Well! I am really not sure how to start writing this one...
I imagine it will be an uncharacteristically short post for energy reasons which shall become apparent.
[Some of my timings will seem off in this post as I wrote it in hospital last night but the poor wi-fi would not my laptop play ball].
I don't have the energy to use 57 paragraphs to set the scene and so, I shall cut to the chase.
Early in October I began to feel particularly ill, which was coming on the back of previous bouts of fairly serious ill health and a knockout bout of covid that affected me pretty severely...
THEN MY PANCREAS PACKED UP FOR A SPELL AND PART OF IT EVEN DECIDED TO DIE OFF!!!
Well apparently that is kinda what they call an emergency, so I was admitted TO hospital in a blaze of activity and spend a day or so continuously retching with only bile to show for my Herculean efforts.
Can you spot the 20kg of water added to my extremely distended stomach?
Well with hindsight being what it is, and my feverish, delusional first 2 weeks in hospital, not being quite how I remembered them first time round, it was completely wasted on me just how close to death I actually came.
Sadly, it was not wasted on my amazing family and I am incredibly sorry to say they are fully aware of how serious things have been.
There are many life changing things to come out of this sorry affair, but here's the thing...
I AM HERE, I AM ALIVE AND I AM PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE BABY!!!
What's the alternative, right? Not an alternative that I wish to consider, this much is obvious. Last Monday 23rd, I had been in hospital for over 2 weeks and that was the first day I allowed myself to set a goal.
To get out of bed and walk from my ward, down to the main hospital coffee shop. Since then I have not missed a day of walking, building up my fitness coming off my oxygen tank.
Naturally, everybody says
"Don't overdo it!"
And I get it. It's a perfectly natural response, but I knew the walking would work some of the excess glucose from my system and allow me some more control over my recovery and boost my mental health so, so much.
Speaking of which, I am now planning what I am going to do when I'm liberated from the hospital to avoid diagnosis depression
I have seen it many times before, especially in men my age, a life changing diagnosis brings mortality in to sharp focus and the reality that youth has gone and the old ways will never return causes a mental decline... If I can avoid this, I will.
Oh! By the way...
Acute necrotising pancreatitis.
[Yesterday]
That is more specifically, my diagnosis. I also now inject myself with insulin for my diabetes every mealtime, I guess that makes me type 1 now??? I guess, I really should ask...
I have gone from 3 stands next to my bed for various IV drips, to 1. I have zero machines that I am hooked up to, no more beeping, clicking and whirring as I sleep. I ditched my oxygen, my catheter and taken charge of almost all of my own care, meds.
In a nutshell I feel so, so much better.
In case you couldn't see the sticker placed on my chest in the previous photo by a particularly cheeky [and amazing] nurse
I have been telling my Dr's, nurses, family and friends that I would sneak out of here while it is still October, (tomorrow is obviously 31st).
My consultant and surgeon came to see me for morning rounds today, here is the conversation that took place: I should warn you my sense of humour and levels of cheekiness have almost fully recovered...
Consultant: What do you think is still keeping you in hospital?
Me: The next 30 seconds of this conversation and your decision making processes.
Consultant: What if I told you we are thinking of discharging you tomorrow?
Me: I have rehearsed this conversation a few times already this morning and I must say you have remembered your lines beautifully!
We had a bloody good laugh and I explained that I have told everyone and his dog I was gonna sneak out of here in the final strains of October. That I would start November at home with my family, my dog, my bath and my real, everyday life and I would work out what my new life looked like gradually.
People keep saying how spooky this is (I suppose it is Halloween, tomorrow, right?)
I don't think so though. I think sometimes we can make something so concrete in our mind and anchor it to our intention and it can be almost like al obstacles fall away at will and all necessary action steps and checkpoints become glaringly obvious and things just... Uhm... Fall in to place, I guess!
This post has really taken it out of me, I don't mind telling you.
I am going straight to bed lol. I am so happy to be home but I suspect the boundaries of 'too much' will surprise me in the coming weeks.
I look forward to reconnecting with many of you again, bring on many good times ahead.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
Keep taking the time to connect with each-other both here and in the 'so-called' real world and try and look after each-other, because as you already know...
I am an incredibly proud member of #TeamUK I love the global community immensely, but it is nice to have a home-team banner to add to my posts. The banner was made by the inimitable RoastMaster General himself @c0ff33a If you are an active UK member and would like to be added to the teamUK community on Discord, just let me know 😎
Any images in my posts are either 'taken by me' or 'created in Canva by me.'
Well, I read that one all wrong! I saw the stomach, read that you were planning for the future BABY and thought you must be one of these new-fangled men I hear so much about. Phew! Thank goodness I have a habit of reading everything twice:)
Never has an AWOL comma brought such unadulterated joy. Unfortunately I laughed so hard I probably added a whole heap more recovery time but me and the family laughed long and hard about this last night.
Thanks for stopping by, my friend 😊
Oh Steven, so sorry to hear you have been so unwell. But so good to hear you are on the mend.
That must have been a pretty scary time for your family and in hindsight for you too.
Rest as much as you can and be gentle with yourself. Our health is so important, I know you already made some big changes in your life.
But I'm so happy to hear you are home, where you can really focus on getting stronger.
Sending you so much love and healing xxxxx
Thank you so much my friend. Long road and many frustrating moments in getting back to normalcy ahead, I'm certain, but being back with my family is massive.
The wishes mean a LOT, I assure you. much love to you and yours too, my friend 🙂
Man that's a way to be tough! Wow congratulations on getting out and getting that sense of humor back
Really glad that you got everything figured out and that you're going to be doing better from here on out.
Totally sounds like you could use some good vibes!
Here is a picture of super awesome doggo that will hopefully help make your smile better today.
@freecompliments
The vibes and the words probably mean more than you could believe, right now. Thank YOU!
Sending back the very best wishes to you and yours. I do appreciate you stopping by 🙂
And that's exactly why I love being me.
Sometimes the biggest things you can do is be positive and encourage someone in a dark time.
Glad we could support you! And I can't wait for more of your work!
May your day be gorgeous today.
Hi @stevenwood,
Thank you for participating in the #teamuk curated tag. We have upvoted your quality content.
For more information visit our discord https://discord.gg/8CVx2Am
Not good man! You better get on the mend now, you’re not allowed to do anything besides that in case you didn’t know :D. In all seriousness though, that’s brutal dude! Hopefully they can help you figure out what caused that in the first place, it’s not common to have the necrotizing part for sure. Pancreatitis is sadly common but not that severe!
Prayers for you and your family man, for sure!!
Thank you so much man, always so happy to see cross paths.
I will see you plenty in Rantsville I am sure, I envisage a lot of overly emotional, frustrating, angry days along the way but huge happy victories too but it is nice that you created a community that allows us to shout at the wall when we need it most.
The words and wishes mean way more than you could believe, right now 🙂
Blimey, you have been through the mill. Hope you are already home by the time you read this, and that you continue to get better.
Sending wellness and hugs.
Annabelle 😊
Yikes? What an ordeal Steve. Glad the worse is over and now you are back at home. Take care and wish you speedy recovery
Must say you are in great spirits around the day/night of spirits! The thought is what keeps us going and alive! Been close to death myself like yourself and others. Laughter is a great medicine! Can be funny how people worry about you over doing it which yes you should be careful (to sum degree). However what if you don't want to under do it... Keep smiling and write about what feels good man!
I saw the thumbnail before the title and for a second thought you were showing your Halloween costume. With the army green shirt in the first pic, you look a little bit like a soldier. I guess you really
are a trooper after spending weeks in the hospital.
Congrats on making it home. I hope these last 2 months of the year go well for you, so you can begin 2024 strong!
Now that sounds like a stunning plan, my friend, I like the sound of it a LOT. 2024 is looming large in my head, right now, probably because of all the unknowns ahead.
Thank you so much for the positivity and wishes man, it means more than you probably believe at the moment. 🙂
So sorry to hear that you were so sick.
Great you are back home.
I wish you a good recovery ❤️🩹
Take care of yourself!
Thank You so much. Your wishes mean a LOT to me right now.
I genuinely cherish them, wishing you and yours the very best too 🙂
You are so welcome @stevenwood 👋🏻😊
Thank you kindly. Have a nice end of the week!
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Greetings my friend, thank God you are recovering, it is not nice to be in a hospital and listen to when the devices emit sounds that monitor your heart, I hope you continue to recover.
Good to know you are feeling better now! Speedy recovery and get loads of rest!
I admire the optimism and motivation you keep cracking a joke despite the hard time and planning for a future Baby!Reading through, I'm glad you are now well and recovering with your family and friends at home!
Thanks for sharing..Stories like this should inspire others to continue life despite everything!
The laughs and jokes are some of the most important things we have in our toolbox to get through the tough times, I believe.
I thank you so much for the lovely words and wishes, they mean a lot to me right now! 🙂
So sorry to really hear about this. If there is something I really believe so much in you is that you are a strong man who always overcome every limitations. I believe you are gonna overcome this and fight it through. Don't give up, no never
Thinking of you buddy. Sending Love & Light for your recovery 🌱
Wow! This blew me away! I have been gone since August and I just got back a week ago. I am so sorry to hear this and tell me... how are you doing now?
My thoughts and prayers are with you.