First things first..
I need to establish what I mean by "being happy" before you can decide whether this post will be useful for you. Happiness can be a very subjective word. Some people think of it as smiling, laughing and being in a state euphoria. Some consider it to mean being free from stress, and having no worries. Others would say it aligns with success, and being at a place where life is providing you with everything you need.
When I say, "how to be happy," I refer to a combination of the first two aforementioned interpretations. Regretfully, it is not within my power to remove negativity from your life. It shall always be there, I imagine. I wish I could, but I can't give you ten million quid and a hundred friends that would die for you.
What I can do, however, is share an understanding that, if you're able to adopt, will dramatically reduce the negative impact that the stresses of life are able to have on you. If you can share in my perspective, though it won't be easy, you will be able to find joy in the littlest of things that too many overlook because they are distracted by the worries and troubles imposed on us by "the system."
If this is something that you could benefit from.. Then keep reading.
Who the fuck am I to convince you of this?
That's a great question that you didn't ask. Though I'm sure a number of you would, and should, be wondering. I feel I am in a position to make a post such as this, not because I read some other article that explains why, but because I am in possession of an outlook that provides me with far more happiness than any other emotion.
"There must be something wrong with you."
"I think you might need help."
"You're crazy."
Above you will find three very common phrases that people say to me upon initially meeting me in person and beginning to get to know me. Whilst all of these comments may seem negative to read in textual format, to hear them in the tones they are offered to me, is to understand that they are most certainly not said with the intent of causing offense. More so, they are words of surprise and of confusion. The confusion spawns from an inability to comprehend how I am able to exhibit a positive attitude and air of excitement with almost every breath.
Once upon a time(about two years ago), Renee walked out of bed and into her living room to find her boyfriend Scott sitting in the corner, playing enthusiastically with her two-year old daughter's toys.
Unbeknownst to him at that time, she stood there and watched him for a few minutes, awestruck at his ability to entertain himself with toys designed for toddlers.
"Teach me," she interrupted.
Scott looked up at her with a smile on his face. "Teach you what?"
Renee smiled back and offered a response;
"To be high all the time."
Now that's a true story, and in case you haven't figured it out; I am Scott.
I chose to share this excerpt of my life because I think that closing sentence is an excellent way of describing my demeanor. My family are always accusing me of being stoned, and at least 90% of the time they are wrong. This is why I feel I am entitled to make a post such as this, and why I believe that I'm in position to help those who are willing to be helped.
Enough already! How do you do it?
Well I think it worth mentioning that I didn't always possess this attitude. I had it when I was very young, as so many of us did, but, I lost it somewhere in my teens, again--as so many of us do. I was lucky enough to regain it in my early twenties. I had some very dark times and was able to pull myself out of that prison of negativity, so I am positive that no matter who you are or what you have been through, you can do it too.
When it comes down to it, I believe there are three main attributes that you must learn to embody in order to conquer the ever-increasing stresses of life and allow yourself to become a vessel of positivity.
Gratitude
I will begin with the most challenging one. It can be difficult to focus on the things in your life that you should be grateful for, when there are so many things that you should be pissed off about. Focus is the important factor here. It is a skill that, just like any other, needs to be worked at and perfected. When you master it, you will have the power to remove your problems from thought until it is necessary for you to think of them. You will possess the ability to revel in the aspects of your life that are a cause for joy.
Now, I don't care who you are. I am confident that you have something to be happy about. If you're able to read this post, then times are not nearly as hard as they are for upwards of a billion others on this Earth. We have all suffered, some more than others, but we have all felt it nonetheless. It is our choice, however, whether to allow ourselves to relive that suffering over and over, or to turn to the positive parts of our life and feel thankful that we are lucky enough to have them.
It could be family. Not everyone has one, and you should feel lucky if you have others to share this difficult life with. It could be love. Not everyone finds it, and if you have, you owe a great deal of gratitude to yourself and to the universe for granting you it. Do you live in a country that is not in open war? You should be happy about that. Millions of people will be unable to sleep tonight for fear that a bomb may be dropped on their home. Have you eaten this week? Be thankful then. Millions of people have not. Are you alive? Life in itself offers so much opportunity. No matter how hard things may be, the chance is there, if you're willing to take it, to improve your own life and the lives of others.
There are countless reasons for one to feel gratitude, but the difficult part is being able to avert your attention from the less desirable aspects of life long enough to notice them. If this is something you struggle with, I would highly recommend meditation. It's a very efficient way of improving your focus, as well as being a natural way to lower cortisol(the stress hormone) levels in your body. A win-win situation for sure.
Embrace gratitude for all that you have that others do not, and you will smile a lot more.
Acceptance
Life can be hard. Things go wrong. People die. Friends and family will suffer injuries and emotional turmoil. You will have ups and downs. You might not be able to pay your bills. Or have the money to buy new things, or even food at times.
These are only a few drops in the ocean of obstacles that will come your way in life. If you are able to accept that however great things are right now, a problem is only around the corner, then you will be prepared for it when it comes, and its impact on you will be dramatically reduced.
Life is by no means perfects. You are going to be tested. By preempting the questions you can be ready for whatever is thrown your way.
Now please understand that I do not mean you should make physical preparations for any potential problems that might come your way. Whilst this may be helpful, I feel it would only serve to provide you with a pseudo-sense of security. It is impossible to prepare for every potential problem, and when one hits you that haven't provided yourself with a solution for, it would do far more damage than if you had prepared for none at all.
I speak of the adoption of a mindset that accepts the inevitable; that things are going to wrong. Perhaps even horribly wrong. Knowing this allows you to transcend unproductive bouts of self-pity when things get hard. Instead, you will be in a position to only allow yourself to think on your problems when you are addressing potential solutions. You will also be able to push the problems out of your mind and enjoy yourself when there's an opportunity to do so, instead of allowing them to overwhelm you and affect every aspect of your life. You need only think on those negative things when you want to, and when it is helpful to do so.
Accept that bad shit is going to happen, and you will take so much more enjoyment from the times when things aren't as bad as they could be.
Attention
This is the easiest one, for me at least, and I would say possibly the most important one too. There is so much fucking beauty in the world. You could never see 1% of if you spent your whole life looking for it. I find it to be of the utmost importance to take every opportunity to observe as much of that beauty as you have time for.
I don't mean purely aesthetic beauty. Though that's wonderful too. Marvel at the beauty of the female body-- or the male if that's what you're into. Go and find the highest point of your city and watch the sun set. Take some time to look up at the stars and the moon on a night of good visibility. Watch the clouds, and try and notice faces and animals or even boobs or penises in them. Find a reason to laugh at the randomness, and smile at the greatness of nature.
But look out for other types of beauty too. The smiles on the faces of passersby. The excitable wagging of a dogs tail makes me smile every time without fail. See the elderly couple holding hands in the park and smile at the fact that they have probably had one another to lean on for most of their lives. Then laugh at the fact that you could be wrong and the dirty fuckers might have met on tinder last night.
There's always something in your immediate surroundings to smile about. Choosing to give it your attention is all it takes to notice it.
Pay attention to the beauty around you and you will never be short of a reason to smile.
One last thing...
This won't provide you with a 24/7 smile. There are going to be things in life that no perspective can shield you from the pain of. The death of a loved one for example. What it can do for you is minimize the stresses of life, and allow you to choose what is and what is not significant enough to dictate your emotional state.
We must also remember to allow time to think of the negative, especially given that, with this perspective, you are able to do so without becoming crippled by negative emotions. Compassion is important, and that should never be forgotten. Think on the negative when you are thinking of how to turn it into a positive. Do more to help and you will only amplify the beauty you're able to take from the world, and strengthen your new perspective and increase those levels of happiness.
Like I said, it won't be easy. But, if you can do these things than I can assure you that one day you will find yourself struggling to remember the last time you were upset.
Then you have the people that walk around all day looking for things to be unhappy about.
For example, all of my ex-girlfriends.
Great Life..!
Good advice. I like the way you explain things .
What a fucking great post.
My family accuse me of being stoned all the time when it's only about a 1/3rd of the time. I don't see the point in being miserable it doesn't get you anywhere, being sad is ok when tragedy befalls you but unhappy........never.
Cheers dude.
Thanks, man. I agree. We just need better control over our minds. That's what they ought to be teaching in schools.
They're too busy teachings kids to be nonsexual left wing SJW idiots these days to teach anything that'll help them become rounded human beings. Don't get me started on education.....😂
I love your advice!
This is stoicism. I've been like this for years but never knew the term for it.
I just looked up the word and read up a bit on the old Greek and Roman philosophy. Does sound very similar to what I seem to have arrived at based on my own observations. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.
It is indeed a great idea to pursue happiness with all your might, because it brings peace, joy and every other good thing one could desire.Resteemed
Never lose the wonder in life. Be the hero of your own story and try to remain positive. : )
All I will say is..... WOW
🗅
meep
This post recieved an upvote from minnowpond. If you would like to recieve upvotes from minnowpond on all your posts, simply FOLLOW @azziz Please consider upvoting this comment as this project is supported only by your upvotes!
There's only one thing that brings results => ACTIONS
Set your goal! if being happy is your goal then decide what being happy is and look for the first step you can do to obtain it ^^
Please check my blog :D
@paps
These things are very interesting, but I do not think there is a guide that tells us how to be happy. Happiness can come from anywhere
be honest, first you will be not happy for litlle time, but you will be the hapiness for long time
comforting!