I ordered off the senior citizen menu... Hoping that they'd bring me nothing. Just bring me a french fry, Just one.
When I saw the food, I immediately felt dread...
A huge portion size of grilled cheese.
Have I to eat this? Really?
Please no.
Secretly I hoped my date would go to the bathroom for the next hour so I could make it disappear.
I was paralyzed.
Why can't they have dogs roaming the restaurant? So I could quickly drop my food under the table.
Please disappear food... Please...
Being afraid of eating is the most bizarre fear I have. Luckily over the years, I've gotten better at it.
Fears Are Just Weird
Many fears just don't make sense. And this is one of them. We have this false assumption that certain things could happen if you are near your fear.
Oddly the fear didn't start until I was in high school. I'm not quite sure what sparked it. Maybe it was my long-term relationship. Where He also refused to eat.
It made dating awkward, we'd starve ourselves and refuse to eat, And many people didn't quite understand it.
No one told me that the way I ate was funny, Or that I shouldn't eat.
Maybe it's because I've spent most of my life fighting to stay a reasonable weight. That when I eat, People are judging my food choices, People are judging me. Because I'm not skinny.
Later on, I dated someone for six years, And it took me almost a year to finally take my first bite in front of him.
It was terrible. I'd go over to his house, And his family would offer me dinner. And I never wanted to be impolite. So I'd take a plate. Dish up as little as possible without looking rude. Then slowly eat the food while shaking uncontrollably and trying not to choke because I forgot how to swallow and chew.
Fears Can Be Silly
Sadly I wish once you saw how silly a fear was, It would go away. I realize it's crazy. Sometimes part of getting over fear as silly as eating takes practice. You just have to force it. Even though you don't want to.
I'm five dates in, With this new guy. And It's getting better. But I dread when he asks "Are you hungry" Because I know he wants the whole Dinner and movie type of date. It drives me crazy! Let's just get a soda from the gas station, And skip the food!
It's a crazy fear, Everyone eats. He knows at some point I've eaten food in my life. So it's odd eating in front of him.
Do you have any ridiculous fears like this?
Thank you for such an honest post, I had no idea what it was like to have this kind of fear of eating, I'm very glad you were able to conquer your fear. Love your posts!
Having fears is totally human but you have to take control about the fear, don't let the fear control your mind and your behavior.
The eating fear is just crazy hahaha
I have a fear of pain. I try to avoid it at any cost I do not think that's irrational. I didn't play football in high school because the fear of pain I didn't want to get hurt so I wrestled. Tell you this much there's a lot of pain with that I was trying to avoid it. I didn't learn how to ski cuz most of my friends broke their leg skiing and I can imagine a worse pain than a broken leg. I look back at life now at the things that I avoided because of Possible Pain I think of the things I really missed out on.
My wife and I have seen quite a few people who appear to be dating who should be afraid of eating in front of people. The way they attack their food, stabbing with the fork and slashing with the knife, both held vertically, it’s clear their parents never taught them how to use utensils. We can’t help but laugh.
@kaylinart Oh yes Fears, I think we all have some even if we don't want to talk about them. I have this Fear of what will people think if I actually tell them about the TRUTH of how they have lived their life. From the time they went through public school (indoctrination) into Adulthood and watching TV Programming. How they are bombarded with Advertising that makes them feel less than, and to TOP it all Off we don't really actually know about the EARTH we live on. Govt. has LIED to us all of our lives. Just look at the Monetary and Taxation system that we have adhered to, don't forget to pay your taxes. Alright enough of my RANT............Be Positive and FEAR NOT !
I believe everyone, or at least almost everyone, has some type of fear. Mine is, and always has been, being able to talk correctly. I had a really bad lisp while growing up. To the point that I had to go see a speech therapist. So, because of that I felt I was different than all the other kids.
That there was something wrong with me. I believe that to be my reason for shying away from interacting with others, among my fear of others.
Even to this day I only hang around a few people. I still fear judgement from anyone I talk to. Because I focus so much on what I say, I tend to trip
over my own words, and find myself getting tongue tied. I watch the reaction in the faces, to see if they "thought" I must be stupid. The only ones I am relaxed around, are those I have known a long time, because I know they are ok, and understand..
Maybe someday, we will all find ways to conquer these fears. Honestly, I too hate eating in front of others. I hate the way I chew, I guess.. :-)
Yea, I do have fears like this, mine has to do with making a presentation or speaking in front of a crowd, I'm a very reserved person but unfortunately once in a while it becomes necessary to explain or give a talk on a particular topic to a group of people. In such cases I have never found it easy. Although I try to tell myself I've made some improvement recently because these cases have become more frequent but I'm yet to be as confident as I would want to be in this instances. What has helped me so far is also making myself realize that I these instances will keep coming up and also preparing myself mentally for when they do.
@kaylinart Needs no fears, she is perfect as she is!
Hehe, you could eat anything you wanted in front of me, I wouldn't judge you or your eating, I would join in if it was a food I liked. ;)
It's understandable to have the fears though, but you shouldn't let judging looks affect you or how you feel. Accepting yourself as you are, what you want to aim for, and knowing you are going to get your goals when you are meant to, that is enough.
Be happy with yourself. <3 :)
hhh that happens to me as well when I date someone. But just in the first days then everything becomes normal with the time. I think it is the fear that something goes wrong. In our way of eating!Or what if the food falls on our clothes lol...
Things like that.
Fear is a primary feeling that we all experience from time to time. What does it mean the primary feeling? It is a natural and necessary feeling that helps to make appropriate action in an emergency. When we are faced with a dangerous situation through fear, we reduce the danger by choosing the most appropriate fighting, escaping or freezing behavior. But such an adaptive feeling turns into a problem that needs to be solved in some cases.If you feel an expectation that it will not be a real danger, this expectation is a fear that has become somatized, and if it causes some behavior and makes your life difficult, this is a fear that has become a maladaptive fear or anxiety.I hope my information is important to you... @kaylinart
Are you talking about eating in front of people, or eating in general? I do get nervous eating in front of people for some reason. I feel like I may look odd or funny while chewing or biting sometimes...
Eating in front of people. I have no problem eating when I'm alone. It's a bad fear isn't it? Hahah.
Yeah its really annoying. When I'm with people I choose foods that are "easier" to eat out of the fear of something messy and clumsy to eat!
Lol.
That's really odd.
You would be very lucky if the the new guy knows about it and he instead jokes about it.
Maybe it would help you get over the fear..but lol.
I too have a fear of dancing while people are looking. Huh! I would rather die than dance infront of people. Wierd enough i love dancing in seclusion.
I know ! It's terrible XD He knows about it and I think he finds it really odd. He doesn't seem to fully understand how terrified I am of eating.
lol
Wow dancing! I feel the same way you really have to get out of your comfort zone for that one.
I usually drink something little, get alittle tipsy then i can do some dancing . Will try to go it all alone. Huh! not sure how am going to pull it off.
I did not know this is a fear untill i read ur comment, because i can totaly relate. I guess i have this fear too... I usually surpass it by getting some vodka in the system and il dance like no bodys watching.but without it, id feel awkward dancing and self judging , telling my self iv got no rythm and convince my self evryone is judging and laughing at me silently.... Aaaarrrgghhh
Lol..u got yourself a solution. vodka can be a good remedy. I realise everytime i dance, something else had taken control already, god!! i can't do that all alone.
Hahaha, weird thing in life that you are facing, i have same problem too much eat means bathroom..
I F-ollowed you please F-ollow me back @angelinacastle
LOL Thats true too!
Did you have 1st date? and you were afraid to eat too much but what when BF says hey kaylinart why are you not eating let me eat you haha..
Did you F-ollow me? as i like each of your posts..
Oh wow that have to be really hard. Its something you have to do every day. Did you tell the new guy about this fear? Or else it could become really strange and he maybe thinks there is something else. Well I guess I can be happy that I dont have any fears like this :)
I did. But he insists on getting food anyways lol
If you want to overcome your fear you need to first understand it’s causes and realize that the fear you are feeling has no justification. If you repeat in your head something like “this feeling has no reason to exists” or “this fear is just a silly creation of my mind” you will eventually stop suffering from that fear.
Either way, if you find yourself “stuck” with a lot of food in front of you, you can just say you are not well on your stomach and that’s it, that’s a perfectly accepted excuse for not eating.
If you are experiencing difficulty eating in front of others, consider the source of your anxiety. Are you worried about how others will perceive you or more worried about eating the actual food itself?
When I went out on lunch alone, I tried to concentrate on the positive things.I tried to concentrate on how the food tasted and tried to enjoy that.
Wow I'll have to figure that out. Thank you hehe :)
:)))
I am always anxious as I cross the street on a road. It makes me funny at times. :) And at one point I guess I have fear of losing my cell phone. :) I think I've lost my phone and I'm starting to look. :) @kaylinart
Wow! I get like that too with my phone. But not crossing the street. LOL you are looking for your phone now?
LOL Right now I was just waiting for good news from you :) @kaylinart
I panic too when i think of loosing my phone or dont see it.
Really, i can eat in front of anybody
I experienced such fears during my high school days maybe because I was used to eating alone or with family and the idea of a stranger sitting across or opposite me made me feel uncomfortable
Very amazing participant thanks for sharing
Absolutely you discussing more peoples faced problem @kaylinart. I have some silly take some un-known meals from restaurants, riding my vehicle on the traffic road. Those time my face take various reactions and become dark red color my face.
I seriously know silly came from our negative mind. If We can change for it positive level then we can recovery soon.
funny scared child even when the curtain is shaking when the child is afraid :)I was afraid of the dark. going on my fears, sir.
From experience I have gathered that the fear and anxiety that comes with thinking too much about a future event is far worst than experiencing the event.
Fear is funny, sometimes. We as humans have limited ourselves in so many ways, because of fear of some events that may never occur
Hahaha majority is afraid of eating in front of people
I think you are not the only one facing this problem there are many, I am not afraid eating in front of people but I fell better when there is nobody lol ;)
Nice post , thank you.
Sorry, I can't relate to your kind of fear because one of my hobbies is cooking.
My own weird fear is being in a group picture. I rather be the one taking the shots.
Lol, this is very funny. I think you needed to practice because they said practice make perfect
Along the years, I've realized fear is just an illusion. I remember, once, my hockey team at school partook in the finals. Knowing a huge crowd would be there to watch us play, fear simply took over and during days, I spent hours and hours thinking and dreading the hockey match. The day of the match, there was a huge crowd waiting for us to begin the match. However, that match was the most fun I've ever had since every time we took the ball, the crowd would cheer for us and that just motivated us to do even better.
So, this experience showed me how fear can be really misleading. I had spent hours dreading a match that would go on to be one of the most unforgetable and fun matches I've ever had. Don't always listen to you fears because most of the time, the best things in life happen when you confront your fears.
I actually have that fear too, but more like when I'm eating at places like MCDonalds, KFC and you know...
I feel like everyone is staring me...
The same is true for me, but I now learn that this is a fear :) I can not relax while eating outside because I do not like ketchup to beard smear.So I do not use ketchup while eating outside.
Although I will talk about my own fear; Ailurofobi
So it makes me feel uncomfortable even in the same environment as the cat.I love cats but afar :))
the fear is really good. People get used to different situations. Sometimes when writing a post I worry about whether I use the correct words: D
So sweet......
Don' t be afraid, just do it...
Success is always for you...
Mantab sambil kencan makan apa tuh.....?
Amazing dear..Thanks for sharing it
If you are afraid of eating in front of someone, perhaps you are afraid of opening up to others when you date or are around others. Steemit is safe because you do not see us. you do not date us. But it sounds like you could be afraid of being yourself. I would ask what you truly fear and is that fear a real concern or not. I enjoyed your post. Thanks for sharing.
I have a fear of flying and I hate it because I love to travel. I have flown to Japan, Australia, South America and many other countries but now you could not get me on a airplane for all the money in the world. 😢
Good post...
Upvoted and resteemed
Don't know how many posts do I will have to post to start getting upvotes
Hey, i got solution, Did you go to the doctor and told this problem you are facing while eating a lot? Because it might be medical issue.
Yeppp just face things head on and like you said it will eventually seem silly. It is because you grow as a person and you become more able to deal with life and everything it entails! Good for you for getting past that!
one of my ridiculous fears is puke in front of a hot girl.