Why Don't You Have A Child Together? 👨‍🍼 I Always Get This Question 🤱🏽 & More 🪚🔨

in ASEAN HIVE COMMUNITY2 years ago

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Every Monday to Saturday, my husband takes his children to school in Thmor Da. After taking the children to school, he works in Hive and I clean the house and watch my brother build the house for us. Some mornings there are neighbors who come to visit and we talk about other things.

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This is the daughter of a villager, this little girl is very gentle and friendly. When I was holding her, someone told me to take another child, and they said that if you have a child with your husband, you will have a beautiful child.

This is not the first person to say that to me. I hear it almost every day as long as I meet new people. I always tell them different reasons, but many people still wonder why I do not have children with my husband. Sometimes I'm too lazy to answer, I just laugh at them.

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Some people say that I am selfish and do not have children for my husband, and I reply that we do not have children anymore because we have two children already and she say that these children are not his flesh, he must be wanting a child from his flesh, I stopped talking and laughed. When I stopped talking, she said again, "If you do not give him a child, one day he will leave you."

She has told me more words but I do not reply to her because I told her a lot about my reason, but she did not understand and thought I was selfish. Some people, if they think their ideas are right, no matter what reason we tell them, they will not listen to us, so for some reason it is useless.

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This is the road we take our children to school every day. It’s so far from our house.

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It has been raining for a whole week and it has been slow to build a house. But this morning it is not raining, so they work more than every day.

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But this morning it is not raining, so they work harder every day.

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But after lunch it’s a big rain. They are working in a big rain. I called them to stop work also but they said it’s okay, they wanted to finish their work.

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Beautiful flower after rain. I hope you are doing well everywhere you are.

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Dad
@JustinParke
Mom
@SreyPov
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Srey-Yuu
@KidSisters
Monkey B
@KidSisters
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The thought of Justin leaving you is impossible. He's had plenty of chances hasn't he? And you guys had such a tough time in Suriname and he STILL didn't leave, and nor did you. When I saw him crying at the airport to see the @KidSisters at last, well, that showed the entire Hive world how much he adores them as his own. They ARE his children, and YOU know that.

I am married to a man that isn't the biological father of our son. WE've been together twenty years and I always joke that as a man he could find another younger woman and have ten kids. That makes him feel horrified haha.

THey just don't understand how strong you all are and how you are totally FAMILY together. So just keep smiling!

 2 years ago  

Yes, that’s right! I never thought he would leave us for this reason. I always trusted his love for us. To me, he was a good husband and a good father. Thank you so so much for your kind words my dear sister. I hope you are always enjoy with your family and happiness.

I can see why some might feel the urge to ask the question, as everyone has different ideas when it comes to being parents and can't always understand why other people's differ. Some seem to feel that they are only really parents when the child is biologically their own, while others feel they are the parent when they are involved in raising them, whether they are biologically theirs or not. I know of many families where they have had children from previous relationships and many do feel the need to have a biological child together. I often wonder if this makes the original children feel less wanted and loved in the new partnership.

It must get wearing when the question is asked a lot, though.

 2 years ago  

I am glad to hear from your thoughts. Love comes from intimacy and from the heart we have for each other, whether in the flesh or not in the flesh. It's like my daughter's father, they've never been in touch and never met, so they have no feelings for each other. Thank you for your feedback.

 2 years ago (edited) 

Oh my dear Pov, never mind them and to laugh at them is the right thing to do. They should respect your reply to them. Justin is a good father who provides for your family. He cared a lot for you and the @kidsisters. The question of you two not having a child together is a very personal question, so be cool and just shrug your shoulder , you need not reply to them.

I envy you with the house facing the creek, will the water get too high in case it rained heavily for days?

 2 years ago  

I'm not angry or upset with their questions, but sometimes I wonder why they can tell us to do this or that, even though they have never known us before. The water rises about an hour and then it is normal because it is high here. Thanks a lot for your feedback. Have a great day.

 2 years ago  

Thank you darling! Have a great evening!

 2 years ago  

I don't agree those questions or words, everyone has a reason The questioner should listen and respect the decision. The truth shouldn't be asked that kind of question. I understand you and your husband. and respect you excellent parenting. Your home will soon be complete. And it's definitely a nice home to live in. Good day. Thank you for sharing.

 2 years ago  

I agree with you that all people have their own reasons and we must respect their reasons. Thank you so much for your good feedback. Have a great weekend.

The work is coming along nicely.

And don't mind those people. Whenever I encounter such situations, I try to remember that this is all they know and it's their way of life and living and they believe that they're helping. Although, if it happens way too often, it might get annoying, but instead of snubbing, I'll refrain myself.

Enjoy the weekend! 😊

 2 years ago  

I do not care about them, but sometimes I wonder why they can ask these questions and let us do this or that on their own. I can not say that to anyone. Thank you for your feedback.

I do not care about them, but sometimes I wonder why they can ask these questions and let us do this or that on their own.

I understand that people are sometimes behaving or acting strangely. I often tell myself whenever I'm not able to solve the puzzle called "human" that I'll just have to let it be.

Why people ask questions like that still baffles me!
I have 2 sons, & everyone used to nag me to try for a daughter, but I was happy with my boys. Now they're in their early 40s, one in a longtime relationship & the younger one still single.
Now I get asked - why don't they get married, why no grandchildren? But like you, I just smile at them & say it's their choice & will happen if it's meant to, if it doesn't, so be it, that's not what life is about.
No need to conform just because it's expected.
Enjoy your chosen life with your Justin and enjoy your new home, I'm so haply for you @sreypov

 2 years ago  

I think only people in my country ask such questions but your country too. People in my country like to ask a lot of personal questions like these, it is common that they ask us when we have a new family and do not have children together. They do not think that having two children as a family before is enough for us, but they think that our love as a new family is not enough. Thank you for your kind words my dear. Have a wonderful time with your family.

The baby girl in the photo looks very cute. I think it is a very personal question to ask. It is up to you and your husband whether you want to have a child together. They should just mind their own business.

 2 years ago  

It's a common question that people like to have a conversation, but some people say we have to do it, if we do not do it, it will like that and like those. Thank you for your feedback .

The little house with the blue roof, is that the house they are building for you? It is cute! I am so glad you will have your own house soon! 😊

 2 years ago  

Yes, it’s our new house. This house is from the previous owner, which has not been built yet, my brother and uncle are getting it done soon. Thank you so so much @thekittygirl for your comment and support our family 🙏🏻❤️.

@sreypov that question and those judgements. They're simply just not fair. Nobody has walked in your shoes. I wrote about exactly these issues on Mother's Day. I think everyone has to make the choices they do and be respected for them.

 2 years ago  

Yes, these are exactly right. They do not live with us, they certainly do not understand our lives, so I do not care what they say, most importantly, my family is happy with these two daughters is enough. Thank you very much for your kind words 🙏🏻😊❤️

Your body, your rules. You and your husband had clearly made a decision about having children, and people should respect it. I have been with my partner for 10 years and we get asked "When are you going to get married", we ignore them at this point.
Love the children you have.
Also, I think your house is going to look amazing.

 2 years ago  

Yes, tthat’s right. Thank you so much for kind words. Have a beautiful day.

 2 years ago  

You are right, people wants this and that with our life and not even be in our shoes. There are reasons for everything and that alone can be an answer to all those questions. We don't have to prove them.

Working in heavy rains. The location is very near the creek, hope no big floods. In our place, we couldn't build very near for the water overflows when there is heavy rain falls.

 2 years ago  

Sometimes we just laugh is an adequate answer. There is no flood here because it is high. Thank you very much for good comments. Have a great day.

Your reaction to these ridiculous questions is perfect. It's yours and your husband's life and decision what you want. Justin clearly sees the girls as his own children and the bond between them is real. To be a father you don't need to have a flesh and blood child.

The house looks so amazing. I wish I could live in this place. I just love it so much. It's my dream house. Good day my friend.😊

 2 years ago  

It is the mindset of many Cambodians who think that intense love must be inherited, and I have explained to many people that the love of my husband and my two daughters is beyond fatherhood, and for some other reason, but they do not really believe that love that does not come from the blood is greater than the father. This is one of the reasons I do not answer some people's questions, I just laugh at them, I do not get angry with them, because they are not about our family love. I wish your dreams come true my dear friend.

 2 years ago  

it was a good respond of stop talking and laughed at it like a jokes than keep argues with them. Be strong and keep doing what is you think better for yourselves and family. we always wish u all the best for every decision that you make

 2 years ago  

Thank you so much for kind words and support out family. Have a nice day.

 2 years ago  

បានកូនមួយទៀតបាត់មីងពៅ

 2 years ago  

Hahahaha, កូនគេទេបង

We do not have to explain to people of what we want to do with our life. Just laugh or smile at their queries.

 2 years ago  

yes, I often do that. Thank you for the stopping by.

 2 years ago  

It's great to see the work on your cabins is coming along with your brother's help. It will be wonderful when it's all finished.

 2 years ago  

If there is no rain, this work is almost done, but it will not last long, it will be ready. thank you 🙏

Nice house project! Very exciting!
World War 3 is coming soon! Stay healthy and strong!

 2 years ago  

I pray that it does not happen and that there be peace everywhere. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thanks for sharing your experience with us!
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 2 years ago  Reveal Comment
 2 years ago  

Thank you so much 😊