If I was asked to name the most well-presented person I knew I'd say my father. He was impeccably turned-out most of the time. I don't just mean with his clothing, personal grooming and posture but also with his manners, courtesy, the way he spoke to others, the care and attention he he showed, generosity, patience and attention to detail. You know, I never once heard that man utter a swear word; I can't say the same for myself.
My father's influence wore off on me though, as did the lessons he taught me; Humility, kindness, courtesy and generosity of course but other things also. Self respect, ownership, solid work-ethic, gentlemanliness, how to think before I act and naturally how to represent myself the best I can as often as possible. It stayed with me throughout life.
I had a different life than my father; our journey's ran parallel when I was a kid however at the age of seventeen and a half I was asked (told) by my mother to move out of home and I did - I never went back. I was out in the world and had to make my way as best I can.
I made mistakes, so many damned mistakes. I did difficult things with mixed results and had dark moments but...Yep, there was a flipside also; good times, success and positive return from the thoughts, attitude and actions I injected into my life. It's been a tumultuous life but at the same time there was a constant...The lessons my dad taught me.
I'm a knucklehead but I work hard
I've always worked hard to represent the best version of myself and whilst I'm a complete knucklehead I've mostly done a reasonable job at it I think.
Sure, I've not always been my best version but I believe that I have been more often than not. I've worked so hard, in the past and now, to be a good man and in my profession's have applied ownership, responsibility and discipline to the jobs, the duty or task at hand. It has cost me a great deal but has largely allowed me to stand tall and say, I have acted with honour and integrity.
I've always felt inclined to represent well for myself but when it comes to my jobs have felt compelled.
If I'm paid to do a job I'll work tirelessly to do it to the best of my ability - I'm like that with most things to be honest, the tasks I set for myself also. It's not always been easy but the lift heavy shit ethos has governed my behaviours when it comes to operating on an employers' behalf, no matter who that may be. It means to work hard, find courage and bravery, undertake the activities that get the job done no matter the difficulties or risk and it means to close it out, then look for more shit to lift. That ethos has kept me alive, kept me efficient and productive.
Tailored representation
A week ago my new employer handed me a set of business shirts with an embroidered company logo on the right chest section and their catch-phrase embroidered across the back between the shoulder blade area. They look pretty cool. There's no obligation to actually wear them but I don't mind doing so - I'm there to represent them after all. The problem though is that they were too big for me. The arms too long and too baggy in the chest and torso area - I looked like I was wearing a potato sack with a logo on it.
With my represent the best I can ethos they were simply never going to work for me. So...It was off to the tailor with those shirts.
I picked up those five shirts today and the tailor asked me to try one on as it would make her feel better knowing they came out well. I did so and, yep they came out perfectly.
I had darts put in the back and the two side-seams unpicked and tapered to give the shirts a wedge-shape then the cuffs were removed, sleeves shortened and the cuffs replaced. I asked for just a little room, not too much, and she nailed it - That's for those days I eat a hundred donuts. In short, I'm really pleased with how they came out and, considering the $250AUD it cost me to have them tailored, I'm relieved they look so good.
This new job is a little more casual than the one I've had over previous twenty years; in that one I wore a suit every day and yes, had them tailored. Now it's more casual and I'm just as likely to be wearing a polo shirt than a business shirt but there will be times I'll have to style-up a little. No suits though. I'll wear these logo-shirts as well, especially now they look so good.
Capable, confident and professional
Personal grooming, being well-dressed, well-mannered, courteous and polite, punctual, respectful, a good listener and a raft of other elements all combine to make a person successful in business; yes, it's situational in respect of which are most important but in general these elements all matter. There's other factors as well however without these I'd not likely win as much business. It shows one cares and has discipline and respect.
It's like the military...They drill the troops, march them up and down the parade ground, enforce standards of grooming and presentation of self and equipment with severe implications for those those don't comply to their satisfaction; it's regimented. Is all of this required to be better at the job? Yes, you bet! In the military one must do as one is ordered without hesitation as lives, or the mission, often rely on people doing so. It starts with those elements above. It's the same in the civilian world, well mine at least...So I tailored my shirts.
Looking the part helps me to feel capable, confident and professional. People want to deal with winners so I want to look like one as it opens doors, helps build good first impressions and confidence in the person and the company they represent. In the military troops follow the example set by the chain of command, the NCO's and field officers; in business the same principles apply with employees and customers. Taking the time to present as best as one can matters for a leader (and everyone in my opinion) and that's why I work hard to represent.
My dad is gone now but often I find myself doing or saying something he did, exactly like he did, and it makes me smile and think well of him and the lessons he gave me, the influence his presence had upon me. I'm a different man though and will never come close to being the man he was but I try. He was a good man, the best really, and I'm happy to know that my life has been, and is, a representation of his. It feels good.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Discord: galenkp#9209
Seems like a bygone age with dress sense, look at photos of 100 years ago and everyone was well dressed.
Yes, I agree completely. I know times change but I'm not sure when it happened that a person felt it's ok to present at their worst.
Im a person who rarely grooms itself, in fact, in so far away from it that i know it to be a fact and i fight myself over it every day...
I dont like myself, my looks or who i am, that is my truth, i have being improving for years, but 5 years of toxic relationship and 2 years of cronic depression dont suddently stop... I managed to finally let go of that bad relationship, now i have a loving fiancee, a beautifull child, and yet. Even now that im finally "off of the depression" im still slightly left own it. Some part of my ended up being eatean up by it, it was left there...
My gramma was someone that influenced a lot on me, she never would allow herself to look bad, she would never have any of the mistakes or flaws i have on my body. And not event on grampas dead she ended up being dragged down by it.
Im just floating up from the depresion, i feel it close to my feet but im floating in the pool, the tranquil waters made it easy for me to stay out of it, but im still showing symtoms of it. And the biggest one of them is this one.
I try to push my self to take care of me, groom and image is no the only thing, im 50kilograms overweith right now, i was 30 not event 3 years ago, i have gottent fatter on a country with hunger crisis... and eating as unhealthy as Duck, covid hit me like a truck because of it...
Thank you for this posts, it made me think a lot while reading it. I have to find new ways to solve the old problem. IF not, it would be left uncheck and it would grow event more.
Relationships can be so positive and also very negative; I'm glad you were able to move on from the toxic one and have now settled into something of more value. That's something to be grateful for and proud of I think.
We all have weight upon our shoulders and it affects us in different ways; sometimes breaks us. The thing is though, is that we have the ability to make changes and to do so we must first understand that change is required. I get the feeling you have done this and that's a very big step. Now it's time to build upon that momentum and move forward. It's never easy, but with a compelling reason, a WHY that makes you want to find change, one is able to move closer to it.
Thanks for sharing some of your story and please accept my best wishes for the future. Lift heavy shit my friend, meaning do the work required, and you'll soon beging to step the scenario forward.
There's a lot to learn about how you appear, it shows how much value you give to yourself and the others around you. People would surely want to associate with you, some for the sake of learning, others so they'll share in your praises.
You dad sounds like the kind of man I'd love to meet and rub minds with. I'm not that refined yet and I still have a lot to learn, strating with building my confidence and my appearance.
This is quite educative, thanks for sharing
Thanks for your comments and kind words.
My dad was super-intelligent and very kind-hearted. He wasn't perfect, in fact it was him who taught me that no one is and that's ok. He was a good fellow and I try to emulate that. I fail mostly, but in trying I get closer to success.
It's good to have the thought that no one is perfect. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking too highly of others.
The ability to learn from our failures is what makes us grow.
Thank you for your reply
My father used to tell me that's it my failures that bring me closer to being the right person to accept success.
Makes sense.
Makes a lot of sense...
I'll save those words too. Thank you
Reading your posts always turn my attention back to the book I'm reading or the lectures of Napoleon Hill. Some of his line or groups are positive mental attitude, mastermind alliance and to do more than your paid for.
Your father must have been a man of wisdom and a great father, no doupt he was honored to have a son like you. Thank you kindly for the lessons, and sharing your story, you know you are amazing and the best!
There's plenty of people out there, famous and otherwise, who say the say similar things which I think is really great; the more people promoting this mindset the more chance people get to hear and absorb it.
My dad was a good chap, far from perfect, but a person that lead by example. I'm my own man, but that started with him and the influences he had on me.
Thank you for your kind words, it's much appreciated.
Someone once told me if you are late you are disrespecting the other person/people . That stayed with me and I am never late for anything. But on the downside I go mad if anyone is late on me. I think we are pretty alike when it comes to a job. For some reason I nearly tend to be more loyal to a job than other stuff which I find weird but it's in me.
Are you me? Lol. I'm exactly the same. And yes, being late is disrespectful to the person/people you're going to meet in my opinion.
Having integrity has so many facets and the loyalty thing is one. There's different ways in which is comes out and the job scenario is certainly one. One must be true and loyal to oneself of course, however in doing so that forces a person (you and I for instance) to be loyal elsewhere. It's circular...Integrity - loyalty - respect - ownership - effort - integrity.
Something like that anyway.
Thank you for your comment.
You need a good Thai tailor handy - but damn - $250!! 😲 🤣 - I need to sit down.
Yeah, $50/shirt was a bit I guess, she did a great job though.
I once got a couple suits tailored in Thailand (Phuket) and a heap of shirts. It all came out really well and all for the cost of what I would have paid here for just the shirts!
Your dad really did do a good number on you and it shows, I'm certain he is proud of the person you have become.
I really love that you started out with an Alexander the Great quote and agree with you completely that good grooming and great manners are such great attributes. Keep it up, good sir.
Thank you for saying so; it's been one of those days on which I've missed him a lot, knowing he's around. It happens.
I've been looking for an opportunity to quote Alexander the Great and today was the chance. That fellow achieved so much and it's a wise man who needs his words I think.
Thank you for your excellent comment and for taking the time to read my post.
I like that you brought them to the tailors. Most people wouldn't bother, but, I found if you present well, look sharp, you feel confident about yourself. I think it is a whole package.
It is probably the one thing I feel strongly about. It is hard to show due respect to someone who doesn't care enough to show up looking appropriate.
You may not be the man your father is, but, you are your own man and I am sure just as equal in everyone else's eyes.
Hi, Galen!
You're right, respect needs to be earned and whilst how one looks alone isn't enough to earn it, add the right behaviours and actions and a person is well on the way. Right now I'm on the couch watching motor racing and looking rather sloppy...But at work I never do; it's best foot forward at all times, and the behaviours to match.
I'm glad you were able to get those shirts tailored to your preference. There's nothing like having to wear uncomfortable clothing, whether it's because you don't like how it feels, or because you know that it doesn't fit who you are.
Yeah, I'm not into wearing baggy potato sacks...Although I love potato's.
You might love potatoes - but you really wouldn't want to wear those either!
I love a good fitting shirt! That's a corking good idea to get them tailored. I have only had a couple done before. There is a little place down the road from me and the seamstress lady is a stonking hot Eastern European woman. It's always a pleasure to find an excuse to see her. Lol.
Dude, get them funking shirts down to that hottie, tear your, I ❤️ El Jefe, T shirt off, whip on one of those oversized business shirts and let her pin them up...Good excuse to expose that rippling chest of yours, do some marketing as such. Trust me, you'll be doing her a favour.
She'll want to measure your inseam and...One's inseam should be measured. You know? I know you know. ✅
And, in all seriousness, tailored shirts are what all the Titans are doing.
#sohotrightnow
I sell all about the inseam measuring!! I once gota pair of trousers taken in a bit at the waist and the measuring was simply delightful.
That's the gentlemanly total way of putting it 🤣🤣
Yeah, I am gonna get my shirts done! The ones that need it that is!
Titan!
Forever Titan!
Presentability is something most people overlook, yet it is a mark left by intelligence and discipline. Love your writing.
Thanks for taking a look and commenting.
Your work are always worth looking at.
I have always tried to live my life off several guiding mottos. One of those is that hard work covers a multitude of sins. I believe that is true in personal and professional lives. As I was reading this, I begin thinking of the men and women throughout my life who had the greatest impact on me and those who I hold in high esteem and each one of those carried themselves well. They lived extremely inentionally and I have tried my best to emulate that way of life.
I am also honest to a fault and take ownership almost pathologically serious...lol.....in the very short term it has caused me issues, but in the overall arc of my life it has allowed me to be seen as a man of integrity and accountability and that has opened a multitude of doors in my life personally and professionally.
And of course, in the immortal words of those Amercian muscial poetic giants......"Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!"
Too few people value the ideals you mention these days. I'm not sure when it happened but greed, ego and selfishness are seemingly more important to many people than honor, integrity and ownership. Sad really.
Your topic is unique, your story is so amazing and sad when I read these sentences.
Mostly fathers are model for their sone.
Don't be sad mate, getting out into the world was the best thing ever! I learned the hard way and had the ability to celebrate the successes I created myself through hard work, effort, trial and error. It was the best thing that could have happened as it forged who I am in the crucible of life.
Ohh, really, great!!
Many could use your fathers influence sir. That's fucking impressive you never heard him curse.
I was funny about my attire back when I had to do that stuff too. I wasn't a fan of company shirts but would often repeat: Look good feel good. The fellas would turn it into a competition within weeks of my arrival and I hate losing. Pin stripes and snaps, rolled up cuffs, matching slacks, boot laces and bandana was typical...
To climb tower cranes.
Very nice read. Good morning from wherever I am. 👊🏼
I've always wanted to operate one of those tower cranes. Just looks like fun, although I think it's more about safety than fun.
You must have been the best dressed crane operator in the States. I don't blame you, one must represent after all.
From wherever I am to wherever you are, have a good weekend.
I'm glad you could get those shirts tailored @galenkp, your dad sounds like he was a true gentleman and wise man, I'm sure he raised you well by how you speak of him. Love reading your post. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us and enjoy your new job. Go well.
Thanks for taking a read. Yes, was was a gentleman, to a fault actually. Unswervingly gentlemanly. He imparted that in us, although we're different than him, albeit with an underlying sense of the lessons he left us.
Only a pleasure @galenkp it was a good read, go well and keep safe.
I am a Nigerian and from your post I deduced that our kids can emulate alot from our doings just as I emulate alot from my father who served for 35 years without any query from office. The man was just too good too humble and faithful. There were times I used to think that how can a person be this kind gentle and tolerant? I have the best dad in the world and when i say that, believe me I have my deep reasons.
Thank you for sharing yours.,it motivate me to share mine.
The examples we set are often picked up by those around us, especially children, which is why it's a good idea to set good examples.