Words

in #outofthinair2 months ago (edited)

Play tension. Head on a swivel, know what eye mean? I in the back of your head is behind us now, that's so0Ooo 20th century. With all the tech and media at our finer tips, dick canaries and sir engines, choose wisely—words.


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I've had two real-life people I thought would be there til the end trip out on me over nothing in recent years. One had been a part of my life for 20 years, saw me through my divorce—puking, couldn't sleep or eat, horrible, but Hopper had my back. Held my hand like a good brother.

The other is Philip, more than 40 years we were tight—paternal bond. Met him on the football field; junior all-American, we were seven years old that day.

Both are over a misunderstanding, too, I think. Or at least I'm pretty sure. I've been on radio silence with both now going on seven years for Hop and four with Phil.

Virtual strangers trip out on me over nothing more often than not if you can believe that, people I've never even met. I chalk that up to less misunderstanding and more they can't take a #joke. Unfollow - ignore - smash every button They can find like a toddler in a whack-a-mole tournament.


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Hopper and Philip, however, man, those hurt. Lost any friends you thought would be around forever? Not a day goes by I don't think about those guys and wish them the best. I hope they're well. I hear Philip's in Idaho now, he and his daughter share the same birthday, how cool is that?! No idea where Hopper is or if he's even alive.


We were supposed to meet up at a football game back in 2017; Hopper and his wife, Ms. C, along with myself and Pura. Broncos vs Redskins. I don't think they're called Redskins anymore but that's who they were back then.

2017 was an eventful year, glad it's over. That weekend, the football game one, was particularly challenging.

My leg went out for the last time that year. My Union wouldn't let me go back to work—liability. I was in and out of medical facilities and attorney's offices, hunting down past medical documents from Los Angeles to DC, it was stressful. I was looking forward to that football game, something he and I had done several times previously—meet up for a Broncos game in whatever state they were playing. Had plane tickets and the room booked months in advance.

We were living on the road at the time. Pura and I were shacked up in an RV - traveling state to state - chasing all the overtime jobs. Leg went out - couldn't work - trying to support us with medical professionals telling me my career's over.

I was 41.

No idea what to do. Never been there before. Saying goodbye to everything I knew was a mind fuck. No one to ask. Me and Pura were lost, didn't plan for that, how can you? But, at least there was the football game. We were looking forward to it.

Hadn't seen Hopper since the previous year when we met in Denver to watch the Broncos play the Chiefs. We'd talk about it weekly. With each win or loss the Broncos tallied on Sunday, we built a little more hype in anticipation of our game.

The week before that game, it was Monday, the Monday before that Sunday but, really, Saturday, our plane departed from San Francisco Saturday morning. On Monday before that Saturday, the RV park we were set up at, suffered extensive storm damage. I remember thinking we were going to float off into the Pacific. By the time the rain stopped, about 1/3 of the RV park was under water—no energy and plenty of sewage overflow.

All kinds of bad.

We pulled out as soon as we could. Unhooking, unplugging, unleveling, packing and unpacking, it's not a simple task. Takes a couple days. Meanwhile, Pura's calling all over the place trying to secure a spot. We were in California, the Bay Area, trying to secure an RV spot in the Bay Area without a reservation is like finding a loaded semi truck without Chinese merch.

A spot was opening up in Halfmoon Bay—coastal campground west of The City. It wouldn't be available until Saturday—the day of our departure.

We parked the RV in the parking lot of a 24 Hour Fitness gym, they've since gone belly up due to Covid. We'd stay there, use the gyms facility's, make the best of it for a couple days but, all things considered, the football game was no longer an option.

I ended up eating those tickets. No big deal, can't even remember what they cost now. It sucked, I remember that.

I dreaded breaking the news to Hopper, made me ill. We'd attended a handful of games together previously, this one was out of my hands.

Hasn't spoken to me since.


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And Philip! Man!! That one's even lamer, the worst, check this out—Bible verse I sent him back in 2020. Group message, him and like three other people. I read that verse as concrete evidence Covid is rigged. Still do. I dig that about the Bible—open for interpretation.

Anyhoo, he calls me like an hour later, I'm on the treadmill, completely lost his shit.

Too excited, could hardly articulate his words, flippin out on me about how dare I message him that early in the morning, yata yata, he wakes up early. If it ain't Gavin Newsome or football don't bother him and whatever else he said.

:click:

He hung up on me - earbuds turned back on - continue treadmill goes me. Later that evening he called me.

He was apologetic. Said he overreacted, didn't get much sleep, work has him stressed out and whatever else but I've known that dude since 1983, fuck him! His panties were in a wad over who knows what and that Bible verse threw him over the edge. Rather than ignore it or rebuke me with scientific evidence supporting Covid, he flipped out and then called me to save face.

Don't trip, I took you off the group message.

I did—simple fix, I thought. No big deal.

He called me a :cough: 'female dog.' I hate that word.

You don't have be a 'female dog' about it.

Alright, so here comes the misunderstanding part which Pura just brought to my attention, by the way, a couple weeks ago, nearly four years later. Hence the idea for this article. I said:

I got enough people in my life who treat me like family.

Hear me out. When Pura asked me what the deal is with he and I and I told her that, she said "you know what that sounds like, right?"

I did not..


What I meant by that was, the people who share my DNA have caused me more pain than good and I'm over it like discord. When I said that I meant maternal, not chosen family like him.

I think now since Pura brought it to my attention, he misunderstood me. That's unfortunate. I've since left him messages, even voicemails which is something I rarely do if EVER and still send emails on his birthday.

:crickets:

Maybe it's just me. I am the common denominator here. Has anyone you thought was ride or die dismissed you eternally over a misunderstanding?

One foot in front of the other, I guess. Keep on keepin on or however it goes. It's tough not to look back every once in a while. Even tougher than that is getting past it when you're not really sure what happened.


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It happens at those moments in life when you're too focussed on looking in the rear-view mirror on the wide road through life. Instead, keep your eyes on the road ahead. Maybe you'll come to a crossroads that can lead you to what you've been looking back for.

Been writing a long time? I just scrolled your page, not sure how we've missed each other.

I didn't expect to read that today and I'm glad I did. Love it when things work out the way they're supposed to.
Thank you.

not sure how we've missed each other ...

This is almost in line with what I left you as my assessment.
It will appear on the horizon without falling into useless activities beforehand - the day that will not only bring light into the darkness, but also make one or two questions obsolete. That's probably why the crossroads of life and the future were invented. 🤔😉
When it comes to our chance encounter, we can only say: " Let's see what the future holds."

Nice Graffitis bro, din't about this community tng. Cheers. ⚡⚡

Hey whaddup! Not sure we've meet. Thanks for finding me. That tag is just a tag, not a community. I've been using ot since before communities were a thing.

Use it! I'll keep an eye out. = }

For sure bro, i make Graffitis and always doing any art thing haha.

Count me in. I was just checking out this piece you did. Can't understand any of it but art is universal. Cool crossing paths with you.

Ya, My bad oy did on spanish. It is about womens day and My actual works. Other ones are more. StreetArt.

Mm, ooh, uhm, that was satire. I got a helluva translator. Damn words! = }

Thats unfollow hit right in the 💔 haha. Cheers broski.

Interesting piece.

Thoughtful comment.

It's a pitty that the people from your maternal side treat you badly.. be strong dear.. everyone must not love you. That's reality.
Though I think majority of people are loved by their maternal family more than their paternal family.. it's well

Hello. I should probably stop saying it, sounds female doggy.

Win some, lose some... Nah, that sounds female doggy, too. Got dang words!!

I'm sorry to read about those two friendships growing apart.. I can imagine that sometimes these things can feel a bit strange and later in life you may see yourself wondering what the f happened exactly. I've been there myself.. With my best friend for years so I kind of know a bit how it feels..

I hope maybe you guys get to re-unite at some point and laugh about what happened.. look back how silly things went and how it's not worth the shit and friendships are worth more than that.

I've learned that you are a decent guy and I would like to see a positive ending to this story in the future!

!PIMP it sir!


You must be killin' it out here!
@thisismylife just slapped you with 5.000 PIMP, @dandays.
You earned 5.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 2/3 possible people today.

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Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District

Did you see Nathen's comment about the physical / mental thing? I don't think I need to remind anyone...

Forget I asked if it's none of my business but go ahead and elaborate what happened between you two if it is my business. = }

I would like that.

Thank you. I'm not that bad.

Nope, didn't read it until you just mentioned it. I think it could be true and I also know that mental health can surely cause people to grow apart.

In fact, since you asked, the situation with my best friend for many years happened after I gave birth to my first daughter. I was not in a good place being under the spell of a toxic psycho as the baby daddy and I could not even get myself to appear at her wedding because I was heavily post partum depressed.

My so called supporting partner (sarcasm lol) made sure to make the bridge between us even bigger and put me in a bad spot. A few years later, I reached out to her and we both agreed it was all under the spell of bad hormones and in a toxic relationship, no grudges and it seemed we'd continue where we left off for a bit.. until it didn't. Our lives had grown apart too much but at least it gave me some closure, which was good.

I wish you the same. We can all be dickheads and make mistakes, if we own up to them and learn from them, we should deserve a second chance if the friendship was worthy.

I know you're not that bad, and even if so, everyone messes up, I sure know I did many many times. In the end we live and learn ..

Keep trying if you feel there's a chance to get some closure, but surely don't let this overtake you in a bad way because then it's clearly not worth it or just not the right time.

<3

I think you fucked up with Phil. Because you were close, he felt comfortable to tell you how he truly felt about the message. He rang back to genuinely apologise and you'd immediately kicked him from the group messages?!

I'm just being honest, telling it to you as an outsider who thinks you're a top, online geezer.

Go build bridges mate. I feel you'd be back close in an instant.

The other guy? Complete selfish knobhead. Not worth your time.

Hope recovery is slow but sure and Pura's health is holding up.

Take it easy fella and make that call.

Bible quotes indeed lol

Yeah I think so too.

A couple days ago after I heard what I said from a neutral perspective, I rang a third dude, he's been there all 40 years as well.

He had a different opinion, knows everyone perfectly, said he knew exactly what he was doing when he threw out that B word. Described his personality but he used a specific adjective doing so that I'd rather not repeat.

I agree with you, though.

I'm gonna keep trying. Part of me wants to get this piece to him.

Another part wants to stfu about it.

Thanks for keeping up with me this long, M. Always look forward to what you have to say.

Just don't let it eat you, mate. Being stuck in the house, not as mobile gets dull, the mind wanders and suddenly shit like this starts spinning around in your head.

As I've said before. Physical and mental health are intrinsically linked so be aware.

Take it easy :-)

Damn your profoundness!

Edit
I mean, do you have WhatsApp? Oops, words.

Don't the kids call that ghosting? I've had a few friends do that but most of them have reappeared after a while. The only one that hasn't yet I suspect his old lady is responsible, we used to smoke and then go looking for fights together, so it's hard to imagine him getting mad about something and not say it to my face.

I thought that was skipping court.

I've had that happen too. Not vanish but unfortunately, yeah, I've had friends distance their self from me for however long they were dating so in so.

Wapoosh!

'Bench warrant' are the only words I associate with skipping court. Plus that never seems to be very permanent.

Always a good sign when you see that noise.

You think you know someone until you don't. This post touched a sore nerve, got me upset, had me wondering once again, and had me say out loud, fuck you. The fuck you is not directed at you but at the guy who lives across the street. Best friend for over 40 years. Along with my sons, we built his house. turned him onto the property he bought. He stayed with us along with his beautiful wife, at the farm, every summer when we had off. We fed him. The standing joke was that when we both finally retired, he owed us 1850 meals and Robin would not have to cook for years. He retired early on, 7 years before us. During that time he got heavily involved with the American Legion in town and made some new friends. When we finally joined him in retirement and moved to the farm, it was almost like he couldn't be bothered with us. I think he paid us back two meals and still owes us 1,848.
To this day we just don't get it. His wife says that he has turned into a grumpy old man.
Even though we live right across the street from him, I don't think we've spoken more than a dozen times. I still see him at the party we have once a year with all of the guys we taught with, but that's it. We had big plans to vacation together and enjoy each other's company for many years. The situation used to bother me but hasn't for several years now. His wife is still the best and we see her quit often when she stops in. Robin and her are still best of friends.

Last week he drove by on his quad as I was standing at the foot of the driveway. He was nice enough to say howdy, fuck him. The whole situation still upsets Robin very much.

(trying to secure an RV spot in the Bay Area without a reservation is like finding a loaded semi-truck without Chinese merch.)

I'm glad to see that you're sense of humor hasn't gone away.

Dang man, that's terrible. Enough history together you purchased land across the street from each other.

Hey, Sweed, for what it's worth, an outsider looking in might think that dude's ill. Like maybe not in his right mind, there a chance of that? No disrespect. To switch like that without even so much as a misunderstanding is weird.

I get it though. Kinda.. ithink..

Thanks for always being able to relate, appreciate it more than you know.

Knock-knock.

...

Smell mop.

= }

It's funny that you suggest that, we've considered that as well, but his wife, Randy, surely would have let us know if anything was up with his health.
I wish I *kinda *of got it, but I don't have a clue.

Knock-knock
who's there
I don't know, but it aint Pete.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Hey since I got you, I've been meaning to ask, can you get on a ladder?

Curious if you feel safe on one with the new knees. Tough to see myself getting on one again currently.

Sorry about the loss of your long time friends. That does seem a little weird, doesn't it? It seems like as long as they had known you, they would already understand your quirks and style.

Hello, Ms Artista.

Philip hurts the most because of that. He knows me well. He began changing when we were early 20's. Millionaire dad left him the business. He started getting really political then, began distancing himself from those of us who don't vote or entertain politics even though we'd been running together since childhood.

I was unaware he was so anti Bible.

It's crazy sometimes what folks will end friendships over. If someone has been your friend forever and you let politics or difference in beliefs divide you..... that is so ridiculous. I understand if someone hounds you all the time about one or the other because they are obsessed, but just knowing you don't see some things the same or the other person isn't deeply into what you are, well, you certainly cheat yourself by letting it make a difference in a friendship.

Of course, that is just my opinion, for what 2 cents that isn't always worth. 😄

I appreciate that, thank you. You're a bargain at twice the price. <3

Ohhhhh.... 4 cents ! Now I'm feeling QUITE valuable !

😂

Don't spend it all in one place!

I won't ! I think I am going to hoard it in case I feel the need to say something later that is worth more than 2 cents. ha ha

Ahhh, I don't know why I missed this post. But I'm glad I've seen it. I don't know where to start so I'll start from the good part first.

How you got that 'sooo' in the first paragraph to curve is ingenious. I absolutely love it.😄

And then to the other part. You're right and the reasons they left are quite lame and I can't even pretend to imagine what that feels like. And I can't even promise you'll get over it. But you'll be fine D and A. We all will.

Hello, good morning. It's morning where I am. So0Ooo glad you found me. = }

Pretty disappointing, eh? My buddy @nathen007 really brought it into perspective by pointing out physical and mental aren't far apart.

If I could put everything behind me and block it, I would. I need an Easy Button.

Thank you Jhymi. <3

Rightly said. They aren't far apart. The mental, and of course, the spiritual kind of controls or shall I say, works hand in hand with the physical.

I don't think there are easy buttons but I know it'll get easier.

It's Tessa, but yeah. Jhymi is fine too.🌺

Pleasure to know you Tessa. Thanks for keeping up with me.

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