What on earth are you up to?
The good lady enquired from the kitchen doorway.
I put the jar of home-pickled jalapenos down, chewing madly whilst making a dog drinking beer face.
The regime baby. Bingo wings gonna be gone.
She fixed me with an incredulous look.
Are you seriously telling me that is what you are having for your breakfast? Pickled jalapenos?
Yeah baby. Wasn't it Copernicus that said "Go big or go home?"
I stuck another one in my mouth wincing at the combination of wild heat and tarty cider vinegar.
You're nuts. You need to take care of yourself.
Don't worry lass, I am having coffee too.
I waved my hand smugly at my coffee that was brewing.
Eat something proper!
She rolled her eyes to the moon and back and stomped out. I put the lid back on the jar. Silly good lady. Didn't she know that to get rid of bingo wings and quivering moobs you had to take it to the max?
Since my awful bingo wings revelation earlier in the week I have been going full on boom. Sticking to a regime that is not for the faint of heart. I am fully determined to get quickly back to my recklessly handsome self so that I can wow the local wildlife and be accorded the respect that a man of such mannity deserves.
After my hearty repast of pickled jalapenos. (You should pickle your own, much better than that shop bought tosh.) I headed out to work.
The morning passed in a blizzard of caffeine, water and urinating and then it was lunchtime.
Time for the gym.
Although I have been a member of my cheapo gym for some time, I must confess, to my shame, that I have really not been going since the start of the year. Sleepless nights and birthday celebrations have put me off my stride a little. So it was fair to say that I didn't strut in with my quite my usual bullish confidence.
I decided to start with a little stretching. Ha, this was easy. I was slaying the gym!
I finished my stretching. Right. Time for this room to go boom.
The free weight section was quite heavily populated. I grabbed a couple of heavy dumbbells, winking at myself in one of the mirrored walls. I started to work out.
Ten minutes later, sweat was pishing out of every pore that I had and my arms were twitching like my old Aunt Hilda after a couple of vodkas.
I moved to the machines and managed another ten minutes. I noticed that my pre-ejaculatory gym groans had scared quite a number of people off.
I decided that enough was enough and I had made a good enough start.
Back in the office I feebly flopped around in my chair like a stranded jellyfish for a few hours letting out the odd whimper. Occasionally I mustered the strength to sit up straight and answer an email or two before escaping home.
On the way home I congratulated myself on an amazing week of sticking to the regime. Heck, at this rate I will be back to my old self in absolutely no time at all!
I opened the door to the family home and stepped inside. Immediately I smelled something amazing. Something spicy and cheesy and tomato'y. Like a zombie I followed the scent into the living room. The family were all at the table and before them was a couple of giant pizza boxes.
Daddy!
Both the little lady and the good lady shouted through melty mozarella mouths.
You joining us for some pizza Daddy bear?
I thought about the watery, shitey soup that I had been planning to have. As I did, the good lady waved a big slice of spicy devil pizza at me.
Pah, did she think me so weak? This was bingo wing removal week! There was no way I would fold and just eat giant clumps of melty cheese on a tasty pizza base with loads of toppings. No sirree Bob!
Daddy is strong! Daddy is fierce! Daddy is...
Grinning like a buffoon with a slice of pizza in his hand, chewing on a big corner of joy...
Ah fuck it, it's Friday!
SOrry to miss your musings this week (back in Florida- soaking in more sunshine!), but seems like you came to your senses! Fridays are definitely all about pizza! We have ordered ours already for a 7pm pickup tonight. THat's right, we ordered it 7 hours before pick up!! Very popular place - brick oven, fresh ingredients, and cheeeese.
Enjoy! and happy Friday, boomer!
Oh man, I love a brick oven place. Ours had that too. It's flipping magic!! Hehe, I hope you enjoyed that sunshine? And of course Emily the pizza when it comes!
sunshine was perfect...back to the aftermath of a horrendous snow storm...10 inches of heavy heavy wet snow - trees down all over the place, blocking roads, torn down wires. My sister and bro-in-law staying here cuz they have no power!
"Emily the pizza"....that's a new one to me ;0) lol
Aargh, Emily indeed. Flipping autocorrect on my phone!! Wow that's an awful state to come back to. At least you got away for some contrast. Summer will be here soon!
I'd say that lifting beer and pizza slices constitutes working the muscles ... right? And yes, beer tasting tomorrow ... might want to do the gym thing on Monday, lol. Have a wonderful evening! :)
IT does count! Heck, I might even end up being ripped by Monday!
lifting beer and pizza slices constitutes working the muscles - in the case of mr meesterboom I would agree!
Hooo, nooo, regimen dear friend @meesterboom, there is no worse thing than the regime when the weekend arrives, there are Fridays of pizzas and sausage bites, Saturday beers and pastas loaded with Sunday sauces, there are that to be a true hero to let these allowed happen.
This well-beloved friend, make yourself a permit today is Friday
I wish you a beautiful weekend surrounded by your loved ones
I have given myself a pass for today but am now worried you have reminded me of the beer and I might have to give myself a pad for tomorrow too!! Have a good one mate!!
I think you made the only good decision. It is Friday and you can do a lot with the little ones on Saturday and Sunday so the pizza fat will disappear at once!
It will, in fact I have decided to go easy on myself because I did do well during the week!
Chewing on a big corner of joy- poetry! Haha!
I have every faith that your mannity will prevail me boom, a bit of cheesy cheating can't hurt a man who pickles his own jalapenos, no sir!
What do you use for that? Funny timing, a friend of mine brought his own jar of pickled jalapenos for us to enjoy a couple days ago (though I enjoyed the cloves of garlic in the bottom far more haha!)
HEhe, occasionally I have put garlic in the jar but thats a whole different beast! I just wallop a pile of them in unfiltered cider vinegar. You know that kind that boasts about having the mother in it cos its all unpasteurised and stuff and then half a teaspoon of sea salt. Boom, amazing pickeld jalapenos!
The best bit about them as you might have found, is that they are not all smooshy like shop bought ones
what a post @meesterboom. today I am the organizer of bodybuilding competition. I think next time I'll write you name on the list
Reveal spoiler
I know you'll rock the stage
Oil me up, I'm there!
really
good writing, but I'm after reading it, like you're a philosopher. hopefully your work more successful
Success is what you make it!!! :0)
if willing please vote my post. sorry if i am not polite
Consider it done!!!
Consider it done!!!
Thank you friend.
HAHAHA thats funny... cause I'm pretty much doing the same (but with a beer instead of pizza) lol.. I should be working these damn flabs off me abs :(...but well put
Fuck it.. it's Friday!
I'll be in the beer later lol!! Cheers!
"Pizza is always a good idea" is the mantra in the Beneforti's family, but I use this "strategy" to help my hubby to take care of himself: during the week we eat pizza just if the day after we eat a veggie soup (he doesn't like too much the soups :P ).
Hehe, the soup has its place!! :0D
Mmnn...put the jalapenos on the pizza and you're golden...bada bing bada BOOM....you're golden :D
Funnily enough the pizza had jalapenos ones and onion on it. Mmm mmm!!
Pizza after some intense pre-ejaculatory gym groans! O yes! You deserve it!
I think I do!! Hehe! ;0)
Wooo a combination of spicy with vinegar that is strong! The most curious thing in the story is that after the gym, you are going to eat pizza! Of course it was Friday. I think I would not go to the gym one Friday, I would start on a Monday.
Yes indeed, that was the curious thing. I think I will be starting back on Monday !
Wow, your daily routine is quite an interesting one, upped. However will good whisky and beer allow you? However is Friday and just like my daddy, gentlemen need some good time too including some fitness...Lol.. I also enjoyed your Thursday with uncle boom...happy weekend
Friday's are special! Perhaps no whisky but certainly some beer, pizza goes great with beer!
And I can say daddy is a great racontuer ,what a flow in the storyline you are just good boss.
I do like to think so!
Pizza is the ultimate cheat day delicacy. No one will ever fault you for taking a bite of that sumptious, cheesy slice of heaven. All of those tomatoes that gave up their lives so that they could take part in the orchestra of spices, meat and vegetables. Onions, olives, ham, salami, all in concert to give your mouth an orgy! Aaaaannnndddd I'm suddenly holding a slice of pizza myself >.<
Wayhay!! It is one of the finest foods known to man!! I hope you enjoy dude!!
It was 2am when I replied this. If I say I enjoyed it, does that make me a bad person?
It makes you a king among men!
Oh, passing on pizza can really be gut wrenching but watching myself in the gym mirrors is worse!
Ah gym mirrors, almost as bad as changing room mirrors :0/
Very funny. I had no idea where this story was going but it ended really cool and I love Pizza. Although we cannot get great pizza here in Thailand I am told. Keep the funny stuff coming please.
Ah but Thailand has such other amazing delights!!
This is so true and I can enjoy them every day. In fact I am on my way now out to eat. Yaaaaay! Thanks and keep the humor coming sir. Very funny.
Such a good read! I missed your post @meesterboom ( sounds like Mr. Bean). Thanks for mentioning pizza which is something I would never get tired to eat. You got me really hungry tonight!
Mr Bean, lol, a fine comedian ;0)
Thank God it is Friday..time for the gentleman´s club however a gentleman need to look like a man too hence the need for some fitness ...hahaha. Am sure that the ladies will love it ...keep up the good work, happy weekend and cheers
Happy weekend to you too mate!
Have a good start to the weekend. Good to see that we are strong men when it comes to it!
Too bad it matters so little ...;)
Happy Friday!!!
Exactly. It's all about priorities!
Happy Friday!!
hahahaha you do not have the strength to endure that succulent and delicious pizza, goodbye to the exercises. :O
Lolm its only good bye for two nights hehe
Okay, but will it be that after two nights you will have the courage to return to the exercises? ;)
Of course! I will be back stronger than ever!! :0p
I love how you start going to the gym after some time and then celebrate your stretching. You are soooooooooooo right, we should celebrate the small viktories.
What would you say: Would you go to the gym more often if is was more expensive? This is a serious question for me as I am an enterpreneur now and I still struggle to find the right price. I am a lifecoach now and some of the people that contact me are people with disabilities. You mighz know that I have CP myself, so I really know how to build these people up. But the problem is: How do I help them without going banrot? - I say with the right amound of hope mixed with irony. The sensible way would be to let these poeple be and find my true meaning the payingcostemers. I am on a quest to find those but I am still on a mission to include the others. Currently I am fundraising in the steemit comments.
Anyway what I really wanted to say is: I am of the oppinion that people would get more of my coachings if they paid more. Beacause they would put more effort in it. I think the same goes fot the gym membership. Would you agree?
I tend to agree. I went ore to my old gym which was more expensive but it was more luxurious. If it was two identical gyms I would definitely choose the cheaper one but if I thought I was getting abetter service from the other I would happily pay more!
I used to eat raw jalapenos all the time. My best friend at the time had a girlfriend that was constantly buying him jalapenos to see how many he could eat without wincing. We would have contests almost every day..... beer and jalapenos pretty much all day long.
That sounds pretty fabby to me!
Hello @meesterboom, these are the sacrifices that you must make to keep yourself fit ... and tomorrow ... ayyyyy tomorrow, it's the day to savor beers, OMG What will you do? Your Good Lady is going to be waiting, you're going to have to hide!... Well, two or three litle beers does not hurt, but it's important that you have the willpower to not drink many more ... Congratulations! That's the attitude: stay fit for the Good Ladies...Greetings.
I think hiding is the best option :O)
Yeah. I am a paleo CrossFit insanity certified freakshow, and even I go there on Fridays.
Not doing it is a capital sin, man. I swear it. Last day I read it somewhere in the good book. Kinda maybe.
Kinda maybe!! :O)
Food is a great way for bonding with your ladies. I am sure there will be the emptiness if you decide not to join. You made the right decision to not only satisfy your tastebud temptation but also to have a great pizza time with family. As for your body maintenance plan, a few days will not make us Mr Universe. There is always tomorrow and tomorrow as well as tomorrow! ;)
All our tomorrow's! :0)
Friday Pizza night! Homemade in a wood-fired oven with lots of cheese! A cold beer to wash it down with! What's not to like about Friday night? Start with the bingo wings on Monday...
YEah, Monday is a good day for all sorts of things!
This was a true lol tale, funny stuff, people looking at me funny as I gaffaw at your writing! Well played! Screw it and go have a beer or two. I know I am
The beer is for tonight!! Cheers man
Meesterboom had succumbed to his own food desires but its okay because next week he is going to work out twice as hard.
Your family is so bad waving a pizza slice at you while you want to lose your bingo wings. Upvoted!
HAha, they will still be lsot, it just means that the weekend might not be the time to do it! :O)
Well spoken slice of life. Exactly. :-)) @bigskycustoms , after reading a couple of my @beersaturday submissions, stated that I was "starting to follow the @meesterboom school of writing". Ha! I followed the lead and tracked you down. I'm flattered he said that. Really enjoyed your stream of...what life is. Thanks for the smile.
You are very welcome!!
Well hats off to you that you could last a week. I start on a Monday morning at 8 and at 10 I decide there are so many things that I still want to eat.... and then we wait for the next Monday again. As always you made me laugh - I think you must just embrace the wings, this sound like a lot of work.
Embrace the wings... Never! ;O)
Please what softwear do you use to design your graphics, I like your content most especially the graphic a on your page, please find time go through my blog. I need your support.Manny thanks @meesterboom
I use a selection of android apps to isolate the background then to paint them to make a cartoon effect :0)
Upvoted
one must remember that what once goes in the body, must come out of the body...eventually. For some reason, jalepenos seem to get stronger on the way back out...if you know what I mean!
I know what you mean although I wish I didn't! Lol!
The story is very impressive, it's like the story of each of the amazing experience. There are lessons that can be taken.
Thanks for the story has shared.
May your days always good.
Dad is the best
health is wealth
ahaan @meesterboom on his way to becoming macho man! :p
Haha, yes indeed!
pizzaaa pleaseeee!!!!
I'd have been flopping round in my chair after the jalapenos never mind the free weights lmao - I may also have had enough energy to raise my arm to get pizza in my mouth...... but only just! A good day was had lol
As long as you have the strength to reach up to your not everything will be ok!
Melted cheese and toppings will always win!
Oh yes indeed!
I am 33 years old and sometimes I run to the minimart and buy 3 different types of chocolate, pringles and other chips and I eat it all together.
Fuck the regime, life is too short!
In nature, everything is wisely thought out and arranged, everyone must do his own thing, and in this wisdom - the supreme justice of life
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