Sorry BoomDawg, are you alright?
A hand was extended downward to me. It was Kipper, an oily grin on his face.
Did you just wallop me on the back of the head?
He shrugged his shoulders in mock apology.
Sorry man, I saw you get right up close to the fish tank and couldn't help just scudding you on the back of the dome. Boof you clacked right off it and went down like a ton of bricks!
Oh very good. Cheeky fecker... Wait... Fish tank?!?
I pulled myself up on Kipper's greasy pole of a hand and tried not to think of him casting his rod back and forth with said hand in the pale light of the moon.
A fish tank?! In an IT department?
Indeed it was. A colossal cylindrical fish tank in the middle of the eighth floor office with strange and colourful fish darting back and forth inside. The humming and crackling that I had thought were exotic energies from some kind time interference device I saw now was just the filter and the lights within the thing.
Or wait... Was that what I was supposed to think?
Ha, nice try, you fish fingering motherfuckers. It was patently some futuristic energy source for time travel disguised as a fish tank.
I nodded and grinned like an obedient dog to allay any suspicions that I was onto them.
It's amazing. Wow, you guys are incredible!
Kipper gleamed wetly with pleasure.
It was all Carlate really. She said this place was like dog shit and needed cheering up.
Carlate eh... Where is Sexy baws anyway?
Oh my god, you can't say things like that.
Kipper crossed his legs and squirmed nervously as if trying to crack one off with his own thighs. Which reminded me of a show I once saw in Korea back in the sixties.
I was about to admonish him for self-leg-masturbatoriness when the velvet dead thing that was Carlate's voice oozed over us.
Have you seen this, boys?
She wafted by me, I fought the urge to rub my own legs together as if kindling a fire and watched her impassively.
She flipped a hatch at the base of the tank and took out a plastic cup. Another hatch opened and she put the tap under a spigot. Out gushed water and filled it to the top.
I hope it's not the tank water.
Giggled Kipper gormlessly.
She just smiled and looked at us like we were smoked pork.
When are we going back Carlate?
I cut to the chase. We could stand here all day making fenugreek salad in our pants or actually get on with some work. I wanted to get to it. I thought of the good lady, the real one. Trapped in the past without he who goes boom. I needed to get back to her. The sooner the better.
I've emailed you. We have some stuff to sort out. Only minor. We could be ready as soon as next week if everything is tested properly.
I snorted at that. I don't like to blow my own trumpet and when I do, it's usually in private but this deserved a bit of spit and stogey lips.
When it comes to Test baby girl, I'm the best, you hear?
I stomped off to my desk to see what she had inserted into my inbox.
Later I sat watching The Clivvers in his dungeon office. He was pacing up and down before me. I noticed with distaste that he had taken his shoes off. I couldn't smell anything but my brain told me his feet stank of rats fur matted with jizzum. I chose to believe my brain.
A fucking fish tank?! How big? All the way up to the ceiling you say? I don't have a purchase order for that? Why don't I have a purchase order for that?!?
Can't you just go up there and put a rocket up their arses?
The Clivvers stopped pacing and glared at me with his beady little shoe-less eyes.
I am not... allowed... to interfere. At least until we have severed our cloud connection and pulled everything back.
I nodded. Back. Back to the past, which of course was my future. I hoped. Back to the Future... It had a nice ring to it. Maybe when I got back to the past that was hopefully my future from now, I could settle down with the good lady. Have some kids together, get married.
A small voice in my head told me that that had already happened. I laughed inwardly at it. Time travel sure messes you up. I was obviously getting some bleed over from the future that was actually to be the past. Of course, that would be the future of that future that was the past that I was going back to. I think.
Are you ok?
The Clivvers was leaning over me as if to lick at me, like he was a cat and I his milky bowl. I scraped backwards in the chair in my haste to get out of his way.
Yeah, I'm fine. So, it is due to happen next week. Is there anything more you need of me?
The Clivvers looked down at his manky-socked feet and then back up at me, a vile leer on his face.
No, you can go, boomboom...
I didn't like the way he sneered as he said it and for a moment contemplated getting my penis out and pistol whipping him with it. Instead, I grabbed my hat and curled my lip up into a mirthless smile.
You should get a cleaner in here, it smells of feet.
I pulled open the door and left.
I could have gone upstairs and got on with the work that Carlate had set me. It would mean that I would be back in the past with my lady love all the quicker. Instead, I went outside for some air. Maybe it was the wet wool of The Clivvers socks that were sticking in my throat or just a homesick longing for the past and the simpler times that came with it.
I wasn't sure.
I decided to head for home. I felt like some human company after a day working with Carlate. The good lady of this timeline might be a grumpy, leathery banjanoed stranger but still, that leathery banjano felt like an old familiar glove and it would do...
At least, it would do until next week, when I could be reunited with the real good lady once more...
Wow, my dear friend @meesterboom, definitely that proyecti Cirrus and Carlate have taken you out of your senses and that strong stinky foot finished you "joder" ... That mix you have between the past, the future, the present, the gerund y otros, is driving you crazy ... I recommend you take a good shower, you take two good beers "Orinoco", play a little bit with Little Boom and tomorrow you answer all the emails to Carlate, so that way you begin to straighten your life. (LOL).
Greetings.
That sounds like a plan!!!
Your writing makes me laugh and sometimes just make me envious with this thought of 'Jeez I wish I had an imagination like that '- you better never stop writing.... you are truly blessed with a wonderful talent.
Och shucks. You will make me blush. :0)
This can be confusing if you are not following the story, but if you are it is GREAT - love the way you 'paint' a picture even with words like 'self-leg-masturbatoriness' LOL -
Hehe, cheers, it's nice to know that the big picture is appreciated. Even if it is a bit mad!!
O but being normal is soooooo boring
Absolutely!!!!
What exactly was it that came out of the spigot under the tank? Are you sure it was water and not vodka? Time to travel back to your home and the good lady of the present. The future one sounds a bit tawdry...
Exactly, no-one can replace the good lady of your heart!
A story from the past about going back to the past, which has already happened in the present, which then was the future. I can't wait to catch up to the latest episode so I can sync up with you in your present, which is my past, in the future. Time travel is so easy to comprehend.
It's a flying breeze isn't it. That was exactly what I thought previously when I was in the future.
Your writing is just awesome..just today checking your blog
Creative writing
Well thank you. I do like to think it's a little bit creative!
Wow. 😍
Yeh that question marky divider in the middle, that's about how I felt trying to sort out Boomdawg's thought processes over the timeline issues XD
You are not alone! :0D
Please tell me that Korean show wasn't real!
HAhahahah, it wasnt :O)
:(
He. I am pretty sure Korea in the sixties must have been da bomb.
Black ops. My lips are sealed.
said the lady to the vicar
I think I got dizzy....past ,present, future ,past.........
does our Boom ever get dizzy?
upvoted and resteemed
I think he does but only when the situation demands it!
Grumpy, leathery banjanoed stranger LOL! What is banjanoed? hee hee, ah boomisms, my favorite isms!!
Hehe, surely banjano couldnt be vagina!!!! Oh no he didnt just go there!!! :O)
Bahahahaa, leathery vagina, oh godddd you kill me! I am using banjano from now on!
I once went out with a girl and was notorious for breaking up with her when I cited her leathery banjano as the reason :OD
I do enjoy your writing. Nothing like smelly socks to stick in your throat.
Lol, glad to hear it. And yes, yuk!!!
Glad you were able to escape Clivvers smelly socks, I wouldn't stick around too. Interesting stuff.
It's no place to stay long!
It is not a fish tank. It is a black monolith in disguise with babel fish in it. Stick one into your ear and all will be revealed.
It's exactly that! 42!!
What a nightmare! It's a good thing that fish tank was secured. It could have gotten good and wet for everyone. It won't be long until the return. I just wonder if the past has changed? Are you going to go back home to a shitshow?
Who knows what the past holds. Is it even there!?!!
fish tank? seems someone expounded on that last week?
Someone
guesseddeduced correctly!!!i sure hope I didn't influence the story line with my amazing powers of deduction
Nah, it was always going to be one, I am chuffed that someone got it :0)
I hope that you can go back to the past or future? I'm so confused right now but I genuinely hope you can go back to your good lady whom you adore. The "ORIGINAL" good lady. Upvoted!
That's the one I am after, the original!!!
Hahaha! Really enjoyed this episode! Someone commented about "boomisms" - love that word. It should be a thing. :)
Hehe, I agree. It should definitely be a thing!! :0)