Daddy, can we get a parrot?
The Little Lady approached me earnestly with her dangerous wide open asking eyes.
A parrot? Fuck off. I was tempted to reply. However, telling your kids to fuck off is definitely not in the good parent's handbook. A shame though, sometimes it is just what they need.
A parrot? Like a real one?
I laughed merrily as if I were wearing green pantyhose in a forest clearing and preparing to kill one of the Sheriff's men with a sharp stick.
Yes, Daddy. Pleeeeeeeeaaaaase! It would be so cool. We could teach it to say all sorts of things!!
She clasped her hands in front of her and shone her lamp-like convince Daddy eyes at me.
I don't think that's a good idea, lass?
The idea of having an actual talking bird in the house horrified me.
In my mind's eye, I could see it flying above me whilst I slept, dropping shits from its incontinent arse into my mouth and gleefully squawking Fuck off! Fuck off!
What if it caught me cracking one off on one of the vanishingly rare occasions such a thing was possible and announced it victoriously at the breakfast table?!
Daddy had a wank!! Waaaarkk. Daddy had a wank!
That would hardly do. Oh no, we couldn't have that.
No, lass. I don't think we are quite ready to have a parrot in the house. Besides, we have cats. They would probably kill it?
Hopefully, before it got to squawk around shouting that I was a night masturbator.
Aw. I really want a new pet though?
The Little Lady hung her head low in disappointment, like a girl who has just been told to fuck off.
I felt a tad bad. Sometimes being a parent feels like you are always just saying no. But we had two cats and countless fucking guppies. The idea of more pets made my arse clench.
What about a tarantula?
She said in a low voice.
I rolled my eyes upward and sighed heavily. For fuck sake?!?
Right lass. One minute you want an African Snail, the next fish, the next a stick insect. Now a tarantula?! I mean, come on, can't you ask for something realistic. Something that you actually have a chance of us saying yes to? Like another cat?
I snapped with no little exasperation.
The Little Lady seemed unphased. In fact, she lifted her face and started smiling hugely.
Really, Daddy. We can get a kitten?!?! Oh thank you, thank you!!
Her eyes shone with joy as she pranced away shouting about Daddy saying it was ok to get a kitten.
I stared after her and furrowed my brow.
Had I just been played?
Yes you may have been played, just a bit, perhaps. You know, when I was a kid, all we wanted were the sea monkeys you could order from the back of a catalog. Pffft never got them either. Well, after a kitten is much quieter, so you did alright.
Oh, yeah! You have just been played! And darn! She is good! The Little Lady is going to be dangerous when she gets older.
Start saving for a cute little car.
Better than a Lambo.
One of those neon ones that can park in a tiny tiny space!
Lol, I might have to
I got three birds, one for each of the kids. Don't do it. You will be using the F word all over the place, especially when you so how messy they are. They can be like have a pigpen, inside your house.
Scratch that. Pigs are cleaner... However, you can teach them cool words.
The cool words world be good but the rest, utilised. You are an amazing parent most obviously!!
Absolutely not. I swear I put in for a transfer to Germany so I could give them away. I only stayed in Germany for 16 months and transferred again.
I had to go anyway, but, it made me feel better thinking it was because of the three little pigs. Why do we keep buying animals that we have to clean up after? I have horses.... and they clean up their stalls. But, not an itty bitty bird?
Maybe you need to to get the Little Lady a horse?
The subject of a horse head come up with depressing regularity. I can't even get her to feed her fish so she can beat it at the idea of a horse!!!
I think you can tell her that if she can feed her fish for a month without missing a day, you may give her a chance of a kitten. Man up!! :)
Buddy of mine used to have a parrot. It would just sit in the corner and cough.
I remember one chick asking if it was sick. Buddy says no and takes a big hit from the bong. Starts coughing. Then the bird starts coughing again and doesn't stop for hours...
I don't know if they ate that thing or if it flew away or what, but it's gone now.
Hated going there because of that stupid bird. Don't get a parrot unless your desperate for annoyance.
That is quite hilarious.
I can imagine a parrot that coughed a lot in these days of covid would cause quite a stir.
I can imagine them being annoying as fuck. And I really can't begin to imagine that they would not shit all over the place!
It's so stupid. 2021 and they haven't even invented shitless pets yet. How hard could it be?
I think there a are a few microscopic mites that doesn't shit but not sure about keeping them as pets though 😂
I think we all might have enough of them without even knowing!!
I have mighty mites. They defeated the crotch crickets.
I think there might be a market for your mites!!!
If they're microscopic, I think it would be pretty hard to sew their asses shut. If that's how you do it. I don't know.
Turns out they don't have one!!
Well that's no fun!
You can't even plug them up because eventually they just explode in a big brown mess
I don't even want to ask how you managed to find that out.
I had a dog, Buster.
The name became strangely prophetic
I had a dog, Boomer.
Yeah. Sigh. There's something about those names...
I tip my hat to the Little Lady.
My bartender (in the before times) and his wife were expecting a baby. Since the wife chose the name for the first child, she allowed her husband the honour of the second.
Being from the East coast, he pondered it a moment then replied that their child shall be named Trout.
This lasted about 3 weeks until his wife snapped and exclaimed that there is no way that their child will be named Trout.
Similar to the Little Lady, he was ready ... "If we aren't going to name the child Trout, the only thing I ask is that the middle name will be Danger"
... and so it was. They had a little boy.
... and ...
The Lad (and his father) will always be able to proudly say
HEhehe!! That is splendid. It is one of the oldest tactics in the book. Ask for the insane with the second option you really want already in the bag.
I should have been more wary when she actually started saying the oldest trick in the book its obvious she has been reading a book of cunning somewhere!
LOLLOLOLOLOLOL...
You know... they really surprise us like that in real life!
"Hey dady... stop playing cents with your HIVE accounts... here is my crypto portfolio!!!! 😨" kind of thing...
I dread the day that starts! Although it would be nice to have someone else in the house that understood crypto a bit!
It will come don't worry... ranging from below 10 years old.... just wait for it if that's the case!
I will await it with a combination of hope and fear 🤣🤣
Hahaha reverse psychology, that little lady is smart. It is good to always start the negociation with something so absurd so that you can get the yes to what you really want. She executed the plan masterfully. Hihi, smart dad, smart girl
I like birds, never had one, but I have heard that they can be pretty noisy
I never even thought of the starting point being something absurd so it can be negotiated down. Damn, its so obvious now!
Sod birds, I can imagine that mess absolutely everywhere!
Yup, messy and smelly. It can only justify if you buy a parrot and make him an account so he could at least pay for its own food😂 And maybe become super popular in the same time. CryptoParrot lol
Ask her if she wants something that's orange and sounds like a parrot. If she says yes, get her a carrot. Problem solved.
Hahahaha, you know. I am going to do that. She will totally fall for it 🤣🤣
Reminds me our pigeon story !1
Oh no, a pigeon would be even worse than a parrot. They definitely just spend the whole time making a mess!!
Good that, they were just outside the windows, but kids are no more asking - heart broken - https://peakd.com/hive-127788/@sanjeevm/there-is-an-evil-every-where
Ouch, that's awful. I have seen a seagull do stuff like that but another pigeon. Yeek
Especially put in a 100% vote for @ctime https://peakd.com/@ctime/posts
I want that asshole to downvote my post soon ;)
Aw, yer a champ! :0D
Haha.., yeah you've just been played! Would you have taught Percy Parrot.. 'Fuck off! Fuck off!'?
I admit. If I had a parrot I would probably spend a ridiculous amount of time teaching it naughty words them acting innocent :0D
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Seeing that picture, and reading the story, at first I thought that you bought an owl instead of a parrot. :D
Some people like to keep owls. I prefer a Harris's hawk.
I wouldn't mind an owl and I would love a hawk. When I was looking for pictures I couldn't get any good parrot ones. Had to go owl! You got a hawk?
Yes, I had a female Harris's hawk.
She died on February 18-19 (during the night/dawn).
I bought her from a breeder.
I will buy another one in the upcoming weeks.
The breeder already have freshly hatched Harris's hawk chicks, he just cannot tell their gender yet, because it is not visible yet. The difference between the male and the female will be visible two weeks later. The female is 40% bigger than the male.
Aw that's a shame. Must be quite intensive keeping them? There are wild ones nearby in the local woods here, always am impressive sight seeing them soar about looking for prey
It is actually the world's most peaceful feeling. At least for me.
I used to sleep with my bird in the night (the bird slept on me, laying down), and the bird could sit all day on my arm during the day.
You can teach a Harris's hawk to fly to your arm by calling him/her by whistling during feeding in 3-4 weeks.
After that time you call him/her to your arm without feeding.
He/she will know that you are calling him/her, and he/she will fly to your arm.
I used to fed her both with hands and on my arm.
When I came home, she often flied to my arm without calling.
She was very happy, when I came home.
At first, they need to be fed three times a day.
When they grow up, it is enough to feed them once a day.
I fed her mostly pigeons and chickens.
Harris's hawks are very smart and fast learners.
And they can love you very strongly.
That's pretty impressive! Could do with one patrolling my garden just to keep the wood pigeons at bay!
I found that with a good pet/animal that it can be ones of the most relaxing things. I am sure there have been studies on it
You sir, have just been served! Roll over and receive a belly tickling!
Soon there will be a full litter, and the beer posts in the garden will involve mucho mierda dodging :D
Hahaha, I can see it now. My beautiful grass all caked in it. Aiyee, there are too many animals already. I can't cope, it's me that has to clean everything!!!
Part of the deal should be some cleaning assistance from the little lady.
A pink poop scoop and gloves might help, for 5 minutes at least!
Pfft. She promises the world until it materialises. I can't even get her to feed her fish which should be piss easy!
Yeah, if that is the case it does indeed look like you are on shite-shoveling duty!
Manky pets. Yeurch. Seems them all to the fire I say!!
Hahaha, yep, you've been played. Well a kitten added to the family, not that bad. :-)
I think I can just about handle a little kitten. Just... :0D
"Okay, one kitten, but that is absolutely the final one, no more anikals after that!"
Somehow I can relate to that. Drawing the line somewhere. And yet...
The last time I even offered to get two myself. Because there would be one left behind. The people who were to adopt it thought it would not go well with the color of their couch. Felt so sorry for the little cat that we went home with two. :-)
And then the ladies also wanted a dog...
Stepped my foot down, kept it there, hah!
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Maybe a great World move, starts with a little action!!
https://hive.blog/life/@hermansanchezg/campaign-donate-food-to-needy-people-on-the-street
My sister has a conure. Temperamental little thing. I still kinda like her, though. Same for the bird.