Do you know what you need to be happy?
Sure, "happiness" might not be the overall goal in terms of what a good life is, but it is a good way to frame what we want out of our activities, to guide what we do. I remember reading or hearing something a long time ago about catching people "at their best" when having to spend time with them, even if "their best" is not healthy. For instance, if a person loves to eat, meet them at a restaurant they like, even if they are eating themselves into an early grave.
It is their choice.
It would be interesting to run an audit on "what makes us happy and work out how much of it is actually good for us, improves us, makes us a better version of ourselves. Happiness is of course an emotion and as such, doesn't actually have to be tied to the reality of the situation. For example, many people are happy to smoke a cigarette, as it satisfies a craving for nicotine or ritual, but that doesn't mean that it is healthy. We seem to overvalue happiness as a feeling, ascribing a sense of health to it, even though it can be the exact opposite.
Here for a good time, not a long time.
I believe we are social animals built for social activity, because it is through this process that we have been able to evolve so radically as a species. Our ability to work together and collaborate to solve complicated problems beyond our skills as individuals, has meant rapid advancement. However, with this, we have also created a massive range of other problems, and due our intelligence, we can't actually ignore them. If the dinosaurs ruined their environment to the point of their extinction, they would never have realized it, they would have just died out.
We don't have that luxury.
Ignorance might be bliss, but we would have to be incredibly ignorant to completely ignore the pain and suffering we cause ourselves through our behaviors. We can feel it in our bodies, we can see it reflected in the mirrors, we can hear it through the feedback of the world. Yet, our behaviors largely remain unchanged, as we keep inflicting damage after damage upon ourselves.
If it feels good, do it.
It seems to be the conditioning of the modern world, where no matter what the consequences of our actions, the most important thing is our immediate feedback We are encouraged to act in service to our sense of pleasure, the good feeling we get, the dopamine kick. Every part of our consumer lives is driven by this desire, whether it be around what we eat, what we read, what we do - it is all in order to make ourselves feel good now, to hell with later.
I have long questioned whether it is better to be happy in the moment at the expense of happiness in the future, and I have taken the approach that the future is more important than the present. Of course, there is only the present where we live, but acting now without regard to our future experience, is likely going to lead to increasingly difficult "nows", where it becomes hard to get what we want out of it, what we need out of it.
Spending all what we have in the moment, will cost us opportunity later. Eating all that tastes good now, will mean feeling terrible in the future. Doing what makes us feel good now, means that we are unlikely going to improve our skills to meet the needs of tomorrow.
Is the now worth it?
Maybe, maybe not. But, unfortunately, because we are part of a a society, all behaviors impact on everyone in some way. People who have tied to live a controlled life, still have to pay for those who have chosen to live a life of excess. The community is still rehabbing drug and gambling addicts, and performing surgeries on morbidly obese - while telling "normal people" that there is just not enough resources to provide opportunity.
It is an interesting thing with living in a society these days, that the people who add the least value, seem to take the most resources. And, of course it isn't just monetary value, because a lot of the monetary value is generated through some of the least beneficial to society activities, often encouraging the lives of excess and wonton abandon.
There seems to be some apathy around these things these days, where more and more people are taking a "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach to life, and giving up on self-control, in favor of immediate pleasure. Personally, I don't think it is going to end well for any of us, which is probably why more people are looking to get what pleasure they can, now - before there is none left.
Like a loaded plate at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Get our money's worth, no matter how bad it makes us feel.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Hey, plenty of people are having a shit time and a short time, so I'm not sure there's a lot of justice. I'm a big believer (if that's a matter of belief, even) in healthy diet, exercise, you know, living the right life. Largely because I enjoy it. I don't think I'd have much success with healthy eating or regular workouts if I didn't like doing that. For me, "it's good for you" just isn't enough of an incentive...
That being said, I do think a lot of people are deluding themselves. That if only they eat enough greens, or do enough squats or abstain from alcohol, tobacco or whatever else, they might find immortality. If only they're good enough boys and girls. I don't think that's how it works, though. Not guaranteed to, at least.
Personally, I'm looking for a balance between work/eat/exercise/whatever for tomorrow, and a more YOLO attitude. In all areas, from financial to dietary. Because I've met a few people sacrificing constantly for the ever-elusive tomorrow, who ended up getting nothing. Getting ill anyway. Or dying before they could use their savings, take that trip or do whatever they'd hoped to do in future. If the tomorrow bet lucks out, then you're golden. But if it doesn't?
Sadly, I think so too. I also think our society is designed in such a way to breed depression and helplessness, and many of us will do anything, no matter how nasty and unhealthy, to temporarily alleviate that.
Absolutely - but I think there is something worse when it is self-inflicted.
I don't think it is enough incentive for most of us, which is why we fail. So, what does incentivize it enough?
There are some people who want to live longer - then there are those who want to suffer less. However, I feel that the yolo life leads to increased suffering, or "postponed" suffering perhaps. How long can it be put off for?
Maybe it depends on whether there is a family. I don't mind not getting anything from my hard work - but I don't want my family to suffer from my lack of work.
This is the profit-seeking business model.
I think it varies. I think it's a lot to do with mentality, also. Like, I cleaned up my act (and diet :D) for health reasons. Not any real problems, but I kept hearing about more natural diets and how they can help fine tune health issues. Gave it a try, and kept to it long enough to alter my taste system a bit, I guess. For me, the motivator rn is that I prefer what these healthier foods taste like. I was just talking to a friend about sugar - she asked oh, you're staying away from it? I said no, I literally don't enjoy sugary shit. Like I don't want it. Don't know what would motivate me if I didn't have that going, though.
I don't know when that happened. We're always talking about making healthy choices as a sacrifice (e.g. cutting carbs, sugars, processed foods). I mean, if you're going into it thinking it's going to be a constant struggle...
In diet, particularly true. Sure binging Diet Cokes might look fun and harmless when you're 20, but you'll probably be regretting it in your 40s and 50s, you know?
That's actually wonderful, my friend. it's very beautifully expressed. :)
Profound reflections on the complex relationship between happiness and health. You raise thoughtful questions about whether pursuing happiness in the moment truly serves our future wellbeing, both as individuals and a society. An insightful analysis that will hopefully inspire more mindful decision-making. Excellent food for thought!
I wonder if we are ever able to be more mindful, or if that is one of the things we are fooling ourselves with, another consumerism.
The wise thing to do is to learn to separate what makes us happy from what is actually good for us, so we don't end up destroying our lives while trying to make ourselves happy. Eventually the consequences of failing to do so will catch up with whosoever does otherwise. I guess the only way is to strive to get happiness from the things that are good for us. For example try to get happiness from exercising and from eating healthy, from reading, etc. That's because happiness is a core human need, we just have to satisfy that need the right way. James Clear's Atomic Habits offers insights on how to derive happiness from doing things that are good for us and not from things that make us happy but hurt our lives. Thanks for writing and have a great day.
I should probably have a read of atomic habits, since so many people seem to mention it.
Would they also try catching at our best? I think it must be mutual.
They would have a hard time catching me at my best! ;D
It is better to be sad now so you can be happy in the future. The future will be forever but one thing that can be crazy is that we never can tell when that future will come so we should just try to be happy always even though there are things or challenges that may want to bring us down
Or maybe, being happy now will lead to sadness in the future.
This is sadly the case in almost every nation nowadays. There is no point debating when we already know the answer. It’s sad!
Life of excess seems to be what dictates our direction. Necessity used to bread invention - now desire drives consumerism.
Yes You are saying right. When I was reading this content I was feeling like I am thinking itself.
We can't change our behavior and it remains unchanged.
I think we forget about our expectations here. Whenever we expect anything else from others, if others do not fulfilled, it hurts alot and so that our behavior about these ups and downs changes and also affects our personality alot.
Our future is more important than our present day happenings and its experiments.
I think we should live our life in its limitations so You can live it more.
Perhaps, we should expect more of ourselves. We seem to expect others to act as we want, but excuse our own poor behaviors.
Self control has been tossed to the winds and we are in an era where everyone has become indifferent to what really matters. If it's for immediate pleasure alone without taking the consequences into consideration, then of course it can't end well.
I think the pandemic really did a number on a lot of people. They saw people they know die prematurely, and everyone was stuck inside their homes for a long time. Once they were able to get out, it was like caged animals that were set free and don't know the first thing they want to do. Some have even gotten the mentality of "when it's your time to die, you can't do anything about it". That's why they want to enjoy the now.
I keep telling myself that if I'm actively dancing in the clubs all weekend, at least it is a good way to stay active and work on my aerobic conditioning. It's not just for the scene and the sounds, it's for the workout too 🤣🤣
Yes and no, to an extent. I think about all the energy consumed by the private jets and the 1% jet setting around just to be seen by their friends. Sure they have the funds to afford this behavior, but they sure are using a bunch of resources that would serve society much more efficiently if it was spread among the masses!
This is quite an engaging topic.
Life might not give us what we work for neither is it guaranteed. So when I see people enjoying the moment to the fullest, I just smile.
You can decide to starve yourself of so many pleasures now, to enjoy a healthy future but what if that future never comes and life is unexpectedly stolen from you, what next?
Personally, I'd say: Just enjoy yourself but do so in moderation. Too much of everything is bad!