And what size would you like?
The girl in the shoe shop beamed at me as she said this. She was young and stonkingly pretty, dressed in what looked to be shredded Christmas crackers and boots that could survive a moon walking.
She is a size one, ta.
I looked down at the little lady who was jiggling about like an ADHD mentalist looking at the vast range of shoes on display in the shop.
We had gone shoe shopping for trainers for the Little Lady. She was very excited as she loved getting new shoes and almost instantly fell in love with some crazy-looking blue things with chunky heels that lit up when you walked. A size one, your feet look bigger than that! Shoe-girl laughed like water gurgling down a drain and gave me a playful shove. I grinned whilst resisting the impulse to drop an elbow on her for invading my personal space. Haha, aye. A one would be a tiny bit too small. Oh, I bet it would. Shoe-girl said playfully and eyed me up and down as if I weren't old enough to have fathered her mother. She tossed her hair and headed off to the back to fetch the required shoes. In mere minutes she was back and unboxing the gaudy light-up trainers that I was absolutely certain would horrify the Good Lady. Whilst she knelt and deftly tied the laces on the Little Lady's feet she looked up at me brightly. Were you out at the weekend? She chirped, her eyes fastened to me like rivets. Erm, no. Quiet one this weekend. Fucking hell. This was like my younger days where I felt the need to say I had been clubbing in blah blah blah and had been mashed out of my tits listening to DJ Spunk or whoever. Which would certainly have been more exciting than telling her I had spent the last two days stripping wallpaper in my bedroom. Would you like to stand up for me and see how they feel? Shoe-girl addressed this to the Little Lady and I was glad that her laser-like attention had been removed for a moment. The Little Lady did a funky dance then jumped up and down tenteen times. I love them! I love them!! They are amazing!! Can I get them, Daddy? She boinged about with an energy that I wished I could bottle. Aye aye. Come on, let's go pay for them. Both Shoe-girl and the Little Lady happily clapped their hands in unison and we were led off to the till to part with all the moneys. Did you know if you open a loyalty account with us you get a fifteen per cent discount on your first order? I just need your email address. Oh aye, fifteen per cent? That would do nicely. I gave her my sensible email account and not the boomykingofthemadfuckers one. So, you just need to give me the code in the welcome email you get. She looked expectantly at me. Oh yeah, two ticks. Just get my phone out. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stabbed my fingerprint on it to open it. It opened on my hive feed and I tapped the home button. For a microsecond, I hesitated as I tried to remember which direction to swipe for the screen with the email shortcut. It's your email, see? To my absolute horror, Shoe-Girl's finger pounced onto my phone screen and swiped it left then right, finding my email before stabbing at the icon. Uhm?! I tried to speak through my flabbergastation that she would actually touch my phone when the unspeakable happened. It should be right at the top. Ah here we are. Shoe-Girl deftly swiped my phone out from my astonished hand and flicked at the mail from the shoe company, tapping the code from the email into her screen and handing me the phone back. That will be thirty-four pounds, please! She smiled at me as if I weren't a geriatric old man that she had had to help with his own phone. I closed my open mouth of astonishment, paid and left with the Little Lady. Can we get ice cream? The Little Lady skipped along happily with her new shoes. Erm, yeah, why not. I numbly responded. Wasnt it really nice of that girl to help you with your phone? The Little Lady giggled as we walked toward the ice cream place. My head was still reeling from Shoe-Girl's phone jacking. I opened my mouth to tell the Little Lady that it wasn't really nice and in fact, I would be going back there to set Shoe-Girl on fire and throw her in a bin. Yes... Very nice.
trainers = sneakers in case you were wondering. If what I believe to be a "sneaker" is actually correct!
Dude! Very disrespectful - Impatient zoomer! she was probably just in a hurry to wrap up the sale and once on her next victim to up commission rates. I have been there. But what happened to customer service? And just plain decency. People are too in a hurry these days. We need to push home to chill out and be human.
Also, i think this is a great look for you:
!LOL
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She must have thought she was delivering great customer service. She never even acted like there was anything untoward!
I like the wartime look :OD
Be lucky she didn't go thru your photos while she was on it... love the "other" email address... my alt email address is jesusfartsalot..
Jesus does fart a lot 🤣🤣
I am almost surprised she didn't log onto my hive account and do a powerdown! :0D
That's pretty bold to touch someone else phone, especially nowadays. Covid and the whole germ scare aside, it's a huge invasion of privacy.
I never even thought of the COVID thing. Yeah, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I am now questioning my youth and worrying I seem like an old fucker 🤣🤣
I have not even heard about it in the previous few months in my country (in Hungary). The mask is still required to wear in the hospitals, but other than that, the life is returned to normal.
It is normal here too and thank goodness for that. It is nice to get out and about and see people again!
Doing anything while someone is watching you though is nerve wrecking haha. Its a lot of pressure. Half the time I can't even speak when I'm out in public. Someone asks me a simple question and I completely freeze up.
"Would you like a bag for that?"
Me: ... ... (in head: oh God someone is talking to me. Quick think of something to say) ... "Oh no thank you."
Walks out of the store juggling 9 items. "Fuck. I really needed a bag for all this stuff."
Also. Why would a person ever want to touch someone else phone? That's like the dirtiest item I can imagine. I assume that all phones are covered in a thin layer of human excrement - shit and jizz, and strange mucus membranes. It's disgusting
😂
Haha, oh lordy that sounds to what I am like too. The hesitation stumbling and mumbling sometimes when someone asks you a simple thing!!
I can only imagine what phones are covered in and I bet it is exactly like that. Imagine licking one!! Yeek!
Haha what would be worse licking a random person's phone or the inner window of a subway train... hmm that's a tough one.
The subway train might win. There are some grubby shenanigans going on down there!
😄 Loved it! And that image is ingenious as usual! 😂
I was quite happy with that image! If it makes me chuckle it's good enough! :0D
😄 yeah!
Her daughter had a great time, her eyes were on her before she regretted paying for her new shoes and the saleswoman was doing the same, so she wouldn't lose her business, I imagine the moment usually happens, When I have gone to buy shoes and I attend someone younger always flutters you like bees thirsty for honey they put you as 5 models around to see what you decide and when you finally decide, one of them put the forms of payment in front of your eyes almost take your cell phone out of your hands to make the mobile payment without error and "zuas " sale done. ...I think that this behavior is systematic everywhere.
Anyway, the best thing is the joy of your baby with her new shoes and sharing with a delicious ice cream "thanks daddy, now I am happy".
She was very happy with those shoes and never even noticed I was in shock for most of the ice cream 🤣🤣
How nice your life extension, your daughter is a girl who loves life, her dad, ice cream, and being bought new shoes...that sounds great, it takes me back to my childhood with my dad buying me everything, me begging, and dad paying my bills hahahahahahaha time flies by, enjoy with all your heart these moments that will be unforgettable for both of us....
She does love the life. I am going that I don't have to be paying bills for her but you know what it's like, it will probably happen!!
Oh yes, it will happen...🦋
yea, I was reminded of my dad and mom and my first visit to the shoe shop to buy the red shoes I wanted so much.
Those memories are never lost sight of and even more so if the pair of shoes is red.
Touching someone's phone without their express permission seems a little presumptuous! What's up with young people these days. Do they think we oldies don't know how to work thing? Oh and I know how it can make your heart lift when a young lady seems to take some interest in you, but I know it's just because you remind them of their granddad.
I think my kids went through a phase of wanting the light-up shoes. They never had those ones with the wheels though. Now they're old enough to buy their own footwear.
I was utterly utterly flabbergasted. I like to think of myself as quite techy and there she was, just assumed I had no idea how to find my fecking email!! I am half surprised she never finished the job and used Google pay for me!! Lol
We have managed to steer clear of the ones with the wheels as I think that is a gimmick too far!
You haven't lived until you get them with wheels. Careening down the shopping aisles, stopping on a dime before you knock grannie off her pins.
Oh, you meant for the Little Lady.
Perfectly respectable. She would love them!
She has repeatedly said how much she wants them. I was put off getting them because we got her some fancy trainers before and she didn't like them after wearing them a few times and now refuses to, hence the new ones after some time. She had better start saving if she wants more!
I can feel you. I am over fifty and the younger gen makes me feel like I am out of 'touch' No pun intended.
They do, don't they? I turned 50 this year and they treat you like a geriatric!!
Very gentlemanly of you to be so polite after the phone-jacking by the over-zealous girl who's heading for burnout, literally !
I bet if she does that to a woman, there'd be a real cat-fight on.
However, I'll now be scanning the headlines - 'manhunt on for girl found in bin.'
Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle @meesterboom 😜
Hehe, I will have to get ahead of the manhunt!!
Maybe the young uns have no concept of space anymore. Maybe she really did think I was a dottering old fool! Grrr 😀
"Can we get ice cream?
The Little Lady skipped along happily with her new shoes."
She sounds like someone I'd get along with well. Ice cream is always a must, and one should always be excited about new shoes. I would join her in the skipping 🌈🍨
She is a very happy young lady that knows what she wants! I love that she is who she is!
Glad to see a father that's proud of his daughter and her strong personality 😊.
@technicalside take notes my love 😉
Note taken love📝📝😘..
Hehe, it is the only way!
It can be right challenging though as she is so strong minded!
@meesterboom that's exactly what you want! Atleast after being burned out having fun with her.. The sleeping is great😴😴😂😜
Oh those are the days one wishes to turn the clock back a decade or three! 😁
Two decades. That would be just perfect! :O)
I like this story, man. I hope you didn't do what you had in mind because that girl looks like she has a lot of years to live 😂😂.
She is free to live the rest of her life!! This time... 😱🤣🤣
Hahaha the cheek of that, I've never had someone take my phone before. It goes against the unwritten rules of common courtesy.
Setting her on fire and throwing her in the bin may be a bit harsh of a penalty though haha
!PIZZA
The penalty has to match the crime!! Will, maybe not in this case. For a moment that's how it felt!
Just a flash of rage. I think a fitting crime would be to go and tell her manager she touched something private of yours and you felt violated hahaha
I did actually nearly name the list she touched my thing... Lol!!
Hehe, my company has rules and policies on what to do if a person of authority asks to see your phone/laptop. (Police, Customs officials etc etc). I wonder if I should ask them if there's a policy about which type of martial arts is appropriate if someone actually takes your phone away from you without permission?
The claws will be coming out!!!
Source
Especially if the are insinuating that you are too old for tech!!!!!
That picture is exactly how I felt!!! The hands of justice were ready to strike!
Can you imagine seeing a girl like that, she would be all over your mails and browsing history and everything in between!
Wow, how rude lol. People should really ask first before they go yanking your possessions out of your hand. You may get shot or shanked round these parts for that. It has crossed my mind a time or two that as I approach old old age ( seeing as I am simply old now....not old old) that help may well be needed to even navigate our beloved Hive. And damn those youngsters who can do everything so quickly and efficiently lol
I think a shanking was almost on the cards!! The young shall inherit the earth they say but I like to think... Not quite yet!!
hahaaa....not today, tadpole!
I give you another day of life!! :OD
This is weird, She got guts, She got some boldness laying her hands on a customer phones, Anyways it actually projects that she's into you which is no bad thing 😏 much men don't get that this days, for a man old enough to fathered her mother. If you would ask me I'll tell you that you are a lucky man plus i sensed in this content that you always were picking little interest in her which is not a bad thing.
Now after seeing this;
Fifteen percent discount that is hugely surprising, I wish we had stores, or boutique down here who can actually give such a discount.
15% was excellent! I was happily surprised. Almost enough to not mind her manhandling my phone!
The exuberance of youth! :0D
That's right 😂
Hearing this, I think she would stop talking to you 😁
She would have. I am too embarrassed about it to even look myself in the mirror!
Hi @meesterboom Haaaaaaaa ,the saleswoman does what she wants with you haaaaaaa, next time shut your mouth and refresh your brain :)
I could barely open my mouth in shock!!lol! 🤣🤣
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Ah the naive girl that she is, thankfully you didn't end up being a perv and had all kinds of porn and dick picks splattered all over the place! Jeesh, the nerve on those young fucks. Lol
I thankfully haven't had to have an experience like that with a young lass, though I know it's inevitable to happen and I will smack my phone right out of that little shit's hand, damn it!
I can see it now. You will both be staring at the shattered phone on the ground thinking fark!! for different reasons! :OD
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
This is one of those moments where I'm grateful that I'm getting old without a kid around to innocently drive home the point.
I want light up trainers, too. And ice cream.
Heh heh, light up trainers can be cool! Especially now. They light up in different patterns dependent on the stamping motion!
Yeah, I sound like a Scooby doo villain but those damn pesky kids! :OD
I do believe the proper term for such footgear is "tenner shoes."
My god man, I have never heard of those!
Lucky her you're with your daughter. 🤦🏻😹 Tsk! The audacity! Tweak her hair for me lol 😹
I was fair tempted to tweak her hair. After I picked my jaw up from the floor. lol!
No way!!! Did she touch it without permission? How dare she! I mean, really, how dare she? Has she never heard of COVID? That is gross too. Do you know where her hands were last?
I mean she seems quite presumptuous, so you just don't know. They could have been on another man's handheld device. Ewwww.
She was probably thinking you should be thanking her for saving your day. Hello, little girl, think again. BTW: Old enough to have birthed her mother. Haha! OMG. I feel like I have to take this post home... in case some young person reads it and knows this is a no-go. As if it wouldn't be.
Go for the wheels! :)
I like to think it isnt often that I get speechless and I just found myself staring in horror as she tapped and swiped then handed me it back. All with such a blase air as if she was helping a dottering old pensioner.
She probably thinks it was a good deed for the day. I can see her now telling her flatmates that she helped some old guy find his email on his phone! The cheek!
I had my booster the week before last, I feel super immune to Covid. At least for a few weeks :OD
Yikes !
Hijacking your phone was WAY over the line. Although I'm not a tempered person nor prone to public dramatics, that wouldn't have gone over well at all with me and I doubt I would have let it slide.
Those shoes though, sound amazing. :)
The shoes are super funky! Even th emissus likes them after all.
I would normally be quite scathing but I was ao gobsmacked I was speechless and that doesn't happen often!
It probably was for the best in truth that you were speechless since you had the Little Lady with you. Sometimes there are other considerations, but still....
Yeah, it's murder sometimes when out with the kids and something happens that I am desperate to yodel swearity words all over the place about!
"yodel swearity words"
😂
😀😀
Thanks for the morning laugh! Human behavior will never cease to surprise. : ) It's so weird having these glimpses of what it'll be like to be a senior citizen in middle age. I'm noticing since my hair and beard have started to go grey that more young people are calling me Sir in public...unless my tattoos are showing and then they almost always refer to me as Man instead of Sir.
I have heard the odd sir, it makes me double take and think wtf!? Who me?
It's a strange thing as demographics are meant to be changing and generations are getting more with it as they get older and yet stereotypes remain. I still feel like a bonkers 30 treat old!!
Same with me! Every single time. Just get some tattoos and roll up your sleeves and they'll call you man instead of sir.
Maybe it's all the caffeine I consume but I actually feel better at 51 than I did in my 20's but the mirror reminds me. Lol.
I have one biggish tattoo on my upper arm but given the Scottish weather it is most often hidden away. I have actually recently started thinking of getting another, I do quite like them!
Could be the caffeine, I am the same right down to the mirror. I am like, how the funk did that happen!?
They're addictive! I didn't get my first until I was 45 in 2016 but ended up getting a full sleeve on one arm and a half sleeve on the other. It's high time that I get some fresh ink but I want to wait until I can go overseas and get one over there.
Aging is weird isn't it? It seems like you spend half your life looking like you're 30-ish and then all of a sudden BAM, people are calling us Sir....WTF!
They are addictive. I got mine when I was 35 I think, I had to fight the temptation to get another right away but the thought has always been lurking in my mind! A full sleeve and half sleeve, that's awesome!
Yeah, fuck aging. Thats what I say!
Should have done the right thing and had a public meltdown; full Karen. They would have recorded it. That helps create awareness.
I think I could do quite a passible Karen style meltdown!!
So good I wouldn't be able to say I was kidding!
"Phone rape!" "Phone rape!"
Haha, she touched my thing!!!
Swiper, no swiping!
No pokey poking at it!!
You are really starting to push my buttons!
Lelli Kelly..., used to drive me up the wall! If I mention them now (she's 19) and start singing the Lelli Kelly tune, she storms off hehe...
Holy shit, there is a tune?! The damn things drive me up the wall the over priced things. They fall apart quite quickly too!! Fortiunately ours only cries out for them for her school shoes and not for trainers! I think that awful thing above will be seared into my brain forever!
Ah.. you should never have listened, it will remain forever in your head (as it's in mine).
I knew it even before I clicked. I kept thinking don't do it, don't do it!
But I always bloody do!
Cool story !LUV
Ta very much!
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LoL! How long were you taking trying to find the thing? XD
Though it was still very definitely rude, you always have to ask first, only exceptions are you've collapsed and she's using your phone to contact the ICE, or found it and was trying to return it (ICE feels a bit extreme in this case but it is a contact x_x).
It was a mere microsecond! You know that way where your finger hovers over something and you hesitate just for a tiny second. Boof, whipped out my hand and done for me. Rude bastard girl she was! And me, lost for words at the audacity of it!
I could have collapsed at the rudeness, lol!!
Are you sure it was a mere microsecond? 😜
Also aren’t you a ninja, reflexes of a rusty steel trap? 🤣
Thats me, a Sakura Killer, faster than a speeding latte!
It might have been less than a microsecond! :OD
How very dareth she?! That's almost as bad as reaching into your pocket to fish out your wallet! Definitely as bad as rifling through a woman's purse, the horror if it!
It is isnt it! Like taking my benjamins out and counting them for me! :OD
What a drag it is gettin' old... 😆
Don't sweat. You're not alone. The eleven year old has to help me with mine some days. 👍
Thats what it felt like! Being helped with the new fangled tech! LOL!
Smart phones and microwaves, my friend
No two alike.
Or it's us. I vote for the former.
I know I'm getting old because I don't trust the tech anymore.
"Tap?" They ask when I hand over my card.
"Nope." I say as I enter my pin. "I'm old school."
ps. I'm typing this with my index finger while the eleven year old makes fun of me. True story.
Lol, that made me laugh.
I use the swipey keyboard and it looks like magic to all involved. I like to think I am the techy guy although funnily enough. I am starting to distrust everything tech myself.
Fark! I hope it doesn't get worse and I end up one of those people stuck at the barriers in the train station trying to work out how to swipe/insert/present their ticket! :OD
Now you made me LOL.
The swipey keyboard terrifies me and I have to close everything to get rid of it or restart my phone. What is that anyway???
The tech is moving too fast. Trust no-one but the eleven year olds 👍
p.s. If you stay nimble you can still jump the barriers and you'll probably get away with it 'cause nobody will believe and old person could do it. #justsaying #thatstheplan
I love the swipey keybaord. I can "type" or swype at a furious rate. Unfortunately my typo rate is through the roof and many a message I have sent has caused confusion and people thinking I am more of a buffoon than I am.
The eleven year olds will probably be writing texts with brain implants soon and laughing at us all! :OD
Oh - typos can be brilliant 😁 I'd go with the flow for sure.
Yes they will. But they're already laughing at us. Hate to break it to ya!
They can touch you and your stuff, but you better not even look at them. That's what they said anyways. It's up to them.
I much prefer it when they don't touch my stuff!! :0)
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Glad she didn't open your private videos ( to put it nicely ).
Naughty shoe girl!
Lol. I tell you, she would have died of boredom!! :0D
Hahaha! Now that's a terrible way to die, almost as bad as death by tickling...
Tickling is truly evil! Unless you are under the age of ten, lol. They seem to love it!
I agree. Although, now I think of it, I didn't necessarily like it as a kid either. I have always been skinny and sensitive, I guess. I can still bring back the sensation of my dad tickling me. I sure laughed but am not sure whether I enjoyed it ( probably not ), it's not just something that makes you laugh, whether you want it or not. Weird!
Aw no!! Now I am hoping my kids don't hate it! Although the youngest tells me he loves a good tickling. The oldest is too old and instead likes a bit of play fighting. She gets some good digs in sometimes!
And here I thought you didn't mind torturing the little booms a wee bit? ;,)
what an amazing story, the little girl and the lamp shoes...😁
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STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Haha. It's like the Father Ted where Ted kicked Bishop Brennan up the arse and he pretended he didn't. Bishop Brennan was in a daze for hours. She did use my phone! Happened me once. Some work colleagues wanted to google something they took my phone off table and sure what was the last screen that I had open. Bloody pornhub. There's two types of people in this world. Liers and wankers and I'm no lier. I was proud of that speech while I took my phone back off the ladies and walked away with my head held high never to be in line for a promotion ever again.