Sort:  

As long as you use your hands, I expect that to be received very well.

as the gym bunnies run in terror at the grunting clapper thing in their midst...

Lol, I had no idea this song existed!

Sometimes they kick me out, but I can still see them.

Disclaimer for one who needs it: These are jokes.

I bet they often wonder what you are doing in their garden...

Disclaimer for the hard of humour: yes, still joking

Planting turnips and pulling petunias.

Filthy beggar

In my day we did that behind closed doors

I have an Open Door Policy unless I have to take a shit.

That is when I have an open door policy. The family loves it

Disclaimers are for sissies!

I know. There's one on the loose. Hence the disclaimer.