Mug

in #life4 years ago

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Hmmm. I don't know, I think I would have to challenge that assumption.

Snaggletooth reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a ridiculous handkerchief and blew his nose to emphasise his point.

It was quite a wet-sounding nose blowing and I shuddered as I remembered the horror of the weekend's snotters.

He tucked the now ridiculously heavy looking hanky back into his pocket.

I could almost smell the green from it and choked back a boak.

It's not an assumption. I am telling you it is needed.

I replied smugly over the meeting table.

We were in a Risk Meeting for some random shitty piece of work we had, to create a public facing web portal for customers to self-serve.

As Captain-Johnny-Test I was doing the usual, you will have to test this and that, nonsense.

And depressingly as usual, no one wanted to test anything because it costs money.

Snaggletooth leaned forward and fixed me with a long odd-toothed gaze.

And I would challenge that.

He grunted with great self-satisfaction as if he were rooting for half-eaten apples in the mud and had found a shiny penny.

I frowned deeply and gave him the long eye which is remarkably similar to the stink-eye but longer.

A challenge eh? Should I rip my shirt off and get the jam out?

Or leap up and smash my chair on the ground and go at him with a splintered chair leg as if he were an albino cat and I, a crazed half-drunk Russian lion-tamer?

Better yet, find the mug he drank his tea from and go Rim to Rim with it in the toilets before replacing it back on his desk with him none the wiser?

A cold smile played along my face at the thought of him savouring his brown tea.

The tension in the room was becoming unbearable as all faces watched for my response to this challenge.

I knew something big was needed.

Should I invoke the memory of the great downtime of 2014?

Many scalps had been lost in that one.

I took a deep breath and sighed.

Ach, do what you want then.

Snaggletooth all but burst into flames and imploded into nothing with disbelief and shock.

Eh, what? Um. No thanks. Tell you what, why don't we just put it in the plan. That ok?

He smiled at me as if we were great friends and no one had thought of rubbing their arses on anyone's mug.

I smiled back.

Looks like his mug was safe... For now.

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Some people deserve a little brown tea. Id hope to see them take just 1 sip, before noticing the stench of arse haha. Im with some of the other comments about a hanky too, seems weird to soak it with a snot, and tuck it away.

I think it's an old British thing. Fecking revolting though.

To see that sip from an enemy would be a fine thing!!

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I would think you would have to be all drunk to tame lions! Good read.

That would truly be my kind of working! Cheers!

I have taken a co-workers cup, then rimmed it with capsaicin.

No smell, no colour, only burn.

https://www.amazon.com/Pure-Cap-Hot-Sauce-Ferociously/dp/B0000DG4NJ?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_2


It's also good for the folks that steal your soda from the company fridge. Just put a drop on the lip of the can. Even if the culprit wipes the rim, they won't get it all. The soda will slowly increase in heat.

This is an excellent way to root out who the culprit is too.

My god, if it wasn't so expensive,I would be buying that for all those reasons and more!!

Not surprisingly, I can now put a plate of brownies in the lunch room with a note "Enjoy - gikitiki". At the end of the day, every brownie will be there. :-)

But ... if you like heat, that one stopper will last you a lifetime. It adds very little flavour, only heat. So ... it's excellent for soups and stews that you want a little kick in.

So, the price is a little high, but it's a lifetime supply.

But I like the flavor too!!!

I could probably distil something similar. Hmmm!

I have 8 seedlings of Carolina Reapers growing currently. Perhaps if they take and bear some peppers, I'll send some your way. It's my first year trying.

They have a long gestation period and like warm roots. So, they are currently in a tent that's being held around 90°F/32°C. Fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed for you!! And if it works out, for me!! The hottest I have grown is scotch bonnets, which do really well on the window sill in summer!

Indeed as @captainquack22 said: "Some people deserve some brown tea." I was head of security for a benefit concert my frat was putting on in college (for Toys For Tots) when one of my guys found a half-full bottle of whiskey in one of the men's rooms. He asked what to do (no alcohol allowed). I told him to pour out a bit and replace it with some water from a toilet (unflushed if he could find one).

Oh that's good!!! You the man! It beats me telling my friend to replace his mad whisky drinking father's favourite whisky with tea and steal the real stuff for a party. I told him he would never be caught.

He was. Ouch

Haha, the thought of brown tea still makes me chuckle. College kids are ruthless. Thanks for the laugh guys! Keep rockin Boom.

I will do my very best!!

go Rim to Rim with it

The stintch of the rim, invisble to the eye, mad making for ones sniffer. And it will never come off. Anything that touches 'it', even ever so slightly, once, will be ruined beyond eternity. 🤣

Ruination!! The name of the game!! Hehe!

I was speaking to a Dutch IT security guy today and he reminded me of some of the things you say. He was very funny!

Seems that some media giant wants to go one step further. After the succes of the 'Roasted' series, the next big TV hit will be 'Rimmed!'. 🤪 (It will be behind a pay wall. And luckily there is still no 'smell' TV!)

We, from the other Lowlands, do seem to have some wit hidden up our sleeves, now and then. 😁👌(And be smart about some stuff too at the same time, hahaha.)

On another subject... There will be a ferry line between Scotland, Rosyth, and the North of Nederland, Eemshaven, by the way. So Brexshit cannot stop beer moving out from the EU into Scotland and whisky moving back into the EU.

Hurray! 🍻😎

I'm really not OK with handkerchiefs and think they should be resigned to the 20th century.

Self-service, sounds good but does come with all manner of ball-ache. Our place is looking at options and I'm wondering if I'll be gone before the snot hits the fan - hopefully!

I agree, in the bin with snot rags!!

It's all the rage this self serve malarkey. Which is fine if you actually allow them to do everything but in my place they will give them a shoddy halfway house and it will be murder!!

Run, run while you can!! :0D

Mingin they are!

Judging on the time it took elsewhere, I reckon I've got a couple of years to laugh at how things progress before slowly stepping away :)

That's what I did except for the slowly skyping away part. Yeek. I was charging with someone and they were like, reneger when we nicked the old codgers stuck in their ways? Now we're them. It was a horrific realisation!!

Next you'll have a pocket full of snot rags :O

As long as someone else can be blamed, best to just go along with it and pretend to be helpful I guess.

There is always someone to be blamed!

I will never have those rags in my pocket. Eeeww, gives me the herbs thinking about making the muck from my nose in a rag in my pocket. I'm what they call, a heavy producer!

I hate handkerchiefs! They are possibly the most disgusting thing ever conceptualized. Lol... and enough with the snotters already sheesh!! Haha

I can't!!! This is Scotland in winter, the page is full of snotters. That's what the mountains actually are, we just shovel the snotters into the countryside and they build up!!

HAHAHA omg EEEEUW!!!! I was.... WAS.... busy with my breakfast just now LOL

Haha! Well... I will try not to piss you off! Or at least not piss you off and drink coffee.

It at least bring your own cup... Hahaha!!!

Hubby and his mates used to do the tash, ppop tash lol ewww

Gaaarg!!!! It's still a good move though!! ;0)

A smelly one haha

Those are the best!

Snaggletooth, the image he conjures!

If there were three teeth more then you would have the measure of the man!!! Lol!!

You do work with some dodgy geezers! A scene from Oliver Twist!

It is like a rogues gallery here!! I think it has the most characters of any place I have worked

I can smell the snot. The cold, wet, yellowish green snot. Oh gooooooooood. I need something to drink right now. But not from a mug.

Not from a mug OR a HANDKERCHIEF!!!!! :OD

That too.

Heeuuurgh. To think that they must wash them. Perhaps with like other clothes...

I wonder what kind of poison works for snot. And if you put the handkerchief in to the washing machine with other clothes, will it just spread itself all over everything like paper handkerchiefs do if you forget one to the pocket and wash it. Tiny snot particles all over.

I think it would be worse, like it just flowing out into a gossamer thin film of mooky yukky snot, barely discernible and you would end up with it all over everything. Oh lord, I feel mildly nauseous!

Stop writing so darn well that you can practically taste the stuff in your mouth that you write of.

Haha! Well... I will try not to piss you off! Or at least not piss you off and drink coffee.

Ooo look, it's the multiverse! ;0)

I happen to have a Fifty/Fifty thermos, vacuum insulated, and it has a lid that screws on real, real tightly. :P
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It's the future!! I sees it!!

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