Hello Hivers I give you an article themed with the month of love, February. Well there's one day anyways that a lot of us celebrate, Valentine's Day. Alright this was quite sometime ago, 1994. I had been on quite a few dates and even had a few short relationships prior to this. The one I'm going tell you about now is my first long term relationship. Well it's not a happy ending but it did teach me many lessons and even changed me some.
How we met
I recently graduated from Basic Military Training/Technical School for the United States Air Force (USAF). I arrived at Offutt AFB, Nebraska on 4 October. I met Danielle on 6 October, she was sitting in day room watching television in the same dorms I lived in.
I had entered the dorms and just glanced over at the day room. I seen a girl sitting there didn't even think much of it. I kept walking than I heard her say hi. I turned back and returned the same salutation. She quickly returned with a how are you. I answered back with a not bad how about you. She than said she was bored and asked me to come over and have a seat.
We talked for a awhile and I'm not going to lie I thought the whole situation was kind of odd to me. I have never met someone that asked a complete stranger to come over to them to talk. I just didn't know what to think. I did notice she said hi to everyone that entered the building. The dorm greater? She didn't ask them to come over and have a seat though, haha.
A lot of the conversation was military related. Things like what is your career field, experiences in basic training, and what are jobs entailed. After a bit she asked me if I wanted to go for a ride. She said she wanted to show me around. I agreed, it wasn't like I had much going on.
She drove me around the installation showing me mostly everything. Our last stop before going back to the dorms was the parade field. She parked her car and we stayed in it. We talked some more, this time more about our childhood. I'd say we talked for about 15 minutes than spent another 45 minutes not talking 🤫 Once back to the dorms she asked me come visit her at work the following night. I worked days and she worked mid shifts so that was possible.
Showed up at her work
She worked at the base's community activity center. The center had a few video games, pool tables, dart boards, and a few other games. So there was stuff I could do if she was busy with customers.
I'd say I got there around 7:30 p.m. She asked why I got there so late. I told her I went to the gym after work, showered, and got something eat. She seemed happy to see me still. They weren't super busy so I talked to her some of the time. When she had customers I kept myself busy with the activities. I could tell she was keeping an eye me, haha.
It came to the point where I was thinking I should probably go. I was thinking give her some space, afterall we just met the day before. I came to Danielle telling her I had a good time and I'm going to head out. She told me that she gets off soon and to just stick around.
So I did, we left her work at about 10:30 and went back to her dorm room. I had to work at 7:30 a.m. the next morning. I don't remember for sure but I'm guessing I stayed there until at least 3:00 a.m. in the morning. I told her good night and walked to my dorm room that was a floor above. Before I get too far ahead let me tell you about her a bit.
A little bit about her
Alright Danielle was just above average looking. She was about 5'7, long brown hair, blue eyes, and had a nice figure. We were both the the same age, 20. I picked up quickly she was very flirty to everyone. Danielle also had a hyper personality that would draw many onlookers. Not always in a good way either. She is not shy jumping into others conversations. Also she laughed very loud which only drew attention. I can remember feeling embarrassed many times. I'll say making conversations with her was easy but hard to end.
The rest of the relationship
There were good times and bad times. We both visited each others family a few times. Several times we would go out for a dinner and movie. Another thing we did was volunteer our time together on projects for the community. Alone time was good with her.
I will admit the flirting did rub off on me the wrong way. Sometimes her hyper personality could be too much. I use to get a lot of people ask me how can you stand that. I usually was quick to answer with a I don't know. If we ever went out as a group or were just around others she always had to be the center of attention.
The flirting did drive me to become very jealous. I even became a little protective of her. It surely didn't help that I had other people tell me of incidents. I really had thoughts of just dumping her. Once I seen her talking to another guy in the day room of the dorms. By the time I got up to them I heard the guy say see you tonight. I questioned her about this and she said that he plays pool a lot at her work. Big red flag for me because I haven't seen him hustling tables there,
probably trying to hustle her.
Well I went to her work after I got off work. I felt I had to check this out. Once I arrived I seen the guy talking to Danielle. I was a bit pissed to say the least, both were all smiles and were pretty close to one another leaning into each other on the counter. She seen me and immediately leaned away from him.
Once I got up to the counter she sort of treated me like customer. She even recommended to the both of us to play a game of pool. We ended up playing and I asked him if he plays pool a lot and he said he rarely plays. Even told me he hasn't played in a few years. It was at this point I had a bad taste in my mouth. Why wouldn't I she basically lied to me?
Later on, she told me that she mistakenly told me he played pool. We got into a fight about it and I decided to distance myself for a couple of days. Once we got back together again, she apologized for it. It wasn't soon after this incident she went on a training exercise at another base.
So she left for this training exercise and was going to be gone for 30 days. We had agreed that she would call every night when she had time. It worked out well at the beginning she called the first 3 nights but after that I think I only received a call or two from her.
There was some people I knew that went on that trip that came back a few days before her. I found out from them she hooked up with someone. She must have known I knew this because I never received a call from her with her incoming flight information. When I did eventually see her I let her know I couldn't see her no more. She was emotionless and didn't even say anything. To be honest, I'm glad it went that way I was 100 % done.
Lesson learned
I learned a few things from this relationship. First off, I should have listened to my thoughts when I found the situation off. I'll admit that women that are overly aggressive I should avoid. A lot of her hyper personality didn't really align with mine. Her hyper personality often embarrassed me. I'm a laid back kind of guy, I don't like a lot of attention.
I'll admit I was a jealous and overly possessive person while I was with her. Probably had a lot to do with trust issues. I challenged her a lot numerous times. These were traits I was able to drop in future relationships. I just simply didn't date girls who were big flirts or overly aggressive at first. I also didn't date another girl who was in the military. I'm not going to lie living in the military dorms it is much a sausage party.
Moving foward
Alright this relationship almost made it a full year. I think I was more miserable than I was happy. I didn't soak with my emotions after I cut it off. What happened next was a rebound.
The rebound relationship actually was much better. I can remember bringing my date to the dorms for the first time. Guess who was sitting in the day room? It felt good seeing her look on as I was courting my date to my room. A few weeks later Danielle tried to talk to me but I was short with her and I said had to go. A few months later she was out of the military.
I hope you enjoyed this story of my first real longterm relationship. I'll have more like these as we inch closer to Valentine's Day.
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@coolmidwestguy...
I hadn't had a chance to stop by and say hello yet... So... hello! This was certainly an in-depth account, of what we humans experience sometimes... in regard to relationships. I know you've been informed about joining The Terminal Discord... But as your post was centered around love, and Valentine's Day... and I am known as the "Bridge Builder"... I wanted to share a few things. Not trying to take away from your post brother... Rather... help elevate the awesomesauce. Check this post out...
https://peakd.com/hive-189306/@grindan/love-letters-on-hive-a-contest-where-everyone-wins#@saffisara/re-wesphilbin-rpy1y4
@grindan is a dear soul... For sure a good person to follow... check out her post, brother man ... maybe her other posts. This is what I do... lurk, spread positive vibes, and build positive bridges. Hope to meet you soon at The Terminal... (hint hint lol).
!LUV
Thank you so much for appreciation. I checked out the post above. I love her idea and I have my own perfect person who's here at Hive I would mention. Unfortunately I don't think I can make the deadline but that doesn't mean I won't do it still because I truly like the concept:) I love challenges, I have done plenty of them over at read cash
@coolmidwestguy...
Oh! No worries my friend. Just trying to share some love. Nice to meet you... I hope to see your blockchain journey grow!
Thank you for the luv. Nice to meet you as well. See you around :)
@coolmidwestguy, @wesphilbin(1/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki |
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-Hi! @coolmidwestguy Sir! Well it's sad that you experience that kind of relationship, flirty girl? Well just to think..it's so hard to do. Hehe. Not good to judge, but there is always reason for everything that is happening in each and everyone's life. Just see it as a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we meet people according to God's purpose in our life, some of them become part of us to teach us lessons, some instances that we are the lessons for them. What matters in a relationship of any kind..is to be faithful, truthful and honest..most of all trustworthy. Acceptance is also important. But when God's plan is not aligned with the plan, we humans cant do anything about that.
That is why God should always be at the center of any relationship for guidance! Thank you for sharing your story sir!🙂.. Have a blessed day!🙏😇-
Very true everything for that matter has a purpose. Hey I learned and changed from it. God bless you and thanks for the comment.
-Hehe ok Sir! Have a blessed day!😇🙏
Keep in touch and make this relationship enough Keep.supporting us and enjoy the best.
We learn the hard way. It's better that that ended the way it did before worse things could have happened. That must have been an awkward 45 minutes 😁
Yes could have been worse staying. Glad I felt enough is enough. Oh the awkwardness disappeared in that 45 minutes, haha
Well you were young my friend, and surely at 20 you wanted to eat the world. You made me remember my younger days, where I thought I knew everything about the world, and that I could be in control of everything, and boom!, life slapped me one after the other.
You have the same way of thinking that I do, in terms of relationships, I prefer people who are calm, who don't call attention by raising their voices and who are very intelligent.
The positive part is that you learned your lesson, and surely that helped you understand, that it is not good to maintain personal relationships with co-workers, at least I am not a friend of that, I prefer to separate work from all this and find friends in other places, like hive, or practicing one of the hobbies that I like, I know there are many people who have the subject of cinema or video games in common.
Your story is interesting, although I would like to know if one day that girl had the courage to talk to you and tell you why she changed you for another person? At least one explanation would be good from her.
I hope you also don't have a grudge against her, after all they were young and inexperienced haha.
!BBH
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@coolmidwestguy! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @contagio. (1/5)
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Nope never had the conversation on why. I was fed up with wondering all the time what she was up to when I wasn't around. I felt good not having closure, the rebound really helped. It never bothered me to get closure besides I'm sure it would have been more lies anyways. I might as well continue with the story of the rebound. Coming soon my friend :)
We have this phrase in the Philippines.. "walang forever" means there's no forever 😂😂...✌ at least you have a son now .
Glad there was no forever :)
Wow I really enjoyed it but I’m not happy as to how everything ended.
I was so happy with how you and her stared. Like when you entered the room and the way she talk to you and ask you to join her.
Your story is nice.
Greetings
Thanks there were good times but looking back there were more toxic things that just drive me crazy. I couldn't trust her and many people told me things and gave me warnings. I guess I ignored many and a part of me didn't want to believe it.
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That's interesting story and some lesson to learn from your previous relationship.
I heard this on social media quite a lot about their reputation. I guess, what people said, it's kinda true then 😄
Well when it's 10 guys to 1 girl (this is a guess btw) the competition can be fierce. Whenever a new girl recruit arrived it was the talk amongst many guys. I just courted non military girls after that, lol
We learn from our relationships or we should, specially from the first one, I understand you... I think many of us have more or less similar stories like yours at least me and others that looked like a TV show😅, anyway it's always a pleasure to know more about you.
Yes we learn not to make the same mistakes. I have been spreading my wings lately telling more about past. Was going to to use my Lost Love article from read, I m mean re-write onto white space not copy but I was unsure how that works here.
Yes if you change some % of the article no problem at least I read that in a group.
She's like the kind of girl who will get close to every man and when they have no use anymore, she will just dump them like a hot potato. And instead of saying it directly, she will just show with the new guy and it's up to you if you will get it that "We're done, so forget about me and back off." Like seriously 🙄. I actually feel relieved you didn't end up with her. I still like the Filipina girl you mentioned before than Danshit, ahaha.
Danshit, hehe. What I didn't mention is people warned me of her but it was too late I was already with her. Almost got into some fist fights with other guys, oh she was so not worth it She totally wasn't my type. Without her though I wouldn't be who I am today though.
Oh the Pinay 😁 hehe. She was like 3 relationships later.
Hi sir, nice to see you here. This story was a little bit different from the filipina women that you've shared.
Well, I guess its not a healthy kind of relationship you were with this women if that's the case, with what she's doing.
Im glad to finally meet you here, Im at Winx1988 at read by the way.
Hey you :) I so wanted to share that other story but in different context. Even though the ending was sad I still loved her :)
How nice to know about that, I'm willing to read, any story of love.
Yay! 🤗
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Uh oh! That's all I can say, big bro. That was kind of sad, but those moments always make for great learning experiences. It reminds me of Rascal Flatts' song, "God bless the broken road, that led me straight to you!" The lessons you learn from failed relationships can range from the small to completely life-changing. Cheers!!!
Yes it was a relief getting out, I wasn't too sad tbh. I'm not saying rebounding is the answer but it did serve to be a good transition. Speaking of sad, my lost love story is sad :)
I feel your sentiment right there, big bro!
There are a lot of things that everyone can learned about this story of yours. ♥️ About this girl, it is good that you everything was ended about you. As like what I always say, you deserve nothing but the best 🤗
Thank you there is always tomorrow to find the best haha 💚 🤗 I either find the wrong person or it's the wrong time
Wow! This was super interesting as I was glued from the beginning to the end. Relationships like this always hurt especially when you had expected something different from her. Well, I kind of love her personality by talking to a stranger for the first time and asking to sit with her... That could be dangerous but she was bold.
I believe in all failed relationships, we learn some lessons to help us in other relationship if we fortunately found ourselves in it.
I think you did the right thing then by letting go off her because of her lifestyle. Flirting and lying are something I detest. Even if one is overly possessive and jealous of the other partner, they could use that against you know they are your weak points.
At least you found someone better and here you are today. It was a beautiful love story journey you took me on. 1994.... That was when I was born.
Haha Im old. I still might have some clothing from back than 🤫 So glad to hear you enjoyed it. I learned a lot from that relationship, indeed we all do from our 1st one. Stay tuned my next will article will be the "rebound" after her.