Guilt plagues us. And it's most often not guilt for doing something horribly wrong, but more of a sense of guilt for merely being. It's an aching, nagging feeling that you're just not enough. You didn't love someone enough, you didn't take good enough care of them. You're just not enough. You can't be enough for all the people and all the things around you.
And it's no wonder. Guilt drains. It's like a demon inside of you that saps your energy. So not only are you not able to take care of what's going on around you, you can't take care of yourself. Your energy is totally drained, and you don't even have enough energy to live at a healthy baseline, much less extraordinary.
I've seen people who have had loved ones die, and the aching and sadness that they feel is not even so much at missing that person, but at their own inadequacy for that person. They could never love them enough or call them enough or give them enough.
This is known to be a very Catholic thing. Catholic guilt. You can never love your mother enough, you just are never enough. You must be a constant giving machine - there for whatever people need from you. This is rampant among women.
This way of being is very close to me, and I must say that I traveled down this road as well. This is pervasive in the women of my family.
What you get is a circular energy drain that's run by guilt. This one doesn't feel like enough and needs more, and through guilt drains this one. And because this one doesn't have enough, she does it to that one. I used to be that one, and I broke the circle.
When I was a never-ending giving machine for all the energy and love that my loved ones wanted, I became very sick. And I had no choice but to give it all up completely. My body and my inner being demanded it.
There's nothing inappropriate about you. You are so appropriate and right. Please take the utmost care of yourself first, and then give from a place that there is so much love bursting forth in you that it shines outward. It is never a giving from a finite resource. Please don't ever give from this place.
Please know that others are responsible for themselves, no matter how much you love them and you want them to be full. It's time to take away the nipple and let them start feeding themselves. They don't know how to, but if a child is always carried and is never put on the floor, they will never try to walk. You don't do a two-year-old child any favors by carrying it everywhere you go. In fact, it's negligent and abusive.
There are many out there who themselves don't feel like enough, and they seek from others. If you're being drained by people, chances are, you're also draining others whether you know it or not. You have to get it somehow, and there's a very good chance you never learned how to get it yourself. Go to the source. Start a morning practice to take care of yourself. Start building up enough energy in yourself so that you can be calm and centered, and stop feeding that guilt monster.
You're not to blame for anyone's place in life. If you have harmed someone in the past, please forgive yourself. The past is dead. After seven years all the cells of your body are brand new. You are literally not the same person you once were. You're only what you choose to continue and bring into your present. Now is fresh. You can do whatever you like with it.
Guilt is a life force drainer. It's a tool of needy and clingy energy vampires. Stop buying into this story. Be the teller of your own story. Claim yourself and your story and be strong and firm in it, and know that you're enough. Begin your morning practice so that you can be enough for yourself and get at least to baseline survival energy again. If you've lived like this, you need some selfish healing time.
You have to be enough for yourself first. Better yet, you need to overflow with yourself.
Here's a simple and quick daily exercise to help you rebuild your own energy center and stay strong in yourself:
deck.
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Wonderful! Thank you!
For me as an Empath, guilt came often in its disguise of "responsibility".
I love to be responsible and adore people who also act this way. It is one of my prime values. The downside to this is, that responsibility quickly becomes guilt. The borders are fluid. I often need to go to the place of "I don't know hot to ____. Please universe do it through me." It feels like surrender and what is really surrendered here, is the false believe in being responsible for everything including the feelings and states other people are in. So good to connect with you! Much Love! ❤️
Love it.
Have you read No Boundary by Ken Wilber?
Don't let the simplicity and blahzay cover fool you. I'm pouring over it now.
No, actually Ken Wilber was always to mental for me to read. Last year I connected with a Zen master, who is a friend of Ken Wilber - Doshin Roshi - after I saw him in a video documentation about Andrew Cohen. Just watching him in the video, I felt a deep connection and we had some lengthy video calls afterwards. We were in resonance immediately and even talked about me working for him, but when he demanded, that this also means, that I would have to be familiar with the works of Ken Wilber, the connection had as quickly fulfilled it's purpose as it came. Doshin even bought me a book by Ken Wilber, that I couldn't read, because it was all "mindfuck" in my world. I have to say though, that I have difficulties to read anything after Matt. I really read a lot over the past 25 years in spirituality - sometimes 3-4 books per week and this all stopped with Matt - I blame him for that 😂It's difficult to find a vibrational match at the moment... Spiritual 1st world problems 😂
I so get this! There is definitely an intellectual spiritualism that I can't get into. I'm much more right brained than that. This book of his, I must say is so extremely well explained. It's just..... perfect. That's all I can say.
Thanks for pointing out what's wrong with me. The concept of 'you cannot please everyone' is new to me. In fact i learned it on one post in steemit. And maybe that's why I fail to focus on the task at hand as i am constantly plagued by the ghosts from my past. To be honest I still don't know how to deal with them but atleast i know who/what is building all of this negative energy inside me. I am yet to learn to forgive myself and have to ask may for forgiveness.
Thank you, @brightstar.
Even typing your name brings a positive vibe. :-)
I recommend trying the exercise in the post. Glad to have you here, and see you around! Happy healing.
Nice inclusion of the Osho Zen Tarot card
I read from it often here! Thanks for comin' by. ❤️
Hi bright star! Lovely to read your post, alot of people need to read it :)
Looking forward to your future posts and now following!
They sure do! It's rampant in our culture.
Lovely to have you here, and looking forward to getting to know you. Welcome to the tribe. :)
Thankyou!
@brightstar Psychic vampires are everywhere! Insight on this topic is pivotal for all people.
It seems as if you have written this post just for me! I have not been on Steemit for nearly a year and the first post I saw after I made the decision to come back and give it another try, was yours. Your words went directly to my heart and my thoughts because I am one of those that suffer constantly from these feelings of guilt... guilt because I did not do enough for my father in his last days in hospital before he died, guilt because I was not there for my mother in her last days in hospital... guilt because maybe if I made other decisions, they would not have had to suffer in their final days... guilt because I could have handled my marriage differently... guilt, guilt, guilt... and like you mentioned in your post... the guilt has led me to where I am today... not really able to go on with my life and not really in good health anymore. Thank you for sharing this very insightful post.
Yes! I love to hear this!
That sounds like some debilitating guilt. I recommend going alllllll the way into it and finding where it is in your body and then asking it what it needs from you.❤️
I am so trying my best... thank you for further advice.
nothing kills your spirit more than the notion that you aren't just enough for someone or something..nice post
Thanks! Glad you came by and commented.
i had to..the post is insightful
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Hellllll yeah! I'm going to start using that tag. I also looked at your account and followed you and upvoted. Who doesn't fucking love Guy Fawkes?
Haha, I love your enthusiasm, I like edgy people. :)))
Meeee too :)