Why Feminism Still Doesn't Make Sense To Others

in #writing6 years ago

Feminism has always been a part of our society, and not as a fully accepted and practiced concept or philosophy but rather just a growing revolution that still awaits validity from at least the majority of people in our society especially from our leaders. I have always written many articles on my personal blog and even papers for school requirements that promote this matter, however I have realized that the fight is not fought by just one army but by a bunch of other troops that somehow just join the bandwagon and totally neglect the main purpose of the fight.

We see many public figures joining the bandwagon, confusing both men and women about the real meaning of feminism, and here are examples (actually criticisms of Meghan Trainor and her really problematic songs):

Meghan Trainor on Body Types

Trainor's song All About That Bass just promoted that a certain body type is better than another


This does not settle the issues we have on body shaming but rather bring women against each other as they are influenced to seek validity and self-esteem through putting other women of different sizes below them. This just repeats the cycle; we bring a group of women down in order to raise another group, and since there is degradation against the group below, then there is another desire to go over the other again rather than just completely abolishing the root of all these which is capitalizing female bodies on media that only continuously set standards instead of showing diversity of female bodies.

Another thing I noticed in this song is this:


This shows that Meghan Trainor uses feminism to perhaps set a certain standard better than others in order to be more attractive than men instead of actually promoting feminism on her song by advocating its real concern which is to make women feel good about themselves without being bothered by social standards mostly based on men's preferences that usually leave no space for women's exercise of freedom. If she were really concerned about how her size is discriminated, she should not degrade other sizes in the first place then eventually connect this whole "advocacy" to the fact that how a woman should look like still has something to do with how men feel about it. Sure, it is not bad to impress or please a man, but it also is another thing to completely base all your choices as a woman off men's usually silly perception of what a woman should be like. Besides, making an individual choice regardless of gender should only be done by oneself alone.

Meghan Trainor's "Future Husband"

Dear Future Husband is also one of Meghan Trainor's hit songs. Some women find it empowering, but as a feminist with a sense of fairness and genuine equality which is also the main point of this movement, I do not find the song empowering even at the slightest. The song shows a stereotypical female character who demands too much from a man in order to get her to be with him--probably just to lead him on with false hopes and leave him with a bunch of expenses (the ending of the music video). It is okay for anyone to have preferences and high standards of their ideal partners of course, but it will always be unacceptable to give someone false hopes or have him/her spend a lot on you especially when you know you are not interested in him/her or if you know you don't treat him/her right. We women have always hated it when men give us false hopes that make some of us spend too much on make up, stunning outfits, fabulous shoes, and more, so why empower other women through just reversing the whole thing instead of working on ending it by practicing the solution ourselves.

Here is a link to the song's music video (watch it to understand where I am coming from):

Reviewing the Lyrics of Dear Future Husband

dearfuture husband.JPG

The lyrics show female's abusiveness towards the male in a relationship which is equivalent to a male's abusive "Do not wear this", "Do not do that" thing and other sexist and manipulative orders they make. This is not empowerment here, but rather entitlement (something that is never good regardless of sex). This silences the other person's opinion. Even people in gay relationships will agree on this, because this is just plain toxic.


This part depicts a relationship wherein the female is in control. Again, this is not female empowerment. This is not feminism AT ALL! This is an unhealthy manipulation over a partner. I should say that this also comes from the "treat me like a princess" mentality when by simply looking at it, relationships are partnerships and never supposed to be slavery or anything like it (watch the music video for reference). This is an obvious unfair deal. This is a female character that deprives her partner (in this case male, but could be a different gender as well) from seeing his family while she gets to see hers as often as she wishes--a very unhealthy and abusive setup that still promotes female entitlement. Also, being treated right doesn't mean being treated as a higher person but rather being treated with respect and there is a fine line between the two.

Why Feminism Still Doesn't Make Sense To Others

My examples show how media plays a big part in this movement. Feminism is often advocated in social media and other forms of media. Media is our second society even. Celebrities play a big part in this second society of ours. We aspire to be like them, we listen to them more than we pay attention to our school lecturers and parents even. We basically look up to them and get easily influenced by their ways. Now, when celebrities like Meghan Trainor use feminism in her songs and miss the real vision and mission of the movement, the fight becomes petty in the eyes of others. It becomes a confusing and complicated matter as female superiority is addressed in her songs. It conflicts with her said desire to have feminism be recognized and practiced. There are other celebrities who commit these errors in promoting feminism. They somehow just join the bandwagon, capitalize on the whole concept, earn from it, and forget the rest of the purpose of the movement leaving their fans confused and withdraw support from the essence of feminism and just forget the genuine meaning of it which based on one of the first results on Google, is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal:

to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women.



I enjoyed your post. I think you have basically hit upon the fact that Meghan Trainor has no intention of doing anything to help any women. She is just playing to the current culture of fake-regressive-activism for the constant parade of claimed victims for money, while doing her best to assuage her own ego in the process. It's pretty clear that Meghan Trainor is a narcissist, look at her obsession with flashing her awards in the "Me Too" video.

Honestly, I think that video alone is almost enough that I'd diagnose her with NPD:

Feminism has been co-opted by third-wave and other late stage feminists. It is no longer about helping women, it's a political identity politics block and victim movement. It's BlackLivesMatter or Antifa for women. It can't be taken seriously on any objective grounds because it has no reason or facts to fall-back on - things like the "gender-wage gap" are quite literally complete lies. There is no institutional sexism left, and women have a great deal of advantages over men (ineligible for draft, title IX suits protect job, alimony, drastically reduced criminal sentencing, presumption of better child custody, presumption of truth in rape/DV claims, child support, ability to get a Lacrosse team ruined with one sentence and no evidence, sometimes hired thanks to appearance, etc.)

Where are men's institutional advantage? Can we name one?

PS - Followed!

I've the same thoughts too. Tbh feminism is ywt another labeled movement which some can't fully fit themselves in, and it really doesn't cover many other important gender-related issues.

One should be highly skeptical of all -ISMs. They are almost always hate movements.

One (all) of these things is exactly like every other:


Thank goodness this post exists. I just searched the "feminism" tag on trending, and there are a few posts (like this one) by feminists, but there are even more by anti-feminists! Oh, the internet.

Oh, thanks, I appreciate it :)

Great post, i wouldn't even presume to "mansplain" feminism, but your points a about the song lyrics, is that not just the usual media exploitation of a subject that should be treated with a lot more intellectual respect, but then i suppose the problem with that is people look to songs like this as an example of feminist empowerment when its really just a cynical capabilities ploy to make money by hitting on a n issue that deserves proper respect and consideration.

Followed on the basis of a great post!

Thank you, I appreciate it!

Correct. Feminism still doesn't exists too me. I stay open though. In my eyes every woman, and this is not sexually meant at all, needs the male body and otherwise. The biggest feminist will still do some things between the sheets that they never thought they would accept. This is just my view.

That is a very existentialist view, I like that, but it really isn't necessarily a feminist issue I would say although it kinda is (haha you get me?). To "do some things between the sheets that they never thought they would accept" applies to any gender anyway, so yeah.

Sorry? What do you mean that every woman needs the male body, but it's not meant sexually? How do you mean? And also, why do you think this?

I am implying that the woman can be independant, but there will always be a temptation and hunger. But as @thegiamarcos says, this applies to any gender.

I see. I think that's a fine thought, but I have a few counterpoints:

  1. some women have temptation and hunger that is fulfilled by other women, not the male body.
  2. some people (and I have a friend like this) don't experience temptation and hunger the way I think you mean.

while these people are a minority of the population, so are left-handed people, so it's worthwhile to acknowledge their experiences, too. My grandpa was left-handed.

Honestly, feminism was destroyed by some idiotic women that misinterpreted the movement for their convenience. Is very sad that for people like them the movement became a circus.

Fantastic post! And it's especially encouraging to see it given the utter lack of good, though-provoking feminist articles here on Steemit.

I feel the feminist movement suffers as it's more like a subjective ideology than a philosophy with written rules. And this means that lyrics like Trainor's can be an example of feminism, just because someone says they are, even though in reality they just encourage us to be victims of patriarch-induced insecurities.

Pitting women against other women (as you nicely showed "All About That Bass" does) seems to have the intention to zag when everyones else zigs, but of course women are still the casualties as they're zagging in the wrong playing field. Rather than zagging at the root of the problem- attitudes on a woman's value- they attack the women that, perhaps unintentionally, embody this value by being slim, having blue eyes or being quiet and submissive.

And then of course "Dear Future Husband" seems to cheer the "spoilt brat" mentality- because we're told we're victims, we feel like we deserve compensation at the cost of another human being. Arguably it's slightly better than "All About That Base" as at least it's not dividing women, but of course this comes at the expense of "equal rights for everyone", which is ultimately what we want to reach.

And of course, by considering this "feminism", it's no surprise why so many see feminists as "bitchy women who hate man". After all, this representation completely misses the point.

Thanks for the dig on this past article! Appreciate you comments and insights! Followed you!

I agree so so so so much. Upvoted

Thanks! Appreciate it

Jesus Christ, worlds first REAL feminist.

Such a refreshing perspective. And right in line with my thoughts.

Good job.

Feminism doesn't make sense because it is so superficial. It blames media for things that are rooted deeply inside us, then assumes it could "fix" it all. It's just bizarre. Men and women will continue to try and be attractive to one another, if you like it or not. Sadly men will also continue to use women as decoration, just like women will continue to use men as utilities.

thank you for sharing

You're welcome, and thanks for reading as well!