A few days ago I noticed a sudden spike in the view time of one my videos on YouTube. I saw that 80% of offsite traffic was coming from a certain social media platform and far more views were coming from offsite than usual. After some digging, I found that my dad had shared a link to my video.
I didn’t even know he was watching 😬
I feel a little nervous about the fact that both my parents are watching everything I put up now. We haven’t always ageeed on things in the past. My parents often misunderstand what I say and take something I say casually or as a joke as something literal and serious. My mom even thought I was a polygamous Scientologist back when I was on MySpace. I had just thought of two provocative labels that didn’t seem to match and used them as a statement about how people focus too much on labels.
One time I trolled my dad pretty bad. After the 2011 earthquake he was messaging me often. I told him the media was blowing the food shortage narrative out of proportion He knew I was ok but I didn’t have internet connection for a day or two and so when he said “just say two words to me!” I said “I’m gay.”
My dad doesn’t have any prejudice against gay people…as long as they aren’t his son 😆 it’s not what he wanted me to be and I wanted him to realize that these kind of expectations are unfair.
He seemed to be more troubled by this statement than by his worries of natural disasters. I knew he would have a hard time accepting me if I was gay and I needed to help him get passed that point. I’m not gay, but I COULD be, and in many ways, I’m even more of an outlier in society. Some of my choices and perspectives challenge society just as much, so I wanted my father to shed a little bit of his prejudice and expectations for my own sake and also for his own.
My relationship with my parents keeps getting better and better though, and they probably don’t see it but I think a large part of that is how I troll them like this. I used to argue but I found it doesn’t go anywhere. I tried being distant but that only made things worse. So finally I realized that the best way to get through to them was playfulness and acceptance towards them but a very firm (and friendly) stance that I don’t need to be lectured by them anymore, and won’t be.
I don’t expect them to understand me, but if they want to try, I let them.
Thanks to the world falling apart, they’ve finally come to realize that I was right about many things and thanks to having to face their own mortality, they no longer stress about the little things.
It feels good when anyone shares your work with their friends. I’ve wanted to find an audience who want to share my novellas and my vlogs and podcast with their friends. Most people are busy and distracted and all of us here are busy creating our own stuff on top of any kind of exploring we do of other people’s work.
So at least I’m very thankful that my parents are doing their best to help me reach more people, even if it’s a bunch of American senior citizens 😆
I’m also very thankful that they are no longer fighting against me or doubting me and my path.
And just a reminder, if any of your friends produce something you love or something that you think might resonate with others (even if you don’t like it yourself), share it with whoever you can! Word of mouth helps an artist or creator more than anything else in the world!
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My work:
Confessions of the Damaged: novella series
digitally available on Amazon, Apple, Kobo etc
Untangled Knots : vlogs and podcast
Newest video -
Awwww.. I honestly think that good parents in their honest intentions to help their children might be going about it the wrong way, but no doubt they have pure intentions.
They are humans, we all are and so we don't always know what's best for others apart from ourselves.
Regardless, they still find a way to support, especially when time isn't on their side anymore and the best years of bonding has changed to distant busy years.
It's beautiful to see them support your craft, it's a great source of encouragement.
I know they did they best they knew how to. Still that's why I don't like parents having such strong power over their kids. Sometimes they really don't know best even when they think they do. But yeah I appreciate them so much now, especially since they are starting to realize that they didn't as much as they thought 😆
Good to hear.
There are more worse things in life than being gay, not that I approve of it, but sincerely expectations from parents can become a hassle, sometimes it's hard to beat these expectations. Nevertheless, I'm glad they were both watching your video and share sometimes, that can be encouraging.
If you hang out with enough artist, you’ll inevitably make gay friends 😆 my parents can totally accept many things but only if it’s not their kids. Not only that but just being an artist. I had to come out as an artist and an anarchist and as spiritual🧑🎨 it was difficult
I remember telling my parents that I thought I was depressed. I had to tell them "something", I said, and I teared up, while pouring the three of us some tea. I felt they were expecting me to say that I was gay but when I told them about my depression, they seemed to think that I was overreacting.
That’s EXACTLY why I said gay, because I knew that they wouldn’t understand the weight of the truth (spirituality, anarchism and art, depression could have been another) so I had to choose something that would be more of a shock to their system. It’s silly that the word “gay” was more of a shock to their system than “artist” or “spiritual”…but I guess it’s because they imagined that artist or spiritual could be pushed aside and “gay”….they have heard lots of stories of people coming out and it being a big deal and also I guess they feared for how I might be treated if I was.
In society "gay" was still seen as more of "the other" even if they didn't have anything against it.
Most of the artists they know are business people first and artists second. Anarchism just sounded like I don't want to grow up to them (I explained that I don't know if it's possible in my lifetime but I believe in pursuing it as an ideal, always). Spiritual doesn't mean I pray...it means everything I do is a prayer.
When I say artist, it meant a lot more than “I make things”. It meant more “I’m going to challenge everything that is considered normal until the day I die, not necessarily fight it, but question publicly and shamelessly ”.
Parents...
It must be tough to be a parent. It still surprises me though that almost everybody chooses to become one. Wonder if that will change in the near future
Man, it's already changed drastically. Look at the age people have kids nowadays, and all the declining populations. Honestly it makes me kind of sad that I wasn't able to find conditions that made me want to have kids, but that's just the era I was born into I guess, more options than before, but fewer stable and clear-cut options. I wasn't willing to make the sacrifices that I would have had to. I kind of hope the next generation will have more options for how they want to raise kids...
Dude my crazy idea is that kids need a supportive community and adults who have their emotional shit together more than they need 2 parental figures. I would love to have a kid-share with a few other like-minded friends.... like 4 kids for 8-12 parents and we pass them all around like their all everyone's kids...too experimental?
I don't think this is crazy at all. I see so many parents who either can't handle their kids or have no time at all for a life without their kids. Also, they can't expect us ( those without kids ) to take over their kids for too long a time. Two days with my niece and nephew already drain me, no matter how well I know them.
P.S. I feel I'm still not too old for kids so I won't say I will never get any but being a father is definitely not a dream of me any longer. It's hard work and I'm not too sure about ( the benefit of ) the world they would grow up in, without meaning to sound too dark.
Cheers!