People who have tried to message me in Discord probably think me an asshole for not replying or simply ignoring the requests, and maybe the label is warranted. But I get quite a lot of message requests in Discord and I see them a bit like phone calls, where I will screen them before answering them, because I don't want to spend the time engaged with cold callers.
The first red flag is if I do not recognise the person messaging, which could be because they have a different handle than their Hive username. If this is the case, well - too bad, because I am Hive first, not Discord first. If I don't recognise the name, it is because they haven't engaged with me on Hive, which then means that they are cold-calling and want something, and that something is in their best interest, not necessarily mine. In Finland, I do get plenty of calls from unknown numbers, but if the number is not coming from a Finnish number, I don't answer. Ever. Because I have zero reason to get calls like that on my private number.
Access denied.
The second red flag is the way they start the conversation, where "Hello friend" and "Hello sir" which indicates that the people have no idea who I actually am and again, they are looking for something, like a magazine seller, or a scam investment advisory service. I hate it when people call me sir almost as much as I hate it when people call me "dear", as was the style of many in the recent past who were vote begging.
Access denied.
Discord is a great tool for many reasons, but it is also a secondary tool to Hive for me. If people really want to engage with me about Hive things, they should do it on chain because that is where I want the conversation to be. If it is something personally sensitive sure, Discord can work, but one would have to first engage with me on Hive before they will get any private Discord time. And then if we then move to Discord and it is actually not personal and it is just looking for some kind of Hive support or charity, then it isn't going to go well. I don't mind helping people, but if asking for Hive support, do it on chain - be transparent - otherwise, it has little chance of being trusted.
Having said that, I am not a big fan of charity on Hive, where people are not accountable for what they are claiming. I get that many people are struggling in many ways, but the thing is, most people are struggling in many ways, meaning that if everyone gets unaccounted help, it just doesn't scale. This doesn't mean I don't encourage people to be charitable, quite the opposite, but also do not be naïve and do not trust blindly. That isn't being a good person, that is empowering and incentivising people to scam.
Be aware, be engaged, be discerning.
I have been at this for almost nine years now and I have seen all kinds of things happen on and off the platform, all kinds of scams, all kinds of good intentions turned into bitter experiences, and all kinds of attempts to manipulate both on and off of Hive. It is fucking tiring. And I just don't have the patience or the will to continue on dealing with people who are looking to take advantage of me, as I have better things to do with my life than constantly monitor for scam.
Pretty sad, eh?
And this is the problem, because every time a scammer is successful, it encourages more scam. And every time a person realises they are scammed, they become more bitter and less trusting. It generates a breakdown of social connection and increases isolation, eroding trust and goodwill amongst people. And obviously, this isn't only happening on Hive and in Discord, it is happening everywhere, at a global level. And while we can all communicate across the world which is amazing, it also increases the ability and accessibility for scammers to operate, in increasingly sophisticated ways.
We are our best line of defence.
And as such, I am careful with how I engage with people and am very wary of asks. I have been burned in the past too, helping people who were unworthy of my support at all, but manipulated me enough to get it for a time. Though I am careful now, the bigger reason for me to not take every request that comes into Discord is that it just takes too much time from the things that are actually valuable in my life. And because nearly every single time it is some ask of me for value of some kind, it is also quite soul-sucking, to only get contacted when people want something.
I talk to a lot of people on Discord and spend a fair amount of time in there also, but the people I engage with I consider friends, even if we haven't met in person. This means that the conversations I have in discord are personal and not suitable for the chain. They are like the conversations I have on the phone with friends who are in my contact list. Those conversations are not recorded.
Essentially, if people don't want to get denied Discord access, they best at least engage with me on Hive first and build up some kind of relationship and rapport, otherwise they will be subject to my first heuristic of ignoring the call. And if all someone wants is a vote or a transfer, well... I think that speaks for itself.
We all have our "auto responses" when it comes to certain behaviours, so this is unlikely to be unique to me. I know a few others who behave similarly on Discord because like me, they have been around the block as well and seen far too much and have too much time wasted in their lives also.
How about you?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Be part of the Hive discussion.
- Comment on the topics of the article, and add your perspectives and experiences.
- Read and discuss with others who comment and build your personal network
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And you may be rewarded.
When I wrote Azircon on discord, he first thought I was a scammer, too 😅 I think it was the same with your brother and other "big" people that I reached out to for whatever reasons.
Luckily, I only get a few scam messages, usually bots or reactions to me writing in the trading group in the SPL server. I'm not big enough yet to catch attention, which in this case is a good thing. Must be annoying to be in your position and get so many requests.
My discord account has the same username as my Hive - just like you write, that helps I guess.
I get Discord messages all the time, mostly from people begging for votes from me so it sort of taints my impression of anyone who reaches out. It's all in the method they use though. I prefer people to reach out of Hive first to be honest.
Some need a kick up the taint.
🤣
Shit,
I forgot to ask for votes!!!
😂
Haha, a missed opportunity.
I can not imagine ever doing such a thing. I'd be so ashamed!
I know right? Any yet it happens; scrambling for cents...they never get any from me though.
But he was right
Snitch.
He gets targeted a fair bit assume - or used to. He put me onto you btw (not as a scammer).
It gets tiring at times to get messages like that, asking for something without even having the courtesy to try and know me first. Isn't it just bad manners?
The people I recognise (positively or neutrally) I will talk with no worries :)
I remember that. He got me to write my first post, introducing myself. I went through the comments the other day, and it was very interesting to read those again. It feels like such a long time ago, though it has been only 8 months. I also remember reading a post by Bravetofu, highlighting you as one of his favorite writers. The first post I read from you was about reading, and I got inspired and wrote about reading to Lily - and you commented on it, saying that you liked it a lot and followed me. That was an important one, that huge and so friendly welcoming was a key event for me. So, thank you for that. My life is a lot richer since I'm writing again.
I also remember your brother being like "Why tf doesn't he answer to the comments?" and Azircon not only defending me right away, but also sending me a lecture on netiquette via discord. He was and is a great teacher. Unconventional, but just right for me.
Like what sort of stuff do they reach out to you about? I don't get nearly that many messages, but most of them I tend to ignore. I have a small group of friends I have gathered over the years on here that I have direct messages with on Discord. You are not one :) Not because I wouldn't, but I haven't had a reason, I do most of my conversing with you here on chain. By the way, there was a news story the other day about Finland and how it is one of the happiest place to live in the world. I didn't watch it because I had to get going.
All kinds of things, sick relatives, random undocumented charities, sick dogs.. and then there are the I posted about this you might be interested (rarely interesting to me and has nothing to do with anything I write about), or people asking me to mentor them/ support them... whatever.
I feel very left out now.
All I can say is....11% unemployment. Maybe the happy ones they asked were drunk :D
Oh, so they are typically asking for handouts. I'm glad I don't get that too much. You are welcome to reach out to me anytime you want if you can find me :). I would definitely make an exception for you.
Based on some things you have said, Finland definitely doesn't seem like the utopia I originally thought it was.
People contact you on discord to ask for upvotes? That is quite crass.
When someone asks me for funds on Hive, unless I know them quite well, I stop following them altogether. I'm on discord very little (I have enough to do!), and haven't had the pleasure of anyone I don't know well asking me for favors there. In fact, I can go for months before anyone private messages me on discord. But I do have a couple lovely relationships that are conducted mostly there. Of course, I met them all here first. Hive has been quite the springboard for me, in many respects, especailly international.
Crass is a good way to put it. There are also those who want their project supported or something too - but still, do it on chain first. If needing a project supported, the more eyes the better, right?
Discord is good for this. Though, I like the smaller groups, rather than those ones filled with a lot of randoms that degrade into bitching and complaining.
Awesome, right?
This is just like those Teams messages in the workplace where someone wants something from you and says "Hi", without "Hi, I've been told you can do this, can you do this, or point me in the direction of how it can get done?"
Super frustrating when people don't get to the point, or they think small talk will make you more likely to do something. Never the case, especially with me. Get to the point, save your time, and save my time.
Like those charity collectors who try to reel you in with (for me at least) - "hey bro, nice beard, wanna give some money to starving kids?"
I ... am not going to engage. If I was going to give, I would have done it already.
Oh I HATE when they do that. I mean, great, you're greeting first, that's something. But just get on with it. Don't catch my attention and then don't follow up.
And you do have a nice beard.
He does have a nice beard. Some might even call it glorious.
Yes - exactly like those Teams messages, but at least in a company, there are somewhat relationships and expectations to help each other. But I hate the ones who only contact when they want something, and it is never anything good :D
I hate being stopped like that. It is an attempt to guilt you into giving - I give already, thank you. There are many ways to give without doing it on the street with someone waving a can.
And at least in a company, you are normally getting paid to become increasingly infuriated at vague suggestions at tasks that should be added to your list, but are really someone else's job entirely.
Hello, dear Sir...would you be interested in investing in my new
coincommunity?Yesterday(?) on the news I heard that people scammed a few old women and taken 7k+ eur from them...It seems that those people did this while already sitting in prison. Those old women were told that their money was fake after that scammers accomplice came to collect the money. I don't know what is more sad: that people are still scamming others even from prison. or that others believe everything.
Both are sad. I was called to court (I am not going) due to being scammed out of a product I bought online at a trade site. The site was meant to be "secure" and people verified, so it isn't me at fault....
Can't blame you at all. That said, I cut back on almost all my online activitiies and that includes Discord. Deleted all servers except one. Just a time waste most times in those places with cliques and a smattering of bitching about perceived slights on Hive. Hope your weekend over there is going well so far.
People with no lives spend a lot of time in Discord bitching to others, just to feel that someone listens to them! I am discerning with who I speak to :)
Is the one server "Shill coins" ? :D
Good weekend so far mate - you?
Weekend has been okay, spening the weekdn resting, reading, watching football and household chores.
Totally makes sense. In real life I don't even take most of the local phone calls. If it is not in my address book and I am not expecting a call I will let it go to voice mail and if it is something that I should call back about then I will. Otherwise no action required.
And they never leave messages. Here I do answer, because there are lots of medical things coming from numbers I don't have - but they also tend to use apps and messages now also, not many direct phone calls unless arranged. Sales calls have dropped a lot in the last few years though - better filtering, or different channels used?
I haven't had many strangers contact me on Discord whom I had never spoken with on chain.
A couple of years ago there was one, begged me for help. She/he had just started following me on Hive and then wrote to me on Discord something along these lines.
Hello, I saw you on Hive and you seem to be a great person and I need help. Can you send me $5 so my family can get fed tonight? Please help me, things are very tough at the moment.
Wording was different but the idea was something like that. Yeah, there is a small chance that this is true but how about a NO😄
Yeah, there have been many of those over the years, and as much as I might want to help, I don't want to make the problem worse, because so many of them, if not nearly all, are just scam. On chain, at least there is some transparency.
Engaging with you first on hive makes sense, it will give the impression that the person is not just seeking their own interest. It's necessary to be wary of strangers we meet on social media, even decentralized social media platforms like hive, any of them could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Though what I'd do, even if I have encountered distrustful people on social media before, is to give every other person I meet a fair chance to know who they are before deciding to cut contact. Because a person with a good intention can appear distrustful at first.
In real life I give everyone a fair chance, because I have the ability to read their face. in Discord, that isn't the case.
I think if more folks got involved on Hive initially, it might spark more meaningful discussions. It is sad how trust can break down over time.
I used to be a trusting person - until I started in crypto. :D
“Smallsteps”… What a way to start a conversation on Discord, don't you think, @tarazk? Before continuing, I wanted to tell you that I haven't commented on your posts anymore because there is a user who downvotes every reply, and in order to pin it without the downvote, I have to delete it and repost it about 33 times until the script he uses stops downvoting. This doesn't happen with the posts I submit.
I finished reading your last post, and I am exactly the same; I do not answer calls from strangers on any of my channels.
A special greeting to little Smallsteps, now in her fourth year, just like my son Matthew. A hug full of blessings.
Oh, there's no need to add me as a contact, as I don't usually use this platform to contact my acquaintances on HIVE. The first time I used it was to talk to the guy who downvotes me, and the conversation was terrible. I was intimidated by the extortion and stopped hanging out on Discord.
Does it matter if the comment is downvoted? just write as you please. As long as it isn't AI, it is welcome here.
Have you had any bad experiences?
Certainly, my friend, I have received calls that sounded like scams, which I immediately hung up on and blocked the user. I have also received a lot of spam emails offering me a supposed inheritance from someone who picked my email address at random and saying that in order to receive it, I must make a payment for legal fees and provide my bank details for the supposed transfer. I report and block those emails. More or less, I haven't received anything strange for a few months now...
Greetings to the family... Blessings.
Being deceived is one of the worst feelings in the world. When you're deceived, a variety of emotions arise. A sudden shift in mood occurs. Feelings like anger, distrust, surprise, sadness, a desire for revenge, shame, and embarrassment emerge. Because these complex emotions arise, you don't feel the urge to help to avoid experiencing these negative feelings again. A society where no one wants to help and distrust is rife becomes practically uninhabitable.
And the more disconnected we are becoming, the lower the social trust, and the worse we are living. But, trusting everyone is naivety.
I completely agree with this. One example of this can be related to a recently dismissed sales officer from the company I work for. For a year and a half, he had been continuously earning commission (fraud) money by providing products at low prices to several sales representatives of the company and then distributing the products to areas not belonging to those sales representatives. Initially, he started small and when he received more money, he had adopted a policy against the company. When all the frauds were caught by the company, he had earned a lot of money fraudulently. A person who commits fraud continuously commits more frauds because he is very fond of it.
There is fraud by people in need, and then the greater amount by people in greed.
Agreed, if someone can’t be bothered to connect where you’re actually active, it’s probably not worth your time. You have your boundaries in check, I like that 😂
Gotta have boundaries.
It's a very important thing
This is why I love staking/locking periods. Other chains are honeypots that attract the scammybois. Here they know that even if they manage to snatch an active key, all they can do is start a power down. So they don't try, they go elsewhere. I honestly don't know why other chains aren't doing or offering this.
The price for being famous? XD
Had a minor throat constriction reading this but only because I've been recently investigating Signal/Discord/Whatsapp alternatives XD
The idea that anyone would be lame enough to do something like that still spins me out.
Only contacts can contact me on Discord and I automatically reject friend requests from names I either don't recognise at all or recognise from a server in common but haven't spoken to on any servers in common prior. If we don't talk in public I'm not going to talk to you in private (or about as private as you're going to get on Discord).