It poured this week. And when I say poured, I mean it did so both literally and figuratively. We've been submersed in record breaking rain and in life I was handed so much to handle that I finally broke down and did something that is the hardest of all things for me to do, ask for help.
And that's were the sublime comes in. One of my limiting beliefs is that if I require anything from those whom I love, if I deign to be my true, authentic self, I will be thrown away. Perhaps that sounds silly, but experiential evidence has shaped me to believe that falsehood.
Instead, I tend to play the role of the ever-amiable, always-acquiescing to every request helper who picks up the slack while everyone else goes about the business of being themselves. It's a terrible liar state that I've allowed myself to stay in over the years, even after I attained my freedom.
Anyone who has done (or still is doing) the work to defeat the habits that present themselves as the offspring of limiting beliefs knows that overcoming conditioning whether it was externally or internally imposed is a life-long, continual effort. But let me just state it right here for anyone who's reading this, the work to learn, the work to grow is always worth it. Yes, there will be discomfort, but it's a glorious pain that yields the greatest thing of all, you serving this world through the magnificent act of just being authentically you.
Which brings me back to me breaking down and asking for help. My hubs has been helping some dear friends on a pretty hush hush major project. He's been out of the state doing so, not terribly far away, but far enough that I have been handling everything solo. Now, I am more than capable enough to handle things, the problem is that our family does A LOT of stuff, from volunteer work, to running a farm, to the kids are both very actively involved in a lot of things, etc., and we didn't organize our schedule/to dos, etc., in a way that only one parent could handle if one left, especially since that one parent who stayed behind also works full time.
So what was happening is that I was running myself into the ground trying to do it all without acknowledging that the all was a schedule of things designed around two adults and two capable teenagers tending to it at the bare minimum. Every day I would get up and hit the ground running, telling myself that I could do it, because I wanted my hubs to be able to do his thing and the kids to do all their things.
Here's the thing though, it was hurting me and I was in denial about it.
So, after finally breaking down and admitting that I truly did need some assistance, I messaged my husband. Also, I wasn't all rational and logical when I did this, I was truly a wreck. Here's the thing about helper/giver personalities, we truly don't consider the fact that we might not be able to do that which helps those we love without harming ourselves. It doesn't even occur to us when someone we love asks us to do something that we might not be able to handle it. We are happy when those we love are happy. By the time we crash and burn from being dolts, damage has probably been done, and it's usually to us. The problem is that we have to learn that we have needs too, and it is absolutely okay to ask for help or to not want to do things.
Talk about a hard lesson to learn.
And then came the sublime part. My husband literally dropped what he was doing and was home in a few hours. He swept in like a knight in shining armor and lessened my burden. The amount of gratitude I feel towards him cannot even be properly expressed with any amount of words. I feel so loved.
Which brings me to today, A Sublime Sunday of glorious contentedness. As I finished my daily walk I meandered over to our finally blooming lilac bush to take in its soggy, yet still fragrant blooms. All the deluges Life has thrown at it has not stopped that marvelous flower from blooming, from exploding into its show of life, and I feel that's a perfect representation of my experience this week as well. The rain did fall but I endured, shook off the soak, and bloomed out in the most sublime way, displaying the glory of my growth after the storm.
A sublime thing indeed...
Sorry to hear you are task-struggling, Kat.
I can only offer you a bit of a treat to help. So lilacs, who knew, are edible and a delicious way to dress up your lemonade. Take some clean cuttings, high up. I learned the hard way, a whiff test, that dogs pee on the lower branches, and then infuse some water with the petals, pee free petals.
Oh my ... so lovely. I made lemonade for all and then spiked it with a little Makers Mark for the adults. Like drinking spring. Our lilacs are finished up, and so now I await next year to pillage my neighbors' gardens:)
Oh my dear friend, lol lol, you sure know how to cheer someone up😆
I've never thought about infusing lilac petals into lemonade and I am so going to try it...with petals from the top of the bush LOL!
Thank you so much for sharing, hope all is well up north😊
I never ask for help. I cannot. I am the strong one. Eight years with my wife battling cancer. I have to be the strong one.
Will I ever break? And have to ask for help. Maybe, more than likely.
Do I feel like asking for help? All the time.
What I am trying to say is, I think I know what you went/are going through.
Be proud that you had the conviction to ask for help. I am proud of you.
Bradley
!BBH
!ALIVE
!CTP
Morning😊
You are such a special soul my dear friend, I am so thankful your wife has you in her life as she fights her battle.
I'd probably say more but I think I am just going to sit here for a minute and smile...
!CTP
!PIZZA
Thank you 😊 I am smiling and blushing
!BBH
!ALIVE
!CTP
@generikat! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @bradleyarrow. (21/30)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Because this is such an awesome post, here is a BBH Tip for you.
. Keep up the fantastic work
@generikat! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @bradleyarrow. (28/30)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Because this is such an awesome post, here is a BBH Tip for you.
. Keep up the fantastic work
Lilacs are one of my very favorite
Mine too😊
You were in a pressing situation and it is absolutely okay you asked for help. And I am happy you did, especially when our knight in shining armor turned up. I could just imagine the smile on your face and the relief, it must have been priceless.
Aww, you are the sweetest person ever I swear! And yes, it was just glorious when he rolled up in our massive truck, there might have been tears...
Thank you so much for your kind words and for stopping by!
!PIZZA
One thing this world seems to be lacking is authenticity - historically we want to be independent, with the "no I can do it myself" attitude. And I admire this individualism for sure. But the world is becoming lazy and collectivist, "get in line", conform to the masses, support the current thing, the collective will take care of you, dependency. While I don't admire this mindset, I can understand it. We were all infants once, completely dependent for everything, when times are tough we're about ready to crawl back into a meta-womb.
So between these two extremes - we have to allow ourselves to become uncomfortable. We have to feel the pain of growth. We have to be authentic, when it would be easier to just pretend.
The more we can maintain the "I CAN" mindset, while also being humble enough to admit when we need help, the more we can survive between the individualist and collectivist mindsets. This how we develop authenticity: by exercising our strengths and improving upon our inadequacies through character building experiences. Don't pretend. View things as they are, not how we'd like them to be. Deal with reality. Seek what is REAL. Build on a foundation of truth. Be willing to let go of LIES. Do not become cynical. Decide to be happy!
As someone who adores individualism and freedom, I too am saddened by the lack of authenticity in this world and the missing expression of community.
You hit upon it all perfectly with the humility and discomfort themes, there can be no authentic growth without them, and if you are constantly conforming or posturing all arrogant, you're hiding from the greatness.
Or something like that😉
Thank you so much for the most glorious comment ever!!
!PIZZA
!CTP
I have never had a comment called glorious before, thank you... I'm blushing.
I am glad you were finally able to ask for help. I've seen it all too often, the caregiver type who does not take care of themselves well. I am glad he came and helped you.
I'm so glad too, and have reminded him of my gratitude often😊
And you are so right, caregiver types are the worst about asking for and receiving care...sigh, lol!
Im glad there was a happy ending. 🙂
Thanks! Me too😊
The lilacs are lovely, and I see that cute canine got into the photo, too. Wonder if that innocent looking critter has peed on the lilac bush? My little bitty lilac bushes are finally going to bloom this year!! I am so excited about it!! They are just starting now. Yay!
Cora's really good at photobombing lol! I am so excited your baby lilacs are going to bloom, that's one of my favorite things about gardening is when the plants that take longer to do their thing finally bloom! My bush cherry finally bloomed this year too! YAY!
BTW, so glad you decided to drop by yesterday😊
I am so glad you could get some solace in your lilac bush. Thank for sharing, The sun will shine soon.
Thanks @rcaine! And you are so, so right, even from the side of the hill I am climbing right now, I can see the sun shining😊
!CTP
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