I was back in the Glasgow office today. The camaraderie and holidayishness of the last couple of weeks in Edinburgh now just a fading memory, like the itching after that time I shaved my happy sacks.
It was with a heavy heart I opened my mailbox. It was creaking at the seams with unread emails demanding URGENT ACTION and meeting invites. The invites writhed venomously in my inbox like a nest of snakes.
With great reluctance I started accepting the ones I couldn't avoid.
I appear to be in the minority but I have always been of the mind that it is better to do something rather than meet and talk about doing something.
After ploughing through some mails I went to the first of many meetings armed with my trusty notepad and pen.
I have a thing about notepads. I like a good one. One with good pages, preferably unlined, so that when I get bored I can draw things and pretend to be arty yet also look as if I am thinking out of the box if someone challenges me.
Like the time in a strategy meeting I drew a giant skeleton standing on a bed of skulls holding aloft a scythe dripping with blood.
What are you doing there?
Asked some ponce annoyingly.
This? Oh, it helps me elucidate my thinking.
The ponce backed off, no doubt to look up the word elucidate.
So, today was spent running from one meeting room to another, nodding and looking sage when people talked technology.
It was in between such meetings that my fourth coffee of the morning was pressing insistently at my bladder like a dog pushing at the door to the beef cupboard.
I had my notepad under my arm and my pen in my mouth like a jaunty cigar and saw a toilet nearby. I pushed open the door to go in. It had two doors like an air-lock. Obviously required if you have ever experienced the eye watering stench of your average IT workers Chelsea whoppers.
As I was opening the second door another guy was leaving, he had a contractor pass around his neck. He stepped back to let me through. His gaze took in the notepad under my arm and then trailed up to the pen in my mouth.
Hey hey, what's going on here then? What you up to with them?
He seemed to be serious.
I took the pen out of my mouth and gestured toward my notepad with it.
This? Oh, I am just going to sketch some cocks. You up for it?
The guy staggered back as if I had just struck him soundly across the face with my meaty bangstick.
Wha'... What?!?
His face jigged about like a ferret was under it looking for a mouse.
At that moment the door behind me whapped open and someone else tried to come in. I recognised him, it was Joob Joob from my floor. He was an alright guy.
Aye aye, what's the hold up? Is there a queue?
Asked Joob Joob jovially. Men often do get a bit jovial in the throne room. I have no idea why.
This guy wants me to draw a picture of his cock?
I replied incredulously.
What? What the hell man, are you a bloody pervert or something??!
Cried Joob Joob.
I certainly did not!
Said the pervert contractor.
Bloody did so.
I said defiantly as the guy shook his head and pushed past out the door.
I bloody didn't!
He yelled over his shoulder.
The door slammed closed. Joob Joob laughed.
Winding up the contractors again?
I winked.
Yep. I just can't help it!
Tooo many meetings, these days & I hardly read posts but I didn't have such an extravagant drawing session as You had. Joob Joob & Toilet man 🤩🤩🤩.
Actually, on top of our must meetings, we have Our Extraordinary story happening as friend of Ours met us, with extrasense lady, doing miracles in curing people. So, we are undergoing treatments and I'm passing through curative crisis & deep cleansing...
So, those classical, only body attached persons, that think there is physical body only and not subtle, think I'm crazy writing this...
Well that sounds dashed fascinating! Are you feeling all the better for it I presume?
There are far too many meetings. I say ban them! :O)
Yes, too many. I feel better now, she is an expert. But when body has too much garbage, in the process of improving crisis is happening, but is not necessary, depends...I was coughing so much, like dog is barking for 3 days. And now, everything stopped. Like nothing was.
We are in that area, so nothing can surprise us...
That is awesome! There is nothing worse than a bad cough!
This all reminds me of the current season of HBO's Silicon Valley which just ended...They have successfully started the new internet (on blockchain of course), but the guy they've screwed over (who screwed them seasons before and lots of back and forth etc) whose name is Gavin Belson, has been trying to launch a new product for his company.
Gavin Belson has an oversize ego...
Here's his signature logo that he thinks is awesome
so silly, too funny.
Oh my that is awesome. I definitely have this on my list to watch.. that only makes it even more up my alley!! I wonder if I could get my signature to do that!
You are indeed a madman.
btw, what's that you're drawing in the image at the top? A cloud, right?
It is most definitely a cloud. Kind of...
OMG...this brought back an embarrassing memory... we got invited to a cockfight down at the corner bar, found out my brother was the local champion ... thing is stupid me, I thought they were talking about roosters!...OMG it was a betting game and the winner was the one with the longest slong!...was my face red.
upvoted and resteemed
Lol. Oh dear, that is hilarious. I am glad it was length and not who could also slap the other the hardest with it!
LOL! You're the Devil's own, @meesterboom - I love it! :D
Hehe, Oh it was fab, the guy was appalled!! :OD
I don't doubt that, lol. :D
Hehe, that will learn him!
Finger Painting, advanced course.
Don't you like contractors in general?
I dont mind them, some of my friends are contractors so I love to tease them because they get paid in trucks of gold for almost nothing :O)
ahhhh............ those were the days...........
Lol!!!
you are quite the trouble maker, I like that. and a quick thinker as well, although I often wonder if your quick thinking in your stories have the benefit of stewing over what quick witted things come out of your mouth in these great stories. But then I know that can't be true, that you are indeed quick of witty comebacks!
Lol, I am very witty of the comeback. I am notorious for it. Although to be fair it has gotten me a little in trouble in the past :O)
Id like to think the same for myself but I am sometimes at a loss until later for a good comeback.
Oh same here, there is many a time I think of something later, fortunately there is many a time something just splurges out too!
Did you see my tagbif you for the music challenge?
A tagbif! I have never even heard of such a thing!
fat fingers. or did I just create a new word??/ you can use it in one of your stories and say it is something dirty.
I'm so glad you referred to it as "that time" you shaved the happy sacks. We only ever do it once. The itching and rawness are not worth a return affair.
Bahahaha Reminds me of that scene in the movie Super Bad where the kid talks about his addiction to drawing dicks.
Oh the itching! Its mental. I mean what are we really thinking, whatever it is its not righ and its not worth it!!!
LMAO! You up for it? You got me spilling beans down my trachea,Joob Joob certainly didn't help the situation.😂
If he was faster on the draw than me as it were he could have said yes and foiled my tease!
Really, Mr. Boom! I can't imagine what would possess you to do such a thing...
You just have too much fun at work. Do you manage to do some actual work? Oops. I forgot that is a dirty four letter word not to be mentioned in polite company...
Work... at work... Oh my goodness me, what on earth good would that do!! :OD
your days are never boring dear friend @meesterboom, you always find the way to have a good time or rather the person to have a good time.
Another excellent book dear friend.
I wish you a great night
I think when my days become boring I will take the long walk into the night!! Cheers @jlufer!
And that is how you quickly find out if someone has a sense of humor- if someone played that with Howie, he wouldn't deny it, he'd challenge the person to fit it all on one page! haha!!
Hahahah and exactly. Thats what I was kinda expecting. Contrary to what I write I get on with a fair few folk in my work and the ones I like would have said Oh aye man, wait till you get a swatch of my tadger!
But others, ah well! :OD
Swatch of my tadger! LOL
Ah, poor buggers- to take life so seriously would be absolute misery!
Man, how could you... how can you... where the heck do you get these lines from? Do you happen to have the Lost Infinite Gem of Catchphrases???
Lol, or I could just be a foul mouthed bastard!
That poor contractor. I bet he felt a right dick after that ;-)
Haha, I think so!!
I think that contractor does not go back into that bathroom or at least he will make sure that you are not there ... I see that you get along well with Joob Joob ... "The King has returned to his throne in Glasgow, with his enchanted pen and his crown, and his subjects already began to tremble because he came wanting "joder" (fuck around) ...flee from the kingdom!
Hehe, my Spanish teacher was horrified when on day one I asked him to teach me a swear word. It ended up being joder!
Yes, it is a word widely used in Spanish.
And in Scotland now! ;0D
It was a crazy day, wasn't it? Everything had to do with your notebook and what you were going to draw, in addition to your bladder about to explode, it is curious that when you are in a hurry to do something always appears against time
It's true, so true. When you are desperate something always happens to delay you
What the, meesterboom!! You are putting words into his mouth and I understand this so that you can get away isn't it? Upvoted!
I love putting words in people's mouths!
Yeh I prefer doing stuff than talking about doing stuff too XD The last big job I did (ages ago now) after the first meeting they would try to rope me into subsequent ones and I'd be like "does this directly impact front end? No? Well I'm going to keep hacking then tell me if anything important comes up." Nothing ever did.
That conversation in the toilet! I guess you'd well and truly have a reputation as a stirrer now XD
Oh my reputation as a stirrer is rock solid! It's so bad that sometimes I half wish it wasn't!
And the meetings, the endless meetings. Some folk have nothing better to do. My fear is that I will end up one of them!
Hey you could make the meetings "more interesting" then XD
I try my best already!!
A drawing of you would be cute., I die of laughter with your imagination and what you could draw.
you always wear your shield and your sword for any situation!
in the bathroom you may have had freedom to make your drawings, but in the throne chair there are controversies
It is a room of the controversies!! Lol :0D
And the big stirring spoon is still working.... but what exactly did he think one does with a pen and notepad. It is like my kids - attending school on computers has made writing and books a foreign concept
I suspect he wanted me to write a novel with him as the star!
With a drawing of his penis on the cover? Hahahahaha
I think at your workplace they must think your are a creepy weirdo.
Or they lust after me with sordid wanton thoughts. Imaging my meaty chaff pipe hosing them down.
That's what I like to think :0)
Sounds interesting-your day. Some days you just ask yourself for one serious thing you have done that day in office- you can't tell. Nice to know how you spent yours... Maybe tomorrow will be more productive.
✊✊✊@meesterboom
Maybe it will, maybe I will get some sketching done!
The contractor dude will learn to mind his business. 😂
You're really a good descriptive writer.
Thank you. You should see how descriptive I can get with those who comment but dont vote on my posts!
Hehe ☺. Please don't get descriptive with me. Why I don't bother voting is because my vote is not even worth a penny. So I think that the recipient would find it rather annoying.
When I grow my SP, you'd see my fingerprints on almost all quality contents.🌈
Trust me, they don't find it annoying. They find it annoying when people give excuses not to vote but comment instead.
I'd buy the Boomers book when/if he ever decides to make one!
love to read your story, thanks for sharing...
Thank you for reading :O)
I had to Google, elucidate, I'm such a ponce. 😔
Lol!
Glad to see that everything seemed like you never left, Vincent Van BRO. Reading this got me missing those menial meetings. They always provided me opportunities to flex my drawing muscles. I remember I already had a whole comic sketched out in a notepad for a stretch there. Three pages worth of notes and 97 pages of action suspense and all that jazz haha! Good times, good times.