Halfway to the Stars

in Reflections5 months ago

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It is going to be a chilly start to 2024, which isn't unexpected around this time of year in Finland. It has "suddenly" got a fair bit colder around these parts though, and is currently sitting at -16 (3F), with tomorrow dropping down further to -24 (-11F), which is pretty cold, but still 10 degrees "warmer" than the lowest temperatures I have experienced in this region. I still find it amazing how large the weather variations can be around the world.

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"Variations" is something I think about a lot, though when looking at larger groups of things, averages are required to make sense of the world. This is something that upsets people, because in a culture of everyone is unique, essentially everyone is missed in averages. People tend to believe that they are outliers, but the truth is that across most facets of who we are and how we behave, we are mostly the same. What matters is how we act on certain aspects though.

I was teaching Smallsteps about averages today, using the temperature across two days as the example. What is the average when Day 1 is -10, and Day 2 is +10 kinds of things. But, while the average is 0, the reality is that there is a massive difference between the two. Dress for the average and you are going to either be too hot, or too cold. But as I was saying to Smallsteps,

There is no perfect.

No perfect behavior either. However, using averages, we can make educated guesses at what is a "better or worse" response to a situation. We know on average what kinds of behaviors are likely to improve our situation, or degrade it. We know what kinds of average diets we should eat, and an average on how much exercise we should do. However, one will affect the other, so depending on our individual diet, we might need to exercise more or less than someone else - or change what types of exercise we are doing.

I talk in averages of my observational experience here, because I am not talking to a single individual, and the group is far from homogenous. If I was talking to each person one to one, it would likely change the conversation, and be more personal, more tailored. However, a lot of people seem to think that everything should be tailored for them, even if they aren't the target audience. It is like the people who complain about a comedian's joke because they find it distasteful, but they were never forced to listen and for the target audience, on average it was funny.

Over lunch, Smallsteps and I were talking about "positives and negatives" in terms of better and worse. This just happened to lead on from the conversation about averages using temperatures, but were actually unrelated discussions. Good and bad is pretty black and white and are useful to explain some things. But better and worse are relative positions and are situational, meaning that they have to have a reference point by default.

My wife laughed at one of the examples I used, where I asked Smallsteps if it was positive or negative if I were to cut off her finger. Then, asked what if the other option was to cut off her whole hand instead. Obviously, both are negative, but one is decidedly less negative than the other, with the emphasis on the decided, because we get to make a decision about how we feel about the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Yet, we seem to be so focused on the moments, that we tend to miss the averages of our own lives, where for most of us probably, life is on average, not too bad, even though we face outlier events. But, if we focus only on the moments, we are more likely to feel the ups and downs with more strength, more volatility, because we aren't zooming out to account for the general trends and stability.

We don't like being misrepresented, but we should accept that there will always be variation between what we are and how we are portrayed, even by ourselves. On average, we are likely good people, yet if you cherry pick from our worst days and worst instances of our behaviors as representations of who we are, we are likely all pretty terrible humans. Which then raises the question as to whether people want to be seen as unique, or be judged based on their average. Do you want to be called out for outlier interactions of good or bad, or your average?

There is an average to all of us, but it is impossible to compare each other based on some kind of average, because how does that work. For instance, if one person leads a pretty level life, doing little good, but also little harm with a baseline of zero. And if a second person lives a life of doing a great deal of good and saves 1000 lives from immense suffering, and then they torture 50 people. Do we consider person one and two to be the same? Is One better because there was less variation in them, or was Two better because they saved so many from suffering?

Do no evil.

Is that enough, if one also does no good?

Or is it cutting off a finger, instead of the whole hand?

At least on average, being at zero isn't enough to keep humanity advancing, we have to on average be improving. But, if we are only comparing ourselves to average people, is the average going to increase, or is it going to decrease? If we think about it in terms of learning a skill of some kind, like playing a sport or instrument, if we are comparing ourselves to the average skill level, we likely aren't going to become very good. We need to compare ourselves to the best forms, so that even if we only close the gap halfway to the stars, on average, we are moving further and further from the gutter.

There is no perfect.
There is better.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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We have been in a bit of a hot spell here and it has been pretty miserable. Hot for this time of year anyway. Temps in the 40's and this incessant drizzle that just needs to go away. I'd be fine if it was -11 as long as the sun came out. I've been saying for a while that I feel like I keep living for those big moments on the one extreme of the scale and I need to appreciate the everyday stuff more. The average as you said. That's where the majority of your life takes place honestly.

I'd be fine if it was -11 as long as the sun came out.

It was sunny, but not for long - the days are only about 5h at the moment :)

That's where the majority of your life takes place honestly.

I get the feeling that if we pay a bit more attention, the average could be incredible.

I get the feeling that if we pay a bit more attention, the average could be incredible.

That's my goal for the future.

It has "suddenly" got a fair bit colder around these parts though, and is currently sitting at -16 (3F), with tomorrow dropping down further to -24 (-11F), which is pretty cold, but still 10 degrees "warmer" than the lowest temperatures I have experienced in this region.

The lowest temperature I have ever experienced was -22°C, in Halifax, Nova Scotia, in 1980.

I was going to say that, because Halifax is near the Atlantic Ocean, -22 there feels much colder than -24 where you live. But I realized that there is a big lake and the humidity today was 86%, so -24°C must feel pretty cold.

And, of course, Vancouver is much warmer. The lowest temperature recorded in Vancouver is -17.8°C.

BONNE ANNÉE.

It wasn't too bad today, as it wasn't that windy - but on those days where it is cold and windy, it is a nightmare. We are dogsitting a little dachshund for the night, and he can't go out for more than about 10 minutes at a time, as he has no booties :D

Once it gets past about -15 to -20, it all feels the same. I suspect the difference is how fast you freeze to death.

Happy New Year!

Damn you started this with teaching Smallsteps basic averages and then end it with torturing people... laughs okay but I do see your point...

It's like when a person and a animal is trapped in a fire or a life threatening situation... which would you save?

I'd save the animal...but people would argue that I'm inhumane then but either or would leave you in a questionable state...

Now I ask you is there such a thing as good or bad...or is it all just doings?

Damn you started this with teaching Smallsteps basic averages and then end it with torturing people... laughs okay but I do see your point...

It seemed logical in my head... ;)

I am not sure if there is actually good and bad in terms of nature. But, there is probably right and wrong in terms of personal behavior. If we know what we are doing is not the right thing, it is wrong, right? :)

However, there are many conditionals with that, where circumstance matters. I don't like how people go back in history and backdate today's society to then. People think that if they lived 200 years ago, they would be similar to now - but that is nonsense.

No! You can't compare a society of 200 years ago! Laughs no!

People tend to be a little absurd nowadays as well! With everything going on in the world! Soon enough we wont have any men left nor any women..... we will only have things... oh I mean people 🤣🫠

I feel cold seeing the frosty weather of Finland and yet I'm dying to visit this wonderful country after seeing a friend travelling to Lapland which looks so cool. I see we're losing cool breeze in our winter as all the cold went to your side to enjoy holiday.

Happy New Year.

It is quite a beautiful time of year when there is enough snow on the ground as there is now :)

My dear bro @tarazkp !

Happy new year!
I hope you spend your old age in the warm Mediterranean!😃

I felt that winter in Finland would be too cold!😄

Southern France, or Spain.

I thought Mediterranean women were the most beautiful in Europe!

Today and the whole week, the weather has been spring-like here. I don't remember when it was like this last time.

Have a good year with your family!

The other day we had a day that felt like spring - that is gone now. :)

For instance, if one person leads a pretty level life, doing little good, but also little harm with a baseline of zero.

Another thing is that some people live their life without any form of crisis situations and they look down or make fun of those who have bad days. So it's kind of like comparison is waste. Some of the time comparison is done for the filtering and some of the time comparison is done so that there is some good return of value for the person who does the comparison.

We can never actually know how another feels. It is like the weather - while it is the same temperature, I can be warm, my wife cold - how can we actually know what "being cold" feels like for another? We have to assume that our feelings are the same as theirs in order to empathize. I can eat quite spicy food, my wife can't - are our tongues fundamentally different?

Something has been bothering me and making me feel sad but I would not like to enter a new year with that
I’ve been crying but how can I stop that. Any idea? We’ve got five hours to the new year here
Happy new year to you

Now that the New Year is here - feeling any better?
Spend some time reflecting - write it all out - discover what the issue is. :)

Thank you very much!

!LUV
!DHEDHE

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Those are cold temperatures. I can't imagine those numbers in the Philippines. Not only will a lot of people die because of the extreme difference in what they are used to, and the infrastructure currently in place are insufficient.

Practice makes progress!

But Yikes to that weather! I arrive back to New York on Thursday and we are supposed to have our first snowstorm of the season on Friday to make for a wet and gloomy wknd. Welcome to 2024!

I'm certainly grateful for my better than average Splinterlands performance in ranked. Now I just need to step up my averages in the tournaments!