I'm Not Ashamed
Of My Lightning Rod
I am getting a little bit worried though because that thunder is coming closer and closer. I fear I might not be able to finish this article before it all goes down.
If I'm here tomorrow with singed pubic hair and a dick that can't decide if it wants to go to sleep or have a party, will you people exclude me from your social circles and whisper about me behind my back?
The entire planet Palnet will be all like:
He's the reason they put warning labels on dishwashers.
Tee hehehehehe.
And Steemians be like:
That's what you get for hodling it all night.
I can already hear it.
I hope you can understand.
It's not my fault I'm about to send Mr. Happy to death row for a dress rehearsal. It's your fault for making me write important articles the world can't live without.
Everyone knows that.
I guess there are some health benefits I'll get to enjoy though.
They'll probably give me one those fancy blue placards that allows me to park close to the door. That'll come in handy for winter but how will I be able to explain myself when someone says, "Hey! You're walking normally! That spot is reserved for people with disabilities! You should be ashamed of yourself! I'm taking a picture of you! Your car! Your license plate! Your arrogance! And I'll be plastering this all over Facebook within an hour or two! You're going down, buddy!"
I don't see how whipping out my cock just to prove a point is going to deescalate that situation.
Police will probably come and give me another shot with the taser just to amplify my P.T.S.D.
How many volts is healthy for a man these days anyway? One year they say this much, the next year they say that much, then in ten years they're saying none because it gives you cancer.
Zippers and static. I'm freaking out just thinking about it. I'll have to buy special underwear and all those fancy pills they make you take when your soul needs soothing.
Shock therapy.
I'd probably need that.
Have a look at this breaking news:
Lightning is sexist!
This is an outrage!
So that's why those happy friendly equal rights ladies are out there yelling at the clouds.
They're right though. I think women should get struck just as much as men.
Anyway
I guess I'm not as lucky as those other guys.
The clouds are clearing up and it's probably safe now to use my laptop. I guess I better get to work so you people have a post to read today.
I have no clue what to write about though, so don't expect much.
Have a nice day.
I sure it's will happen one day if not today maybe tomorrow...
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Maybe on Tuesday! I better check the forecast!
Maybe....
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my devices survive all the storms and as a kid i received a kind blessing from the thunder spirit (struck by it) :) that means by all Indian myths i am the joker of the tribe...
lessening all heaviness! I HOPE!
doing illogical deeds could be of a benefit to all ..in time.. :D
After reading this, as a woman, I am feeling a lot more secure about trotting around in my garden during a thunderstorm. Wait a second...I think I just fell for a trap.
Nope it's not a trap at all here hurry stand next to the flagpole I want to get a picture of this.
I know a couple men that would totally go for that ;)
Actually I was out in a storm this evening and was a little concerned, but I survived! Got to thank lightning for sexism.
Storms here are wicked. I always go outside and watch. Maybe I'll buy a pink dress though and if anyone asks, "It's my storm chasing uniform."
Lol. I'd better start gardening in dresses too, just so there can be no mistake...
Better safe than sorry. Hard hats, steel toes, pink dresses; it's all the same. P.P.E. Don't leave home without it.
Insurance claims.
"What happened?"
I was struck by lightning.
"Were you wearing your pink dress?"
No.
"Sorry, we can't help you."
Awe.
Start buying all your shirts two sizes too big. The bagginess puts you safely into a grey area. If your shirt is large enough to be a dress, it becomes an issue of comparative negligence. There is a personal injury lawyer ad on the laptop you just got electrocuted by, ready to take your case.
'And Steemians be like: That's what you get for hodling it all night'.
Awesome! (the whole post btw).
Another one that got struck
Kinda looks like my clouds.
I can't imagine any situation not being dramatically improved by an impromptu cock whipping outing. Lol!!
Oh my god! That kitten is trapped in a tree.
Stand back, Ma'am. I know what to do!
Oh my god! We're out of coffee!
Fear not! I have just the thing.
Hahahaha!! Oh man, that made me laugh, I am as rough as a Badger's chuff and it cut right through.
I'm off to show the good lady my penis
The neighbors are noisy. I think I'll go quiet them down with something.
It's a kindness
"He's the reason they put warning labels on dishwashers."
Haha I often say that I don't want to be the guy who is the reason that they have to put up a new safety sign at work. Lol
And instead of watch your step or something it just says, "Don't pull an artisticscreech." Everyone knows what it means...
Ride the lightning bro. 🤣⚡
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They call me Bolt Man! And this is my trusty sidekick, Nut!
Ok, I don't write this much but...
LOL! 😁
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Am I the only one wondering why the fatality rate has dropped? lol
Thanks for the chuckle. This one might last all day.
Good luck enjoying your next thunderstorm!
Oh, I'll be okay. I may never look at a laptop the same...
Ha! I laughed.
lol.
Best comment I read all day!
That suspense was electric!
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The most electrifying man in post entertainment!
For now perhaps! I'm petty entertaining myself js 🤗
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I just always wanted to be The Rock and you gave me the perfect opportunity to live out my dream.
Steem dreams do come true, it can happen to you! Yes! You TOO it's not just for a few or only those that pray upon a pew, tuck right in to your delicious steem stew and hodl if u have a loooooong view admission is free at the hardfork zoo you can even touch a whale and they will upvote your poo poo 💩
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Do you canoe through the new bayou?
In a while crocodile
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There's my hero!
Billy Gunn?
No! He's the ass man!
The visuals while reading this were electrifying.... thanks for a Sunday morning giggle.
I thought this might be easier than painting an actual picture. And you're welcome! Thank you for stopping in and getting a giggle.
Lol, talking about painting a picture....my husband and I had a painted portrait done by Pricasso, a man who paints without brushes but his manhood lol. This isnt my video but a quick google of him and I found this
I'm not sure if I want to watch that.
That's what my husband said when I told him we were booked in lol. He is actually quite talented....but his member did look quite red raw!
Now for sure I know I don't want to watch it.
It is possible. However, more possible with a coronal mass ejection from the Sun.
Those ejections are hard to predict. Always premature.
Think you’ll be fine. Unless the laptop is plugged in, in which case you might not be fine 😆
Is lightning sexist or does it just prefer guys? 🤔 or maybe guys should be out in storms less? 🤔
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I'm pretty sure it's because of beer and golf.
Golf makes sense. Except for playing golf in a thunderstorm. Doesn't seem smart? o_O
Beer? Unless it's a "hold my beer" kind of situation XD
As long as you do not lie on your back in the garden with an erection I am sure you will be fine hahaha
That would be a tough one to explain to the nurses.
You really scared me a lot
What's so scary about me?
Congratulations @nonameslefttouse!
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