It's been a tough week; Forget work, the virus rubbish and all the other pressures of daily life...It's been a tough week because we've watched the fast-decline of one of my cats and it's left me feeling very depressed and sad.
Merlin, our elder-statesman at twenty two years of age, took a turn for the worst around we week and a half ago but in this last couple of days has really gone downhill. He's very old for a cat of course, but that doesn't negate the feelings Faith and I are having; We are really depressed and sad.
Merlin has been steadily losing weight for some time and has gone from a very strong and active cat to a slow-moving, skinny little fellow. Of course we have given him the best care possible and he has shown no sign of being in any pain, as is the way with cats, however it's time to take him to the vet which is happening this evening.
Merlin walks very slowly around the house moving by feel. We're not certain if he is totally blind although expect that he only sees shapes or shadows as he will walk right up to something, bump it with his head or feel it with his whiskers then stop, turn and move on; It's very sad to watch as he spends a lot of time slowly walking in circles. Only just now he walked right through his milk bowl. It's really sad and it makes me feel very upset. Yeah, I know, I'm supposed to be tough, but Merlin is my best mate, has been for twenty two years and...
Hang on...
...Ok, I'm back.
I'm supposed to be tough and manly, but this little fellow is such a big part of my life and it has been really distressing to watch him decline...And it will only get worse.
When Merlin stops pacing and bumping into things he sleeps in that little basket you see. I took this photo a couple days ago. The basket is in my office so he's close to me and we talk as I work, although he doesn't say much these days.
The worst part is seeing him bump into things and sometimes when he stops he'll just sit there right in front of a wall staring at it, obviously seeing nothing.
We have talked about euthanising him which brings me great sadness; I can barely even think about it however we must. It may be tonight, it may not; We will wait to see what the vet has to say. Quality of life is far up my personal list of priorities and whilst Merlin is comfortable he doesn't have much quality of life so we will do what we feel is right for him, no matter how hurtful that is for us. It's a shit situation and has brought me a great deal of stress this week. I'm pretty depressed.
We cuddle a lot though, and I talk to him which makes me feel a little better. He can't jump up on the bed any more so we pick him up and place him there, on the couch, my desk...But we have to watch him as he could hurt himself if he was to try and jump off. So, I'm spending a lot of time with him sitting nearby; I suppose a happy by-product of working from home due to the virus thing.
We bring pets into our lives knowing we will usually outlive them and will suffer through their loss and yet we do it time and again. I suppose the joy of having them with us balances the pain of losing them, but losing them is just so damned painful.
Merlin has simply been the best friend to me; An amazingly intuitive cat, loyal, fun and adventurous. He has been with us throughout some very difficult times and has given us so much enjoyment and happy memories. Our other cat, Cleo, adores him and he loves her too and the house will feel his loss greatly.
I do not know what will happen tonight, in eight short hours, but I know for certain that a better friend one could never find.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
Right along side you as a blubbering mess with this post.
Thank you mate. He's gone now. We were there and last night wasn't pleasant. My eyes hurt this morning, and yet there's more tears somehow. I'm going to miss that little boy for the rest of my life.
Extra pets for all other kitty kind. It's okay to feel like shit forever about this.
Forever is about how long I think it'll take before I feel better. Lol.
He was a cool little fellow. Such a good nature. Miss him so much.
NO. You are not SUPPOSED to be 'tough and manly' - you are MEANT to be 'human'. Sorry to hear about Merlin - an animal companion on the decline after 22 years (wow) is gonna hurt. Shedding a tear for you over here mate - shed a few yourself, it's actually quite a manly thing to do.
Yeah I know...I try to pretend to be a big man though. I'm pretty miserable at the moment. It's difficult to work actually. My mind and heart is elsewhere. Thanks for your kind words.
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ENGAGEtokens.22 years is quite a long time
G-Dog. I know we see you as some kinda gun toting, take no shit tough guy but sadly I got a newsflash... Despite our obvious apparent hero-worship, you are just one of us buddy, human!
When our emotions related to death, love and that whole godawful 'saying goodbye to someone we love approaching' deal threaten to overwhelm us - it is from a place of duality.
We can avoid the pain by not loving, feeling and letting another in BUT then we don't get to have all that good stuff. OR We can feel the whole range of the very best of human emotion, this however cannot be fully experienced without the risk of that pain.
We can embrace the fact that love and loss and pain are all inextricably linked and dive in absolutely certain that at some time, sooner or later the sunny skies will be broken and the black clouds will move in. Yup! life is crap isn't it? This is probably the cruelest aspect of genuine connection.
We cannot of-course enter in to such things consumed by the fact of one day because then we would miss all the joy. We would miss all the funny, heart-warming 'touch your heart' stuff that makes every single day worth living. There's no real choice after all is there?
Merlin has clearly known a boatload of love and care and has obviously given much back in return. I remember someone from my previous job having the stupidity to use the term "It's only a dog' after myself and my family were utterly bereft after losing our springer spaniel Lady quite a few years back. I have never trusted that opinion when it comes to pets. They are another family member and add to the family in immeasurable ways.
I remember my Daughters were devastated when I said I would never have another dog in the house because it was just too painful to endure the loss that was inevitable. Jeez I was naive. We had another within a year when I realised that we would miss out on so much for the peace of mind we would gain.
I am sure that however this story plays out it will be based on the right decision for the right reasons. Funny how those hugs that we know are heading towards the last we will share, become so damn precious isn't it?
Your words tell the true story that you have little denial regarding what is to come. Wishing you Faith and Cleo all the very best wishes and love to endure that pain, thinking about all the very best aspects of Merlin is still the best course of action in my opinion. To Merlin I wish him the very best end to his adventure and am incredibly pleased he got to play out his life in the company of such an adoring family.
The tears if, and more likely when they come are testament that you loved and you lost. They are actually a sign of love, compassion and the kind of people that you and Faith are. Take really good care my friend. Thinking of you all...
P.S. I realise that I m talking about Merlin like he has already gone, that's not my intention. It is just that such profound thoughts and feelings, lead us there at times like these and I know that you are all too aware that even if Merlin has a reprieve and hopefully is given however much extra time whilst comfortable. You are wholeheartedly aware that this is something you will endure sooner than you would like.
Hi mate and thanks for your words. It's Saturday morning here and we said goodbye to Merlin just after 6pm last night. It was so hard and of course Faith and I were distraught. Feeling the life go out of him, his body go limp and face blank will stay with me for ever. My eyes hurt this morning, and I feel terrible, and I miss my little buddy so much. We'll be ok though.
We are going to bury him tomorrow and that will not be pleasant either but we will begin to heal, to remember him as one of the most important things in our lives and pour all our love into Cleo. She already god spoilt so I don't know what the next stage of spoilt is...But we'll do that.
Thank you for your kind words.
!ENGAGE 100
ENGAGEtokens.Your words give me encouragement, thank you ♥️
Losing a pet we've spent so much time with is like losing a loved one... I understand how you might feel, wanting to spare him suffering even though you are suffering.
Right now, Merlin probably feels more loved than ever, with all the love and attention he's getting, and that's what matters
I'm a good hugger Sofi, and have been deploying many of my best ones on Merlin lately...Like always. :)
He's such a good little boy and a great (best) mate. Losing him will be very painful but we would never want him to be in pain, or to live a life that is a blur with no quality. We'll see what happens at the vet tonight. I'm not ready, but will have no choice I guess if the worst happens.
Thanks for your comment and nice words. Much appreciated.
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.22 years .... oh .. enough and a long time for a true friendship. I'm sorry for you and Merlin. I hope he doesn't suffer any more and you can be happy to think you have offered him a beautiful life so far..
He's had a nice life and has been very well loved. He runs my household and what he says goes...We'll have to work out something else when he is gone although I expect Cleo will step into his role and start bossing us around. She does already in truth.
Thanks for your kind words. I'be been miserable for a couple weeks and it's been difficult not to let it come out in my writing, although those who know me would see that it has.
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ENGAGEtokens.My heart really goes out to you because of Merlin. I wish Merlin could just get well😥😥, he looks so innocent and adorable
Thank you mate, I really appreciate it. Yes, we would pay any money to get him well, however that's not something that can happen. Old age is not curable. He's had a very nice life though, the best of everything and we have had many years of friendship. Losing him will be tough and to be honest I'm not ready for it and am dreading what may happen tonight. We'll see soon though and Faith and I will have to deal with the aftermath. Our other cat, Cleo, will be lost without him and that's also sad as there's no way to explain to here where he is. So sad and depressing.
Thanks for your comment which I really appreciate.
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I pray for the fortitude to bear whatever will happen.
All is well
ENGAGEtokens.Thank you so much
Seeing someone in pain is very painful to us. Especially when that someone very dares to us. Yes, it hurts because you're not ready for what might happen. It's more painful when seeing merlin slowly being weak. What is that or who is that, when we start treasuring it. That makes us very depressed because we are afraid of something.
Imagine you have him for more than 20 years. I hope you will feel better soon, doesn't need to be now because you're still mourning.
Be strong man..
Hi mate, thanks for your nice message. Losing that which is close us is always difficult but made slightly easier by support from others.
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.!ENGAGE50
Lol, you need to put a gap between the number.
!ENGAGE 15
Oh fuck been doing it all wrong, and I have tears for Merlin, ahhh, at least someone told me I am doing it all wrong. Let's try again, lol, school of write that engage stuff right bloody mary lol
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All good, I did the same, that's why I'm telling you.
Yeah, Merlin huh? So sad. He's my best friend and I'm going to miss him so much. No one will understand how much, except Faith of course, who will miss him too. Losing pets is the pits!
Ah... Sigh... I remeber how it feels. Not a good feeling. Lucky you two have each other and will get through this together.
Now round 2 of Mary spreading her engage tokens on the Hive😂😂
!ENGAGE 15
It hasn't been a good night.
Hey Mary, if you do not hold 1001 ENGAGE tokens you cannot distribute them.
Arhhhh. Ok this turns into comedy. Look at cute Mary spreading her lovely engage tokens in the Hive... Ooo but wait... Just like in the song You can't touch this tanananna cuz Mary does not have the tokens she wants to generously spread. Oh snap snappity snap😂😂😂😂
Delightfully embarassing, congrats Mary Dimples with her head in the sky🤣👀
You need to have 1000 ENGAGE, in order to use this service.
You need to have 1000 ENGAGE, in order to use this service.
ENGAGEtokens.It is a very hard thing to do. But when the life becomes just a blur of existence we need to decide some times for our four footed family members.I am one that believes our pets never truly leave us and after passing they will find away to let you know they are fine. They love us with out judgement, and we love them back with out judgement. I am sure what ever happens, he will be, like his namesake, in a magical place.
Hey, thanks for your cool message; Made me tear up a bit. Yeah, Faith named him Merlin because he brought a little magic to our lives, and he will be fondly remembered for that. Never forgotten. It's incredible how deeply-ingrained pets become to a human; They have such a power over us.
hello dear friend @galenkp
I am very sorry for the situation you are living in and especially for the difficult decision you have to make.
I went through this several times with my dogs, I know it is very painful, it suffers a lot.
It comes with having pets but never gets easier does it? we will have the wonderful memories to keep, but that seems like a small consolation at this point. Thanks for your message.
There’s nothing wrong with emotion my friend. It’s natural to feel and express them, despite what some societal norms are for men. I feel better each time I let it go.
I feel for your loss, I’ve gone through three cats when I was at my parents house, one of them I picked out myself, Cuddles.
We went to an animal shelter before I was a teenager in search for a cat to adopt and I fell in love with this tiny white fur ball. I picked her up in a dark colored wool sweater, with her white fur all over me and she fell asleep in my arms. That’s when I knew she was my cat. 16 years later, I had to spend my last moments with her in my arms the same. She was frail and sickly but she still purred when she heard my voice. I held her and talked to her for a precious but short 90 minutes before I had to leave and she passed in the night while I was gone. I think me holding her helped her be at ease, I wasn’t living at home at the time and I knew she was starting to fail. I will share a picture of my little cuddles with you tomorrow, she was a wonderful cat.
I know how hard it is to be on the edge of losing something so precious, I still feel the twinge of emotion as I’m writing this. It’s good to know that Merlin is loved and enjoyed a good life in a great home. He will definitely Rest In Peace.
Yes, it's never healthy to hold that emotion in, and I'm happy to show it but it's so damned draining. Such a crappy situation. But like you say, he's had a good life and we will continue to do our best for him until the end.
It's funny isn't it, the way cats seem to pick us. We also had a white cat called Dixie, damned fur would go everywhere. I think I had 20 of those lint roller things all over the house and my office to keep my suits free from fur...A losing battle. I think Cuddles might have enjoyed getting fur all over you...Little devils that they are sometimes.
Thanks for your comments. I'm feeling pretty low right now but it's just part of pet ownership I guess. I have my #weekend-engagement topic coming out later tonight so that should bring a few smiles I hope. I'm posting a random every day item and asking people to tell me what it is -wrong answers only, so should be fun. 40 hive on offer this week.
Thanks for your message. I'll see you around. Have a great Friday and weekend, when it arrives.
22 years. wow. i had no idea cats live that long. but i think it is a different thing for house cats vs outdoor cats. Think our oldest cat was around 10 years old, but he looked like he gone through wars. Also it is a weird thing, we had 3 cats that got to "old" age and all of them just left and never come back.
It's quite unusual for a cat to live so long. I think the longest recorded is 30 but the average is something like 12-15 I think. Cats have a tendency to do that, slink away and die somewhere; I'm not sure why. Merlin is an indoor cat and only goes outside if we are with him, usually daily, but not these days. We would be devastated if he just disappeared.
I feel it...
Sadness...
Yeah, a shit situation mate.
Reading this made me sad.
So I looked over next to my pillow. Gave Lil Jess a squeeze and She let out a loud meow. She makes me smile...
You are right, they bring such joy to our lives. Sucks to say goodbye. Be strong for Merlin, who can no longer be strong for himself.
I don't know why it is, but they have a way of making us smile don't they? It's what makes it so hard to say goodbye, but also what makes the memories so strong.
It's thoroughly depressing when it gets to that stage.
[hugs]
Oh get over it XP
Thanks Ry :)
Yeah, there hasn't been much manliness lately I can assure you.
Remember the great time you both have had together during all these years. That will never go away.
Yes, I agree that that's the best course of action and those memories will endure.
That's 7 years longer than any cat I've ever had. He's tough enough for both of you.
Sorry, mate. Give him a cuddle from us.
Thanks mate. I just came home from the office...Faith told me he got stuck behind a cupboard/shelf thing and freaked out...He's so frail and not being able to see would make it worse...Poor little guy. I think I know where tonight is headed and have a few hours to prepare.
Im so sorry mate :(. This Is so heart breaking,
hope he gets all better..its so sad and I've just been talking to my friends about merlin and cleo.. Like they ar so adorable and merlin has been alive for 22 years now.. It so sad that he is sick.. Hope he gets well soon..
We had this stray dog that lived in my university campus. he died due to malnutrition somedays ago and i only got to know about it through a friend who feeds the dogs. We called him Pablo as in Escober cause he could smell out who among us had weed. But he died and i feel empty. He was just a stray dog but enough to make me sad where merlin means so much to you. I cant even imagine what you are going through..sigh!
Thanks mate. Merlin won't get better, it's age not illness that ails him. The thought was appreciated though. It looks more like tonight we will have him put down at the vet as difficult as that is going to be. I am already not dealing with it well but we feel that may be the best option for him and that's what matters. I'll have to cowboy up and deal with it. I will hold him until he goes though, and Faith and I will bury him next to the two we have previously lost on the weekend...If it goes that way. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it...And stay off the weed mate, it dulls your senses. :)
Nooo😣😣.. But its logical.. Poor guy must be hurting pretty bad..
Lol i know :D. Pable used to sniff it out but not in me though.. Im more of a liquid guy..though no poison is good for you but still.. Always kept my hands away from veggies.
Uncle G-dog and Faith are not in for a good night. We'll do what we think is best though.
The only green I'm interested in is...
...Taken yesterday for a post I'm doing on the weekend.
It is tough to see a beloved pet decline like this. We have had a few cats pass and it doesn't get any easier. Just have to be sad and try to get by as best you can.
Good luck with your vet visit and hopefully things work out the best way possible.
Thanks mate, it's always tough huh? Kinda sucks, feeling this way, but I fear it will be much worse in three hours from now.
Thats an old cat right there. Its almost as old as i amhave. I think this is oldest i have heard of.
The story of this cat is so painful but cheer up man.
Talk to the vet and hear what they have to say.
Although i don't like cats but this story is a touching one. Accept my condolences.
It is likely Merlin will be put down; There is no cure for old age. I think we are leaning towards euthanasia as it is probably the best decision for Merlin. Thanks for letting me know you don't like cats, possibly not so relevant at this moment, but you're entitled to voice your opinion.
Be strong!!
Oh gosh I have tears in my eyes. Tough. Very tough. I really do not know what to type.
I've been that way all day. It will be worse tonight as I think we have made a decision on our course of action. Not the Friday night I would have liked, but there's never going to be a good time.
Oh gosh 😭
It's a real hit. I've been through that with all my cats and it never gets easier. One of them was called Merlin as well. And one made it to 21 and was in the same state at the end. When they get to the end I think they just want to pass on, and it's OK. It's inevitable, but it's really sad - i never blog about this stuff because I still get upset. Best wishes.
Whenever something like this happens, I feel very sad.
When I was a kid, my father gifted me a white puppy. He was around me for 3 years only and died very young because of some illness.
His death brought me so much sadness that I never got another one.
22 years is quite long...and in that much time, they becomes a part of your life.
Well, in life, nobody stays together I guess. Everyone has to part ways...
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My heart goes out to you both. I have to think this is why Whiskey was invented, and enough of it to dull the memory of the day long-term.
Yes, I agree with you. Last night was terrible. It's amazing how much one can miss a pet. I'm a bit of a mess at the moment, but we will both get through it I suppose, and remember Merlin for the great little fellow he was. I couldn't have asked for a better best mate.
Ah, I'm very sorry to hear this mate. You don't have to be all manly and tough, no one does when they're confronted with seeing a good mate in this condition. It's normal to feel vulnerable, it just means that you care deeply for him. I hope Merlin won't feel too much pain, and hopefully the visit to the vet will bring some comfort. Best wishes to you ❤️.
Thank you mate. It's been a depressing time. He feels no more pain now; It's Faith's and mine to feel now.
Ah, sorry for your loss mate. I just read your latest post. It's good to know that Merlin's in a better place now, one with many pets, purrs, and an endless balls of yarn to play with. Stay strong, and take care <3
Cheers mate. We did the right thing by him. It was hard, but necessary as him being in pain or suffering was not an option. We miss him, but are thankful for the twenty two years we had.