Warning: the following is a dry and sterile dissection of the proportional representation voting system we have here in Scotland. It is a cold and factual dissection of the how and the why and might be quite dull. Read on at your peril.
Damn, We are so close to getting a majority but I don't think we will.
The Good Lady said, looking at the latest results of the voting rolling into her phone.
I stole a look over her shoulder.
We have 63 seats, I thought we only needed 65 or something to get a majority. They have loads left to call. It will be a fucking doddle. We are laughing!
As if to emphasise my point I tipped back my head and let out a laugh that a Hyena who had just eaten the severed penis of an ostrich would be proud of.
No, Daddy-Bear. I am afraid not. Because the rest of the votes fall under the proportional representation rules, it is looking quite unlikely that we will get a majority even though we will win the general vote.
The Good Lady said this with all the certainty of someone with no job who has time to watch shows on TV discussing elections and how voting works.
Is it not just, who gets the most votes wins?
I said, my face going all squinty with puzzlement.
The Good Lady looked at me the same way I look at those people that keep turning up at my door asking if I want my gutters cleaned.
No no, Daddy-Bear. It works like this...
As she started warbling about lists and double votes and other absurdities I felt reality blink out around me and I found myself drifting into nothingness.
See the thing is, right. If we shit in our socks and throw the socks at the windows it has more chance of crashing through?
A man crouched on the ground in front of me, frantically tugging his socks off.
Come on then, what are you waiting for?
Sock-Man had completed pulling his socks off and was now squatting, trousers around his ankles, holding a sock to his pallid arse as if it were a trumpet and he hoped to tootle out a brown tune or two.
I beg your pardon? Shit in a sock? Why on earth would I shit in a sock?
I wasn't sure what was going on. Hadn't I just been talking to the Good Lady about voting? Yet, here I was, lurking in some undergrowth outside a big house in the fading light of dusk.
So you aren't going to shit in your sock?
Sock-Man appeared to have filled his first sock and it bulged obscenely in his hand like a nightmare meatball marinara.
No. Of course I'm not going to shit in my sock?!
Sock-Man wrinkled his face in disgust at me as he started fartily filling up number two.
You just going to shit in your hand then? That's fucking barbaric mate.
He screwed up his eyes as the second sock filled with a series of wet plorps and spup noises.
What, No?! I am not shitting in my hand, in fact, I am not shitting, full stop.
At this, Sock-Man reared back and glared at me suspiciously.
You pop up, out of nowhere and say you arent going to shit in a sock? Don't you know... We win together?
He crouched there, this strange Sock-Man, looking peculiarly Toad-like in the dim light, each hand burdened by a heavy sock full of his own shit.
You understand?
He hissed.
You understand now?
I blinked.
The Good Lady was poking at me with an accusing finger. Guiltily I looked around me to make sure that she hadn't caught me shitting in a sock.
Thats what proportional representation means. You understand now?
I looked at her and imagined that man in the woods shitting desperately into a sock so that he could throw it through a window.
Yes...
I nodded.
I think I do understand...
And there you have it. Proportional representation in a nutshell. You're welcome!
Historically, did proportional representation benefit the wealthy, the nobility or the slave owners? Or some portion of each?
When you look at the US electoral college, those are the groups it looks like it was designed to help. Since there are no (few) slave owners in the US anymore, only the nobility (old families) and the wealthy (old families plus new money families) really benefit.
I wonder if capitalizing the word People indicates that the constitution was written for a Gentleman's club named "the People". I guess we'll never know. A Gentleman never tells.
It will have been some portion of each no doubt. The ones in power always create processes to protect their power. I get very suspicious when I can't really understand the rules to the voting. Why so opaque?
Then again, maybe I really am an idiot :0)
Good lord I haven't laughed this hard in a while
Hehe, how dare you laugh at this sobering explanation of voting and stuffs... :0D
haha i never heard of if we shit in our socks it might crash harder
Me neither but hey, it's gotta be worth a shot... ;0)
haha worked just fine i believe
If it worked then everything is gonna be alright!! 😃
😀😎
Surely that's crazy
It has been said!
This seems like essential material to teach kids about proportional representation. Why isn't this in virtual textbooks already!?
Really though, I thought we're doing away with traditional means and just relying on... CONCENSUS!
Concensus!! It is all we need!!!
It shall be the cry in the streets and in the robot factories CONSENSUS!! :OD
Given everything else I've read from you in the past, I'm not surprised in the slightest that you went from proportional voting to shitting in socks to break windows but I will forever be wondering how XD
I cringed at the description of the hyaena laugh thinking of the pain it would inflict on my oversensitive eardrums, guess the Good Lady's ears are made of much sterner stuff XD
We have proportional voting here as well, I think I know enough to get mine to stream where I want but then after that I ignore everything because it makes my brain hurt x_x
Hyenas are a right noisy bunch! Yes, it was quite the detour but I think my brain goes into overdrive when it starts hurting over nonsensical things which should be far easier than they are!
Next thing I will be getting all murcan and saying if I cant understand it then it cant be right, lol!
Hi @meesterboom,According to what I read they were in elections, the good lady explained to you and you thinking or imagining the man shitting in his socks ha, ha, ha, ha, I mean the good lady wasted time explaining, the good lady deserves that you listen to her , I suppose that when she says good morning my love, or good morning papa bear if you listen to her ha ha ha, you are very rude, but the good lady loves you very much and that is fabulous as you say.
Greetings
I do have a terrible habit of ignoring what she is saying that is true. I do hope that she doesn't figure out that one day I am imagining all sorts whilst she talks, lol! Greetings dude!
Hi @meesterboom ,I would like you to read this post, I had a lot of fun and I want you to have fun, just like I do with your post.
https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@lupega/transporte-de-marleny-para-una-segunda-dosis-contra-el-virus-marleny-transport-for-a-second-dose-against-the-virus.
A happy start to the week and take good care of yourself
I have read it, it was quite funny. You do have to have a joke at times to make serious stuff not matter so much :0)
Ok reading this and then putting to work a rich imagination makes me see socks now in a totally different light lol😂😂
They are the devil's work. Steer well clear!! ;0)
Hmmm and all the time I thought we were the only ones with a convoluted system lol! Now somehow I feel better! Thanks Boom!
You're welcome! They like to keep us guessing so things can never change!
Yes, no, eurm, what...!? 🤯
Damned be my vivid instant imagination.
Now I only saw a full grown man fill his socks with shit in my mind, including sound effects.
Proportional representation, it has a certain ring to it. Must be good, sounding like that.
Have a splendid Sunday!
I like it because they say it is fairer but hecked if I could understand how it worked!!
The Sunday's looking ok so far!!! Nope you have a good one too dude!!
Every 100000 people 1 representative, or something like that, I imagine that could work.
Thanks mate! ☀️
Did you just ask me to shit in a sock!??! :0D
If so I did then I think you should fill both the left and the right one! 😂 That must be representing politics quite well. 🤪
Do not vote, just hand them two well filled socks, thrown in through a window, of course.
"Could not decide, casted mine for both sides, equally shared!"
That's probably the way to do it. I am sure there is some damn deep philosophy in there! Lol!!
High level!!! 🤣
Hahaa...the severed penis of an ostrich?? Around these parts we call that a corn dog
Is that what a corn dog is!! I had always wondered!! ;OD
LOL. Sometimes its better not knowing!
Sometimes when you close your eyes it really does make everything ok. :0)
People complain about being left holding the bags. They should be grateful they aren't election socks.
Yeah, them socks ain't for hodlin! :0D
I think they are colloquially called a, "Glasgow cocktail"
Hahaha, I can imagine a few things that would fall into that category and indeed, none of them savoury!
What if you have on sandals?? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?