At the start of the year I started the Reflections Community, a place for anyone to reflect on pieces of their lives publicly, in the hope that in so doing, they will improve themselves and help others consider and possibly improve also. I has been relatively successful and those who use it regularly are hopefully seeing the benefit of diving a little deeper into their experience.
I read an interesting article written by a first-time community user that looked into Confirmation Bias from his perspective. I found myself agreeing with a lot of it, which is likely a sign of my own confirmation bias based on my own thinking. However, since I consider them one of the most rational thinkers I have met on the blockchain, I err on the side of nodding along.
In the article, he spoke of finding out about people lying, using "St Nick" as the example, preceded by;
One of the first things we all learn as a child that can be surprising is the concept that people sometimes lie. At first we trust everything we’re told (and for most of us, most of that information comes from our parents or caregivers), then we slowly learn that sometimes we are intentionally told false information.
But even more surprising, at least for me, was that a lot of people can tell the same lie and create a fictional reality. Why was that surprising? Because I observed that people typically lie for their own benefit, and most lies don’t benefit the majority of people, especially not enough that almost no one disputes the lie.
This was something that stood out to me, as while I was never lied to that Santa existed, my parents told many self-serving lies throughout my childhood. Parents will often justify various lies as "best intentions" but I think this is excuse more than reality. However, I am not going to delve into my less than ideal childhood right now and instead, I am going to give some air to some other reflections that came to mind from the post.
What is interesting is that while we often focus on the lies we are told, I wonder if they have all that much impact on us. What I mean is that when we are told a lie like the existence of Santa, as we grow, we start to question it, because our experience doesn't align with that version of reality. We start to investigate and discover all the suspensions of disbelief we have to hold, in order to keep on believing. This means that getting lied to can actually help us develop our learning skills, as well as our filters for the source.
There is a confirmation bias built into getting lied to, because whatever the lie is, it puts it into our awareness and gives as "material" to investigate. And I wonder if this draw on our attention leaves us open to a more insidious type of lie in the same way that we think that we see all of the influences built into social media interfaces that direct our behavior.
We are lying to ourselves.
However, in order to know this, we need to be aware of the potential of a lie, but if we aren't paying attention, they are easy to miss, because we want to believe they are true.
Looks don't matter.
How do you feel about that statement? True or false?
Anyone with even a hint of rational thought would obviously see this as a lie, yet will also not want to believe it to be a full lie, adding other conditions on top so as to soften the blow. Yet, looks always matter to humans, even those who are blind, because everyone wants to be with someone that they find physically attractive. It might not be the major influence, but it is always present in some form.
Size doesn't matter.
Again... it absolutely does. It might not be the only consideration or influence, but it has an impact on outcomes, so not recognizing the truth will carry a penalty of some kind. Knowing the truth however, means that risk mitigation actions can be taken, by for example, improving in other areas.
Money doesn't by happiness.
Are you sure about that? How do you know? Have you ever been destitute and happy? I haven't been and out of the people I know who are financially struggling, none of them have been happy. This doesn't mean they can't laugh or enjoy parts of their life, but their suffering seems to outweigh their joy and if they had a bit more money, they would be able to ease a lot of the burden that is holding them back, like worrying about how to fill their children's belly.
These last few statements are lies, yet many of us might want to make them truths, yet again, now that they are in our awareness, they give us a chance to investigate. It are the truths that are not volunteered into our awareness, that are the hardest ones to address, because we don't even know they are there. When we don't know of a truth that impacts on us, we become victims of circumstance. And if we never investigate why we are getting the results we are getting, we will forever be victimized and disempowered, unable to improve our conditions.
We lose agency.
When we aren't told known truths and are left to find out for ourselves, we might put ourselves in bad situations that could have been avoided. Often, the truths aren't told because the conversations are difficult to have, like how some parents and cultures avoid talking about sex, so their children end up putting themselves at unnecessary risk.
But, a lot of conversations are hard to have and unfortunately in the current global culture, a lot of the public discourse is not only avoided, it is punished. I was always told that some topics should be avoided in casual conversation, like sex, religion, politics, and money, but I disagree strongly.
It is around these very areas that keep us holding various beliefs and stigmas, yet we are encouraged not to discuss them, not to learn from others who might have a different perspective than our own, and not to give our opinion, and have it tested by the fires of opposition. Some of the best conversations I have ever had with strangers have been around these topics and as long as both parties are willing to be open to the discussion without getting emotionally unsettled, it is an absolute pleasure. It doesn't mean consensus and agreement are found on the topic, yet respect and even friendship can still be built.
These discussions might not be universal truths, but they can be personal truths and for humans, these are important. If we want to build better relationships and stronger communities, we need to be strong enough to face the discomforts and voice our truths, and brave enough to also recognize, our beliefs might be wrong.
Keep your opinions to yourself.
Not speaking might save us from ridicule and persecution, and not hearing might save us from having to face the discomfort of hearing the opinions of others, but it means that we go on living in a fantasy world, believing that because there is no explicit evidence, it doesn't exist. It is like because a person doesn't say racist things, they aren't racist. Personally, I would rather discuss openly with a racist person and get a better understanding of them, than speak to a racist person who hides their opinions away, pretending.
Do I want the truth?
Opinion is never the truth. Or at least, it isn't the full truth, because when the full truth is known, it cannot be denied. An opinion can be rationalized, but when there is unequivocal evidence telling a different result, the only rational option is to change belief. To not change, is to knowingly choose to remain wrong.
Right and wrong in the universe isn't a belief system, it is a natural law. But, right and wrong in the fantasy world(s) of humans, is based on beliefs and assumptions and as such, we will look for and favor evidence to prove what we believe correct, rather than evidence that proves us wrong. For example, it is far easier to ascribe events to the workings of a God, because it cannot be argued as it is unprovable, than to find unequivocal evidence that there is an undeniable God. Not finding evidence doesn't mean there is no God, but living as if there is a God without evidence is living in a fantasy.
We prefer the fantasy, because we aren't made to absorb reality.
Just imagine if we could experience the "full truth" of the world - what would that even look like? How much information is there in the totality of truth, and how much would our brain need to process and comprehend simultaneously? Is it possible? At what resolution is truth known? Do we need to see it with our own eyes, or do we need to understand the position, relationships and influences of every individual atom, and each component that makes them what they are?
What is the resolution of "enough truth"?
And this is the problem, because truth is, but it is so incredibly vast, that our human brains can never comprehend the endlessness of it. There are no boundaries on truth, there are just layers of understanding and I suspect that with all we know, we have only scratched the surface of the infinite.
Our brains are made to live through imperfect rules, heuristics and habits that will exclude far more information than is included. If we look at our lives as if they are a dirty window looking out into the night at rough shapes, we can make guesses at what lays beyond, but never fully see. In this perspective, life is all a lie, as is everything we say an opinion, because we just don't know all the possibilities.
However, it isn't practical to live as if there are no truths, so we have to find the truths that work for us and then continually refine pieces of them to improve our results. Some people do this to their own advantage only, but at some point, I believe that to make the most out of our lives as individuals, we need to help make the most out of the lives of all individuals. That happens through community and community happens through building relationships.
Essentially, to be human is to never completely know the truth about anything, but to continually be on the journey toward truth. And this endless journey is to discover who we are, who I is, because that reality is the only one that we can experience and if we do it honestly, we will discover that what we thought we knew yesterday, was infantile to what we know today, and recognize that there are many days ahead.
It is better to walk that journey helping and being helped by the many hands of a community, working toward a betterment for all, than alone. But ultimately,
alone is where we always are.
Is that a truth?
What do you believe?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Wait, are you saying Santa isn't real? 🤯
Shhhh....
Lol I don't know about that one bro. If looks matter to a blind person, they're living in misery.
Yes, but it definitely is a roller coaster. Money makes the ride more even keel.
There are possibilities that extend beyond this that I'm fascinated by. Maybe I'll write a post about it some day, but two seemingly contradictory statements can in fact both be true. You've touched on the setup for it throughout the rest of your post.
From the falsification standpoint (Popperian) we need community to provide intersubjective testability. However, from Kuhn's perspective, observations still have a whole lot of entrenched experiences acting upon them. I mostly like falsification, but I think the door needs to always be left open for literally anything to be possible. Feyerabend is more my jam. Fuck it. Send it.
Yes. It takes pressures off some areas, giving space in others to enjoy a bit more.
Exactly. And, it has to traverse time and space. Computers were "not possible" on earth a million years ago, but they weren't impossible either. All the materials needed were present. And then, we don't know what is happening a million lightyears away from us.
I was thinking about this same thing yesterday. Will we be able to process the amount of truth there is if we were granted. Will we die of the influx of information or bang our heads on the wall on how deeply we'd been living in a lie?
Most likely die. But, if you imagine if we suddenly had perfect knowledge, we needn't regret, because we would also know exactly what to do from that moment on.
Exactly. Too bad chances of that happening are rather slim.
To know the full truth, is to know everything. I think it would be absolutely miserable to know everything because of how boring everything would be.
Yeah, nothing is a mystery. No need to discover. To work. To build. I should think that's quite a nightmare.
Religion is one of the innate morals of a lot of people. This is the great question considerable followers and disciples have at the back of their heads, but never get to talk about it because it's seen as a forbidden fruit and no one gets to have a bite at it.
The big questions are less talked about while the irrelevant ones are being pushed by the media and that's what comes easy for people to talk about. I bet my pastor would think im possessed if I try to push a question like this to him...
The irrelevancy of the media topics is the equivalent of Gladiator games to appease restless peasants.
I think it is a tool that should be used in the dose of social media. In the past, Facebook times were much more sincere and realistic, now especially Instagram seems like a swamp to me. I can't remember the last time I posted a story and I'm very happy with it. I don't even want to open Instagram on Saturdays, people's fake faces seem so insincere unfortunately and everyone is in an unnecessary race with each other, I don't know why. I also feel that with the increase in marketing on social media, it has moved away from its original purpose, and I think the old version was much better. The wick of insincerity was ignited by the spread of Snapchat's unique story feature to all media. I felt that I was very full about this subject, I could tell a lot more but better stop here I think.
I can't even look at those popular social media sites at all. It is just sad nonsense. It hasn't been sincere for years, especially since it is monetized through ad revenue. Everything is algorithmically driven to increase profits, including all of those selfies.
Absolutely I agree. I think these are big threats that affect the order of life deeply, maybe this statement may seem like an exaggeration, but I believe you will agree with me when you look deeply. It is very easy to feel that there is no intimacy in our daily life, even in bilateral dialogues, I cannot imagine 5-10 years after how it will be. This nonsense continues to grow like a snowball
So many people are intimacy starved in so many ways. Intimacy requires someone knowing us, but the problem with pandering to strangers for attention is that we are not our true selves, and we will never know their true selves.
Oh boy, you touched the truth subject! I salute you. I know for a fact reaching such mind expansion is not easy, for it is a very expensive thing. All of your innocence, our families, friends and even gods.
I agree with you, life is a convenient lie. It needs to be, for survival purposes. We are all being brainwashed since the moment we are born, and you can test it right away. How about the flat earth subject? A blatant lie! But then... do we know for a fact the earth is round? Do we even bother doing the right experiments to prove it? The truth is, I won't, because I don't really care about using my time to prove that. But other people would say. "It's round because science says so!" But that's authority phalacy.
We use the "science" excuse because is culturally beneficial like it was in the middle ages to say "God", and we don't care about it as long as it works. So indeed, life is quite a mistery and mind is very self deceptive. To dwell into all these self told lies it's so obscure and sometimes so obcene it makes some puke as if going through rehab. Amazing thing, this mind of ours.
If the most adamant flatearther was taken to space, would they come back and still believe the earth was flat?
At some point, part of the lie has to be to put our trust in others who we predict know better than ourselves. I drive my car almost daily, but I am not a mechanic and when I push the breaks, I trust the car will stop, even though I had nothing to do with their development, creation, or service. Trust in science is similar, but blind trust in science is dangerous. The incentives to lie are very high, so checks and balances are needed.
To do this we must shed the veil in science. Revealing the truth; There's no diference between saying "It must be done because the bible says so" to "This is true because this book says so". To create an open mind, willing to investigate anything, we must shed the veil of shame, of tribalism, of the new cultural belief at power, science of course. I am not saying just free denialism, but with an ultimate purpose.
Sometimes, human knowledge faces a bottleneck. Usually when it must shed old believes to breaktrhough, this is when Albert Einstein made great discoveries, when he defied the laws of the absolute and found relatives in them all. Then quantum physics and so on, in every stage of human knowledge.
There was a time when I used to be bothered about the things I see online but not anymore. Most things there are fake and life seems more complicated because so many people are hiding the truth away from themselves
We all hide from ourselves, which is part of the reason entertainment is so engaging. It distracts us from the voice in our heads.
Time it consumes is a lot. Like you would be struggling otherwise. Some of the time consuming actions happen because knowledge transfer does not happen. I know I had to learn from a lot of mistakes and nobody explained things. It would have saved a lot of time. I also think that with time the truth changes and we move ahead based on new change in the world.
This is the difference between the outcomes of kids whose parents taught them about financial health, and those that didn't. The average outcomes at least.
Yes. In societal terms, truth is far more fluid. In natural terms, quite static, but there is the possibility for change.
I believe that we all the humanbeings should start questioning things after a certain age, particularly in daily life. Otherwise, we would follow the lifestyle of others.
Even if we want different results from them. It is like not wanting to be like our parents, but acting like them.
I also believe the same. Money doesn't buy happiness. This is a fact of life. When I saw around me, I found that there are lot of Peoples that have luxurious life style but they are not happy. Kind of blank present in their lives. Health issues found at such places so they can't enjoy the life properly. This is a bitter reality of life.
I disagree. Money can buy happiness, relative to not having money. Happiness itself is not a very good term to use, as it is always fleeting.
Everyone has its own opinion. This depends upon our life stages to which we passed.
I believe in the physical laws of this universe. I admit the possibility of the existence of spiritual laws.
You can do a lot with money in this world - for example, change your place of life in Nigeria to Paris or London.
P.S. Do not upvote this comment, there is a high probability of losing curatorial ones :)
Possible, but not probable outside of the context of human experience perhaps.
I upvote what I want and pay the costs :)
:)
one is forced to lie. I'm too honest and I push people away.
Too opinionated, perhaps :D
one hand wants honesty. The second one is punished. like if I tell a potential partner about my weaknesses and don't try to make an impression. it's worse to lie to her and she'll figure it out later on her own? or not get a chance based on honesty.?
Be yourself. If they don't like you as yourself, why would you want a chance with them? If what you want is just sex, then it doesn't matter right? They don't need to like the real you, you don't need to like the real them. If you want an actual relationship with trust, be honest. But, honesty doesn't mean being blunt, cruel, mean or vomiting every flaw. Relationships take time to develop that trust, but people are so in a rush, they want to skip the formative steps and then wonder why they don't get to where they want to be
Before we can be honest with anyone, we need to first be honest with ourselves.
I was her toy. She promised a family...And I wanted a family. She her son and me.
It sounds like you are damaged.
Promises aren't worth much.
"Trust" isn't on the other person to meet your expectations. Trust is in your judgement on whether the person is trustworthy or not. If poor at evaluating behavior, it is common to put trust in people and promises that aren't likely.
Hello son! I was casually writing something with the intention of returning to Hive and beginning to heal through writing, but didn't know which community to post in. I just looked for reflections and here I am. Now that I read your article I understand that I have come to the right place. I'm glad you had the motivation to start this space, I know it will serve me a lot. I wish you well because you do good and I send you blessings.
Welcome to the community. :)
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I usually avoid discussing topics of politics and religion in discussions. However they are topics enjoy to discuss with those who can have a calm discussion. The problem is that anymore, it seems people fly off the handle if you have a dissenting opinioning from them on those topics. So I just avoid them anymore unless I know them well enough they can keep their head.
Last 3 years is exactly that, wrong think are cancelled and punished, government tells you what the truth is. Sadly there are way too many people conforming out of fear, or ignorance, or convenience, or just want to be “socially acceptable”.
Yay! 🤗
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Having just spent the wknd across the country in San Diego with my partner after being home alone for 13 day, I can without a doubt say that I like having other people / partners / roommates as a part of my routine. I'm all about holding each other up and pitching in.
Everything matters and nothing matters. It is all intentional, so put that agency and energy in the right places...
like #Splinterlands Modern!