likely don't see much benefit, so they don't care and they show up when they feel like it.
Her time is important too. Old habits die hard, certain types of people get into habits of being predictably late. I'm late by 10-15 minutes for almost everything, but it is a consistent lateness. It takes a lot to break habits like that.
My advice would be to accept the perceived flaws in other people, like your mother and appreciate the time you do spend together.
You might miss those quirks about her when she is gone.
I can see what you're saying but it is very important to keep agreements. If you and I were to agree to show up at 2 and I show up at 2 but you show up at 2:15 that is simply not fair as I have gone out of my way to take the effort to be on time. Being on time definitely is an effort.
My brother is always late. To deal with this I tell him it starts earlier than it actually does. For example I tell him an event it starts at 2:45 when it actually starts at 3.
That's what I basically do if my mom. I tell her to be somewhere and then I always plan to be later...... or maybe I'll tell her that something is earlier.
oh gosh, I hear you! i had now my ex bf, who would be terrible with time management, once we missed intercontinental flight because of him and had to wait for a next flight for 2 hrs and pay extra $$. He still didn't learn his lesson and confined with bad timing. So instead of moaning, I kept ''managing '' the time, i.e. if we had a dinner reservation for 7pm, Id say its for 6pm and we would be bit earlier as Id wish. Its kind of white lie but we would be on time almost everywhere we had to. Just give your mother ''extra'' time :) it did work for me when I needed. But I know how it feels.
To be honest I think I was extra frustrated today because of roommates and also because of my coins crashing.
This is good... I am a person that hates lateness! I am so serious about it that I tend to show up 30 minutes before the time and then I sit in the car and watch the clock. How do I deal with that?
If I am 5 minutes early, I am 10 minutes late!!!
But it being your Mom who gave you life you gotta just bite the bullet!
Blessings to you!!
My best friend is just like that. Once he got me waiting for like 2 and a half hours due to some suspicious traffic nearby his house. After 5 years of friendship/brotherhood between us, my way to deal with him is to tell him to arrive at least 30 minutes or 45 minutes earlier, and I'll be there like 15 minutes later so that way I don't wait for him (too much)
I have a brother who is always late. When we want him to be on time, we tell him to meet us 30-45 minutes before we plan to arrive. ;-)
My mom is the same. It takes her forever to primp and get ready to go. I tell her we need to be places an hour before we need to that way when she's late we actually end up on time.
It's frustrating not to get upset but the older I get the more in touch with my mortality I feel.
hahahah thank you for sharing your story, i was actually hoping to find an answer here. Coz i have a very good friend who is always late too! But i will share with you 2 stories, that might or might not be helpful. :D
1st one, is from Emily Lam, she's Peter Lam's daughter. Peter Lam is a Hong Kong billionaire, very prominent man in the entertainment industry. Emily once told us that when she was little, she and her siblings couldn't get up in time on Sunday mornings to go to the church. To teach them a lesson, their mom would leave the house without them and not allow them to eat for the whole day. But most importantly, her mom would patiently explained to them why she did so, "Time is most precious in life, and everyone's time is equally precious. Respect the other's time as well as yours." She has been a punctual person since then.
2nd story, is from another friend, who happens to be from a very wealthy family too, in Singapore. His method is unconventional but certainly works for some! When we go out for dinner with him, whoever is late, must drink 5 seconds of whisky/brandy from the bottle.. it's pretty lethal, so many friends have learned to be punctual when hanging out with him, at least.
My conclusion is, always be punctual no matter what. Bring a book, or read something on your phone/tablet if the person you're meeting is late. Because you can just relax and learn something new, consider it as spending some quality time on your own. It's easier to change ourselves than trying to change the others. But if you have kids, it's important to help them build good habits from young! :D