I was reading an article from Australia stating that some children are becoming more violent during lockdowns, and it is affecting all ages. There was nothing concrete in the article, but it doesn't surprise me that behavioral changes are starting to be noticed and I think it is going to increase, as I have said before.
While humans are built to adapt to changing conditions, the disruption that even this short period in history can have is immense, and people are going to be affected in many ways, depending on the conditions applied. None of us have an identical experience to anyone else, because even if what we go through is similar, the way we filter it through who we are is always different. This means that while reactions can be predictable, there is still variation.
Constant change is the way life goes and our ability to adapt to it, depends largely on our choice to change ourselves for it. Much of our life is not experienced by choice, yet we can affect how we react to it immediately and deal with it as time progresses.
For example, I know people who have experienced some kinds of childhood trauma, ranging from bullying at school to being physically abused by a members of their family. Each sees themselves as living a negative childhood, but the way they use the experience differs, with some being victims of the world, using the past as an excuse as to why they are unable to do this or that. Others use the past to empower them, making it an excuse as to why they can. Some are weakened, some are strengthened, but why is there a difference in the first place?
Perhaps it is innate, perhaps some people are just luckier than others in the way they have been born and the way their brain and emotions function - however, does that mean that who we are and how we behave, can't be affected?
I don't think so, otherwise all of the people blaming advertising and fastfood chains on the obesity epidemic are completely wrong - if we can't affect our own behavior, then others can't affect our behavior either - which is obviously not the case.
Also, if it was the case, every time someone says "you made me feel" they are also very much wrong, because the way we feel affects the way we act, which is why I believe we need to be very careful with our emotions.
I do not mean protect ourselves from negative emotions, as that is ridiculous. What I am talking about is understanding them and thereby, making them ours. A lot of people say "my emotions" without having the ability to control them in any way, especially when they are upset. Just like crypto, if you do not control the movement, it is not yours.
People get upset at this or that and believe they are entitled to show their emotions unrestrained, dumping them on those around them, regardless of the harm they may cause. Not only this, the entitlement extends to doing it "freely", where not only can they vent, but there can be no consequences to how they act - their emotions give them rights to harm and shield them from response. Nonsense.
Too often these days and for the last decades, we have been encouraged to feel our emotions, but not control them. What this means is that as a society, we have become thoughtlessly reactive, without the training to have control through reflection first applied before the reaction is released. Not only this, society through the internet encourages unrestrained emotional response, because drama and the transactions it creates can be monetized.
The more we are thoughtlessly reactive, the more we are controlled by outside influences and our inability to think and act for ourselves can be directed by those who engineer where and what we experience. This makes us consumers that no longer have choice in what we consume, because we no longer reflect on who we are and what is suitable for us, and instead defer our preferences to what is suggested to us to consume, which ultimately triggers our narrow emotional responses and doubles-down on directing our behavior.
For a long time, I think things have been assumed as getting better in the world, yet as we can see in the last couple years, things can change rapidly. Just a year ago, so many of the things that are happening around the world today were deemed impossible with people I know saying, "it will never happen here" under the assumption that people had control. Yet, here it is happening.
Violence comes in many forms, yet we do not see the violence that we inflict upon others because we make a choice at some point not to take control of ourselves and instead, choose to be thoughtlessly reactive. When it comes to our immediate emotional responses throughout the day, we might feel okay with this, but what it means is that as a group, we can be shifted, applying our inability to control our emotions at a mass scale, fracturing groups and enacting violence - and feeling entitled to do so.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
An important paper on epigenetics showed how Holocaust survivors - who had experienced a long period of high-level cortisol - produced more Cortisol-sensitive children (needing less 'stress' to trigger high 'alarm response'), as these were in a sense 'warned' during development in the mom's belly that there would be 'danger' outside once they were born.
I'm very curious if we see a similar pattern in the next-generation kids that are born in this era, from parents who felt the anxiety of the pandemic.
I believe (or am learning) most emotional regulation isn't a lack of will-power, but mostly stems from a lack of knowledge on how to balance our neurochemistry. Just teaching kids some breathing exercises and educating people on the importance of blocking blue light and not eating sugar (No, that's not all, just keeping it simple for the sake of this comment :D) will make a huge difference in 'emotional' (out-of-balance hormonal) responses in people in general.
That is really interesting. I remember reading something else about how out of the survivors, there were two distinct groups, people who saw themselves as survivors and those who saw themselves as victims. There was a clear difference between quality of life depending on which.
I wonder what happens if the cortisol thing is cross-referenced, would there be a correlation?
I agree. I think the willpower part might be more genetic, but can be trained. Those who don't think about these things and find it easy still, are the lucky ones.
And yep - it is pretty easy to start people on the right track as children, unfortunately, most parents are too busy soaking in blue light, while eating sugar, gasping at what they are reading about some random celebrity! :D
I think so. Apparently what gives some of the survivors stress is knowing they survived because they had to be a bit of the 'bad guy' by giving up people from their own community, giving them a better chance of survival (not being killed first, at least.)
So yeah, thinking of yourself as a victim or as someone who is okay with knowing that they had to do what they had to do will probably show difference in Cortisol response. Not sure if the research talks about that, just know that explaining people that their 'evil actions' make sense evolutionary speaking (always do as much as you can for survival) showed a lowering stress response.
Crying! It's so true. Also 'Silent Face Syndrome' (unofficial term for a new phenomenon) is now a thing: where the child doesn't get enough facial expressions/response from the parents as they're staring at their phones. It's a huge stressor for a child who doesn't yet have all the means of communication, and gets a huge part of its brain and even immunological development from literally 'being seen'.
It is interesting to consider, that in history (for example with the Nazis) they were able to do what they did in the first place, using much the same logic. Over the last decade or so, it has returned, where groups feel they are fighting for their survival against other groups.
I am pretty sure I have written about this a few times in various ways. I also have noted that teens aren't very good at reading facial expressions, so they are less able to no friend from foe, as they don't pick up on whether someone is lying or not. Most of the content they consume doesn't improve the ability to read micro-expressions and even the voices are altered to change tones. It is going to cost them dearly. Cost us all.
Actually this is true with the genetic memory, and we will see it also related with the obesity, as all the stress and comfort eating will somehow go to the genetic memory of the children born in this 18 months perios, and they will be predisposed to food related behaviours, too.
i read something of sorts but pertaining to Dutch famine victims, who had sons that tended to horde more fat because of this in utero experience of lack of food, so all people born in a range of years had their all biologic response tuned towards amassing body fat, i guess mind and body response is to a point similar...
Definitely, lots of babies are born with a 'catch up' fenotype, very interesting. Explaining them when they're adults that their 'hungry feelings' are something they should ignore (and even counter by fasting often) could help them. I study Psychoneuroimmunology and one of my fellow students is a 'catch up' person (for different reasons, but still), and she totally was able to change her relationship with food once she understood what her brain told her vs what her body actually needed.
so you think it is possible to curb this behaviour by making it a conscious act? seems to me most people dont have really the capability to do this exercise and be aware of themselves... not being a scholar i believe people dont change that much, most times out of laziness, but a great majority is not capable of changing after a point, they just oscillate but return always to the same baseline...
Yes, once you can get someone to REALLY (not vaguely, not from pop science news articles, but talking with them and for example using simple sketches to explain bodily systems to them) understand how their health can be bettered by changing behaviour you'll see changes - sometimes even small and unconscious ones after a night of sleep (solidifying the knowledge).
I don't think people are lazy, but 'not acting' out of not being given the right information. If you don't know where is the exit, you'll just run around in circles until you're tired and give up (become 'lazy') finding the exit altogether.
I studied psychology and always learned cognitive behavioural therapy, but what I'm learning now makes creating real change in people a bit easier.
I hope I'll be able to write posts about this in the future, at the moment I'm mostly overwhelmed with what I'm being taught and since English isn't my first language it will take a while before I can really write the posts I want to write about this :-)
yes i really get what you say, i always had it easy, in classes i would get to result with no study at all, doors would open in my mind when the test day came, i had this idea people all are the same i came to be very sad to understand how hard it is to make peeps see their flaws on some aspects of life, i sense im confrontational, shock therapy is my thing lol, i talk blunt and this does not win me many friends, i guess i been a bit more lenient this last few years but i always think if i try and am hard with myself, i have all the right to be with others, i do get what you say about making them see, but it really is a unproductive work for the most part, i think of it like love, because i love the person, i try to reach their inner core and strike some change, i sense if i did not care about this things i would be much richer and probably would not suffer so much, i just cant help it, i think a friend must tell you unpleasant things, there is no way to be true otherwise, taps on the back do not make people friends, wish i could turn of the empathy thing, or maybe not understand nothing of this at all, serious sometimes it is like a curse, watching people and putting them in slots with such predictable outcomes, understanding can really be a thing that makes you suffer a lot...
Thoughtlessly reactive comment from an entitled member of unrestrained society!!
Glad to see the internet is alive and well in you! ;D
Not only is it alive and well, but it also controls me. I can no longer think for myself.
I have noticed that the behaviours of people including the members of my family have been changed in a negative way during the pandemic. I can say that the first is toleration to each other decreased, angriness increased. I can add social phobia as well.
It is making everyone fearful of each other in so many ways - very few are improving across the board.
The world will be a lot better if we tilt towards balancing between selfishness and selflessness. Know when to express yourself(selfish) without hurting the next person and when to control(selfless) your emotions so you don’t hurt the next person.
It is a hard balance to find, when the most famous people on earth fill their feeds with selfies.
Thank you @tarazkp honestly as much as we have the right to feel these emotions we should also deem it right to control them while making no excuses for our actions.I honestly am of the opinion that we divert those emotions to fuel us to do better in future and become stronger.
Thanks once again
Even if we can't make ourselves stronger, we can at least learn how to cause less harm to ourselves.
Great article.
"The way we feel is the way we act"
So true. The virus finally made it to this island where I'm at in Thailand, first time since this whole thing started. Now everyone is full of anxiety and fear. People are distant and cold towards eachother like I've never seen here. The community FB chat has turned into two sides (vaxer and anti-vaxers) just slinging mud. The group is called Koh Phagnan Conscious Community. The name is now comical.
I'm just starting to think fear is the real virus.
It is a Machiavellian process, isn't it? Control groups, by making them fear each other as individuals. Every argument is polarized now, with no room for nuance. It doesn't matter if you are right in one aspect, you are always wrong in countless others. Be wary, every ally is also an enemy.
Sounds like a healthy society...
my behavior changed a lot in lockdown I was carving to go out and do something and was going crazy eat a lot etc but thank god it's over now lockdown was lifted some time ago now almost every high was back to normal
It is part of a control process - deny people what they want, make them crave it - and then be their saviour by giving what was denied. We are pretty robotic :)
So true
Japan has seen a few more violent incidents in public then usually since this started.
You have a point about controlling emotions. I think most of us do not even know that we have an influence over our own emotions. Focus effects thoughts and thoughts effect emotion. Most of my anger issues were solved from realizing that. I think the difference between those who grow stronger and those who fall apart is mostly about beliefs. If you say to yourself “I can’t take it anymore”…well guess what’s gonna happen…
Anyway, at the beginning I thought it best for everyone to stay home and try to stamp this out, but we totally botched any chance of that so now I hope we can get back to living our lives without fear as much as can. Those who find solace in taking whatever preventative measures can do so. In many case, I’ll try to remain positive to be at my best
This says something, doesn't it? Japan (I have only visited once for a week or so) has to be one of the most publicly restrained culture in this regard.
I am not a fan of "positive thinking" but I do believe we can positively change our activity and part of that, is changing our thinking. Thought, word, action - is the process of creation and it cycles, with our thoughts being driven by experience too. We need to consider each component and bring harmony across the three - and then temper it with harmony across past, present and future.
The entire process so far has been botched, but they are doubling-down on that too - we are going to be controlled for a very long time and, we will enforce it as a group - like the new monkey in the cage, taught by the group, they can't have the banana.
Focus can also lead to having different thoughts pop up which lead to a different set of emotions which lead to different actions. So I am really into positive thinking. I just believe in recognizing pain and displeasure rather than sweeping it under the rug. Positive thinking is a muscle to work on. If it's easy, it's often fake.
During this pandemic, we forced our kids to stay at home which i agreed main reason to act little violent because their mental stress of doing online class and only stuck with online entertainment not that helpful to chill their brain .I think pysical activites is the best excercise for even mental stability. Hope this kind of incidence will be stoped as we are allowed to do social activites officialy since the lockdown getting over and pandemic getting converted to endemic .
it is unfortunate how isolation is affecting the behavior of the entire population, I believe that fluctuations in moods and behavior of each person becomes a determinant of personality, however these changes or character are sometimes reinforced by loved ones and close people who are responsible for making feedback from the behavior of the people around them.
The human being lives in constant change, which is also part of our evolution, and although many of us have a negative past, we always tend to improve every aspect of life, which has to be pursued.
I guess I’ll be glad two of my kids just play violent video games 😵
I have said to all the children when they tried the “you/they/this other thing made me whatever” by saying that even when I’ve been yelling at them when they made me mad, I always chose to cut loose with the full knowledge that it was the wrong thing to do and should have made the better decision.
Eventually we all started making the better decision, only took years 😓
It’s not the bestest feeling knowing that you’re deliberately doing the wrong thing for instant gratification so I can see why people prefer to pretend they have no control at all.
We have no shortage of violence in South Africa currently. And especially with the wave of looting we experienced recently, it really got out of hand.
What I find most disturbing, is the idea that "it is your human right" to give expression to your emotions. That opens the door to basically just do as you please in some cases and then blame it on circumstances...or your emotions...as if you had no control over it. In other words, if I don't like things the way they are, my emotions take over and I can do as I please...even resort to violence.
Yet when others stand up to protect their loved ones and their property, one is not "allowed to take the law into your own hands". Even when the authorities attempt to contain the violence, they must handle the culprits with gloves and please "not use excessive force" (irrespective of their own safety). There is something wrong with this picture.
I fully agree with the message contained in your post. We need to practice self-control and thus take control of our emotions. Yes, we can and will feel those emotions, but it's the way we respond to those emotions that makes the difference.
Currently there is a situation of confinement by COVID 19, which has totally changed the lives of children and adolescents and their family group worldwide, due to the measures required by the quarantine, schools have been closed, problems with public services, which have changed our daily routine and caused stress to the family group, there are strategies that can be applied in the family; emotions must also be managed because children and adolescents learn the behaviors of significant adults in their lives, so to avoid violence in children due to confinement, we must take advantage of such a situation by applying strategies such as: communicating better, respecting their spaces, their silences, being understanding, respectful, sharing more as a family, playing all kinds of games, among others.
It can also be a soft spiral upwards. I think many children were also happy to be allowed to sleep in, to be at home, that parents had time and didn't have to feel the pressure from teachers and classmates so much, especially with bullying. The danger of getting into the habit of smoking or drinking in groups has also decreased, perhaps? I don't know 🤨