If it doesn't inspire and support you to make practical changes to improve yourself to be the kind of person you want to be, it isn't helping you.
That is the last line from my last article. And I was thinking about it in terms of my own consumer behaviours and the balance between entertainment and self-improvement. In some cases, it can actually be both, but I predict that most of our entertainment doesn't actually do much to help has toward being the kind of person we want to be. Unless, the kind of person we want to be, is the kind who doom scrolls largely useless content in order to get a quick dopamine hit, whilst wasting time.
If that is the case, we are on point.
"Self-improvement" has become an industry over the last few decades, with billions of dollars being spent on the books, and courses and gyms and whatever else. However, that is not the type of self-improvement I am talking about, though depending on what a person is trying to improve, it is definitely possible to get support through those kinds of channels. As I have experienced myself and observed in others, the majority of the self-improvement industry is not actually making much difference and offering little more than a bandaid of motivation and a feeling of being on the right track, despite most people not improving themselves.
Going back to that definition of "improvement" in the other article, it is about adding value to what already exists, which in this case, is our self. So, if we are improving ourselves, that means we are making ourselves more valuable, which begs the question, what is the value of the improvement? And this is tough to answer, because there are many ways to consider value that lay outside of the measurable numbers, even though that is what we generally consider when thinking about profit.
Who profits?
If someone learns how to manage their emotions, think clearly and consider the circumstances before making a decision, pr performing an action, this is valuable. However, even though this is self-improvement, the value isn't constrained to the individual, as it has compounding effects on others. A parent who is able to think clearly and make well-considered actions, is going to benefit the child, the family, the community, the various colleagues and acquaintances and so on. This means that the value of every action, gets multiplied down the various networks to bring additional value to others, even if they were never directly interacting with the initial person.
Actions have a ripple effect.
But perhaps, staying still as a human isn't a net-zero position at all, since each of us take up resources and have effects on those around us. Maybe, in a world where many of us value personal desire fulfilment in the moment, even if that means sitting in front of a screen doing nothing, we are a net-cost on society. Not because we aren't adding value to others, but because we are taking value in order to stand stagnate.
You know those people who you can be around and feel supercharged after, because for whatever reason, they just seem to inspire you, or put you in a good mood with a smile on your face, just from being around them? That is not the norm for most of us, as the majority do not do that for others. Instead, we are far more likely to either be neutral or negative in terms of impact on others. People don't walk away with a smile feeling good, and then are nice to the waiter at the restaurant, in a pay it forward kind of way. Most walk away feeling the same, acting the same, doing the same as they would have done, even if they didn't meet us.
And what that also means, is that we walk away from most people, unaffected by their presence. They haven't added value to us, or we didn't take away the potential value of the situation. Whatever it is, we keep on doing, what we would have done anyway.
And it is this that I think about in terms of the content we are consuming, the people we surround ourselves with and the way we walk through the world, consciously unaffected by our environment. Of course, we are still influenced in subtle ways that will gently nudge us in the direction of the path of least resistance. But we aren't generally learning from our experience to the point that we become aware of the possibility to take another step in the direction of the person we want to be, and taking that step.
Improvement comes in many forms and there are many things that an individual can value, that another might not. Yet, if as an individual, we were to define the "kind of person I want to be", it would give a pretty clear direction and a list of tasks to make that journey. If anything on that list is something is unwilling to do, then it is impossible for them to be that kind of person, and they would have to adjust. If you want to be a swimmer but don't want to get into the water, you can't be a swimmer.
It is the same for everything.
I think the benefit of working this out and then working toward making it happen, is that it narrows our focus down, shutting out a lot of noise, and other options. I think especially now, where we have access to so much and consume so much, it is easy to want far more than we can ever obtain, and in so doing, end up being scattered and disorganised, unfocused and spread too thin, accomplishing very little. Our personal "profit" is diminished, because we are putting our capital energy into too many things, without enough to make a significant difference in our lives, or those of others.
I'm guilty of this.
I need more focus. More attention paid, on fewer things in my life. And this is hard in an environment that has been incentivised by drawing our attention to what doesn't really matter. Just think of the majority of things you pay for, that someone is profiting from selling, and realise that the profit comes from somewhere - You. Not just the money, but your attention in that show, that screen, that platform, that whatever it is, is profiting them, because you are spending your time performing the actions they want you to perform.
Are they really the actions you want to perform?
From a desire perspective, yes. From a self-improvement perspective, probably not. So in order to make them a profit, you have to give up adding value to yourself, and making a profit for yourself, your family, your community. I don't think most people think about the time the spend in this way, even though they know they might be "wasting" time. But it isn't a waste, is it? When I waste my time with non-value-adding content, it is only a waste for me, my family, and my community. For the people pushing the content, the platform and their shareholders, my time is not wasted, because they are turning a profit from my behaviour. I am being milked of value potential, shifting it from local pockets, into conglomerate shareholders.
Is that the kind of person I want to be?
And when eight billion people are doing it, the volume of value that is being transferred from us, to the very few, is enormous. But, because we aren't really paying attention to even our own behaviours and impacts, it feels to us like our behaviours are harmless. It is like a smoker throwing away their butt - what harm can be done? Well, the estimate is 4.5 trillion cigarette butts are littered (not just smoked) annually, and that is enough to fill up Central Park in New York.
The cost of our behaviours, add up.
What will you do to increase your personal value?
Taraz
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The little things 😅 One of the favorite arguments against activism on a personal level was always "what difference does it make? I'm alone!" Especially when I went vegetarian and then vegan, I was belittled, told that it wouldn't make an impact. "The cows are going to be killed, anyway!" That's been 12 years now, and I do believe that the little shift of my spending in a capitalist world made a difference. And, also, suddenly I'm not alone anymore. 12 years ago, there was almost no vegan convenience food available. Now, even here in Ecuador, I can get Beyond Meat burgers and sausages and all that. Over time, little things turn big.
When I had more time, I used the empty flour bags to recollect garbage on the way between the house I was living in and the local elementary school. I always filled the 50kg bag easily, once a week, sometimes twice. People didn't throw away less litter - but the kids saw me. Some came over and helped me. Some brought the litter that they were probably going to throw on the ground and put them in my bag, and I thanked them. That probably had more of an impact than every hypocritical lecture on not-to-litter by a teacher who throws away his cigarette buds, just like everyone else. Actions can teach so much more than words at that age.
I was raised vegetarian in Australia, and at that time, it was very, very rare to have anything available. My mum was called into the school to talk to the principal about my older brothers, because they believed not feeding meat was child abuse :D
I have noticed a stark increase in children and young adults littering now. It wasn't an issue when I was a kid, nor was it an issue when I first came to Finland. All that talk of "environmental awareness in the young" seems to be BS from what I have commonly observed.
It's similar here. People don't understand it, and as they have no idea about nutrition anyway, nor do they see that many of their sickness comes from over-consumption of animal products, they judge. And "joke". The protein question... the island... Oh, and the macho infused "so you don't do oral sex, because, you know, it's meat, hahahaha so funny!"
Maybe it skipped a generation? Too much focus on it, turning the now-parents away when they were kids? I don't even understand why people litter. Everything has pockets these days. And most litter is so small. But that's me. I'm weird. Positively weird, I hope.
:D
I think the litter thing here is that there isn't focus on it. Parents don't litter, their kids do. There are bins everywhere here also.
I think mental self improvement is more useful to me than physical. I know what I need to do to improve things with my body, but the mind is a much tricker place. Also, since I got married, I have been much more aware of the money I spend on things. My wife has never liked a lot of clutter, so I have really started to adopt the "simplify" lifestyle over the years.
Where do you feel you should focus? Is it on a particular trait or situation?
I know I get frustrated quite easily and I tend to take things personally. I am getting better. Reading that book "Let Them" and becoming more aware of it has helped.
The awareness is a big part of it, isn't it? I am slowly getting better at being more aware in the moment, trying to catch out the many stupid things I do, before I do them. :)
Yes, it's actually kind of surprising I didn't notice the behaviours sooner, but I guess age helps things. Now I can at least say to myself "why am I reacting this way".
I recently learnt to pick one area of my life I want to improve, and work on it slowly so I don't get overwhelmed. I've often tried to boost my online presence by trying to do a lot in a short period of time. But this approach yields very little result as I get overwhelmed and drop off. But when I learnt to take it slowly but surely, small efforts compounded into big results. This helps keep me focused: Focus on only one thing in a way your mind can handle without feeling pressured, ignore all other things as if they don't matter. You can come back to work on them when you're finished with the first task.
This is the way to do it for most people I think. It helps to have reminders to "keep us aware" and on track. But if there are too many things to track, it is impossible. Living a good life, shouldn't be that difficult.
While I was reading your post, I was just reflecting on my habits. Maybe I think this, so much entertainment online, I'm really pushing it too far. And it was not what I planned or what I wanted it to be. Your main idea of focusing on what really at value is very important. But due to so much distractions in social media, I don't think it is very easy to just remain focused on what gives you value.
I want to be calm with my thoughts.
But yet, I'm still distracted by screens.
So, I'll try to pick one goal. Maybe listen better or try to work on one goal daily. Maybe it will be helpful. Although it will be tough to ignore the noise. Give me a suggestion that will benefit me in the long run.
Are you where you want to be in your life? Are you doing the things you want to do, having the things you want to have, the relationships you value?
Is entertaining yourself helping?
This post really made me to think about how I spend my time. I usually find myself going through content that feels as if it's fun but at the end it does not help me. I want to be an inspiration to others and I need to focus on things that add value to myself.
It's just about starting small maybe counting down those meaningless scrolling and just try to engage in something meaningful. This is a wake-up call.
What did you do today in service to being the kind of person you want to be?
I feel that focusing on practical actions for self-improvement enhances my life rather than depleting it.
That was exactly me in my 20s-30s! Though now that I've3 narrowed it down to basically three things it's apparently still too much -_-