Have you ever felt that you failed as a parent in the past? I just had one previously.
Dyn-Dyn is already one year and eight months of age. She is an energetic young girl that is the source of our joy.
In hindsight, everything is doing well, I would assume, but then we realized that something is wrong.
From her age, we noticed she wasn't quite a talker. She sings songs, but a conversation of sorts isn't something that she starts.
I thought it was normal...
I mean, knowing how introverted I am, I rarely talk, I guess, and per the conversation that I had with my mom back then, I was a quiet child before but became a chatterbox afterward.
April and I had been talking about what is likely the case of Dyn's behavior. It is rare to get a Developmental Pediatrician here in the country, so most folks will resort to checking the internet for details. We scan multiple articles to check if it was within the autism spectrum. But none of them could point out what was going on.
Probably because of the pandemic? We don't know.
A certain study shows that one out of six children born during this period has speech concerns - The 74 Million
Some say that because of the lack of interaction with other kids, the speech pattern was delayed. Some are from birth and genes, etc.
So we had a brief talk with @chillwithshanna who handles The Online Speech Studio, for context, Shana is a speech pathologist by a profession who's based in Cebu. Since we are from Laguna, which is miles away from their place, we had a short video call to consult on what we can do to help our child.
I didn't take any pictures from the consultation as Dyn-Dyn's been latching to April for the whole time of discussion.
We mentioned our concern and tried to rule out some details. Though she agrees to have our child checked with a doctor since they are the ones who will do the diagnostics. We come up with some plans to improve Dyn's interaction.
Possible Root Cause
Screentime has been a part of our parenting. As busy parents, we let Dyn watch streams of animated music and other educational videos for her to be entertained.
It helped us in a way because we figured out that she was not deaf and she can mimic the sounds as I have shared in my other blogs. but now I think we regretted that decision.
The videos that we play last for more than hours. And when I say hours that is above the recommended threshold, which is at least 30 minutes max a day. We play with them if I have something to do on my computer and if April's doing something outside. If we want Dyn not to bother us, we always use that approach.
I am guilty and I felt wrong about that when everything sank in.
She can surely say some words and follow the actions done on screen, but she isn't speaking or looking for us when we talk. It is heartbreaking, but then again, the blame is on us because we let that happen.
Our Resolution
It is hard, but we agreed to obliterate the screen time from our list. Each time that I open my computer, Dyn-Dyn looks at my screen and jumps and maybe under the impression that I will play her favorite videos, but then I am not.
We will also limit our internet usage and work with playing with her during our wee hours. As much as I love to stay in the loop with everything online this is the best decision that we come up with.
screen is one way communication, ang screen lang nagsasalita pero hindi siya makasagot, wala din magtuturo sa kanya ano isagot and hindi din siya makakuha ng reaction kung tama ba sinabi nya o hindi kasi hindi naman nag rerespond ang screen sa sasabihin nya - @chillwithshanna
This is my AHA! the moment that maybe she is not responding because she doesn't know how to respond. It felt that we had robbed her of the opportunity to interact with us.
We are on our 2nd day of not doing any screen time for her. No YouTube videos, no Ms. Rachel on the side, or even other songs. Just us, playing with her and watching her do her silly stuff and giving her random items.
A vast improvement already!
She is waving to strangers and each time that she is having trouble with her toys she approaches us in a way and tries to mimic what we talk about.
She now speaks the word kain which is to eat each time that we will show her the food that she will eat, etc.
Realizations
Back then, when we don't have a kid we told ourselves that screens are a no-go. It was an ideal set-up, but in this day of age that is a hard thing to do. Nothing beats a personal interaction with your kids. Play with them and teach them words. We cannot remove our screens anymore in our life but at the very least limit them.
The development of our child lies in our hands. If you feel you made a mistake, it is okay to get back on your feet, admit and then move forward with a new mindset ahead.
In most of my blogs, I just share the joy of parenthood and some struggles that we are facing as a couple, but this time I felt that maybe someone is also experiencing this problem with their child. If this is you, this message is also for you. If you haven't had one yet, you can take these lessons and hopefully they can help you in raising your little one.
I'm a father of six, my experience has been that my children don't really speak much until they are about two or three. My youngest is 18 months and only says a few words. Maybe he got it from his daddy, I didn't speak until I was three!
It's a good plan reducing screen time and interacting with your daughter more, I bet she's really enjoying the extra attention. Good daddy! You haven't failed, your daughter is doing fine. We had to teach our children to make eye contact with us when we speak and even now, my five year old still needs practice. Its all a normal part of raising children.
From my experience, if your daughter is energetic and singing songs, it's a sign that she's developing just fine.
Wow I can only imagine the joy and the struggles of being a parent of six. We only have one and I guess we are one and done already.
I was a chatterbox at an age of two per my mom, my wife is also one since there's a ton of kids that we can play back then. Now since we moved in the province it is only us three in the place. The compound where we reside have kids too but they rarely go outside in our walks around the neighborhood seems like kids are still kept at home and few folks play.
Thank you Ironshield this validation is needed nowadays especially coming from an experienced dad.
SHE IS!! Never knew that she had such charm even more when we are playing.
I appreciate you dropping by!
We learn as we make mistakes. The important thing is to catch them and correct them. I have also had to limit my youngest daughter's tablet use. Even we adults, especially if we work via the internet, spend a lot of time in front of the computer or cell phone screen. I think it is healthy to set limits and try to share more time away from the internet.
Indeed, acknowledging that we made a mishap and correcting them is a great act. Never knew that we had been making bad choices before though the intentions are good.
We talked about this thing back then, if we are going to buy one turns out that she doesn't need this for us.
100%!
Thanks man for dropping !PIZZA
Thank you for this one, @tpkidkai! This is a reminder for me. Although I have read and watch so many videos about this, I didnt know it is really existing...
You will do good brother. My experience may be different from yours pero totoo nga na nag exist sya. It can make yourself paranoid and fail at the same time but once you rule out everything and consult with someone you will feel more confident on what you do and will spark some hope after.
Basta give your child the attention that they need. Kasi ako sa sobrang ka busy-han ko sa mga bagay bagay I neglected such na di ko sinasadya.
it is not too late brother! Kaya nyo yan! Wag mo sanang sabihin that you failed,kasi hindi pa tapos.
Kids' entertainment nowadays is very different from back then. We used to watch Disney for hours but we still go outside to play. As an adult, I am also minimizing myself on screen by committing myself to a Sunday walk, and then I take pictures of flower tas iblog dito hahah.
Dyn-dyn is so adorbs! Gosh, kacute na chikiting. I do hope her communication approach will improve more. Feeling ko I can relate more on this once na naging parent ako.
!PIZZA
Can't agree more to this. My nephew had a cellphone around two years old and he is now an expert in using apps ( 7 years old na sya)
Grabe yung pagiging techy nila.
HAHAHA samedt dito I use na may mobile phone para mag take ng mga pics everywhere na pwede di ko lang ma post ng isang bagsakan lol.
Thanks Ji! She is doing waaayyy better now. Nang-iirap nadin pag di sinubuan ng pagkain haha feeling ko talaga we haven't gave her the chance to interact with us that much. She is enjoying her time and also our undivided time for her I guess.
Salamat sa !PIZZA
you are doing great!
Thankies Demoo <3 !LUV
@demotry, @tpkidkai(1/3) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki |
NFT | <>< daily
Kaya kailangan din makipagbonding kay Dyn-dyn para mapractice yung communication skills at I know na ginagawa ninyo ang best ninyo
HAHA wala masyado tao dito sa amin kami kami lang. Welp, wala na kami pa video ngayon. Tsaka nalang me mag online pag tulog na ang lahat.
My child was exposed to gadgets when she was 2 years old. But still, I don't agree to let her watch for long hours. It's really good to let her exposed to toys and outdoor games.
Nako she was exposed at a more early age talaga. Nakakaguilty pero we can always move forward in parenting. LABAN lang.
Naghahanap pa kami ng bata na makakalaro haha saan kaya makakabili kahit Hive ang bayad anu.
Hehe... Try to read the blogs of @homeedders community. You can learn a lot of activities for your child. ☺️, so that she will not be exposed to gadgets for long hours. ☺️
Hehe.. Gala kayo minsan sa labas na may mga bata.
Ui check ko nga yan! Di ko pa nagagalaan yang community na iyan.
Thanksss!
This is a sad reality nowadays @tpkidkai, most parents used gadgets as way to entertain children.
There are times that I felt sorry for my son as he can't relate to some songs commonly sang by kids same at his age. I know the reason because I didn't let him watch YouTube videos.
One of our neighbor felt so proud before because his daughter already knows how to sing alphabet at an early age. I just told him childs development is not the same. My son knows already how to walk that time and his is not but so good in singing alphabet. Time pass and his daughter don't know how to interact, don't know how to speak and don't understand us even she is already 3. Reason? Because her daughter watch videos as early as 6am onwards.
When I gave birth, I really decided to stop working to attend my son. Pero kahit ganito, I still have lot of lapses as a mother but hopefully we still managed it.
Give more time sa anak nyu to, time to talk and time to play. If possible mother tongue kayo Bago Ang English language.
Hopefully maging okay din si Dyn2 soon.
This is what we are experiencing currently, she can sing songs from Youtube but the interaction isn't happening. We are in the same situation as they are but we take everything and check some milestones at heart.
Youtube video, isn't that interactive as there's no one teaching them aside from the screen. Nothing beats the physical interaction - we are seeing the changes now.
It's good that you change the habit now. I don't know if our neighbor before take some changes, actions or steps too to help their daughter. How sad his father right now is a dialysis patient. I haven't check on them na.. sana like you mag take action din Sila.
Prevention is better than cure parin ate Jen eh alam mo naman sa case natin na magulang mabilis tayo mag worry sa improvements ng anak natin.
You're right kaya let's do what is best and what is right for our kids.
I'm not a parent yet but I've witnessed the struggle of balancing career/making a living and parenting from my two sisters'. It's not easy so don't be too hard on yourself. It's not too late yet. My nephew and niece get to have their screentime on weekends when all school work/projects are done.
Glad there's been improvement, @tpkidkai. Praying it will continue as time progresses. 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks Patty! The joy and hardship of being a parent what a bliss!
Nako ito mas na rerealize namin na keen observant nga si baby galing!
Tsaka na sya mag screentime pag nag school na. Hahaha
TPPP! It was nice to meet your family. Thank you for the opportunity to help you in ways that I know. and NO hindi ka failure! You and your wife are doing great because inapply nyo agad! just be consistent and you'll be surprised how much she can improve with your extra attention in playtime and family activities. Reach out anytime!
Thank you shana! Super duper laki ng help and guidance. Pinaprint namin ang handouts para pag gamit namin wala din kaming gadgets on playing with her.
Earlier, when we are clapping na notice ni Dyn-Dyn na ako ay naka upward at si April ang downward na palakpak hinwakan ang kamay ko para ipoint din pa down ang clapping.
She is observant, medyo quiet nga sya sa others pero sa amin madaldal at panay babbles.
TP follow mo to siya sa youtube, speech therapist for kids maraming tips for teaching little ones: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpeechScoop
Aww. It's relieving to know that Dyn-Dyn is making great progress, Kuya. This is a lesson for all parents or guardians out there. Even me, because I have tons of toddler cousins who rely on smartphones as well. I am not a parent but I was an elder sister to my once-baby brother and had to take care of him because they're working.
I think our shortcomings as a guardian are just as natural as no one is perfect. Because we are all learning our way every day to guide them best. And when we do, we learn for the betterment of these kids.
Thanks Arques grabe nakaka frustrate minsan pero it turns out na may fault din kami on what happened.
Lesson learned sya for us ngayon we are enjoying our time more together as a family.
I wish you and your family good health and blessings, Kuya! Fighting langs.
I gifted $PIZZA slices here:
tpkidkai tipped jijisaurart (x1)
@tpkidkai(2/5) tipped @jcrodriguez (x1)
jijisaurart tipped tpkidkai (x1)
Join us in Discord!
@tpkidkai, one of your Hive friends wishes you a Happy Valentine's day and asked us to give you a new badge!
To find out who wanted you to receive this special gift, click here!
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
Check out our last posts: