There he is, my main man!
My brow rumpled as if squeezing out a salted caramel brownie. Standing before my desk was Crypto Man, my favourite Bitcoin buying, crypto trading colleague.
I sighed as if someone had sprinkled Kalamata olives over my desk again.
And what can your main man do for you?
Crypto Man grabbed a chair and wheeled up close enough for me to smell last nights dinner wafting from one of his orifices. Hopefully the mouth one.
So BoomDawg, you know I have been getting into all this Crypto shit?
I honked like a goose being goosed. He looked momentarily hurt.
Whats so funny?
I waved a superbly muscled hand airily at him.
Oh nothing, nothing. Do carry on.
He squared his shoulders and puffed up his chest.
I have been asked to do a presentation on Blockchain for the Innovation team.
My eyes stood out on stalks as I stared at him as if he was a masturbating dog that had just ejaculated and asked me to be a love and go make me a cup of tea.
I tried to speak but only a muffled wargle noise came out.
He looked at me smugly.
So there ye are. How do you like them biscuits?
I cleared my throat with a loud Krawwk.
They asked you to do a presentation on Blockchain? They... Asked you?
Yup...
He pretended to pick his nails as if he was asked to do extraordinary things every day instead of cleaning the bins and washing the cups in the kitchen.
I was quite taken aback. Our company had been toying with ideas on how to improve and not be left behind in the world. I couldn't quite believe they were asking Crypto Man. This was the guy who thought he had been hacked when the value of his Bitcoin went down after he bought it?
Well, erm. Good luck matey baws.
He stopped picking his nails.
Well that's the thing. I mean I did kinda volunteer myself and... well, I admit I am no expert.
Ah.
So I looked up some stuff on Google...
He made a face as if a polecat had ran up his trouser leg.
It's quite complicated though? I was wondering if you could give me the basics?
I snorfled loudly. Then stopped when I saw his intense little face wobble as though he was ready to break into squeaky little tears.
Well, I aint no expert dude. Essentially, a blockchain is a distributed digital ledger which...
He cheered instantly and clapped his hands together with a resounding slap.
That's the stuff. Magic! Could you stick that in an email and send it to me?
Could I bloody what?
I gave him my most ferocious staring into the abyss face.
Yeah, like, all the stuff online, it's all, wah wah wah.
He made a flappy hand gesture as he said wah wah wah. I leaned back in my chair, my face now firmly set in a look of disdain as if I had caught him in the act of making love to a barber's floor.
No, I bloody well couldn't, so beat it.
He reeled back as if I had doinked him with my shoe.
Erm... Go on... Please??
I looked at him with my big handsome face and let out a theatrical sigh. My eyes twinkled kindly. His face brightened and hope shone forth from his every pore.
I nodded slowly and started to smile.
I said no. So fuck off.
He huffed furiously before flouncing off, the blockchain weighing heavily on his shoulders. I smirked aloud.
This will be one fascinating presentation!
I knew it you're a goose just kidding :D
these days it's hard to offer assistance yeah?
it could lead to dependence and more help me please days which sometimes feels like you're being obliged and you owe them specially when the price drops and you'll have to do their homeworks for them?
charge ! :D
I like your comment, thank you very much
Cor that is weird. I definitely answered this!! Definitely I swear, and yet when I scroll through this my answer isn't there. Something in the wind on the blockchain!!
Exactly, if you help these people once they will expect you to do everything for them for always!!
Wow a classic example of a person who want it all for free. You helped him buy his 1st bitcoin and he almost fainted when the price was down lol. Now he wants you to do all the blockchain research for him and send him in a gold plate? where is your cane!!!!!
I think I need it. Since people really do want it all for nothing and he is one!!
Hahahah I agree with you.
Lol the guy is lucky that you are not wearing your Gentleman coat-he would have been gone like others..hahaha. Another interesting read from you
Hehe, I think we are all lucky that is not a coat to be worn regularly hehe! :O)
Heheheheh you really know the game...good one indeed, I agree.
Hey mastertree!
Yeah, they ask for the pinky, and then they want to grab the whole hand and shove it up their arse!
Just as a point of interest, care to explain your train of thought on the barbershop comment? because cold hard hairy sex came to mind, and then that lead to revenge sex with your ex's layer... and then I had to work that into context - was an interesting process!
Haha, yeah.. Barbers floor. That was really taken from a saying here that
He's so desperate he would shag a barbers floor
As in the clouds he would get to a particular something lol
haha, I see. I have never heard that saying before - at least now I know!
It's a cracker!
I had a vivid picture of you kicking him in the arse as he left, catching him between the legs and hurling him on down the aisle, hahahaa. The fucking nerve of him "I wanna look cool and smart, do all the work for me so I can?" Shitttt.
In my place it is quite a recurring theme for people to want others to do the work and take the credit. HAhah, I was ever so tempted to kick him in the chuff. But then I always am!!
I look forward to the blog post "I finally kicked him in the chuff" Haha!!
HAham it could be a total short post, photo of a foot hitting chuff and that sentence. LOLZ
Oh man, to think we just had a conversation about these kinds of people, I didn't know this topic was in the cards for you haha! I love these kinds of people. I love to kick them in the gonads. I mean, jeez! They make a tiny profit, catch a lucky break and suddenly they think they're experts. You and me, it seems we're magnets for these kinds of people. They're great a selling themselves, but they don't have substance. The added kicker is when they put their tail between their legs and ask you discreetly about the topic, then make it seem they knew it all along when it comes to talking about it with others. They're the real cancer to society. Go on a watch your Bitcoin, Crypto Man. That's the guy who bought some from you, right?
It is he!! I was half tempted to ask him for 0.014 BTC in return for doing it. That works have made me laugh. He is now widely seen as a crypto expert in the office. One person actually said to me that if I was interested in that short of thing I should speak to him. To say I was admitted would be a vast understatement!
A crypto expert hahahaha!!! I had that happen to me many times in my life. I was fuming every time, but when I look back at them they're all so ridiculous. They can have the so-called expertise for all I care. I'm interested to see how his presentation turns out haha!
So am I !! I will have be best heckling shoes on!!!
Make sure to record it, duderino!! It has become quite the saga with that guy haha!
So this guy wants you to do his homework, another guy wants you to set him up with an office date (how's that coming by the way?!), El Jefe really just wants to be you....When are you going to get that promotion to top dawg?!!
Hehe, ah the promotion that never comes. Or maybe it did ;0)
I have been hassled already about that night out date I am meant to organise. I shamefully haven't managed it yet and he hasn't made any moves yet either!!
he's obvi such a lame-o. What are we smarties to do?! Fix everyone's pathetic lives? I constantly get asked questions about what to do for people's gardens - you know, they expect free advice that takes time away from my schedule (such as it is).
Mostly the people wanting the free advice have sh*t yards, and sometimes I'm nice, but mostly I want to say "well, for starters, you need to bulldoze all of this junk outta here and get these outta control vines off your flippin' roof!" and they're like 'oh but I love the vines' and I'm like , 'okay, well, good luck with that'. They want advice, but they don't actually want to do anything about it!
I agree, those ones are the absolute worst. The ones that seem advice and then don't take it. I have been badgered in the past for Avon's on things and then much later when you ask how it went they feel you about something someone else said!?! Gaar, some people!! :0)
I would give him the most complicated blockchain presentation ever. Then invite crypto experts to come with their most puzzling questions and watch him crumble like biscuits when it's time to take questions.
I think he would crumble like biscuits reading out the gruffalo never mind a proper presentation lol!
wow @meesterboom
I think I know that guy I know some who does for sure tho It reminds me of em.
great post killer piece of #steemArtwork
can I ask abut the cover page
Whats the credit for it? did you draw it?
any way great post your success is much deserved
#steemnoob here so dont mind me but Ill follow ya and be around
#greatsteemwork
cheers
<3 kel
I can't really take the credit. I use stock images and myself and blend them together with filters from a couple of apps and some hue/contrast/saturation tweaks with the odd bit of overdrawing.
Lol, looking at that maybe I can take some credit :0)
That's okay I was going to be totally gone away that was the case I'm already super impressed I was going to be totally Blown away if you were also in doing the cover Artwork it would almost beToo much, Somewhere a line can get crossed At a certain point where You stopBeing impressed and start getting jealous and feeling inadequate someone is That Gangster and you suck!
JK
butforealdo great posts!
I have much to lear for you guys that are super elite on here cause I love writing and I do good graphic design for my self so it just a matter of putting it all together now in a visually ascetic manner as well as good writing cause wow the stuff thats good on here is REAL good (yours is among that btw) and its amazing cause it also seems to be the most successful and widely accepted which is amazing cause it encourages quality completely and rewards it which is so much more authentic then social media has ever been with the compartmentalized function 140 caricature buy 1millinon likes BS thats come before this so is cool I hope if stays like this
I think it will stay like this. It takes a bit of getting into but steemit is a really cool place. I hope you enjoy it!
Only wish I had listened to my friend the first time tonight already have a following and some finances from it. Very much so looking forward to a second source of income. We literally changed my life. I’m going to try to get as many of my InstaFollowers converted to steamit peers And learn as much as possible about the inns and outs to try to maximize the opportunity ready and eventually value
I wish I was already rich LOL I would buy crapton to put on the power and just start saving for early retirement LOL :-) anyway thanks for your quality content and fellowship and what not
KIT
Kel
I had a conversatio with a mate of mine who I had tried to get to join and he has now but he so wishes he had a year ago.
It is still very early days, this will be the year for it to go boom! so to speak! :O)
Awesome I stoked to be on the steemtrain in time 🐰
Yeah I think so too. I hope so anyway.
The whole system is designed to nurture quality people and quality content which is totally unheard of and makes it special. I’m glad to have seen the light
I like your post very much. thank you for the comment that you left me
No worries :)
Hahaahahhaa duuude you are hilarious. You didnt throw your shoe at him while he was leaving?? :D
Well that would have been a fair old idea!!! HEhe!
Did boomdawg miss his chance there? Get the Crypto-Man to do an introduction, because he has been too busy washing the dishes etc, here is the man most up to date with the blockchain Boomdawg.
A good presentation and you could be El Jefes boss tomorrow.
Lol, that is one thing that someone else is more than welcome too. Attracts attention. Next thing you know someone would be on steemit and saying, hey, wait a minute. This guy seems familiar! ;O)
So do you get to sit in on his presentation and question him on blockchain and all?
Just wondering if you will ensure your company gets the best information or just sit back and smug a while.
We are running a series of them apparently on various cutting edge subjects. I am definitely going to sit in on this one!
Can't wait to hear your thoughts on how he did.
He will probably read something out verbatim from the web and run away after it! I am hoping not though. HE is a wing it kind of guy
Hooooo, reappeared Criptoman.
How unpleasant to be invaded by that space dear friend @meesterboom and that you have to endure the smell of dinner the night before, that's unhealthy work.
And to think that in real life there are people like that, who write down everything and do not know anything, I have known a lot of these in my fiftieth year.
Thank you very much dear friend, for another nice reading
I wish you a beautiful afternoon
It was quite a garlicky scent the dinner from the night before. There are so many like that it hurts!
Lol. This guy does sound like a bit of an idiot. I do enjoy your updates on him though. Also, did he hodl through the recent big crash?
I haven't asked actually as we tend to not talk much! I am gonna ask him. I am sure I will get a post out of whatever he says :0D
haha, if he had eaten chicken last night or something that was likely to spoil his stomach, he would have made the bottom holes as a source of perfume for you :p
@uncleboom Don't forget to check my latest remedy.
I am mad for the remedies!
I'm Mad for you :p
Hahahhahahahha! :op
Don't Tell This to Kind Lady :p
A gentleman never tells... ;O)
haha, but you know the Gentlelady is wise enough to know that on his own :p Is she here on the steemit?
Two questions for you:
Will you PLEASE video it with your phone, if possible?
Will you be allowed to ask questions following his presentation?
If the answer to number one is yes, please do share it with a "director's cut" commentary. If the answer to number two is also yes, oh please ask him really complicated, technical questions. I'm sure you can come up with some, maybe turn it into a Steemit contest. hah.
Signed,
Seaslim, who has had her intellectual property and work stolen more times than she can count. :/
Haha, I couldn't fun the inside of my work with my phone, I would get the bullet!
If there are questions allowed them I will be sure to ask them. I am sure that I can throw some his way that would scare the living daylights out of him :0)
Why BoomDawg treats Crypto Man so badly? He just wanted a little help for his presentation. Some strength must have Crypto Man and that's where Boom Dawg should take advantage ... That office is all an environment full of intrigues and falsehoods, What a bad environment to work with ..."Not my cup of tea"
Be wanted more than a little help lol. It's quite the environment!
I congratulate BoomDawg because he has a lot of patience and knows how to control with all these characters ... any other guy would have resigned or responded aggressively. That is the importance of being a gentleman.
Haha, it is exactly like that. Pepe who think they can volunteer for something to take the kudos but not do the work
Haaaaahaaahahahaaaaaa, you might have got the ball right on the head there!!!
Good one, meesterboom on refusing to do the work for him. The "Crypto Man" clinging to you like a parasite. What a shame! Upvoted!
Parasite is right!
Couldn't you have told him a blockchain is a series of bricks with bits of rope between them and with transactions inscribed on them with a chisel? Aways nice to hear such things back.
That be too good anan explanation!!!
Damn.
O goodness this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. It will be like if they ask me to do a presentation on blockchain or steemit for that matter - at least I know how to post and vote,hahaha but the rest I will leave to the experts. A lot of people out there like this one who think they are 'experts' and ready to dish out advice. I really do not know what to believe. Like I say I know little to none about this so it confuses me - like a simple question - so I rather cash out sbd or do I rather buy steem? Everybody has a different opinion
Everyone does have a different opinion. I am happy to offer mine if you are ever stuck with the whole what to do with steem/SBD nonsense :0)
Please feel free to enlighten me - I feel this way - It is nice to cash out and have the cash but being a mother, needless to say you know where the money goes, so I figured putting it into steem gives me more voting power and I can keep it for 'one day'. I do not know if that is silly?? And I need someone to tell me steemit will not dissapear and take my steem with it hahaha
That's the tricky bit. Knowing what you want to do with your steem/SBD.
I am almost 100% confident that steemit is going nowhere, add in going but or anything. Also they are working on a steem wallet. That's important because it means if steemit.com ever closed down you would still have your steem.
Anyway, I get what you mean, is good to take money out. What I do is buy a little steem each week. Obviously it depends on what you earn but for example if i withdraw 50 sbd i will buy 10 steem and then keep the rest. And periodically send my steem back.
If that makes any sense. I do think it is worth while building your steem power up because you do better with more steempower and it is bound to become more valuable in future. It's always there for you to take should you get desperate as well
Thanks that makes totally sense - thanks for the advice - this platform is still mind boggling to me , but I make some money, can read great posts like yours so all and all I am just thankful
I think we all are! Who knows where we could end up in a few years!
If there's one thing that I've learned it's that just about everybody already knows just about everything there is to know about the cryptocurrency world.
No need to do any research or tell anybody anything.
Absolutely no need at all. He should actually just go up and say it's all a scam hehe ;0)
@meesterboom if he is called the crypto expert then why does he need your help, why isn't be confident?it's simple he has no faith in crypto currency , perhaps that was why he felt he was hacked when the market cap for 80 of altcoins and butcoins dropped.
Exactly that that, he doesn't have a clue!
Meesterboom has a broom
Gives the floor a sweep in the afternoon
Meesterboom get's his house nice a clean
Before he sits down in front of the TV screen
Post cool
Cheers much!
@meesterboom
@erenai
Upvote me please
Done
Thanks @meesterboom,, which post
great article, looking forward to more from you, following and upvoted
Cheers very much!
what a great story.
thanks for shareing...
keep it up..
No bother :O)
Wow...😍 amazing...
My leathery testicles or the post? :O)
Well it might be when it happens :O)
He hasn't given it yet
No, he was asking me for help with a presentation he has yet to do
I had a good laugh mehn.... Thanks for sharing buddy
Cheers :O)
You could always feed him ridiculous information and make him look really bad. That also may be fun to video :)
Haha, that would be quite fun!
Interesting read from you thanks
You are welcome
Nice
Post
Excelente post.
Muy bien!
Not all objects can be owned for free.
Sometimes garbage can be expensive.
And sometimes garbage is worth more than gold
Can I be a fly on the wall for that presentation? I'll bring the salted caramel brownies and the hot buttered popcorn. Who's going to supply the beer?
Your reviews are very interesting and helpful brother @meesterboom
I have a large horned penis. If you put your ear to it you can hear the sea
Wow..great story..i appreciate this writing..i like this life...
Downvoted for comment spamming
Hello. I liked your post, keep it up. Good luck to you and have a nice day :)
Downvoted for comment spamming
a very sad story of a friend if our friend does so to a friend of his own.
Your story is very touched for me who read