in #lifelast year

Pūciņa the kitty at the Summer solstice, 2021

I’ve been dealing with something that I can’t describe as anything other than an emotional block. What are the symptoms? Well. Not being able to enjoy the moment fully. The overbearing sensation of the constant background noise of everything that is going on smothering the living hell out of me. Most of it is out of my control as well. I thought I was toughening up as the times demanded. What a fool. Instead, I was burying myself, shutting myself up and down. I think I also have been a bit afraid to allow myself to be happy. You can’t have the lowest lows without the highs. Because they always come right after. I’ve been trying to manage to stay some sort of a constant only to be stuck into the limbo of numbness. Fuck that! That is no way of living, it is a way of existing, and I don't do, just existing.

I also tend to be easily affected by the emotional states of people in my life. And I don’t know how to address that at all. I don’t skip around like a magical pixie horse while someone else I care about is having a shit day. A friend of mine used to say that “emotions are like underwear, you don’t wear them out in public” or something along those lines. This is an interesting idea, only it rarely works like that. For example, my family is highly emotional. It is almost impossible to avoid the constant feed of emotions flowing your way while being in their company and to remain unaffected. It often makes me withdraw into my shell too as I am unable to deal with my own emotions and theirs at the same time.

I guess I have to remind myself that it is not my responsibility to deal with theirs, to begin with. While they say, misery loves company, they are the ones who should be learning how to deal with their own emotions while not relying on others all the time. I am not the fixer. Right now, I have to learn how to address my own emotions that I have been ignoring and fearing. This press forward and maybe one day things will be better, must stop. Every day we live counts whether it is all great or not so much, take it in. Feel it dammit! Life is full of colors, not all one tone.

Meow to you all!

How is life treating you these days?

Song of the day: Logic - Get Up


The overbearing sensation of the constant background noise of everything that is going on smothering the living hell out of me.

Are you a social media user? I mean, FB, twitter, Instagram. Allow me to share my experience: I left FB in 2016 and never joined Instagram etc etc. The relief of not being bombarded with useless information (noise) has been great ever since. Sometimes less is more. And don't push yourself too hard to be fully content, it's alright to just go with the flow.

I sometimes check FB only to see who has married who and have a new kid or something, but quickly get bored of the constantly recycled content or other peoples portrayal of their happy lives or their food pictures. Never really got into Instagram for pretty much the same reason. I have Twitter and I would say that is one of the biggest noise makers in my life I guess. Especially, the past couple of years I sense my inner misanthrope growing. Perhaps, I should stop using that as well. Sometimes I long for nothing more than to escape society all together. Well, certain aspects of it for sure.


JJust learned a new word; I guess I'm the same species \o\

Twitter is indeed a trap. I also use Twitter to share my posts and all, but I self-imposed a rule to only follow a handful of people, so 5 minutes is enough to check the whole feed at the end of the day.

Isn't it a struggle? Understanding that social media would be a great tool to leverage this 'online' entrepreneurship, but also refusing to use it due to some moral values.

Sometimes I long for nothing more than to escape society altogether. Well, certain aspects of it for sure.

We're in the same boat.

I never got into any of the three - except for the messaging ability of Facebook, and keeping in contact with friends from forums. Twitter is ok for finding contests, and promoting projects. But not my thing for chatting.


You Are Alive and have been rewarded with 0.1 ALIVE tokens from the We Are Alive Tribe, and it's paid for by the earnings on, swing by our daily chat any time you want.

I think the global situation contributes to this feeling, so I can certainly relate. Luckily Hive is a good place to release stem and vent our frustrations where FB friends and family won't be so judgmental.

 last year (edited) 

No doubt. And I understand all of us are drained and have things we go through. I guess for a while this was my coping mechanism and I wasn't really trying to address that I am not entirely ok or that I am unable to take more than what I already deal with myself.

Writing on Hive has always helped me to understand myself and different situations better as I am trying to tackle my thoughts into a post that hopefully somewhat make some sense. It is therapeutic at times. Like a mental exercise :)

I don’t skip around like a magical pixie horse

All my fantasies ruined!

If we claim our emotions as ours, we have to take responsibility for them. Too many dump their emotions on others to feel better, without thought to whom they are dumping on.

You can always message me.

Sorry! xD Yea, skipping around like that is reserved for those rare moments when everything's truly wonderful.

It is great if I can help don't get me wrong. But sometimes I can't. And sometimes it doesn't even have to be words, just the whole vibe of doom and gloom. I wish I could have that superpower of magically making things just right for everyone. Have wanted it since I was a kid. But mostly I can muster only enough to not to fall into total despair myself.


How is life treating you these days?

Idk about life, but I'm treating myself well enough ;-)
Be like Hive, improve. One block at a time. *hugs*

Song of the Grey:

- Fools, Deep Purple

I am happy to hear it, because taking good care of yourself is also important!

Will do my best. Still trying to figure out where the first block to improve exactly is located or what needs to be done to improve.

Song of the Grey is on point again! Lyrics fit the mood of this post perfectly! How are you doing that?


I'm a witness, doh. ;-)

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Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:

Feedback from the August 1st Hive Power Up Day

I liked your reasoning about emotions.
Should I hide them or not? That is the question!
It depends on what and for what reason, the occasion ...

The lack of emotions in a person strains me more than their manifestation.
What does an unemotional person mean to me?
On the one hand, it can be a person who has good control over his emotions, but sympathetic and understanding.
On the other: callous, indifferent to someone else's grief or joy.
And here, the main thing is not to be mistaken.
This is my thinking and you can disagree with it.

P.S. Great photos!