The title of this post is so very true and is something I like to think of anytime I get frustrated with the results of something or feel I’m not being given fair value.
I'm sure many of you who have these moments when it comes to steemit.
Are we Really Owed Anything?
In the end, no one really owes us anything. We choice to help people or we don’t. We choose to share valuable knowledge with people or we don’t.
If someone asks you for something, the onus is on you whether you will help them or charge a fee. To have an “unspoken expectation” of something in return is on you, not them.
Yes, there is common decency. Yes, I feel if I provide value to someone continuously they should show their appreciation for it.
I certainly do so when the roles are reversed, but that is my decision.
They are not obligated to think that way (though I wish they were).
I Deserve Better
If you ever hear yourself uttering those words than know this;
- You are the only one that can impact that!
How Do We Get What We Deserve?
By learning how to find win-win scenarios instead of being the one getting the raw side of a interaction, transaction or what have you.
Simplest way to do that is acquire some knowledge so you have the confidence to ask for what you believe you are worth.
My recommendations is the following book:
- Never Split the Difference – by Chris Voss
He discusses how splitting the difference usually leaves both parties unsatisfied and teaches techniques to find the "happy place" if you will. The spot where you feel valued and they feel like they are getting a good deal.
Okay Okay, but how does any of this relate to Steemit?
That is a good question, we cannot exactly negotiate on steemit – or can we?
Interaction on steemit is key - however let me first discuss what that does not mean:
Commenting on people's post with "Good Job, following you now follow me!"
- Uhm, yeah...no. That is not genuine and you probably copy pasted that into 100 posts
That example is the antithesis of quality genuine interaction.
Interaction = Friendship and Friendship = Interaction
In many cultures, and much more so in Asian than in American cultures, friendship is a win-win scenario.
When you are friends with someone you look to grow and uplift one another, which in the long run is a better end result for both parties than when one person takes advantage or leverages another.
Embracing the Steemit Community
By embracing the steemit community and truly opening yourself up to meet and get to know new friends you will eventually find those that look to uplift you just as you uplift them.
It won't happen overnight, but what good things ever do?
Plus, you will run into some people that are selfish and don't give a damn about others. It is what it is, those people will either not be on steemit for long once they have exhausted their money grab or you can simply end your interaction with them once you realize they are only out for themselves.
Remember, we are a product of those we associate with, so.....
Find and Keep Good Company!
Post Images from: Pixabay
Love the title. A very true statement.
My Australian friend who has been living and investing in the US for the last year has been very disappointed with that aspect of American culture. In Australia, true relationship and loyalty in business is most important. In the US, he's found that people just take what they can get from the relationship, then move on.
Hey, you should write your own book some day :)
Funny you mentioned that - I have a book on real estate investing that can be found at ScaredycatGuide BookStore or on Amazon Kindle: Investing in Rental Properties
And yeah your friends sentiment is why I love Australia and was so close to staying there for good instead of coming back to the States back when I visited for a couple months.
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One of my favorite Stones songs! Nice! How could I not upvote this :-)
I figured it fit the theme of your post! 😉
Well said my friend. Thanks for the book share. I truly believe that if you build solid friendships here on steemit then you stand a better chance at being successful. But you are right there are people in this world that will only take care of themselves. Thanks for the share. Resteemed.
Exactly, much appreciated my friend. :-)
In my opinion many people do take care of other people too much.
Sometimes I wish they would focus on theirselves.
But theres the next problem: Everyone presumes that focusing on himself means ignoring other peoples opinion, freedom, feelings or whatever in order to get himself forward.
Author is definitely followed, you're spreading some wisdom people need to know! Unfortunately they need to.
Running circles again. Greetings from Germany!
Good read! What you said here is true, especially the part where you comment and ask people to follow you, that's not how you game here.
I went to a great seminar a few years ago, it was about people being givers and receivers; most people will give in expectation of receiving. Just as important, most people who receive understand that they should reciprocate in some way.
This works perfectly, until that 'taker' arrives on the scene, you know that person at your work, who is happy to let everyone get them coffee all day, is happy to let everyone else do the grunt work, while they do the high profile stuff.
This isnt imagination, those people really exist, and their typical effect on the give/receive dynamic in a social group; catastrophic.
People start not wanting to risk doing nice things for one another, because now they got the reality thrust in their face, that there may be no return.
The statistics we saw showed that the selfish 'taker' people, transition through social groups quickly, and while they may have some short lived success in the form of promotions at work or becoming a leader in a social group, their inability to be un-selfish ultimately leaves them isolated, and they need to move on.
The seminar had actual statistics that the best way to deal with the 'takers', is to be a chump and keep giving to them, they ultimately undo themselves anyway, and when they have to excuse themselves, you still have the social standing of being a good citizen in the group.
Enjoyed your post, upvoted, resteemed and followed you.
I wonder if it was a taker speaking at the seminar...hahaha. Kidding aside though, yes that essential is what happens and I feel like those people will come and go in steemit, but once their money grab runs out of momentum off to the next thing! So yeah, be nice...if they get a couple bucks from my votes before they are gone, then I got off cheap.
Yeah that thought about the speaker being a taker did cross my mind ;) Id forgotten that the the other important part of dealing with the taker dynaminc is to only give what you are good at, what the group finds you are truly expert at. So yeah, running and getting coffee when no-one gets you one back, is nice but in a work scenario is wasting your time, but freely giving those unique things that you are better at than enyone else, is the best strategy.
Not sure if that part really translates to steem.
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Great words,
Love, DoWithLove
That's a good read. Thanks!
Thats pretty interesting indeed.
What you deserve in Life is a work smarter not harder, you get out what you put in. If you give the really good quality content you get votes etc. Thanks
Yes, even though sometimes in the everyday grind it does not feel like we are being valued. Wanted to remind myself and others.
Excellent advice, and quite true. Does this work in marriage, too? Lol! That's where I feel like I get the rawest deal of all. ;)
Haha....your are asking the wrong guy. I always seem to give more to my relationships than I get in return. I don't mind being single sometimes...lol
Haha! Oh, I envy single people. You're quite lucky. :)
It has it's up and downs...I''m going out on a date in about 45 minutes, dating in South Florida is like a circus.
Good luck. I did all my dating in Central Florida, which wasn't so bad. But, I mostly limited my dating pool to artists....actors, musicians, writers, sculptors, painters, photographers, etc. The artistic community all kind of knew each other, so I didn't step out of that comfort zone too much. When I did, I was inevitably bored, like the few times I tried dating lawyers. Boring! But, I married a musician, and that's a special kind of crazy. I think being single really is the best thing. :)
Great post!Thanks for sharing,followed,up voted and resteemed.
Appreciate it man!
Splitting the difference. I like that. I'm from Europe living in the US, and have a bit of a difficult time understanding how there is so much "entitlement" in the society.
I've always lived by a "treat you how I'd want to be treated" attitude. More should, the world would run more smoothly ;)
What's up Arbitrary Kitten? Hope you are having a great day?
Hey! Just getting to know my steemit neighborhood ;)
me too! haha. Congrats on hitting 50 ranking. Nice work.
Thanks!
Agreed today tomorrow and twice on Sunday with that comment. Much entitlement in these parts. Do unto others.....exactly.
This is not copy paste... I really liked the content.
Hahaha...I saw what you did there :-) Thanks!
😃
I just had this discussion with my 15 yr old today! She is a giver, and some people take advantage of that. She ended up feeling used so I helped her to realize that its ok to say no or to negotiate a deal with people so they appreciate her hard work. Up'd and resteemed
That is awesome, I wish someone would have done that for me when I was 15. It took me till my thirties to figure it out myself and I still need to do better. Kudos for the good parenting job!
Thanks! My dad was a salesperson/business owner so I learned early Lol.. Great post!
This is awesome! Thank you for posting. I agree 100% on the friendship side being a win win. Great blog. Thank you for posting. You picked up a new follower and resteemed for you. Keep good company, right!
My pleasure, glad you enjoyed.
I teach my son never demand but instead of try to find a way which would satisfy both sides.
So always try to find win-win solution
Yes - wish it was easier to accomplish but we are emotional creatures, us humans.
and thanks God we are humans > that means we can learn it :)
You Couldnt be more Correct about quality interactions on steemit. Follow me I'll follow u isn't one of them. I did a couple blogs related to these topics:
If so inclined check them out and let me know what ya think. :)
Have a great day and full STEEM ahead!
Well said! Point #1 should be part of the Steemit welcome comment to new users now that we have started to go a little viral. Can't imagine what it will be like when steemit really takes off.
Ah. I almost forgot. I did one on what i call "tabloid steeming " of which you'd probably appreciate
Heres my tabloid steeming article for your viewing pleasure
https://steemit.com/blog/@chelsea88/the-sad-phenomena-of-tabloid-steeming
Unfortunately in today's world good friends ( i mean GOOD friends ) are hard to come by, as the rat race has created a society that struggles just to survive ... I must say though the majority of interactions I had with some fellow Steemians was very pleasant and lots of love and caring is shown in this community. I would have loved to meet you all ... Thank you for caring .
Yes, indeed sir! There is a hip-hop line that I quote regularly "I'd rather have 100,000 true heads beside me than 1 million of you fake people beside me"
Followed and upvoted. So well written. Very articulate. Nice! Thank you!
Thank you very much!
This made a lot of sense and i found a lot of relation to the logic. Great Work!
Glad it was of help. Thanks!
How will you differenciate between a selfish and an unselfish person? Many people posting really touching stories, what if they just post it because it fills up their wallet?
Oh goodness, don't even get my trust issues cynical self talking about that. I do my best to vett stuff out, but yeah I'm sure we have been hustled by a couple people. However, there has been more good than harm done by far in this community from what I see, just my gut feeling.
Haha^^ Yeah I think so too. Steemit encourages people to talk to each other. If people aren't real, others will notice :)
Awesome to hear your perspective! As corny as it sounds, you really do kind of have to fake it til you make it. I like to look in the mirror and say "I love you John" while looking into my eyes. It's one of the most powerful acts of self love I've ever known. Thank you for being an inspiration. Just followed ya!
Thanks man! My inspiration is writing out daily gratitudes. It makes me realize how much I have accomplished and forces me to give myself credit along with appreciating the little things in life as well.
Love that. Gratitude definitely sets us up for an amazing attitude and being open to possibility. Cheers!
I couldn't agree better. I mean, couple of days ago I was thinking maybe my followers were dormant or something....no views on my post and ish. So I decided to go back to interacting with my followers and other steemians and engage more in contests in the community.
That the right move. And even then if some of them aren't responsive can't let it get you down, just keep interacting with those that do.
Youre very right sire
Great article! I feel strongly about this as well..you get back what you put in to things relationships and effort go a long way and I think that a lot of people take it for granted and think they are just "owed" everything automatically. Heres to making steem a successful Community!
Yes, that sums it up. Thanks!
truth. restemeed
Thanks bro!
when truth be spoken :)
Drops the mic... :-)
Well said, many have been posting on similar topics. I like your approach to the topic, keep writing!!
Yes Ma'am! Glad you liked. :-)
Best lesson my Dad every taught me was that I wasn't owed anything in life, and if I depend on hopes and wishes that's all they will remain. Need to work for what you want...and you're completely right, here on steemit that means engaging with the community and making friends, I know I have already made a few ;)
Hell yeah!
How very true. Friendship should reward friendship with interactions.
Cheers!
Yes indeed!
Saw your link in peer review, came here. Loved it. We all need a dose of hope at times.
True that!
I never know exactly what I deserve any more...
@pocketechange
Well, your name is pocketechange so........ ;-)
lol... That was a good one...
But wait till you see the increased
buying power of common pocket change...
@pocketechange
I like the sounds of that........POWER UP!
I posted my opinion on Pocket Change
about a week ago... Take a peek... It's
too late to upvote it...
@pocketechange
Hell yes. This.
We're owed absolutely nothing by the platform. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube, etc. literally doesn't give a single cent directly through the platform.
Our content will only be valued if it is valuable to the community.
Wonderful post.
Thank you. Still need to work for stuff in this life, sometimes we forget.
@scaredycatguide nice post look fw to seeing more have a great day
So very great and inspirational ... Thank you @scaredycatguide looking forward for more stuff
Plz follow back and upvote
upvote me pls
I'm not sure if this is a hilarious play on words or just an outright ignorance of everything I said. There was no lol, hahah or smiley to think it's the former.
This is a solid article I'm going to resteem this
didnot understand pls tell me eassily
Same thing i thought was just waiting for someone to comment! Lmfao
Merci pour ton post, il m'a beaucoup éclairé. Je pense que ça fait parti d'un fondement important de Steemit. C'est bien de le rappeler. Si je prends l'exemple de Facebook jamais dans la rue quelqu'un te demande "Salut tu veux être mon ami ?". Non ça doit se faire naturellement par des centres d'intérêts communs. Sur Steemit c'est pareil. Se demander un échange d'Upvote est à bannir 😈