The way we think fascinates me in so many ways and always has, though I am not that interested in the theory of how we think as much as the application and outcomes of it. I am definitely not the strongest analytical thinker out there, but over the years I think I have improved somewhat in the way I approach my thoughts with the biggest difference being made in controlling the impact my emotions have on my processes and eventual decisions. I am now far more "disconnected" when thinking than I was, making my decisions a fair bit better on average, with my outcomes following suit.
I think that because of this journey I have taken I look back at my childhood with some "disdain" as I was left to fend for my self in this area and while I recognized my need to improve, I didn't necessarily take the best course of action to get the results I was after. It was very much trial and error, with a lot of error.
As a result, I spend quite a lot of time in discussion with my daughter Smallsteps on various topics and while she is only five, I actually started this from the day she was born. We talk a lot about many things and I try my best to answer her questions fully, while still encouraging her to think and fill in her own gaps, rather than rely on the answers I provide. "Gap-filling" is a skill that requires imagination and we are increasingly relying on Google queries to be our brains - yes, Google might have the correct answers, but it doesn't help our skill development to solve problems for ourselves.
I came across a clickbait headline today that I found interesting enough to have a skim of before diving a little deeper.
In typical clickbait fashion, the title itself misrepresents what was actually being said, as this is not actually presented as "parenting advice" at all. All it says is that (Elon Musk thinks) these things should be taught to all children at a young age. I agree - not because the world's richest man said it, but because from my own experience, learning to avoid at least some of these biases or become aware enough to spot some of them sometimes, has helped me out.
This was sent out in a tweet with a long list of 50 tiles that state the bias and give a simplified example that could be used as a heuristic to remember how to apply, or identify in order to be more cautious whilst consuming information.
It is hard to read in the tweet and I am not sure how easy this is to read, but I found a clearer version that I posted here and underneath and a link to the page so you can open it yourself if it is easier for you.
What I like is that there is also a color-coded key that allows the reader to see for which general area it is applicable - Memory, Social, Learning, Belief, Money and Politics. There are so many important lessons contained here and books can be and have been and likely will be written on all of them. But, books don't help us change our own outcomes, unless the lessons within can be onboarded and applied in practice.
There are a lot of very smart people out there, who consistently get some very poor results - and many idiots who consistently get good results - is it luck? Yes and no, depending on how you look at it, but in general having a process that is likely to work and sticking to it has the largest effect on outcomes. Most of us though are so biased that we think that what we are doing is correct, otherwise, why are we doing it?
That is the reason that this should be taught in childhood and probably why it is not for the most part, because it means that we start questioning the world with a more discerning eye with the ability to spot the bullshit and separate the wheat from the chaff. While parents want their kids to do well in life, a highly curious and logical child can be very challenging day to day - best put them in front of the TV instead. And, in a system where they are crating employees like the education system does, teaching this kind of thing is actually counter to what they are trying to achieve, which is uniformly average results. Schools don't seem to cater for this kind of skill development much at all.
Of course, this list doesn't cater for children either, so if parents want their children to learn them, they are going to have to take an active role in translating them for their child. The examples for each child might be different however, which is why it is up to the parent to find an appropriate way for their child to learn.
The problem for me with this though, is that I don't think I am much happier for having taken this journey, after all they say, *ignorance is bliss. But, ignorance can also be very painful, especially when we feel we are doing the right things, but always getting poor results. We can work hard and fail over and over, becoming bitter as to why "this is happening to me" while others are getting better results, doing the seemingly "wrong things". Of course, our view here would hold a host of biases either, including plenty of confirmation bias.
But, before we teach children, I think we have to at least attempt to learn the lessons ourselves, rather than take a "do as I say, not as I do" approach to parenting. I am "old school" in this approach and still believe that role-modelling behavior is important, even though I fail as a role model as often as I succeed. But, as long as I acknowledge this in myself, I can use it as a lesson to model from as well.
A lot of parents want their children to believe that they are infallible, but I think it is necessary to demonstrate the reality that we are human, we make mistakes. We slip and fall, we make bad decisions, we have to live with the consequences of our actions also - just as they have to. While this is not where we might want to spend the majority of our time, discussing our own failures can help children understand that it is okay to fail and hopefully, they will fail small and early enough to improve their chances of success as they hone their cognitive skills.
Stories work wonders for these kinds of things, but for children who obviously have lower and narrow experience, it has to relate to what they know, not what we know. Simplicity is key, as is humor in my opinion.
Well, that's a lot of words to say a pretty simple thing, but a lot of words in conversation is often needed for us to make the choice to change into a better version of ourselves. Wanting the result is never enough - it has to be supported by the right kind of activity to get the result too.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
My two cents worth, children store knowledge like a sponge from birth to around seven, presenting as many varied activities when young gives reasonable thinking.
Learning from a book is nothing like learning through experience, here I do agree with Finland and Northern territories thinking. Allowing children to explore nature in groups, climb trees, go through bogs, learn dangers outdoors for themselves, under supervision.
Never get into a habit of putting anyone on a pedestal, rewarding all in a class when only one child actually understood what was expected, we all learn through mistakes. This develops a hunger to learn, or will sort eager learners from stragglers.
Massive charts are only indicators into relevant spheres, one can only expect results when leading by example.
As an adult with a child, always put yourself into their shoes, try recall what you were like at that age, one can only guide!
Too much food for thought in this once again 😌, we all fall short of being the best parent so no badge for that one either.
It is actually pretty good in this respect, at least in this area where I live. Smallsteps goes to a daycare where they do forest trips often - nature is never far away and for us, it is literally a short walk away.
This is the thing with it. Learning is one part - demonstrating the lesson quite different.
OF course - so there is always more reason to learn and apply :)
Very pertinent sayings in African proverbs "It takes a village to raise a child." and "When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground."
Imparting knowledge is a gift from many to fill a young mind with the very best one is able to give in formative years.
We must insure we offer the youth every opportunity to reach their goals.
I think that is one thing people have lost the ability to do. It is now loaded with excuses as to why our actions did not work, or why we took a particular action. It seems no one really want to accept that there are consequences to their action, when an excuse will do.
I suffer from the second point, as I like to reflect and breakdown what went wrong. I am pretty good accepting responsibility for the outcome in general though - but because I tear it all apart, people often think I am trying to lay blame.
Personally, I realized over the years that knowing and being able are two different things. Many people know how to do it, but very few do.
And one more thing: in one wise book it is said: "Faith without work is dead" ...
Therefore, I completely agree with the conclusions given in the post.
This is always one of my favorite lessons I tell myself and always will be. Knowing is not doing.
This is an interesting quote. I am guessing it comes from a religious perspective, but I would substitute faith for "desire" for many people these days. They want, but won't do the work to have.
I think that it might be hard to be a role model for this generation. For a few years, I have seen the differences between me and the gen Z. Of course, experince is experince, it can help when teaching children. However, I think that parents should also change themselves or adapt to the times to have good results from parenting.
Parents have to adapt too, as they need to realize that the world their children will face, will be different to today. However for the most part as humans, we evolve slowly so the mental skills and biases remain largely unchanged. Having a clear understanding of oneself and the world from this perspective, is valuable for any conditions.
Most parents do make this kind of mistake, instead of them being an example of a particular thing all they do is give commands on it believing they have more experience in life than the children.
And children want more of a demonstrated action than being commanded when making decisions.
People love power - parenting is a power - but for those who truly want their children to be happy throughout life, it is better not to control, but provide the tools for self-control.
'Parenting is power'. I don't personally like being boss around without purpose.
Thanks for this reply, I so admire it.
(But, before we teach children, I think we have to at least attempt to learn the lessons ourselves)
This is the real truth, what I noticed people are reacting against they don't have the proper attitude and wants to teach others good attitude. You have described for children but it fits on all ages of human beings. That is the reason mishaps took place.
It is easy to tell children how to live their lives, while not living that same life oneself.
Your daughter will grow genius because self discussion and good discussion fill the gaps and will help brain to catch contents more and more. Google is a kind of guide but will not help to learn but discussion helps to learn everything.
Not sure about genius, but hopefully able to control her experience well.
This is definitely a good way to improve her thoughts or ideas on something other than she looking for answers somewhere else without giving her own point or idea.
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