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Toxicity in the attitudinal lifestyle of people is something I take seriously. I was speaking to a person recently and she was so vulgar, she was verbally abused, provoked at the slightest nothing and there was so much toxic tendency emanating from her so much that I couldn't keep up with how her toxicity affected me psychologically. Suprisingly she felt this toxicity was part of her and she needn't do anything about it. She compared her toxicity to something entirely different; she compared it to one being "their original true self" and because of this totally aggrandising and selfish perspective she had she felt she owed no one change or an apology to spewing so much toxicity that affects even the closest of people to her.
Truth is, our emotion is as raw as fire and when we let it out through our speeches and behaviours, without letting it through our set perceptive filters it makes us lunatics without control. Deep down, every human has a certain kind of turbulence, rage regret and pain but then not everybody totally allows this turbulence to dictate their personality, no one should let it dictate who they are. It's not difficult to attain inner peace, it can only be challenging. Sometimes some people can be affected by traumatic experiences and sometimes they get eaten up so deep by things they can't even say it. But then because life, human: there's this social aspect we are exposed to, we should deem it necessary to not make everyone we met a recipient of our anger or rage.
Currently, i have a medical condition and it was genetically inherited and it of course threatens my life. That's are times I've lashed out in anger, pain and regret and this of course affected my psyche, I looked for situation and scenarios to apportion blames. But then as I got older, more refined and settled I changed. The anger and mental pain about my health condition dictated my personality for a long time but then I realised. "This isn't me", I'm not an embodiment of my physical self alone. I had to quell the battles I was fighting with my inner self and outer self. No one around me deserves to be a recipient of my hate for man's ignorance and cruelty. But then I show up everyday like nothing is wrong despite the fact that sometimes I despair at the fact that I have serious health issues. Some are guilty while many aren't. While life can be loathing it's also can be beautiful and this is the aspect I usually hold on to.
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The person that I spoke about in the first paragraph felt she was born toxic and was wired that way. She failed to accept that she can can change and be better. She felt change would rid her of who she is and she was of the opinion that anyone who truly wants her company/real-time relationship needs to accept her toxicity. Why was she this way? This was because she felt her toxicity is nothing to be worried about and part of her core self. Truth is, no one deserves a toxic attitude meted to them. I had to let go of her, her friendship or whatever we were even if it pained me. In life it's imperative to look inwards because that's where you can find answers to the most conflicting questions you have.
Conclusion.........?
We must understand that toxicity is an external force and never part of who we are. Who we are, is embedded in our core essence; unchangeable. Exclusively part of us by default and not caused by any beautiful or harsh experiences of any sort. So who we are isn't suppose to be toxic. No one is born toxicity so toxicity can never qualify for originality. Who we are is meant to be original but then no one should say *"toxicity or being toxic is who they are and can't change" there's a huge difference between our default self and the selves of different magma that we secondaryily become due to our various experiences in life. It's imperative to understand that toxicity is just a surface attitude and it can change us on the surface as well but then it's not who we are and we're bendable and change of course is of the essence.
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My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian student who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet And Sports Writer/Analyst. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
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Oh this is SO interesting!!! It always fascinates me how people can say start some kind of genetic wiring is an excuse for being unkind and abusive and angry. When they say it is "their original true self" I feel sorry for them because I don't think they really realise what the meaning of true self is. This post raises some really interesting questions for me and I appreciate that you wrote it. I didn't realise that you had health conditions.
Some people have a lot of trauma that wire their brains in particular ways. I feel such empathy for their suffering but sometimes they don't understand what it is that they're doing or why what they say or do might be hurtful to others... I guess we have to count to that by paying the nicest possible people that we can be.
Beautiful response.
Yeah, thanks a lot for your comment. Yeah I have these underlying health issues and it kinda affected who I am up until a long time. Basically this could have been me, but I wouldn't allow my pain make me have toxic tendencies.
People think it can be in their nature to be toxic and they accept this and this is entirely wrong. It's amazing to see your comment
There was a time I tried alcohol and I was talky all through that period, people told me the alcohol only brought out my true self. At that moment, I believed them though I am a reserve person who's always calm.
As time when by, I wanted to control that alcohol not the alcohol controlling me. It worked but I stopped taking it. So you've rightly said, toxicity doesn't define us
Thanks for the comment
First, allow me to give this post a round of applause 👏. This is very fantastic. From the beginning down to the end. Now down to my say,
Seriously, a lot of people have gotten the concept wrong that attitudes that are displayed isn't something that they are born with. Yea, there are most cases that the circumstances one passes through may allow the body react in such a tremendous manners but the fact many have taken this to be a fixed issue that cannot be changed is very alarming.
As I was saying earlier, none of us are given birth to with any of these attitudes - be it good or bad. But we emulate and develop them as we grow and for this reasons, we should understand that we can have them fixed or changed whenever we want to. Most people uses this excuse when they don't want to succumb to the truth. They will be like,
But the reality is, this isn't who they are but what they have made themselves become
It's the reality. A lot of people feel that they're born toxic and this is basically wrong and getting people often to see this and is sometimes really difficult.. it feels like you're about to change them and this post is of course is a way I used to address this. Thanks for your comment everytime. I appreciate
You welcome bro
Your post has been featured in the ecoTrain What's Up Curation Post.. Thank you again for posting great content to the ecoTrain community!
https://peakd.com/hive-123046/@ecotrain/what-s-up-from-the-ecotrain-community-on-hive-20
Oh great, I'm off to see the curation post.