Bad Hair Day

in #lifelast month

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Daddy-Bear, you remember that I have that hair appointment today?

The Good Lady stood framed in the doorway of the Attic for all the world looking like a rather elegant ostrich albeit with mad lockdown hair.

I looked up from my laptop. Work was mad right now. Insanely busy, the day before I had been so busy that I didn't have a chance to even go for a shit.

Thankfully my body had somehow managed to reabsorb the big logs I had lined up for a brown river rafting and put them somewhere else. I hadn't needed to go since.

Maybe I was becoming a superhero and that was my big superpower discovery moment?

Well, you have remembered haven't you?

The Good Lady sounded somewhat waspish but not in a sexy desperate housewives way.

Um, there might be a problem with that?

I looked at my laptop which was vibrating from the huge volume of Teams messages that were bombarding it.

The project I am working on, it has gone into overdrive. I thought it couldn't get any worse but it has. I can't spare any time to look after the kids. I think you will have to reschedule it?

I made a sympathy face at her, which was helped by the log-jam brewing somewhere in my down belows.

I beg your pardon? Reschedule it? I have been waiting for my hair to get done for nearly a FUCKING YEAR!?

The Good Lady roared like an old Viking berserker denied his honeyed oats.

To accompany her roar, horrifyingly, she threw herself through the air at me like a demonic plastic bag.

What the FUCK?!?!

I roared in return as she body-slammed me from my office chair with its five safety legs.

We both crashed to the ground in a writhing frenzy of limbs and gnashing teeth. Her claw-like hands scythed at my beautiful face in a womanishly jealous attempt to mar my good looks.

Years of exotic fighting training from the abbey at the foot of the Shantanami mountains kicked in and I flipped her from me and leapt to my feet.

She bounced up and launched a flurry of punches at my face. Twisting, I flashed my arms out and deflected each and every one before an unseen foot of hers lashed out and cracked me square in the nuts.

GAAAARRRR?!?!

I bent double and clutched at my beautiful silk purse whilst clenching my buttocks to avoid launching a scud at Saudi Arabia.

The Good Lady pounded her ample chest with meaty man-fists and bellowed a war-cry.

MY HAIR NEEDS DONE!! NOTHING WILL STAND IN ITS WAY!?!?!

She reached behind her back and pulled out a murderously wicked looking sword, it's blade was black and long and a strange venomous looking ichor dripped from its edge.

I raised myself from the crouch into which I had fallen and lifted a hand beseechingly.

Baby, stop this! You know how important my work is to me?

My words hung in the air.

You know how important my work is to me....

Suddenly we both started laughing at the very idea.

She reached out and grabbed my hand, helping me to my feet.

Your work is soooooo important to you. Hahahahhahah!!!

She laughed and I held on to her, laughing with her at the very idea of my work being important to me.

Ah, you are right, sweet-cheeks.

I wiped the hilarity tears from my eyes.

Fuck work. Go get your hair done, missy!

Sort:  

Baby, stop this! You know how important my work is to me?

At that moment I knew she could her hair done. 😂

I must admit, it looks lovely but because we are still half locked down it took four hours!! Only one person could work on it. I mean, it sounds like a formula one service!!

If the result is amazing, it was worth it!
Four hours is a freaking long time though. It must be smashing then. 😎

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If it wasnt lockdown I would be suspicious that she had gone somewhere for a coffee :OD

Maybe she discovered an illegal coffeehouse, where they dress hair too, or the other way round. 😃

Like a 21st century speakeasy!

Have there, all off a sudden, been sacks filled with coffee beans somewhere in the house. And has there been a smell of roasted coffee beans hanging about the house for a while? If so, you might be onto a trail of bootlegging here! The Coffee Speakeasy case of the century, hair dressers as a cover up?

Would almost state that this is just the the kind of a case for a certain gentleman who never tells...

Haha, I was thinking of said gentleman the other day,. Much fun in writing that one!

I must pursue the smell of coffee beans :OD

Well I just completely lost it at "demonic plastic bag". Fortunately I was on the computer so I could highlight it and find my place and move on from there otherwise it would have been like when I was reading one of the Terry Pratchett books and lost it at the point where Rincewind mutters "oh urinating dog" after reading too many glyphs that looked like a urinating dog, then had to find where I was, read that bit again, rinse repeat for a bit.

It was even funnier than the idea of your work being important to you XD (more like impotent maybe which is what I typod the first time XD)

Rincewind!! Oh he was hilarious!! You know, I really must reread some of the Discworld books. I was a huge fan of Pratchett!

I can't believe i said that to her when we were arguing. It really did stop us dead and laugh. Life is too short for work woes!!!

!WINE

My friend was so glad when she could go back to work because she said her family thinks if she work from home she does nothing - so they always want her to do something or go somewhere. So you guys are still on lockdown? Us also but a lot of people are back at work. Wonder when this will all stop - we are getting so use to this new (ab)normal.

One of my bosses thinks that we are all on a sort of extended holiday and drops comments like that all the time. Even when I tell him I have worked 8 hours extra his week it goes in one ear and out the other!

We are just coming out of lockdown. Hairdressers opened up yesterday I think it was, by the end of the month a lot more will be open. The numbers are quite small now, hopefully they stay small!

!WINE

Bosses suck - no matter if it is lock down or not hahaha

It's so true. I demand never to have a boss, surely it is my right! :OD


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My wife has been a rock throughout this whole Covid thing. But there are going to be two moments that make her cry.

  • The first has already occurred. When she got her hair done at a hairdressers. (A week ago). At least one tear was shed.

  • When she gets the vaccine needle stuck in her arm.

I think the wives and the circumstances that make them cry are very similar. Mine shed a tear when I took a photo and showed her herself. She has been desperate made for a hairdo!

It will be the same with the vaccine. the relief

Once they've had their shots, we can sit back and have a nice glass of. !WINE. .

I dont think the !WINE bot is working! Oh noes!!

I do agree though. That is the plan :OD


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Quite well played Boom. After all, arent we men the actual main beneficiary of the better looking hair ;)

Indeed indeed, I have found myself quite relieved that I no longer appear to be living with a scarecrow!! :0)

Oh yes, after this pandemic it is very dangerous to stay between a woman and her salon lol. Crazy. But after so many months... Who wouldn't be? I hope she gets her hair done and feel fabulous, we women need our hair to look pretty lol. Sounds so Barbie, but it is true. Be happy you came out alive and laughing lol. 😂

She doesnt normally fuss about these things as she is quite a natural person si it was hilarious to see how much the idea of not getting it affected her.

All done and she feels magic, so good show!

Wonderful, she deserves it. 1 year is way too much to stay out of the beauty salon hihi

It totally is! Let's hope that life is getting kick-started again!!

I loved the story!
Made me follow you and put you in my Fanbase :)

It'll be great for my partner because I am bald and keep it like this for a while...

@meesterboom
don't mind if I'll come by from time to time.

xoxo!

Lol, I am glad you enjoyed the read! :OD

A year.... yeah you weren't winning that one. I've just done mine, took 10 mins and is a total balls up!

I make a balls of mine 50% of the time I do it! At least we don't have to wait long before it grows back :OD

She was desperate man, a whole year. She looked a bit like a scarecrow. Now she is back to being a blondie, phew!

I don't suppose a CM or so overnight is possible?

Good to hear though, she'll be in a great mood then and you might bet a treat for dinner today :D

Everything is still quite locked down. Our kids are nuts too. Iam hoping when it all opens again her brother and his wife can come and watch the kids so I can get my gnarled nadger out and chase her round the garden with it.

She is in a great mood though. Great things may await! :OD

:D nadgers out!

The next few months will be much improved I hope, you might even get a holiday :O

Ive got one booked!!! Just up north but still, its not at work and its in June, It might even hit 17 degrees!

Good man! It might be 7 too :O

17! I hope it's a cracking summer, BBQ's and tadger chasing for all!

Gotta be careful with the tadgers when there are lit barbies about! :OD

I am hoping for a top notch summer. Gimme twenty seven! Its possible in SCotland!

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Should I quit at 60,000? :OD

Noooo, never quit! KEEP going, we need you @meesterboom 😉😊👍
Btw, we wish you a Happy weekend!!!

Aw, thank you! Same to you , have a great one! :O)

I can handle a bit of domestic disturbance. That's no problem. These things happen. Those damn demonic plastic bags though. Fuck those things!

Next time I see one, I am gonna STOMP it!

I thought they were to be burned in order to release the spirit? Did that Facebook post mislead me?

I thought we were all in one and it was expanding? Was that facebook?

Are you talking about the flat bag theory?

No. Everyone knows that bags are round!

That's bullshit! Nobody has ever observed a round bag!

Are you trying to say that all the photos of round bags have been doctored!? By who, NASA!?

I always know where to come for a good laugh. Hope you have been to drop the kids of at the pool haha before you become constipated. .

I had to watch the little buggers and be on calls in work. It was a nightmare. But you know, she got her hair done so all was well! :OD

!WINE

You are the only person I know who was willing to sacrifice his nuts for work lol.

It was a momentary aberration! :OD

!BEER


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Thanks for continuing to make Hive awesome.

Never stand in the way of a woman and her hairdresser! After a year? You are a brave man for toying with her emotions.

Bet she looks ravishing. :)

She really does and she feels so much happier. Her face was such a picture when I said she might have to reschedule. I am lucky I made it out alive!