I've got a van. Doing deliveries within 6 miles for free. Up for it?
Huh?? What the fuck was this?
Who the fuck was this?
I stared at my email account and made a face like an old Italian man offered chorizo in a cafe.
In front of me was a short email from a ridiculous sounding mail address which I didn't recognise at all.
What the hell could it mean?
A van, it said? Was it a sex van? Was even now some sultry goddess attaching flimsy things to herself in preparation of a sex delivery to one Mr Boom.
Shit, this was a conundrum. Where would she park the van whilst we shook our giblets at one another?
It would have to be far enough away that the Good Lady wouldn't hear my sex yell that's for sure.
And there was one other thing to consider.
Perhaps the most important of all.
How would we manage to fumble our bumblies whilst social distancing?
I mean, I might be gifted downstairs but bridging a two meter gap was beyond even my amazing powers at gammon Tetris.
My head was a whirl with the thoughts of how best to get my coconuts polished by this van-driving sex deliverer when I noticed the line at the bottom of the mail.
I've got some cracking barrel aged stouts in.
Was this prostitute code?
What could it mean?
Damn, why did they have to be so bloody opaque? Couldn't they just lay it out there, like, literally..?
Wait a minute though...
My enormous brain crunched through the scenarios.
Oh. Oh no. What if... What if this might not be a towering high heeled gussy mama?
In fact, what if it was the exact opposite?
Barrel aged...stouts...
Could this be the bloody Bear-Man?
The Bear-Man and his many beer wonders? Could he be back in the game?
Like a superhero who arrives just when needed most?
No. No??
Surely not.
How would he have gotten my mail address? Right enough, I did have a vague memory of signing up to a mailing list.
Was this the hand of sweet lady fate, observing that my beers were getting perilously low and staging a divine intervention?
Could she see me even now, stumbling through the dark gloom of lockdown with hands perilously empty of beer?
I whimpered like a dog in an old fridge.
I should reply, yes definitely.
Best keep it unspecific though, just in case it is a van driving lockdown sex deliverer and not the big bearded bastard-lord of the beer...
Feverishly, I started typing...
Hello dear friend @meesterboom
Mister Bear will have received a quick marketing course and is now trying to adapt to the new business situation.
Who knows.
I wish you a happy rest
I wonder if he will keep up the cam deliveries and quit with the shop. Yeek!
It is amazing at how fast businesses will adjust when there are profits to be saved - apps up and running, delivery routes created - high-heeled wenches aready.
Don't you think "aready" should be a word?
I think it most certainly should be a word!
Yes, there has been some spectacularly wonky sites spun up but they do the job. The whole transition to lockdown has happened more smoothly than I would ever have thought.
Now, where is my high heeled wench!? I'm aready!!! :0D
"She had legs for days, kimbo legs - I longed to get them akimbo"
Like it was planned.
Hehe, don't even go there. It's a dark and convoluted Rabbit hole!!
Haha you crack me up. Sometimes I can’t even follow what is going on in your life, but just can stop laugh with how you describe it.
I do tend to spout utter nonsense!! :0D
Don’t we all good sir!
It makes life far more interesting!!
Why does the sex van comes to your thought,my head is still imagining
Isn't that what vans are for?
Lol.
Nope I don't think so well maybe but I am not sure
flips a coin
One for polishing those coconuts. Glorious.
!tip
You should see the shine on them!
🎁 Hi @meesterboom! You have received 0.1 HIVE tip from @dswigle!
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