Good evening!
This weekend has been surprisingly lovely.
I say surprising because given all the things happening with my mom, my aunt and recently my grandma… it can be easy to feel wrapped up in sad. However, this weekend over all, and today in particular, were lovely. I had fun and felt very productive. Two things that have been lacking a bit lately.
Yesterday’s big event was cleaning out my grandma’s condo. I have been working my way through this task a little bit at a time. Her place is immaculate and SUPER organized, which helps. However, grandma still has a lifetime of stuff to pack up. The packing is time consuming (especially since my parents can’t help). Lucky for me, one of my friends joined me for yesterday’s session.
Today started with yard work. We have a bed of roses that lines our driveway, but every spring the rose bed fills with weeds, wood hyacinths, and grape hyacinths. I love hyacinths but they get completely out of control if they are not potted. So this morning I pulled out all of the weeds and hyacinths from between the rose bushes.
Today was so sunny and warm. After yard work, we popped the roof off our new car (for the first time), and drove down to the waterfront. It felt like being on vacation.
My favorite thing about where we live is our proximity to the water. Our house is just about one mile from Puget Sound, so most sunny days we will take walks along our town’s waterfront. Today we ventured onto the beach and the fishing pier.
After the waterfront, I visited a nearby open house. We are not really house hunting, but there has been the slightest bit of talk about getting a bigger house. Mostly so my dad could move in with us after mom passes away. He is in his 80’s and needs to live someplace with less stairs. I don’t know if moving in with us is the answer, but it is one possible option.
I wanted to see this house because all of the bedrooms and laundry are on the main floor. Plus, there are only two steps up to the front porch. Stairs are terrible for oldies, so a place like this could be good for us.
Last activity of note today was a visit to mom and dad’s place. Mom has been sleeping a lot lately, but today she was awake. Happily we had a good visit. Because mom is officially enrolled in at home hospice, she has been given a hospital bed. Which is set up in my parent’s living room. That part is kind of weird, but it is nice she can be out with the family even though she is bedridden.
Life is a funny thing. Good times and tragedy all sprinkled together in one big delicious but messy stew. Today I am thankful the good of life outweighed the sad bits.
❤️
Sorry to hear what you are going through. My mom just passed after a long long battle through Parkinson’s and dementia.
My
Heart is with you at this time my friend. ❤️
I was just thinking about you and your mom not that long ago. I am so sporadic with being on a hive that I often miss what is happening with folks. I am so sorry about your mom. 💔 I hope you and your dad are doing Ok. The loss is so hard. Then the logistics on top of the loss add this whole other layer to the sh-t show. Hugs to you. ❤️
Thank you. Best wishes for your situation as well. It’s never easy.
We are hanging in there as best we can. It’s a part of life. Not that misery loves company, but it kinda helps knowing that this is something that billions of folks have lived through. That sone what comforts me a bit to think if all these people can do it…so can I. ❤️
I get that. There is some comfort in knowing everyone loses their parents. But your mom is your only mom.
The only one you will ever have to lose. And there is no one on this earth like your own mama. So it is a loss worthy of all the heartache and sorrow. 🫂
Very well said my dear. Well wishes your way.
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I love the new car you’ve got. And the open house has a really nice view from the laundry room. Hopefully, the happy times continue to outweigh the sad times
Thank you for the happy time wishes. 🙂
I loved the laundry room in that house. My current laundry room is down in a basement. How much nicer would the washing, folding and ironing be in a room with a lovely view? 😃
That's an awesome weekend! Those bottle of perfumes looks very lovely!
The perfume bottles are pretty. Such an old fashioned thing to collect, but grandma has been building her collection for decades. And she cleaned them religiously. Not a spec on dust on them or in her house until after she passed away. I am super thankful about how heathy and active she was right until the end. Not many folks can get to almost 99 years old with their faculties and health intact.
It's great to see you have a bit of me time and enjoying yourself to take your mind off things, you need that break.
Your grandma has some very nice things, what are your plans to do with them ?
ps, the hat looks nice on you, very classy
I have no idea what we will do with grandma’s stuff. So far I have really only packed up her clothes, purses and linens to be donated to a charity shop. It is hard to know what to do with the rest. A lot of it is very nice, but mom won’t be around too much longer to enjoy it. And I have no kids to pass things to. So do I keep another set of China dishes or 50 perfume bottles when I either have my own or no place to put the stuff?
So far we (dad & me) have been taking little things to our respective homes that either he and mom or me and my husband want (like family photos, jewelry, I found a silver plate with my name engraved on it). And I have been “shopping” her pantry. Like I take home dumb things like her TP, Kleenex, some cereal and a bottle of vanilla extract. 😄
Over the weekend I was into some more sentimental things, and am at a loss for what to do. For example, I found mom’s baby shoes. And grandma has a painted portrait of their family dog. It feels weird getting rid of this stuff. But what will it do other than sit in a box in my garage until I die one day?
I will probably save grandma’s china and crystal to give to my cousin’s kids when they are older. My cousins are all on my dad’s side so not related to grandma, but at least there is some connection there.
There is also a vintage / antique store near me where I might try to sell some things. When my parent’s give the OK I might also offer that friends and family can come by to take anything they might like. (It is also weird/hard because I have to take care of all the dispersal, but all of the stuff now belongs to mom. So she and dad want to approve what I am doing. Which just makes the whole process more drawn out due to mom’s condition.
Ha ha! This reply is so long it is its own post! (Obviously what to do with everything is weighing on my mind!) 😄
I take it there are no sibings or cousins to help you out? It's really tough having to do all this by yourself. Some things like raiding her pantry or any consumables is much easier and practical. But memorable stuff that only means something to you and your mum won't mean much to anyone else. You almost feel guilty throwing them away. Hopefully friends and family will pick up a lot of things. Personally I think as long as they go to someone who appreciates it, then it retains it's value and worth.
My grandma had a half brother that died in the 1950’s (single and childless). Mom is an only child and so am I. So it is just me going through things.
One of these days I will send my husband to watch mom, so dad and I can finally decide what we are keeping and then everything else can finally be packed out. My parents are getting ready to sell grandma’s place so the timeline is going to speed up soon! 😄
I'm glad the good outweighed the bad, and you had a chance to get out. Yardwork isn't my favorite, but even that can be a blessing rather than being left to your own thoughts when there's a lot going on.
It looks like your grandma had great taste!
I hope you have many more "more good than bad" days, my friend.
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Yeah, yard work is definitely a chore. But it was so nice to be outside and for it to finally be warm. Plus you can see the results of your work which is nice. And the bees haven’t woken up quite yet… after they are around no more digging in the plants for me! 😂
!LOL I don't blame you. I wouldn't go near anything with bees or wasps. 😆
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Glad you seem to be hanging in there Dfinn. Nice new vehicle
It’s weird right now, cause it is kind of the calm before the storm in terms of when the sh-t is really going to hit the fan. I am probably using a healthy amount of denial to trick me into feeling fine.
Phil found the car when we were in Vegas. He kept texting me photos and info, but told the guy he wanted to wait til I was back to decide. Phil’s wanted a jeep for years. This one is a few years old (2021) but had less than 20,000 miles. So we got a good deal and it is still partially under warranty.
I’m glad you had a chance to enjoy a Sunny weekend @dfinney!😎
The Hubby looks like he is enjoying the new car!😊
Low tide looks beautiful, it’s so nice to live close to the bay!🤗
Hubby is obsessed with his car. We used to rent them on our vacations. Now he lives vacation life daily. 😄
That’s so nice!🤗
It’ll also be awesome in the winter time !😊
It's wonderful to hear that despite the challenges you've been facing with your family, you were able to find moments of joy and productivity this weekend. Cleaning out your grandmother's condo, tending to the rose garden, and enjoying a sunny drive to the waterfront sound like the perfect balance of tasks and relaxation. It's great that you had a friend join you for the condo cleaning - support from loved ones can make all the difference during difficult times. The new car looks really great.
Support really does make all the difference. And yes the weekend was the perfect balance of relaxation and being productive. So it felt very well rounded.
This post put a big smile on my face.. How lovely that you had such a great weekend as you deserve that!
I think it's amazing how you're taking care of your grandmother first, and your mother and now considering to buy a bigger home for when your father needs care too. They are very lucky with you guys that you are willing (and able) to do this for them.
It's clear your gran had some nice stuff collected, I bet it feels a bit as if you're walking to a museum/thrift store where all the goodies can be found. But maybe emotional having to go through it all as well..
Your car looks amazing btw, that must be such a joy to go on road trips with that one!
Hopefully, this week will be in good spirits and another great weekend follows ;)
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Grandma, Mom & Dad all took care of me, so I guess it is my time to reciprocate. 🙂 I just hope someone will reciprocate when I am an old lady.
Grandma had lots of nice stuff. A bunch of it has fallen out of fashion though. So I hope I can find a good home for most of it. 🙂
I read "top down" but you both are still wearing shirts!?
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Wishful thinking my friend… I only said “roof down”.
We did have our pants off if that makes it better?
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That is so hard, I know because I've been there! Little by little is the best way to handle all that packing, it's going to be a tough job. I hope she's feeling comfortable, that's the most important thing.
It is super weird/sad going through the stuff that meant enough to a person to keep their whole life. And also sad cause it is a tangible piece of them. So letting go of stuff starts to feel like letting go of the person.
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The new vehicle looks fantastic. Your hubby must love it!!! It's great to hear that this past weekend brought you moments of happiness and productivity in spite of the difficulties you've been having with your family. It seems like the ideal mix of work and play to clean out your grandmother's condo, take care of the rose garden, and take a sunny trip to the coast. It's wonderful that a friend could accompany you on the condo cleaning – having the support of loved ones may be really beneficial during trying times. The new vehicle looks fantastic.
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Hubby does love it. He has been saving and researching and looking for this kind of car for like 2 years. So I am happy that he (and we) finally found one. Used, low mileage and not beat up so good all around. Plus our old car was on its last legs! So I am happy to have 2 reliable vehicles again. 😄
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Life does happen and it's good when you can find more happy than sad. Lovely pictures. Glad you had some lovely weather to enjoy as well. Thank you for sharing and have a lovely week @dfinney!🤗💜
I hope you guys got the lovely weather too! I am over all this rain. It really seems to be lingering this year. I just want endless days of sunshine through October. 😄
I am looking forward to it as well, but the super hot and humid stuff can stay far, far away. An occasional day of rain is okay too as we will need it for the plants.
Take care my friend!🤗💜
Sounds like you had an amazing weekend despite the challenges you've been facing. The sunny weather, yard work, and visit to the waterfront all sound fantastic. It's great to see you making the best of your time with your family, even in difficult circumstances. The house is really beautiful!
Keep cherishing those moments of happiness! 🌹🤗
Thank you! 🤗 Hoping the trend continues through the week.