Daddy, is it ok if I ask you something?
The Little Lady looked at me and chewed her lips somewhat nervously as if she had killed a pig at school and forgot to bring home the bacon.
Of course you can, darling. You can ask me anything!
I threw my hands to the side magnanimously. Being part of the Amazing Parent club meant I could do this up to three times a day without fear of censure.
You know the School Christmas concert? Well, parents who can play an instrument are invited to come along and play.
She tossed me a beseeching smile.
So, if you are free on Monday, can you come to the rehearsal? I told them you were amazing.
She poked me with a finger and chuckled.
Hot flaming shits?! What? What was this? A School Concert? Parents to bang away at random instruments in the background to a gaggle of kids screeching? I did not like the sound of this one little bit.
Um, I suppose I could? What songs are you singing? Is there any info I could have in advance?
I tried to sound as if it wasn't a big deal and I wasn't shitting my pants at the thought of going in cold and playing random songs that I didn't know.
Oh, I can't remember the songs. Wait, one of them is Believer! Can you play that?
She started hopping from foot to foot and singing the word Believer over and over again to no discernible tune.
Hmm. I am not sure that I am familiar with that one. Have you seen any other parents doing it? Did they get like told what to play? Chords or something?
I felt a cold and clammy fear sweat trickle down my back as if I was sitting on a plane at 40,000 feet and it looked like something was on the wing tearing at the engine.
Oh, you mean the music? Yes! There are music sheets! Don't worry about that. I said you could read music perfectly.
With that, she trotted off still singing the one word Believer over and over again.
I gulped. Music? Like sheet music? I couldn't read music. I was a fucking guitarist. Sheet music was for wankers. Everyone knew that?!
Didn't they?
At that moment the Good Lady entered the room and stopped as she saw my face.
What's up with you? You look a bit deflated.
She gave me a bit of a kick as that is obviously well-known as the best way to gee up anyone out of any medical condition.
The Little Lady has asked me to go along to her School Christmas Choir thing and play guitar with some other parents.
I tried to smile but my face just wobbled a bit.
You love playing guitar! That will be amazing!
The Good Lady clucked happily as if she could sense that the next egg popping out of her fanjasm was going to be a hassle-free slider.
Yeah but I don't know what we are playing. The Little Lady said there would be sheet music?!
I tried not to wail but my voice rose up at the end like a vengeful ghost's penis.
So, what is wrong with that? I mean surely you can read sheet music. You play the guitar don't you?
Her tone was dismissive as if I were one of many husbands and perhaps if I displeased her I would be thrown to the dogs. Of course I can't read sheet music?! I am a fucking Guitarist. Why would a guitarist ever want to read sheet music? I am not fucking Beethoven, I don't play the fucking oboe?! I flailed a hand out to a nearby guitar which clanged quietly in agreement. Oooooo is this a chip on your shoulder? Is this something that bothers you? The Good Lady gleamed with pounciness as if finally after all these years sensing a weakness that she could work on until I broke into a million pieces. No, only wankers read sheet music and I, lady, am not a wanker. I emphasised my point with a sulky hmmph. She crooked an eyebrow. Oh well, better get wanking, Monday isn't far off. She stepped away humming Believer as she went. I grunted unhappily. Fucking sheet music. Who on earth reads sheet music?
and not the good dogs either.
*Note to anyone reading this who reads music. You are not a wanker. Not really.
Yeahhhhh about that.
Not the same... NOT THE SAME 😂
Welp... I suppose your in for a shitstorm! Might as well jump in headfirst😝😝
Strongs with that one though😁😜 I'm sure you'll be the star of the show😎
Not the same at all!
If it doesn't go well I will just get all fight. It's what we Scots do if things are going wrong :OD
Laughs the fuck out loud!
I can imagine you swinging your fists about covering a Scottish accent!
You'd certainly end up the mad parent around school talks 😂
I would be one mad parent among many. We are a ridiculous lot, lol!
What if they do read sheet music and also love wanking? 🤔
You gotta just make it up as you go along and Google the tabs when you get there! What the hell is believer though? Either way, don't stop believing....
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Good, what will I be getting myself into of I go along and there is just a separate room full of parents masturbating over their instruments!!
I shall be duty bound to join in though pleasure it gives me not. 🤣🤣
That brother thing is shit. It's by imagine dragons but the kids doing a big choir kids version. It's still shit though!
Man those are some dragons we don't want to believe in. Let's hope you don't have to join the wanking chorus lol.
Not a bad song, gave it a listen should be fun. My kid had a 2000 theme concert and her class performed, no scrubs and I feel like a women. I think that teacher has some unresolved issues! So I would take the imagine dragons song any day!
Hahaha, yes it almost seems like there was a subtext with those songs!
I think it will be good. There has to be more than one song and I am sure there will be a gaggle of parents fannying about beaming at their kids with pride!
Hahaha as long as the little lady is having a blast it's worth. Daddy can guitar sync. It's like lip syncing but you pretend strum instead of moving your lips lol...
I think I can pull that off :0)
You'll do great, just look the songs up online, listen to them, then do your best??? Your little one will be happy regardless :)
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If I only knew what the songs were I would be happy to do that!
I will be fine though, I can wing it with the best of them :0)
I know you'll do fine :) But next time, have her confirm the songs 😂
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I was hoping right up till now that she would have as brainwave and remember some but alas, no!!
😂 I hope you are having fun there!
Lol. I have ruined up and waiting to go!
Best of luck!
All I was thinking about reading the title was the song from Shrek "I'm a believer". Wrote this down before reading the post.. Let's see how it develops lol.
Haha not far off! I believe in you man. Monday has come and gone, how was the torture?! Surely you took a crash course in sheet music because you have to read sheet music as a guitarist amirite?!
Haha, that song might have been better!!
It went better than I thought, It was funny too, I will have to post it. Fortunately there was no sheet music!!
I can imagine you've been practicing and can play the song to perfection now! Oh, sheet music. I played a variety of instruments in school throughout the years and during my last two years of high school marching band I mostly faked my way through playing the clarinet by ear. My enthusiasm for marching in funny (and smelly) costumes during football games and ridiculed by the "cool kids" just wasn't there anymore. Lol. Good luck to you! You will slay it.
Oh lordy, I can imagine that marching being a hard one to keep the enthusiasm up for!
I dug out my older spraying l acoustic and gave it a still or two and feel infinitely better about faking it :0)
Marching band was okay until I discovered girls.
Lol, it'll be fun then. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!
A big merry Christmas to you dude when it comes!
Thank you my friend!
I can read sheet music XD I am extremely rusty though x_x
And treble clef takes me much, much longer to remember as the last instrument I played was bass.
It's not that hard, there's a couple of mnemonics to help remember what note is where
And if you're really stuck you can always ask for the sheet music and convert it :D
Easy right :D
Or you know figure out what the actual song is and someone on the internet will have done tabs for it XP
How did you go?
Haha, I knew FACE and Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge! But the others? Good grief!!
I am pretty certain I can wing it. I just wish the little lady works give me something to work on! I asked her again this morning and she was like, oh, I can never remember what we sing. I am like come on man!!!
It's on Monday, so I can put it out of my mind till then 😀
I read music!! Im sorry!! I didn't want to learn! Piano, flute and piccolo.
Jump in and act cool. Shake that booty. The little lady will be so excited!
Believe!
If all else fails, claim the wrist is sprained. You could sit with a twisted ankle!
I knew it!! Another one. It seems like everybody is reading it!!
I will just have to listen and pick out what is happening. Although I am hopeful that they might have some chords laid out somewhere!
The spraining will be the backup of the last resort 🤣🤣
Well this wanker does read music thanks to classical guitar lessons as a kid. As kids manage to learn it then it can't be that hard, but I know a lot of guitarists seem scared of the dots. It can be useful now and then, but I don't use that skill all the time.
I hope there will be a video of you and your towering Marshall Stack soloing over whatever the song actually is. I'm hoping for this one.
#WANKER 😆
I've been called worse. As Woody Allen said, 'Masturbation is sex with someone I love'.
I'm sorry... did I actually type that.. damn fingers never listen..
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Noooooo!!! You read it? Dangnabbit. I have tried in the past but it always seemed to difficult.
I get the very basics but I have always mugged by on tabs or chords. I guess I will have to watch others and jam along.
Unless I do crack out the marshalls! :OD
I've even played some piano where you have to read two lots of music and the notes are not quite the same on each. It's one of those things that you just have to work on and I don't do it enough to be fluent. I struggle a bit on reading rhythms. Of course if I hear the tune first then it's not so bad. Complicated music will be hard to play anyway.
For stuff I do with the band I mostly just have chord charts and I simplify some of the complex chords.
Yeah, I can work with a chord chart and I am pretty good at improvising. As long as it isn't something crazy.
I am in awe of you my fine music reading sophisticate!
I try to keep up with my theory knowledge but sadly not the notation part!
I'm sure that this MUST be the song "Believer" that she was referring to. Yup ... perfect for Christmas.
Oh god!! That's it!! Lord, She just keeps singing "Believer" over and over and it is this.
I mean, how the feck is this Christmassy and how the feck is this meant to have a tune that you could follow along on guitar?!
Aiyee, this is gonna be suck!
If you were to play the piano notes (not chords), I think you'd be picking instead of strumming - sounds very basic, but monotonous - and that would likely be driving the tempo of the whole thing... So, lets assume the instructor is playing the piano..
Listening to it, I think you should volunteer to be the percussionist.
But, there is an underlying clap track and a separate snap track.
Better yet ... be their early, get a list of all the songs and see if there's one that requires chords....
I will mime, ha! That will learn em. I will mime whilst watching out for some other player and copy them before starting to let the sound loose!
I could always take up my bongo. Hit it a few times and no one would dare say anything in case they looked racist! :OD
And now I've listened to it again. at 1:26, they break out the spoons.
I think you should give those kids a lesson - alway listen closely... Then carefully choose the easiest path ... sort of - Spoons can be tricky at a certain level.
The best part is when you find out this isn't the version of Believer that they will be playing.
As soon as I even saw the thumbnail I thought, this lady is going to know how to spoon. And she did. Although one must question why, why!!!
Once half of your teeth fall out, singing is out of the question... so then you grab a pair of spoons. 😂
Even when she slowed it down to show us how she's doing it, I couldn't keep up. She's definitely very talented!!!
Hello Mr. @meesterboom I'm sure it will be a magnanimous Monday and his fan in love with his dad (his daughter) will be so happy to see him perform with his guitar in the best style of Believer, I've been there for a while with my daughters' girls and even sing I did without being the best, you know what was the best gift? Seeing my daughters' faces with their smiles and the satisfaction of having the best mom in the world. Well, that will be your beautiful Christmas gift, the pride that your daughter feels in a big smile that is my dad's "my hero" guitarist.
If it was any other song that I knew I might feel a bit better. I am hoping that there are more traditional ones out there rather than bang bang clap bang bang clap.
She will hopefully be proud. And also hopefully not see my red face!
I assure you that your daughter's eyes will shine like a star because of how proud she is of her daddy and when she is an adult she will always love that great moment of her childhood with her daddy the great guitarist of that Monday before Christmas. Oh! And practice plan B: Santa Claus is coming to town.🎅🌲👏🙌
Haha, I have already been practicing All I want for Christmas is you because I think it is quite a catchy tune!
Always good to have a plan B!
🎅🙌 yayyyyy
:0)
https://www.virtualsheetmusic.com/score/HL-393747.html
Get on with it you miserable git. We're all hoping for a full blown 'Love Actually' moment here!
Funny thing is, I can read music, I could just never coordinate brain and hands to match up on any instrument I tried to learn.....and I AM a wanker, so it appears your conjecture wasn't too wide of the mark!
I also thought it said 'Belieber' as I scrolled the feeds. That would have been bad...
You are obviously an axe hero to your daughter and I bet she's told all the kids and all the teachers how incredible you are. I'd imagine they're going to make you parent's school band leader too, perhaps even a photo on the school wall.
No pressure then.
I'd hate to imagine that little girls face if Daddy let's her down...
No pressure!! Lol!
Oh god, look at that!! It has the chords on it!!!! Hallelujah! I am saved. If it all has the chords on it I will be there and be a guitar god at the same time. Although I believe there is technically a limitation as to how much of a guitar god you can be by playing an acoustic. I might look a bit of a spanner turning up with my half flying V Jackson guitar though. :OD
I fucking knew asI was writing this that there would be a million hivers all shouting. I can read sheet music! !LOL
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Ooooo...a real Jackson Flying V ? That's impressive Sir! Go forth and thrash!
True. Its all a bit Cum Bye Ya...
It is indeed, well, nearly. It is a Randy Rhoads series one with one of the Vs shorter than the other, I think it looks cool as feck but I can also see it being way over the top and it is hard as hell to sit and practice with!
Much prefer that than the acoustic right enough!
Hm, we shouldn't embarrass any musician if he can't read music sheets, the guitar itself is an instrument full of thrill. Wanker must be proud as a guitarist because this is a lovely instrument of music.
I am very embarassed at my shortcomings! One day I can hope to be a wanker but til then I retain my cool! :OD
Current pop music makes me cringe.
I know how to read sheet music but it takes some time getting used to, on the uke.
For now I prefer tabs. Funny enough, during two years of classical guitar lessons, I hardly learnt chords, merely tabs and so called string walkers, so I yet have a lot to learn in the chords area.
That plus being left handed and playing right handed. We aren't all Rafael Nadals.
I wish you luck.
I prefer tabs! Tabs work for me. Everything nice and clear!
Current pop music is just so samey and the over production makes me feel quite ill when I listen to it. Can you imagine it live? It would be rubbish!
Being left handed and playing right handed must take a lot of grit!
I really like tabs too. They are more visual to me than these ( music ) 'notes', way easier to follow.
It does but I never shy away from a good challenge ;<)
The sign of greatness is never shying from a good challenge!
I vaguely remember being prodded into reading sheet music in school, .. needless to say, I failed that subject. 🙃😃
There are some failures in life it is fine to be happy about!
Hohoo...you have the opportunity of becoming even more of a legend in the mind of your daughter. Fake it till you make it and blame any discordance on the other parents lol. Reading sheet music is akin to reading and writing Chinese...it just doesn't make sense to me.
Fake it till you make it. Exactly the mantra I will be following when this happens. I am sure my old cocky habits will come back to save me. I can't help but being an arse when the occasion demands it! :0)
You really made me smile, pity that the translation I can do is not perfect... however I would dwell on the fact that daughters always win eh eh!
Daughters do always win!! It is a fact!!
I think most translation software might struggle with my writing 🤣🤣
But you don't write very well! Except that the original is always better than the translation every language has its nuances. That's a daughter always wins eh eh!
I agree, it's all about the nuances when writing and that is the but that sometimes escapes a machine translation.
I am happy to get the gist over that the daughter always wins 😀
Sheet music is the devil. Never trust anyone who can read sheet music. That should be a motto. Ultimate guitar tab will have you in good steed unless the bastards change it for a kids play. 🤣 . Rather you than me mate.
Ultimate guitar is my go-to thing!!
I see people reading sheet music and I think there is devilry afoot!!
Too right. I did try once.., remembering the notes and keys (keyboard) was waaayy.. easier.., so I did that.
Yeah, remembering is way better!!
I always think when I see people reading and playing piano that surely they would be better learning the piece off by heart! Be
That's just my jealous side of course 😀
Only if you can remember, I can't remember anything!
Yeah, that is the tricky bit. Bloody memory. I am lucky I can find my way out of the house with trousers on!
Are we talking Believer ca. 1991? (skip to 1:00)
Or Believer ca. 2011?
Wahahaha!! Either is those would be fine. Might mean towards the 2011 one!! Far better than the kids reimagined version of Imagine dragons!
I imagine dragons would denounce, and then devour, that pretentious band.
Haha, oh lovely word play! I do think you are correct in that!
I read your complete post. I think believe is main thing in our life you can believe in own your self to become a perfect man. This lady voice is but still singing in balcony. I love to listen sad music every night in my balcony and never remember sad things of my life. Hahaha this story is to much funny. no one win against his wife. Thanks for sharing with us.
Than you for reading. Truly it is better to focus on the happy things than the sad!!
I can read the titles of sheet music and the rest of the things with little tails, dots and other funny signs are all Spanglish to me. So I suppose that makes me a part wanker :D
Besides, if I hear a tune I can play it and who wants to read a sheet that's got the alphabet mixed up. It is blasphemy against the alphabet to note F flat and G minor and such things.
I do like to play things as I hear them. It is much better. Its the dots and all that that get me. I am like really, what now?
Give me tabs and chords and even nothing but playing along and I am happy!
Soo here's a tip. You go up there and pose in the background like old slow hand Eric Clapton.
Then when the band starts to make a noise, you strum your git fluently, swinging and shaking your body like a rock star.
I think the rock act shake will be a bit difficult to do on "Mary had a little lamb", but I know that you can improvise. So go out there and hope to get the main photo on the schools notice board.
Imagine how proud your little missus will be of her rock star daddy :)
Btw. You brought all of this extra pressure on yourself scotty and maybe it is time to fake an ankle or a wrist sprain :D
Hahaha, I did bring it all on myself. I could have just said no!
I couldn't refuse her though. I think I will go for the swaying and the shaking like a rock star. No one will be able to hear me as I will be strumming so softly. Deliberately softly!
Of course, the wrist sprain will be a fall back plan!
Hahaha, only joking and of course you will go like a brave and hip dad to support your little blessing.
I might have to dig out the leather. Lol!
Leather it will have to be, just don't go and jump around on the stage there in a scottish skirt. !LOL
Hahaha! I think my brother can read some sheet music, but only because he played the trumpet. All of his guitaring has been self taught for sure!
Oooh, today is the day isn't it??
Lol, it was indeed. I must jot down how it was. It was peculiar to say the least!
Thank you for your witness vote!
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No need for that disclaimer at the end. If a person can read sheet music then they already know they're a wanker..
Thats normally how I apologise!
Haha, my disclaimer is like those ones by the shillers. Not financial advice, blah blah when it blatantly is!
I think reading note would affect your performence in a negative way 😁
I absolutely agree, in fact I think attempting to read anything whilst playing would throw me way off track!!
Hi @meesterboom ,conclusion it scares you to be in front of a group of children hahaha, if you know how to play the guitar just rehearse with the other parents in the choir, come on man don't be intimidated by a bunch of children and their parents hahaha.
I believe in you :)
Haha, that's the plan, the rehearsals thing.
Deep down I fear nothing. At least so I tell myself 🤣🤣
I'm here after 3 long years, I'm happy to see that you are still posting on the regular basis and never left the platform, love your dedication. will try to understand the story you are writing now a days.
Hello mate, long time no see. Glad that you too are still about!!! :0)
Boom go up there and do your best Eddie Van Halen playing Eruption imitation, just be certain to have your pickups at zero. No one will know!
Haha, can you imagine!!!
If only. I have been instructed to dig out the acoustic. It's a loud bastard even if you pay softly softly which I will be doing!!
So did you figure out the song in the end or are you still in the dark about it? Sounds like your wife figured it out.
Still in the dark really. I know that Believer is one although listening to it I have no idea how as it is just drums and clapping.
I dare say it will be easy enough. Still gives me the slight fear though!!
I see. Well good luck 👍
I will need it. Or I will mime. I have few morals 😜
Lol...you'll never win against your ladies...that's for sure
I don't and I must say, I am a happy man for that! :0)
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At first i just seen as like different writing. It was well. Different thinking about writing.
It's more different than you could ever imagine!! :0)
It was just out of my low mind. But understood special.
Well thank you very much 😀