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To be honest, I’m a consummate liar. I can lie with a conviction that would astound.
I learned at an early age that lying was an indispensable tool in navigating the perilous waters of childhood, and should always be employed when dealing with teachers, priests, social workers and the police.
I mean when the teacher asks why you're late for school, you can hardly tell her that your father fell off the toilet drunk and went to sleep against the bathroom door so that nobody could do their morning ablutions, now can you? "Never reveal and always conceal the secrets of the brotherhood" my father would warn us, ad nauseam, and let me tell you it took a fair bit of fibbing to pull that one off.
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A few years ago I was stopped by a squad car when out cycling. Asked by the Garda if I was aware I was cycling up a one-way street, tugging my forelock and genuflecting I replied "No Garda, sir, I didn’t notice the sign.” "Ok" he said, “remember next time" and I was on my way in seconds otherwise unmolested. In an identical encounter a few weeks previously, upon declaring that yes, I did know it was a one-way street but that it was a very short one, completely empty and therefore a victimless crime, I promptly received a 40 euro fine and a 5-minute reprimand.
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Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a scoundrel and employ my superpower only when absolutely necessary to extricate myself from some pickle. I mean is it wrong to pretend to be a deaf-mute when you're flat broke and have been saddled with a power bill you don't owe by an unscrupulous landlady?
I'm pretty certain that were it not for my ability to lie so convincingly my life would have taken some pretty dark turns. Relinquishing this ability is therefore out of the question, which means I am forced to choose the second option to believe everything I'm told. Considering I've spent my life thus far believing absolutely nothing I'm told, I'm sure that'd make a nice change.
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Posted in response to @galenkp's weekend experience challenge to choose between losing the ability to lie forever or have to believe everything you're ever told?
The images are my own.
Sorry about that
The funny thing is that you did not get fined for the one you did intentionally but you got fined for the one you didn't do intentionally
Sorry about that
Both were intentional but when I told the truth I got fined and when I told fibs I got away with it. The way of the world perhaps?
Lol, well I chose the opposite.
But you make some very fine points, ones I didn't really think of.
As a child of course I told lies, I think its easier now as a adult not to.
But really as you're so good with the lies, perhaps what you're saying is not as it seems. Xxxxx
Hahahaha, nobody will ever trust me again! Like much of what I write, it was done with my tongue firmly in my cheek.
😆👏
Ah Milly, At last you're lost for words:)
😆 It was a funny read. I was cracking up last night 🤣
I did have fun writing it but I fear sometimes that people take me much too seriously. I hope you slept well!
Haha! What you wrote is what topics like that are for. I enjoyed it, but I was up way too late to comment... and the burst of laughter that I got from reading this, probably tapped into my reserve energy and had me going far longer than I should have.
What you said about riding on the one-way is something that I'll remember, should I ever get stopped by the authorities when or should I say "if" I'm breaking any rules? 🤣
Your delivery of the jokes was ace 🤣👏
I am not a good liar at all. Possibly because I don't practice. Ha ha! One of my kids lies a lot. She's a grown woman now, and I have to remind myself not to believe everything she says. I think she fell into the habit mostly because of some really bad relationships she has been in and that's how she survived.
Lies are an indispensable tool in my escape from sticky situations toolkit but are employed only when absolutely necessary and primarily reserved for interaction with authorities. In all other situations, I am a fine, upstanding citizen:)
I take no position on this issue, but applaud yours.
A good lie in the right place is indispensable. I once talked myself out of a serious mugging (or worse) by lying. I convinced the man who had trapped me that I was out of my mind. I rattled a bottle of prescription drugs at him as evidence. I'm not sure if he lost patience or believed me. In any event, he went away
(Was I lying???)
😂
As always, a delight to read.
Absolutely! If you lie continually you're a liar but if you lie strategically you're a lateral thinker!:)
:))
Lying - well I never mastered the art when I was younger and I am no good at it now.; I can just imagine that it was very useful in your surroundings. I can also imagine that you got fine when you told the told.
I was just thinking that maybe I do lie something - well not white lies. Here in NL - I just speak english and act like a real tourist when I am in precarious situations where I think being a newbie can help.
Lol regarding "believing absolutely nothing I'm told" - that is me now - you started early.
It's never too late to start! You're already getting into the swing of things pretending to be a tourist so I reckon you'd be a master of the terminological inexactitude in no time at all.
Lol haha - being only recently naturalized Dutch (due to brexit) it is not too much of a stretch though. I will always be seen as a foreigner.
I mean is it wrong to pretend to be a deaf-mute when you're flat broke and have been saddled with a power bill you don't owe by an unscrupulous landlady
😂 I could have swore she phoned me up asking me for a flat to rent. Haha. Be tough to keep that one up. My friend lives in a rough spot and pretends he is disabled coming home from the pub so nobody will mug him so he walks through the green dragging his leg and mumbling incoherently. I was just under the impression that was just him drunk
It was a cinch! I'm very good with my hands:)
That's some mighty fine writing. Believe me please as I am not one to tell fibs. I am always fascinated by how the words seem to flow.
Why thank you kind sir! But as to words flowing, sure it took me 6 days to write that!:)
It's an interesting take, I suppose it depends on the severity of the situation but I've always believed that the truth does eventually reveal itself, even if shrouded in mystery for decades. You lied to your teacher then, but you've admitted the truth here now haven't you? 😏
I would far prefer to lose the ability to lie forever to be honest. The other option seems a whole lot worse in my opinion.
Let me tell you that there have been times in my long life that I'd likely have ended up behind bars if it wasn't for my fine acting skills.
Oh there is no way I could live with believing everything I am told, no more than you could live never able to lie again. Neither is an option, both are equally unliveable with if you ask me. But funny that lying is your superpower. I have to remember that.
But the question is, am I telling the truth when I tell you lying is my superpower?:)
It rings of truth to me, yes I think you are telling the truth.
Of course everything I write on Hive has to be the truth and nothing but the truth as both my brother and a good friend read my blog and are privy to all my little capers and indiscretions.
Well of course everything you put on Hive is the truth and nothing but the truth. It's indelible, so it has to be. Do these people have Hive accounts?
My friend doesn't...I did try....my brother is @robbieretard but he doesn't post anymore.
I'm a terrible liar. I just can't do it, much to my detriment sometimes. I'm sorry about the fine, but it does go to show how BS these rules are, doesn't it? Who were you harming...
Don't worry about the fine, sure I didn't pay it!:)
Oh good. I was worried for a sec ;)
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