Ooft, that was a sore one.
My brother grunted as the car bounced over a pothole.
Yeah, sorry mate. The roads are terrible for potholes just now.
I said apologetically. Although, truth be told, the pothole had not been a particularly large one.
Aye, it's my arse though. Fucking killing me.
He winced and looked at me as if I knew exactly what he was going through.
Which I didn't.
Ever the detective though, I thought to subtly tease the information out of him.
You been getting humped up the arse by big hairy men? That why it's painful?
I asked diplomatically.
He made an outraged face as if he were getting humped up the arse by a big hairy man.
Fuck off you cheeky wee bastard. It's piles actually.
It was my turn to make a face, which I did with aplomb.
Eeww. You have been getting humped up the arse by piles of hairy men?
He snorted like a man who's arse was killing him and who's younger brother was driving him over bumpy roads in an old car.
Very fucking funny, you wee bastard. I've got piles, ok?
He grumbled, looking out the window as if embarrassed by his own anatomy.
Aw, that's rubbish. Don't worry though, I still love you.
He winced again, this time at the love word.
Very good.
He huffed.
I grinned. I love teasing my brother. It's one of life's few pleasures that for me has never gotten old.
Is there anything they can do for them?
I asked, my voice laden with sympathy and sincerity.
Aye, they gave me a cream for them. I need to apply it every time I do a shite.
Oh. That's... Pleasant.
I said even more sympathetically. Then I furrowed my brow in puzzlement.
Do you have to put the cream... Inside?
I asked delicately.
My brother shook his head in annoyance.
Well. If you must know, aye. A wee bit.
He looked embarrassed. As if the only fingering that brothers should discuss should be those of elaborate suspended minor guitar chords.
You dirty tramp. I bet you love it!
I exclaimed in delight.
Mate, you are disgusting.
He muttered sulkily.
I laughed.
My brother wasn't often right but sometimes he hits the nail right on the head!
If you really want to get to him, replace his hemorrhoid cream with some Vicks Vaporub. At least the potholes won't be bothering him that much anymore...
Warning: Do not actually do this! ;-)
I was just thinking, ouch. That would sting!!!!!
See what you did boom! You make a post about piles and public announcements start happening and now some see you next Tuesday needs her anusol! 😂😂
Posted using Partiko iOS
I saw it! I though, oh no, what have I done!! Lol!!
I have had it before and it isn't funny either . The name of your arse cream is though. One you will never forget. It's not a cream you would shout out for in the chemist either. Could you imagine someone shouting out one tube of "anusol "please.
Hehe, I have seen it. I haven't had the pleasure of asking for it yet, lol. He is in quite some discomfort so I probably should have sent easier on him but I ripped him all day!
You must be more careful at your age as sitting on cold things in a garage late on a Saturday night can lead to the hanging grapes.
Well if there are grapes a hanging them let us make wine!!!
You are one sick puppy , but it is funny. Not the kind of wine I would drink though.
Nor I, might stick to the prison wine!!
Anusol 😂😂😂😂
Posted using Partiko iOS
Now you know when you get piles what you need. It is not a name you will ever forget .
image source amazon.com
😂😂😂😂. There’s a business strategy right there . Bring out a pile cream not called fucking anusol!
Posted using Partiko iOS
Well now.. having some experience with these it depends how bad they are. They types that live inside your arse or the stringy ones that hang outside (Ooohhh, these are the bad un's)
If you really love your bro, you could have a look and tell him just how bad they are?
I do have one of those torches that you strap to your head so I am halfway equipped for it...
Eeuugh! Never!
And that sounds awful. I hope he doesn't have the stringy ones!
You should buy him a doughnut cushion with a doughnut print. They exist. Really.
I fear I am going to go into a dark place when I Google this!!
Lol, brothers are so evil sometimes. My brother, who is older than me, zapped me with one of them racket bug swatters. I had not seen one till that day, and he used to play racket ball. I saw it on the table and commented about it. He picked it up to show me, then proceeded to hand it to me. As I reached for it, that asshole turned it as it hit my hand, thus zapping me. It was not till after that when I saw the button on the side. Aside from shaking the tingle from my hand, listening to him laughing at his brotherly antic, my every other word to him was asshole. He's lucky I love him.
Oh man! he is a meanie!!! That's awful!!
My brother and me had many a set to, I think that's what's behind my teasng of him. I wonder if they are all the same!! Lol
Lol, that is very possible.
Maybe there is only one universal brother archetype and they are all of one. Oops, been reading to much Sci-Fi again!!
Lol, one never knows. And who doesn't like sci-fi? :)
No-one in their right mind doesn't like it!! ;0)
70 mumble years ago, we were on a farm, the neighbours dog was worrying the cows.
the old man caught the offending dog, wire brushed his bum, poured some turps on it and let the dog go.
did you know, a dog running on his front two legs and his bum can run faster than an 8 year old?
offer your elder brother this as an instant fix, it will wear the piles off
HAHAHA!! Oh my, he might not be so keen on that one!!
It's one of my hidden pleasures too!! It's impossible not to love! When I was younger it was kinda hard since my brother was bigger than me, making fun of him ended up in me getting hit in the face with a punch, but I still loved it every freaking time! Now we are both grown up, we still tease each other but without violence... well most of the times without violence xD You know how brothers can be sometimes :P
That ending was glorious!!
Ha, that's exactly the same as for me. In fact that's the cool bit, it's like revenge for all those fights when we were younger and he was bigger than me!!
LOL tell him to wrap a rubber band around them, they drop off then, not like I know. :-)
The idea that you can wrap a band round them I find horrifying!!
As shaggie sang "it wasn't me" :-)
Yeah, and we believed him then ;0D
Just what I needed, a story to make me grin from ear to ear! My son likes to tease his older brothers in just such a fashion, so much fun to witness every time hahahaaa!
Can't beat that grown up sibling rivalry!!! :0D
@meesterboom hello dear friend.
Hooo noooo Hemorrhoid is something that I would not want to anyone, it is very painful when it is fanned, luckily creams with silocaine can relieve a lot.
I wish you a good start to the week
I am hopeful I didn't have to be on the receiving end of the cream for some time!!
LOL. You're a filthy, cruel boy! Nobody makes jokes or plays with each other's hemorrhoids. Although I must admit that making brothers angry is a great pleasure. ;)
Haha, I am sympathetic to anyone else when they are suffering but yes, brothers deserve it!!!
▀
@garudi is a whack job cunt who has spent a few too many days off her meds. @garudi it's time to take a trip back to the hospital where you belong, they'll take good care of you there and make sure you don't harm yourself. Crazy cunt needs some meds!!!
haha! brothers are so good at driving each other crazy! I got three of them, used to fight like cats and dogs.
Oh o know them figures. Me an my brother fought like mad when we were young!
haha! And I bet you drove your parents crazy with all that fighting!
We did indeed!!
Love your brother who hit the nail to the head
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