Hello there! The name's John, pleased to meet you!
The man on my doorstep stuck out his free hand to shake mine which I did with a little reluctance due to the high number of Mormon drive-bys we have had lately.
Hello.
I used my cold unwelcome smile that I bestow upon all suspected Mormons. Not that I have anything against their faith, I just don't like the whispery arse-dust that comes out of their mouths and their pallid wet hands.
As if detecting my reluctance to engage with him, Johnny-Bag shook my hand vigorously as if it were a newly installed Hive water pump in Nigeria and he had had a few too many Thunder Dogs the night before.
Eventually, we stopped hand jiving and Johnny-Bag's face took on a sombre aspect.
I live two streets over. Number 48?
He tipped his head in the general direction of some houses nearby.
Ah... Number 48.
I nodded and narrowed my eyes as if I was nobody's fool.
Johnny-Bag faltered at this before visibly conjuring his cheery game-face back from the abyss where my get thee behind me Mormon demeanour had chased it.
We are gathering signatures for a petition. You must have seen the new 5G mast they have put up at the top of the hill?
It was then that I noticed he had a clipboard thick with gnarled paper and a pen hanging by a piece of string from it.
I tilted my body slightly sideways so as to provide a smaller profile to attack in case things started getting a little tasty.
After all, one should always be prepared.
I saw it, aye.
Grudgingly I used a comma in my reply.
It's a bloody eyesore, excuse my French. And that's not to mention the...
Johnny-Bag looked furtively around before taking a small step closer and speaking in a hushed tone as if the CIA were sweeping the area with listening drones.
...health impacts...
He pulled back and fixed me with what can only be described as the ice-cold eyes of the damned.
The health impacts?
I tilted my face slightly upward as if sensing the sweet health benefits tumbling down onto me like gentle rain.
You must have read about it? The effect it has on the immune system, there are lots of studies!
His voice rose into a high-pitched squeal and I imagined him naked, caked in mud and leaves in the nearby woodland chasing the local wildlife with his little todger.
Come to think of it I have been sleeping better lately. You reckon it's good then? Why the petition, to get another one?
I felt a glimmer of excitement build in me. The toilet, a notorious dead spot for WiFi in my house might soon be afire with the 5Gs! Good lord, does life get any better than this?
No more lonely boring shits. Yeehaw!
Noooo. It's not good for you... It's BAAAAAD for you. So so bad. It weakens your immune system and don't get me started on the ties to COVID?!
Johnny-Bag rifled in a bag slung around his shoulder.
Look, I have leaflets.
He held one out.
I examined it without taking it from him. It had a very inflamed and enlarged eye as the backdrop to a large 5G typed in what looked like blood.
Pinkeye?
I shooed his leaflety hand away as if it were one of those friendly dogs with the big heads and massive semi-solid slabbers hanging from its mouth that always tried to wipe their faces on your thigh.
No, not pinkeye?! Covid? And people getting sick with god knows what?
He looked at me in horgrust which is a natty word I made up to combine horror and disgust. The petition is to get it taken down. Johnny-Bag thrust his clipboard forward as if I would sign such fucking nonsense. No thank you. Now... Get off my stoop. I stepped back, closed the door and wondered to myself. What actually is a stoop?
I will probably submit it to Urban Dictionary as I did with the mighty blurthurt
Ha..., I had forgot all about Blurthurt, I need to go on there and check what WPS is up to.., probably shit all!
Lol, there is nothing going on there. Its just dead. Its so dead that it isn't even worth poking with a stick!
I have got my big order in for 2 satoshis though, I will profit out of their misery :OD
Little has changed, same people with the same crap.
https://blurt.blog/hive-196037/@sylcloutier/4deutfzqbfr#@sylcloutier/s2p937
My god man, if there is ever a post and thread that demonstrates Bliurthurt at its best :OD
Hahhaa.. omg, I had never heard this term
Hehe, it's official!
What IS it up to, save me the trip?
Not a lot, very dull over there.
A stoop is a small exterior space slightly larger than a step, but too small to be a porch. It's basically a flat bit outside a door before the stairs downward start, leaving just enough room to stand glowering at a petition-monger after swinging the door open.
Ha, thats exactly what my outside door bit is like! Hot damn, I am the proud owner of a stoop! That makes me ridiculously happy! :O)
🤓
hahahaha, that man must have walked away very quickly hahahaha
I think he did. His tail between his legs!
But but but - the covid... but what about the covid!?! The viruses ride on the 5g waves and penetrate through your skull into your brain. It's all very sciency and shit... didn't you know?
They do, they ride the waves like COVID mermaids straight into your head!!
The science is irrefutable!*
*not irrefutable 🤣
I'm picturing something like this...
Lolz, that's how it should be. That's all science right there!
LOL! If people are going to object to stuff on made-up grounds then they lose credibility. Where were they when cars were spewing out actual lead?!?
Was he wearing a tinfoil hat?
Blurthurt is an excellent word.
I love Blurthurt, came to me in a flash!
If he had stuck with the, its an eyesore bit I would have been on his side no doubt as it is an ugly big mofo and is weirdly pale grey but no, he had to get all consfearacy! :OD
I met someone recently who started talking about some of the woo-woo stuff and that just put me off them. I get that people want to believe there's more going on than we hear officially, but a lot of it is just bollox.
Yeah, I like a good conspiracy with some troubling sourced or cited or near as damn it factoids that mean there could be some element of truth in it but when I start hearing gibberish I instantly think the person is a buffoon.
How do you figure what’s made up and what’s not? By having concrete proofs that come from official sources? But the official sources are untruthful more often than not.
How can we tell? Trust comes from reputation.
How dare you not be afraid! Isn't it just good fun to take the opposite side when a whackjob comes at you with this or that. You make a great devil's advocate :D
Could have told him Don't go away blurthurt - just go away lol
Devils advocacy, I wonder if there is a job in that... Can I keep the Top Hat? :OD
I do love to take the opposing side. I think I am a trouble maker!
😜 You a trouble maker!? Hahaaa say it ain't so! Yep, you can keep the hat since it suits you so well lol
Just an eeny weensy teensy bit! :OD
lol just as I suspected
A man must be true to his path! ;O)
I am not saying the health issues thing is not true, I just don't believe in scientific studies anymore nor do I necessarily believe any kind of conspiracy ( whether it's a government run one or not ) and I really dislike petitions, demonstrations and all that stuff, as I lost faith in democracy a long time ago. I believe in the choices made by individuals.
To quote the 100 feet large robot that appeared out of an immense spaceship, that destroyed Harrods and other 'good' stuff by landing on top of it:
"Bring me to your lizard."
( The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
I knew that Hitchhikers quote. Loved those books! Douglas Adams was quite the genius.
I believe what I can justify to myself by what I find out. i also think that everyone has a right to believe in what they do without people trying to ram their own beliefs down their neck. This probably stems from growing up in Scotland which has a rich and violent sectarian past :OD
"horgrust" love the newly coined word
The picture these words created in my mind made me LOL I mean really loud.
Haha, I have had too much experience with those big wet mouthed beasts! :OD
Good afternoon from freezing cold Pontefract where the lack of a decent 5g mast is creating a mental health crisis for the local NHS to deal with as people struggle with the fact they turned up at Greggs this morning to find it closed as they didn't get the news on the Pontefract community fb page about the 'electrical issue' they're having.
Removing a mast indeed...didn't you get his Hive handle? He must be on here. Probably part of the info wars curating team.
They are soooo going to DV you when they read this lol
Merry Xmas grumpy yin and best wishes to the family :-)
Ha, you are back in the land of the cold!!! I presume visiting families and all that?
I will be black marked by that crew for my insidious support of non conspiracy believing 😀😀
Visiting my mother for Christmas! I say visiting, I actually mean working through a list of jobs that need doing in the house and garden and driving her between coffee shops and garden centres. Been back 3 days and not seen my brother and his wife yet so it's not all bad news 😉
Haha, that sounds alright! Family at Christmas... A necessary evil!
Horgust spot one! Don't let it go up in the first place! Once up, a landmark to forever Blurthurt.
Tell Johnny-Bag to voetsek off your stoep, never bring big sweaty paws around again....
!BEER for thirsty after-burn!
I might have to get a large dog and a sign telling folk like him to keep of the stoep! :OD Hehe, I like voetsek!
Some apt words to use down here that leave people knowing where they stand!
We had a full one debacle with our powers that be over one of those masts being directly across the road from us, mustered up the masses in protest, never went up! Final solution watch what they planning the your neighbourhood.....
See that is how to do it. Get it before it goes up. Nobody will ever get anywhere trying to get them to take it down!
I wouldn't like the thing near me just for its plain ugliness! A mast of ugly!
Cunning bastards pay people to place on their property, 30M massive tower planned directly over road from us.
We did a house to house call with full description of their plan after research going into municipal building. Stopped it immediately with each household writing directly to them. Year later we had fibre installed, not that it helps with all our national loadshedding.
Masts of doom and gloom, much like air driven windmills for 'power' and solar farms everywhere.
I never thought of that. That works be cunning indeed as done people will do anything for a dime.
We've got fibre too but also seemingly resistant spots in the house where you get nada!
I wouldn't want a 5G or any telecommunication bar on the top of my building 😄 It is known to cause cancer 🙄
I wouldnt want to be under one but I have no fears of them being in the area. They are almost exactly the same as 4G
"The last dragon died a thousand years ago, Khaleesi. It is known."
"The 5G signal causes cancer, Khaleesi. It is known."
Haha! You got me here, You wouldn't know if he was up to something so it is always good to be prepared for anything that would come.
Always be ready for the sneak attack! It has served me well! :OD
Superb! Love this bit most of all "His voice rose into a high-pitched squeal and I imagined him naked, caked in mud and leaves in the nearby woodland chasing the local wildlife with his little todger." Necessitated a follow.
Thank you! Such a comment necessitates a follow back at the very least! :O)
Blurthurt, goodness. Is that still going? Can't beat a portmanteau, although most of my being recoils against them.
I've defriended the conspiracy theorists in our town. The last straw was when I dropped by and she was burning cow dung for the good energy. I shit you not. No pun intended. The worst thing was that she BOUGHT IT IN A CALICO BAG WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS. Honestly you can't make this stuff up.
I was just like Homer disappearing into a hedge after that.
Lolz, the ones who succumbed to the conspiracy nonsense are bad but the ones who were already there just went bonkers. It's funny though that they can never step back and see themselves, like the Calico bag, ha!
The odd thing is they think WE can't step back and see ourselves. Are we bonkers to them?
They do think we are bonkers. Thats how bonkers they are :OD
That's bonkers that those bonkers people think WE are bonkers.
Bonkers!!! 😀😀😀
I love that word 😂🇬🇧
I had a couple of Mormons knocking on my door the other day. I was too polite to tell them I'm an atheist. They handed me a leaflet and said they'd be back again after Christmas 😕
They are awfully polite and nice. Even when you tell them you are an atheist they arent put off at all. I have been trapped on my doorstep for many a minute trying not to look rude and shooing them away!
Hello my dear sir, I have read your pist more than 5 times and with great humility I tell you that in one of my properties in my country, we have for "convenience of the condominium" 2 masts of 2 famous operators in my country, even though they have generated side effects such as damage to the roof of the building and they have solved it, every time there is a meeting to resolve the claim situation, the majority of the owners prevails and the towers of both operators are still swinging on the 20th floor of the building like bamboo.
Good lord, that sounds like a tricky situation! Our towers are squat grey things that look like alien lollipops. I am grateful that the one the man was complaining about is relatively far from me but near to him. I feel I have lucked out! :O)
Friend it is a matter of condominium interests, and I thought it was not lucky, for the time being we are working to eliminate the Movistar one, in the next condominium meeting by the collateral effects to the infrastructure of the building.
I wish you luck, movistar is the one I'm familiar with. They are a big company. Might be a job trying to get that one gone
I can't even remember which book it is but I remember reading a book where one of the characters yells GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN and the other character (who was probably a lesser angel) responds something along the lines of "it would be so much easier if you'd just turn around".
Haha, that is a good line! It wasn't Good Omens was it?
Oh it might have been, I can't remember it's been a while since I read that book. Does seem like it would have come from there XD I recommended it to eldest who was looking for something to read but he's taken my Baroque Cycle series instead (no complaints, also good).
Hehe, it does seem like the kind of line that would be in it. That reminds me, I need to re-read it. And the baroque cycle, is that Neal Stephenson? I like him but I don't think I have read them !
Yep Neal Stephenson. I thoroughly enjoyed them :D May have to reread at some point.
I am in a rut of reading at the mo. I might get them and have a good sesh!
I can't believe you didn't invite him in for a wee festive sherry 🤣
Haha, into the basement possibly!! 🤣🤣
I don't know what's worse then, those Mormon Drivebys, or this 5G misinformation stuff. I think you handled that well. I would suggest keeping a smaller profile early on, and looking at what they're packing from the get go haha.
Smaller profile earlier works for me. Maybe done pre-emptive hulk smashing too!
So much misinformation, it's hard to fight!
I felt a glimmer of excitement build in me. The toilet, a notorious dead spot for WiFi in my house might soon be afire with the 5Gs! Good lord, does life get any better than this? My toilet is the same. I would sacrifice a couple of health scares (maybe a testicle) for 5G in the jacksie. blanchy one ball.
Aye, I can only imagine how long I would end up in there glued to tiktok and YouTube whilst pretending to do a shite 😀
Tiktok is actually crazily addictive. I got the mother into it and she sends me cat videos all day
It totally is, they have mattered the algorithm. I only started on it when I saw some Scottish comedian on it and now I'm goosed!
It even turned out to be something even worse than you imagined. A petition against 5G network? Tch. I bet if we saw a full documentary about the millions dying cause of it, we'd still un-sign such petition.
P.S: You should definitely submit the word.
Lol, I have seen some of these documentaries! 🤣🤣
I heard that the 5G connection is risky and not good for us
Is that true?
I dont believe that to be true but some do. There are a lot of scare stories out there!
Here's a quick test: ask then how it is different from a 5 GHz WiFi signal. If they don't know, don't believe their claims about cell tower dangers.
you did what should be done with that man.
Had to be done! :O)
!WOC
Amazing work on Woc, @meesterboom! kairke(5/5) is impressed by the energy and effort you've put into this post. Your contributions are truly appreciated.
We are grateful for all the amazing content you create! As a token of appreciation, @kairke has sent you 0.2 WGOLD. Thank you for all that you do!
BTW! WGOLD is the token of the War of Clans ecosystem, you can use it to have discounts in all our games or stake it and earn rewards now!
Thank you!
#hive #posh
View or trade
BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @joanstewart for you. Enjoy it!Did you know that <a href='https://dcity.io/cityyou can use BEER at dCity game to buy cards to rule the world.
View or trade
BEER.Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @joanstewart for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.Debe dar mucha tristeza bajarse de un Porsche..es un gran auto, que imaginación la tuya hombre, me gusta...
I dont think I will ever own a porsche!
Jajajaja 🤣😂😂 yo menos , con estos sueldos en Venezuela..
Ho Ho Ho! @meesterboom, one of your Hive friends wishes you a Merry Christmas and asked us to give you a new badge!
The HiveBuzz team wish you a Merry Christmas!
May you have good health, abundance and everlasting joy in your life.
To find out who wanted you to receive this special gift, click here!
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
Check out our last posts:
Hello meesterboom!
It's nice to let you know that your article will take 4th place.
Your post is among 15 Best articles voted 7 days ago by the @hive-lu | King Lucoin Curator by nuthman
You receive 🎖 3.9 unique LUBEST tokens as a reward. You can support Lu world and your curator, then he and you will receive 10x more of the winning token. There is a buyout offer waiting for him on the stock exchange. All you need to do is reblog Daily Report 153 with your winnings.
Buy Lu on the Hive-Engine exchange | World of Lu created by szejq
STOPor to resume write a wordSTARTJohn encountered on their doorstep, who is gathering signatures for a petition against a new 5G mast in the neighborhood. Despite initial reluctance and humorous skepticism, the narrator becomes intrigued by the potential health benefits of the 5G mast. However, when presented with information about the perceived health risks and ties to COVID, the narrator dismisses the petition, labels it as nonsense, and asks John to leave. The narrative concludes with the narrator pondering the meaning of the term "stoop." Really like this, Good day.
You answered with an AI generated comment? That's poor man