Whoa, steady there Mister!
I looked around as I grunted with the Flying Bird machine in the gym. I had put it up a weight and as a result, my forehead was bulging with veins like Arnold Schwarzenegger's forearm when he was whisking the eggs.
Uh?
I grunted as I let the weights collapse with a gentle clink back to the resting position.
A middle-aged man who looked as if he had covered himself in glue and rolled through Primark's Reduced to Clear aisle approached me with an upraised hand.
Just worried for a moment, that was a lot of weight you were pushing!
He stopped in front of me and stood with his hands on his hips a bright beaming smile on his face.
I grabbed my water and examined him with a caustic eye whilst taking a swig.
I had not been pushing a lot of weight, I was only on baby weights because of Covid and lockdowns and getting old 'n shit.
Nah, It wasn't really. Still getting back into it after all the lockdowns you know?
I let him have a smile. Just a small one, to show that I wasn't some mad loner prick that doesn't like being spoken to by strangers at the gym when I was working out.
Even though, I am indeed a mad loner prick who doesn't like being spoken to by strangers at the gym.
I was going to hop onto that machine myself...
He looked at me expectantly, like a hamster spying some M&Ms in my hand.
I raised an eyebrow in the hope of coaxing more words out of him.
So can I chum you on it?
He hopped from foot to foot like a demented weasel listening to Miley Cyrus.
What? He wanted to Chum Me? What the fuck was that? Wasn't Chum some kind of dog food in jelly? Did he want to cover me in dog food and lick it off? Holy shit, I only came to the gym to work out not to get some manner of beefy wank?!
So, can I hop on then?
Dog-Food waved a hand holding a towel at the machine as if to indicate he wanted a go.
I cocked an ear for some fairground music but could hear none.
He was still standing there. His grin now predatory, no doubt imaging slurping up all that beefy jelly.
Somewhat hesitantly, I stood and moved to the side, still clutching my water bottle.
I will put the weight down a few notches, eh? Don't worry. I will put it back up for you when it is your turn!
He sat on the magical flying Bird machine and started flapping the arms of it with great huffs and grunts.
Oh wait a minute, I knew what was going on now. He wanted to chum me on the machine. Were we to be friends now? Would I have to introduce him to the Good Lady as my new bro? Would we meet up on the local beach and kick sand in the faces of the non-gym bunnies? Would we go vest-shopping and visit the spray-on tan place together? In my mind's eye, my life was careening away from me to places I was not entirely sure I wanted to go. Your turn! Dog-Food had a hand stretched out toward the Flying Bird machine like a Gameshow hostess from the eighties pointing at a box of cabbages. Was this it? I looked down at my ring finger, surely I would never be able to fit another one on there? I twitched a little at the thought of other rings. Um, I am actually done. Cheers though. I backed away nervously. Yup, I am exactly that mad loner prick who doesn't like being spoken to by strangers at the gym when I am working out.
not like that you filthy-minded mares
I hadn't heard any mention of that covid thing since last time I was in the UK, is it still doing nothing? =}
Old. Man.. I remember back when sometimes I'd wake up like 'ouch, my back' cuz I slept wrong or who knows what but it'd gone by shower time and nowadays I have to proceed with extreme caution just laying or I'll throw my back out!
There is talk of a new wave but apart from some talk that's it. Everyone is just getting on with their lives. Which is good.
I am the same, it seems that every day I really up with a new ache or pain. Bastard living! :0D
I wish what I'm about to say is a lie but I only lie to people I love and, as much as I'd like to get to Glasgow and chizz in person, we're just not there yet. =}
So we just got back from 3 weeks in EU, right.. Prague, Budapest, Barabás. Dude I threw my back out the day before we left carrying an EMPTY F'ing suitcase downstairs!! But wait, it gets worse! About half way through Budapest right around the time my back was feeling better, I tore my knee up!! It's a bad knee already but I couldn't put weight on the damn thing and still barely can.
Yeah dude.. Pura took off in Budapest while I stayed back with my leg elevated on ice, by herself for like 3 hours, translating Hungarian on her phone at several pharmacies and medical supply stores and finally found one:
Stop laughing!!!
I'm sensitive dammit and, no, I haven't been able to walk without it yet! "Old."
Wassup Boom? Good morning.
HAhaha!! I am laughing but not perhaps in the way that you think!!
I have a stick like that because I threw my knee out two years ago and seeing that sbvought back all those 'happy' memories.
That is shoot luck man, I feel for you. I am due to go on holiday next week around Scotland and twisted my foot yesterday. Its a bastard. If it swells up any further I will be getting the stick out so I can go away!
Haha!! Yes! I feel your pain.
We were just shopping plane/train rides to Glasgow this morning cuz neither of us have been to Scotland yet; Northern Lights, yata yata. Got dang! Scotland's right up the street yet we can fly to about 3 European countries and back for the price of 1 Glasgow ticket.
What's that about? About £300 for both of us to go there and back.
Fump knows, it costs a fortune on the Train the plane and now with petrol, the automobile!
Glasgow is way cool though, you can get to loads of other parts really easily from here or if you don't travel far can see some really cool parts!
Wracking my brain, but I also can't figure out what he meant by that 😆 Chum has two definitions I'm aware of, friend and ground up flesh for sharks 🤣
Go you at the gym though, lately I've been on the low impact pilates train!
I am hoping it was friend and he didn't want to chop me up and throw me in some briny water.
I haven't seen him since, so I am happy.
I have been going quite regularly now. I feel rather good for it but fuck me, I was and still am quite out of shape! Get in there lady with them pilates. You will be saying Arr jim lad and poking people with a big curvy sword in no time!
Haha! At the very least I will regain the flexibility of my youth!!
I'm the grunter at the gym.
Don't really lift or anything. But when other people do, I grunt for them. Sometimes from all the way on the other side of the building.
As long as you stay on two feet and don't drop onto all fours I think everyone can forgive a little grunting. Even if it is for them!
I clap when they're done a set as well.
As long as you use your hands, I expect that to be received very well.
as the gym bunnies run in terror at the grunting clapper thing in their midst...
Lol, I had no idea this song existed!
Sometimes they kick me out, but I can still see them.
Disclaimer for one who needs it: These are jokes.
I bet they often wonder what you are doing in their garden...
Disclaimer for the hard of humour: yes, still joking
Planting turnips and pulling petunias.
😂
Disclaimers are for sissies!
I know. There's one on the loose. Hence the disclaimer.
Lmao 🤣
I was always warned not to talk to people on long flights as you will be stuck with them for hours. At least in gym you are not there too long, but then your 'chum' may figure out when you are there. I've never heard that expression either.
I dont think I have ever seen the word chum used outside an Enid Blyton novel or a dog food advert. It was odd hearing it in the flesh.
I have actually spoken to an old lady once on a flight and she didn't stop talking for the next three hours. Gaarr!
Not just the gym, I'd say pretty much anywhere.
Puts hand up in halting position as someone begins to open their mouth: "Nope. No thank you."
The gym probably is the worst though. Heart racing and all out of breath. Not a great state for a conversation.
I know, sweaty bits of flesh hanging out. Its not the most chatty of environments.
I think I might be the same for just about everywhere. After a pleasantry I am like, right, beat it! :OD
Thats how I will do it in future but with a modicum less panache! :OD
I like the idea of saying "shoo" to someone. Like they are a knat buzzing around that you can't even be bothered to kill.
Could you imagine somebody saying "shoo" to you as an adult? How insulting that would be? It would take a person aback for a few seconds for sure.
"Did he just "shoo" me?... How should I even respond to that? I know, I'll just leave without saying anything. That will show him."
Heh heh, indeed!
It would be hilarious to see, not so hilarious to be on the other end of! I might try it in work :OD
Nice! Let us know how it goes. 😁
He sounds like a daisy alright. Here a manly man knows "chum" is a bunch of fish cut up to be dumped over the boat to get the fish biting. Of course the last thing a manly man needs is some "hanger on" dude wanting to be besties lol.
See, I didnt know that was what chum was as well as the dog food!
You live and learn and hopefully the dude has learned that I ain't chummin!
There is nothing in the world that makes me what to murder someone than a gym wanker wanting to use your machine when there are 80 other weight machines free in the GYM. The blood does be boiling. "Do you have long left on that mate? "None of your business YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD. ARRRRGRHHHHHHHH. THE MACHINE WAS FREE FOR AN HOUR AND YOU DIDN'T WANT IT YOU BOLLOX AND NOW THAT I JUMP ON AND NOW YOU WANT ME OFF IT. WELL FUCKING HAVE IT , YOU C.... There's a special place in hell reserved for these lads.
Hahahaha!!
Aye, that is pretty much how it goes. The gym can be deserted, no one around for miles and you start on your first set. Boom, some dick appears from nowhere You finished up there? lol. Fuckers!!
Dude, I am exactly that mad loner prick who doesn't like being spoken to by strangers at all. Hell, I'd like my friends to schedule an appointment before talking to me. Make a phone call and I hate your very soul.
Hahaha, that is me!! When someone phones me I am like What the fuclk, Iknow we are friends but this is not on!
So what did I do? I got a job as a librarian where I talk to people face-to-face who I don't want to talk to, and answer the phone and talk to people who I don't want to talk to.
Now that is truly bearding the lion in its den! :OD
Lol you turned down a gym bromance?! C'mon man! He was just trying to snuggle up on ya, maybe weasel your weasel out of the shorts once or twice.. Nothing too crazy!
I've not had the gym bromance experience yet but I used to go there with friends which was a nice change of pace if you can get someone that's got a decent exercise ethic!
Hive.blog?! Heathen! :D cool how ecency lets us creep a little bit hehe.
I love going with a couple of my mates as we really get a good workout going but the singular bromance, yeek no!!
Hive.blog, I know. I do all my stuff through it. It's clean and simple!
Do people really ask others to stop using a machine so they can use it themselves, like they are too impatient to wait their turn? Sounds a bit rude, calling it chummy or not.
I wouldn't know anything about gym etiquette though, if there is any.
A chum would be a friend here I think, but it's kind of an old word for it.
They never do, or at least never in my experience. I have had people asking if they can work in with me before though which pretty much means sharing because they cant be bothered waiting. Its horrible. I don't go to socialise and I certainly don't go to chum folk!
It is quite old fashioned isn't it!
Do get lost while reading, anyway it's been long I came out of the bubble.
I've been locked within leofinance community and have been held captive by myself. Didn't exactly know how it feels outside,damn the windows are stuck but had to break it let fees air come in.
Let the air in!! There is more than cryptotalk!
It is easy to get caught up in something though isn't it!
Damn, it really is easy to get caught up.
IT sure is! Thats crypto! Rabbitholes galore!
Hi @meesterboom ,in the gym it is quite difficult to avoid onlookers, those who want to compete with you, those who think they are very strong etc, it is something that we live with whether we like it or not, there it is very difficult to avoid them, what I do is say yes to everything, but I do what I want, I don't know if they look, I ignore them.
Look at this hahaha
https://hive.blog/hive-146620/@lupega/sonrie-la-vida-es-complicada-smile-life-is-complicated
Haha, they is very good!!
And you are right, it is very difficult to avoid these punks!
Being unfamiliar with Primark, I had to get the visualization more accurate. I found this. All one needs do is hit the home page, the rest is self-explanatory. Visualization complete, LOL
If you paint the picture…well, ‘nough said, eh.
The “other rings”…make me think of many other things of an even steelier nature, not that I’ve seen them in action, just in the display cases (shudders).
Maybe take a bullfrog with you next time?
Hilarious, thanks for the laughs. Love the hot pink and your facial expression in your cover image art.
Hot pink for a nice change! lol.
The other rings. Well, I had to take out a whole section in which I went into too much detail over the horror I once saw in my friends bathroom. We still laugh about it.
Essentially, we were having some beers and I went into his bathroom for a whazz as it were and whilst peeing I noticed two steel rings hanging from a little ribbon on the wall. One was bigger than the other like some kind of weird japanese puzzle.
I came out and utterly nievely asked what they were and my mate pissed himself and said it was him and his partners cock rings.
I am quite a worldly chap biut I still blushed a bit!
It's pretty cool. Even better, it's in season this month ;).
😂😂😂 Thanks for sharing, I had to know so I could laugh. One of the things I met in a friend's bathroom on the floor (wasn't sure what the heck it was), was an "extender" of the most unusual design, so much so I couldn't identify what it was. Sure yeah, just leave it lying around in the bathroom.
Holy kakamole! What is an extender! My mind is racing to come up with various extend things. But male... female. The mind is boggling. I take it back, I am obviously not world in the least! lol
LOLOLOL! Here's an image of one. Now the one I saw was, um, more yellowish, not naturally so, and it had some other part in the design. I did not want to look close, never mind touch, just do my business and get out of the bathroom. He did have to ask me after if I saw it, like he was proud of it or something, or proud of leaving it discarded on the bathroom floor.
Aw man, the image didnt work! I presume as I am not using Brave. Now my imagination is going mad. Its like a penis thing perhaps? The only thing to be proud of with penising is puppeting! :OD
Oh crapulence! Yeah, that's Brave browser link. I dare not post the image because I have no idea how to make an NSFW comment, lololol. I pulled up this link in another browser, so this one should work.
Yes, yes it is. I think I'm dying reading that last sentence, LOL, and I just reincarnated again, durn it! 😂
And I thought Primark was universal, silly me! I had originally said rolled through a Jumble sale but worried the meaning might not be clear! hjaha
I don't know why they don't have Primark here. It'd fit in so well. I like "Jumble sale", sounds like a jungle of fun jumbling about.
I kind of liked "Chum", made me think of fish immediately. 🤪😂
Jumble sales are kinda fun. They were from the days before there was a desperation about due to the cost of living and successive governments humping us all up the arse.
At least in my memory. Perhaps I am just a psycho that doesn't see suffering :OD
LOL! They sound fun.
You'll have to up your game to meet that mark 😀
Yas indeed. But you have to have goals! :OD
Always inspire to be more, keep reaching, if you miss, you just try again, lol. I'm attempting to encourage that, fan the flames, feed the fire. 😁
I still haven't managed to figure out what chumming is despite context x_x
I know "chum" is a synonym for friend and also a brand of dog food and I feel like it's what bait or fish guts is called when you throw it into the water to use as bait but I could be wrong there XD
LoL you got seriously carried away just from someone asking if they could have a turn on the whatever it is you were on XD
Hehe, you should know me by now. I am the master of extrapolating out into fanciful futures. Or something!
I didn't know that bit about the fish bait. Iwill have to google that!
I'm that prick who thinks gym? What's that.. sounds like some guy who's parents couldn't spell Jim.
Hahah! I thought that myself before I started getting on the wrong side of forty!
I'm on the wrong side of 50..
No ways man, for real? I thought you were a young (younger than me) pup!
All the weed is keeping you young! :OD
!BEER
I'll be 52 next month..
You win, you are a tiny bit ahead of me!
#winning
Sorry, out of BEER, please retry later...
Ahhhh thanks for the reminder that gyms are even worse than bars and stripclubs (even if you have a sausage yourself)
Gym etiquette needs to be taught in primary school asap! Chummm
It is quite unbelievable but they really are! They should have massive signs for them telling everyone to behave! :OD
I think he was bored and tried to find someone to talk. I would not want to be bothered by anyone somewhere like GYM :)
They should have big signs. NO TALKING that would work :OD
I'm in the same boat. If I'm at the gym, I'm there to work out. Feel free to buy me a drink at the pub, but until then, treat the gym as if it's a sanctuary.
Exactly man. Random strangers in pubs are fine, buying the settings even more so. In the gym it should be headphones on and getting on with it. Mine is like a social club with all the dudes Hyatt standing chatting!!
how are you dear friend @meesterboom good morning
There are always those talkers in the gym, I'm also one of those who don't like being talked to in the gym
Have a beautiful day
Good morning Mr J! I see them about chatting away and leaning on machines and I am always thinking, Just work out and be gone!
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