It's been a long time since I've sat down to actually write a post of any substance.
Lately I have been feeling really frustrated and down with life, and I felt like I needed to get it out in writing.
On the surface, everything is still fine and "normal" as it has been, or at least as close as possible... One big annoyance lately though has been my job. I still enjoy doing the work, and most of my customers are good people who are easy to get along with and enjoyable to have a little small talk.
What is not enjoyable though is what happened last Friday. Basically, I had another surprise "inspection" from the government employees and this time it was a REAL inspection. Well, unsurprisingly, there were a couple little minor things they found, and while it's not on me (thankfully), it does mean the company (my boss) has to pay a fine.
Well, of course that has started quite the little drama, and my boss even tried to pin it on me, asking why I let them "find" me - why didn't I notice them "following" me (they weren't) etc.
I've put up with a lot of my bosses nonsense for years now, and over the last couple years he has calmed down and let me do my thing and get my work done. But now, he's back in this manic state of hyper-managing and I've reached the point where I don't think I can handle it anymore...
I was even remembering how last year when I was hit by a drunk driver and my truck rolled and I came *this close* to smearing my face on the asphalt, that he tried to suggest it was MY FAULT the accident happened when I was quite obviously 0% at fault to everyone else aware of the situation!!! And also how when he got my new work truck, he specifically got a truck that is slow and underpowered, because for some reason he has this idea that I was speeding (LOL) and that's why I was hit by a DRUNK DRIVER WHO WAS SPEEDING AND RAN A RED LIGHT 🤬. And just yesterday, I was almost hit AGAIN by some speeding idiot when I went to turn onto a street and they didn't even bother to hit their brakes and literally missed me by inches when they came out of nowhere! My sluggish truck was barely able to accelerate fast enough to get out of the way...
So anyways, along with that, my bosses son in law has been sick the past week or two with Covid, which meant I've been having to work extra to pick up the slack. Along with little things like general pandemic weirdness that people have started doing, I am just feeling burnt. out. Trapped.
It's funny, in a way though. This morning I texted my brother to vent a little, and he told me he's having to let a guy go and maybe I could come work with him. So I went over to the store today after work to talk about it. I told him that my main thing is that I just want similar pay and to not work six days EVERY WEEK. I've been working six days nearly every week for so long now, and I've realized lately that my one day off is just basically a day to try to get enough rest so that I have the energy to do another week... And then what??
That's another thing that's been frustrating me in life lately... No real goals or anything anymore. Just get up, work, eat, recuperate, repeat. I miss the days when I was in school and there were all kinds of goals and achievements to aim for, now in adulthood it's just an aimless stream of consciousness type of drudgery.
And to top it all off, my favorite "friend" who I love to hate was rubbing it in a little on how "little" I make. Bragging that he was making $25/hr years ago and how that's "not that great" for pay, meanwhile I'm getting by just fine on $18/hr... He makes six figures and still lives with his mom, meanwhile I bought a house this year so............
That's pretty much everything that's been bothering me lately though, hopefully getting it out of my head and onto paper will help my stress levels LOL