"I'm nervous bro." The usually confident Grouchy had a look of consternation on his face. It seemed odd to see him look so unsure.
"Roxy?" I said simply, knowing Grouchy's girlfriend, the one he'd found online after hacking into my computer, was arriving the next day.
"Yeah man. She gets here tomorrow and I'm worried I've forgotten something. I want everything to be perfect."
"You know nothing is ever perfect right cobber? I mean, all we can do is be the best version of ourselves, have manners, courtesy, respect, understanding and patience. If you do then things will work out. I'm sure it'll be fine. Have you ticked off your preparations on your checklist?" I tried to divert his worry back to the list he'd made to highlight the fact he'd checked it all off already and bring him some comfort.
Good idea broo, now where's that list..." Grouchy wandered off momentarily then returned trying to flatten out a scrumpled up piece of paper..."Here it is. So let's see..."
"Build house. Check."
"Silk sheets on bed. Check."
"Mirror on ceiling. Check."
"Champagne on ice. Check."
"Honey Birdette gift box for Roxy. Check."
The list went on...
...And on...
I tuned out after a while but something made me tune back in...
"What was that last one?" I questioned, not quite sure if my ears had heard correctly.
Grouchy looked up at me..."What, iron shirt?" He said.
"No, before that ya fuck-knuckle." I snapped.
Grouchy consulted his list repeating the last ones he'd read under his breath then...
"Oh yeah, this one...Shave balls." He looked at me matter-of-factly. "That one you mean?"
I just looked at him not really knowing what to say and he went on with the list.
"Manscape, down there. Check"
"Polish shoes. Check"
It was an impressively long list with some odd entries, but when he got to the end they were all checked. He was ready.
This morning, with a quick wish me luck G-dog, he hopped on his scooter and sped off to the train station to pick up Roxy; He was nervous and excited at the same time. I didn't blame him.
He would be an hour so I went on with pretending to work at my day-job from home which translates to doing nothing at all in respect of my day-job, and waited for them to return.
I heard the the scooter pull into the driveway and took a peak out the window.
"G-dog, the king and queen have arrived." I heard Grouchy proclaim. I wouldn't have been surprised if there was a trumpet fanfare as well.
Grouchy was helping his girl off the back of the scooter and began to usher her inside ahead of himself, all gentlemanly and polite. Behind her Grouchy walked along with a smile beaming on his green face, one hand protectively on the small of her back. It was the happiest I've seen him in a long time and it made me happy in turn.
I walked out to greet them and he introduced me to Roxy. I have to say, I noticed right away she had a cute smile and large, kind eyes. She was also very polite when she greeted me, if slightly distracted; She just couldn't keep her eyes of Grouchy.
I think they were off to a good start.
It seems Grouchy had prepared a little ceremony to welcome her to the house he had built for them to share; A lovely two story yellow and pink house with red tile roof and a little garden out the front. He'd worked hard on it and it seems she was keen to step inside.
They both had on crowns, another touch Grouchy had added, and as they made their way to the house they really did resemble a king and queen.
It was at that point I decided to leave them alone, let them get acquainted, and settled in. I was sure I'd catch up with Grouchy later but for now I wanted him to enjoy the moment and, from what I was seeing, it looked like there'd be some mutual enjoyment for sure! I went to my home-office to pretended to work once more.
"I'm in love." I turned at the sound and saw Grouchy casually leaning on the doorframe of my office. "She is perfect."
"She seems very lovely Grouchy. I'm pleased you're happy."
"She does this thing with her tongue when we kiss man, it's like...Well, I can't really describe it." Grouchy seemed to be floating on cloud nine.
"Well man, that's good, but gentlemen don't discuss this sort of thing about their ladies you know. It's private between you and Roxy and it's disrespectful to her." I had wondered how this would go, his first romantic encounter. Seemingly it had him floating on air.
"Yeah G-dog, I remember discussing it. It is disrespectful to the girl. I know. But I had to tell someone! It's all wet and warm..." Grouchy let the rest go unsaid as my look suggested he should.
I nodded though. I knew how he felt.
"Well, I hope she's getting settled and you guys are happy." I meant it genuinely too. He deserved happiness, like us all.
"I think it's really great you have hit it off so well; It bodes well for the future. I just want you to be happy cobber." A part of me knew I'd not be able to hang out with his as much which made me feel sad, but I tried to look happy for him.
"Hey," Grouchy said, "you know we're bro's right? We're still going to hang and shit. Bad boys for life y'all. Remember?" Grouchy made an attempt to throw some sort of gang-style hand-sign but it didn't work...Because he has no hands. He had clearly seen how I felt.
I smiled at his attempt to cheer me up and appreciated him saying it.
"Fuck yeah brah." I didn't throw a gang-sign, because that would have been dumb.
Grouchy nodded then turned to leave but after a few steps turned back...
"Hey G-dog."
"Yeah?"
Grouchy had on a sly smirk like he does when he's going to be bad.
"Roxy loved the shaved-balls-action and manscaping!"
He winked at me and was gone.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
No holding Grouchy back he is getting it on😁
He is a law unto himself. Lol.
If the Lego house is rockin', don't come knockin'.
Lol🤣
Lololol, loved it mate. From the shagged balls to the pretending to work too the fuck-knuckling! You da man! Da funny man!
Thaks mate.
I wasn't sure how it was going to come out as I've had a terrible day (my dad) but wanted to write it for the chance to tune out for a little while. I'm glad you liked it. ✅
I hope it helped man and I hope things aren't too hard for ya. It's a grim time
I got a few laughs. The hardest part was toning it down. I don't want it to be too full on. That'll come later.
Today was a difficult day. Let's see what tomorrow brings. Thanks though mate. I appreciate it.
Loved the story and the photos!
Thank you for saying so. I really appreciate your engagement and efforts on hive. Keep up the good work.
My pleasure.
Stay well!
I was actually thinking Evelyn might like this cute story, then I remembered the language, and the smutty innuendo, and sold her account to Justin Sun instead.
Lol!
Yeah, it's a little ribald but it's Grouchy you know, that's his modus operandi. Besides, I think his supporters would get a bit disappointed if he wasn't up to some kind of hijinks.
Awww loved this! Finally! The only thing missing was a red carpet. Grouchy acted like a true gentleman. Not sure if he could had pulled it off without you. First date and he already built her a house? Oh my now this is a dude ready for serious stuff🏡😂 Grouchy's first kiss. Ohh so endearing😂 I wonder what Roxy feels. We can't see, but I bet there are a bunch of butterflies flying around in their stomachs.. Luuuv is in the air🦋✈️😂
There will certainly be some interesting adventures on the way I would say. They seem to have but it off quite well and Grouchy has been on his best behaviour. I'm not sure how long it will last but at least I know he will be a gentleman and respect Roxy. He has had a good mentor.
I am so excited to see how it goes too. Grouchy is really lucky for this kind of mentorship. I hope he gets the girl🤞
I think he will, but time will reveal all.
I can't wait for the next "episode" hihi
You know, for some reason as I was reading the title of this post I just knew what was shaved. :)
Lol...You know Grouchy too well. His reputation precedes him. 🙂
I mentioned Nut Cuttin' yesterday...
You did have the safe sex conversation with the horney lil'fucker right?
Picture with me... a large family of little Grouchy's
runningstumping (no feet) around your house... Juss Sayin'Lol, yeh we had the conversation...It was awkward because he reckons he had learned all he needed to know from a website called www.gettindowngettindirty.com
I haven't been game enough to check it.
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Aww how cute, hope they live happily ever after in their manor XD
And pffft Grouchy never learned about TMI did he xD
It could be a fairy tale in the making, only time will tell how it works out. I'm sure you'll get to see it play out, for better or worse.
Have a great weekend Ry. It's a long weekend here, not sure if you have the same. Have a good one.
Question... How does one shave balls, when they're non-existent? Other than that though, it looks like Grouchy's going to have a grand ol' time with Roxy, appropriate given the amount of pomp that he put on display. One note to the little sour grim... girls like Roxy don't come around often, so don't fuck it up!
A person could wonder how one shaves anything with no hands...But I think the the answer to both is with imagination, and Gillette razor.
No hands, and non-existent balls... Things can only get worse from here, but don't tell him that. Rubbing his bare body on some Gillette might start to unravel his yarn at some point...
Lol, yeah he has to be careful...But no pain no gain I suppose, and he's not one to think things through very well at times.
He's burnt an Oreo. AN OREO! Suffice to say, I definitely can't trust the sour grim with a razor blade, since he's probably going to run off and shave the cat's tail or something. Worse... he's going to start shaving that stubble off your face when you're sleeping. BEWARE!
https://www.facebook.com/uniladmag/videos/cat-has-a-shaved-tail-from-surgery/2522465651331826/
Maybe he needs to learn a lesson...Slice one of his nuts off and he'll learn it pretty quickly I think.
Ow... My actual nuts started hurting as I read that. Unimaginable horror...
Aw man, I've been away for too long. Grouchy got lucky! Maybe that'll help make him less... I dunno... grouchy.
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Lol, yep he's been quiet lately. Fairly content. I think he's taking my VW Beetle and Roxy to the beach for a surf today. There may be a post. :)
You've been absent for ages. You going ok?
Lucky Grouchy! I'd love a beach trip. That'd hit the spot!
Yeah, things are well and settling down now, I think. I took on some home projects, then got hit with unexpected emergency house repairs (unrelated to the projects) that took longer to fix up than expected. All is good, I'm no longer concerned the house will burn to the ground, and I have a new mattress. :) Definitely getting back to normal!
Good to hear. Having the house burn down could prove problematic. Electrical issue if I recall. Right?
My mother in-law had hers burn to the ground. Lost everything except her life. Not a pleasant time.
Glad you have yours sorted.
Thank you! And yes, I'm definitely happy that we found the issue before it turned out tragic. I can't imagine what your mother in law must have gone through. My entire life is in this house, good and bad.
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